The Nationals are the winner of the 2019 World Series.

FAILED THE A+ EXAM FOR THE LAST TIME.

At least the 902 version--it is now obsolete. 

And I probably don't have pneumonia.

janedoe@seductive.com

I FOUND OUT THIS MORNING THE GREAT LOVE OF MY LIFE DIED

PAUL ADAMS DIED.

On October 20, 2012 around 5 AM he saved my life.

Some day

Didn’t watch

Remembering my father and his twin sister, Aunt Margie, who would have been 95 years old today.

Not feeling too great today.

THESE ARE THE KIND OF GUYS WHO ASK ME OUT:

If you look like that you should at least be able to spell:


 

You gotta give these guys credit. Some of them can't even spell. #AdamLevine #adamlevinechallenge #Maroon5 #maroon5superbowl #superbore53 #superbore #superbored #superboredom https://t.co/4oSXgUtf8K

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) February 9, 2019

STRAIGHT OUTTA FUCKS

SUPERBORE

The game was definitely a yawner and the spots not much better. There did not seem to be as many preachy spots this year, but also very few that gave me the feels, made me laugh out loud or want to  rush out to buy their products.

Here is an alphabetical list (from Business Insider) that I liked the most and the least--the ones that left me cold were left out:

Audi: tasteless

Avocados from Mexico: stupid. And are Mexicans not offended by that little tag at the end?

Budweiser: mildly funny, Michelob unconvincing.

Bumble--Can't Serena Williams get her own dates?

Burger King--Why?

Expensify: The third eye is kinda cool.

Google--Tries to play on our emotions but at least throws a bone to the military.

Hyundai--probably the best but I still wouldn't buy one.

Kia--gets my emotions aroused then I remind myself, "what are they selling? Cars."

M&M's. Stupid. I never liked the M&M guys.

Microsoft--I thought it was an ad for Shriner's Hospital. I guess their message is "Microsoft cares about people with disabilities."

NFL: Pretty funny even if you're not a football fan but you have to realize the NFL's 100th anniversary is next year. I thought it was either supposed to be some kind of futuristic thing or that we'd be seeing hundred-year old players.

Olay: Teasers were pretty good but how is the LGBT community going to feel about the villain?

Pepsi: Are you really gonna deliver free Pepsi to my car? And Cardi B looks weird. But I would like the diamond can.

Planters: A-Rod and Charlie Sheen are pretty funny.

Pringles: same but without A-Rod or Charlie.

SimpliSafe: probably even better than Hyundai "my son bought a snake on the Dark Web."

Sketchers: pleasant enough.

Sprint: pretty funny but their teasers were getting annoying. As is their spokesguy.

Washington Post: I thought it was a local spot. No mention of staffers who have recently been screwed over.

T-Mobile: among the best right up there with Hyundai and Simplisafe but I hear their service sucks.

Toyota: boring, tries to play on my emotions like Google and Kia. Not working.

Turbotax: borders on annoying.

Turkish Airlines:  piqued my interest but I don't plan on flying soon so why?

Verizon: more tearjerkers. This is getting old, but better than the others.

Weathertech: don't think they make bowls for pigs, why the hype for their other food bowls?

Wix: Karlie Kloss is easier on the eyes than the hipster geeks, made me actually consider them. For about a minute.

To see ALL of them, click here: https://www.ispot.tv/events/2019-super-bowl-commercials


janedoe@seductive.com

"IT'S DEVIATIONS FROM THE NORM THAT SELL TICKETS"

Raymond McGuire

Or something like that. He also said "you see a pig with two front legs you don't look at it twice, you see a pig with three front legs, you can't take your eyes off it."

In journalism school they teach you "news is something the public has not heard before." Of course to some people it's news that the sun rises in the East.

My neighbour and I were talking about a guy we know who treats Facebook as his diary "I had my favourite afternoon snack of prune Danish and Oolong tea." And a woman whose posts are worse "I'm on the #42 bus" or "I made meatloaf for dinner." I want to say to both of them "can't either of you eat something more interesting?" Really we should fix them up together. This woman also has a childcare business and posts about the kids she takes care of: "little Johnny burped" or "little Suzy drooled." I wouldn't care if these kids were somehow related to her or even the kids of a close friend but jeez. And she talks about my "negative Nancy" posts. When my father was dying my blog was full of four-letter words. She asked "do you have to use such vulgarity?" My answer was "yes."

I would rather hear about what people hate, what drives them nuts, what scares the bejeezus out of them. I don't care which bus/train/trolley you're on unless an Inuit woman with seven bratty little kids gets on and they're all singing Inuit folk songs.

Another woman told me how draining it was to read my posts. I felt like saying "do you have any idea how draining it is to experience it?"

janedoe@seductive.com

OZZY OSBOURNE HOSPITALIZED WITH THE FLU.

And he's not the only one--it's a bad year for it:

ONE OF MY COUSINS DIED IN A FIRE:

My cousin: See https://t.co/Yb6I4s84gz

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) February 10, 2019

janedoe@seductive.com

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

This is the Chinese year of the (earth) pig. Some people say boar. I have two boars now, had four before that, loved 'em all.

It was also the night of the Steak of the Union address. That's right, Steak. I screened calls. Had I known we were gonna have people in the station I'da come to work looking better. 

You can see me if you look carefully enough: 

Me at work: pic.twitter.com/g8MRIkBTop

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) February 6, 2019

I DREAMT I WAS AT HOHENZOLLERNPLATZ.

One of my exes lived in that neighbourhood when we were in graduate school. I made a half hearted attempt at Googling him but didn't find him.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ARE THE WINNER OF SUPER BOWL LIII.

I didn't get invited to any parties. Really the entire city was pretty dead but I ended up having a pleasant enough evening at Town Tavern. I thought it was an incredibly boring game but it turned out everyone else did, too. People are referring to the LA Rams as the "Lambs" and there are lots of hash tags like #Superbore, #Superbored and #Superboredom. 

Apparently I'm not completely over this bug--I didn't finish the drink in front of me and went home as soon as the game was over. Unfortunately Uber fares tripled and possibly quadrupled or quintupled as soon as the game was over--no one wanted to hang out the rest of the night. I ended up taking a train, then taking a cab home from the train station. It was nice telling the driver EXACTLY how I wanted to go home.

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY!

We like to get out of control, watching a groundhog leaving a hole:





My cousin was married to a girl from Punxsutawney.

TOOK A KIND OF VOCATIONAL GUIDANCE TEST TODAY.

In German it's "Berufsberater vom Arbeitsamt."

MY DAY OFF

Spent most of it at home in bed as it's freezing outside and in my room.

janedoe@seductive.com

AT TWO PM TODAY IT WAS ABOUT 43 DEGREES AND RAINING.

Stuff was already closing down.

NON-MICROSOFT CRAYON

Trying to move from Microsoft Paint crayon to actual  Crayoloa crayons.

janedoe@seductive.com 

I HEARD HELLS FARTO HAS A GRANT PROGRAM FOR SOME HOME BUYERS

Maybe I should look into it. How could it hurt?

janedoe@seductive.com

MOZART MEETS VOLVO OR DOES ART IMITATE LIFE?

Or as Jimmy said on Better Call Saul,  "blow my magic flute." I heard in one version Papageno, the bird catcher, is a chicken delivery boy. 😊

janedoe@seductive.com

IT'S A BAD YEAR FOR THE FLU.

People have actually been dying.

MICROSOFT PAINT

HELP IS ON ITS WAY (MAYBE).

The @Centralunion Mission is providing food 2 govt workers affected by this year's shutdown but also 2 others in need, regardless of where they work and those who don't have jobs at all. Click here if you know someone who needs help: #centralunionmission https://t.co/w0NPWcXW77

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) January 26, 2019

The @Centralunion Mission is providing food 2 govt workers affected by this year's shutdown but also 2 others in need, regardless of where they work and those who don't have jobs at all. Click here if you know someone who needs help: #GovernmentShutdown https://t.co/ZHRUa4UYqL

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) January 26, 2019

MICROSOFT PAINT

janedoe@seductive.com

THE BEST A MAN CAN GET? REALLY?

I wondered what all the hoo-hah was about with the latest Gillette TV spot so I finally watched it:


 

 Their slogan is "the best a man can get" but it could have been better.


A response:


   

Some well-deserved parodies:


 








Fortunately I have never been sexually assaulted but I have been sexually harassed.

And I am a violent crime victim. Like the #metoo movement, Gillette took a good thing but ran with it the wrong way. In short, I won't be buying any Gillette products and won't encourage anyone else to either.

janedoe@seductive.com

MICROSOFT PAINT

So I've started feeling creative again--this time with actual media--crayons, pencils, paint etc. But until then I'm going to make do with Microsoft Paint:

WENT TO A NEW DOCTOR AT THE SAME CLINIC I'VE BEEN GOING TO FOR AT LEAST SIX YEARS.

He asked if there had been any trauma in my life. I had to tell him about the robbery ALL OVER AGAIN. I wanted to say "dude, it's in your file." 

THE CENTRAL UNION MISSION IS GIVING FREE FOOD TO FURLOUGHED GOVERNMENT WORKERS.

So is Z Burger. And they're collecting cash and gift cards for them in Las Vegas.

janedoe@seductive.com

IT'S 13 DEGREES OUTSIDE.

Some schools are scheduled to open late. Yesterday it was about 60 degrees in my room.

TODAY IS MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY.

He had a dream. I stayed in bed the way I do every year--no volunteer work, didn't go to church, etc. However, I was curious about one thing.

I read that Coretta Scott King, his widow, was a supporter of gay rights. This prompted me to wonder what her late husband had ever said about the matter. From what I read online LGBT and anti-LGBT (and lots of other groups) use Dr. King's words to their own advantage just as they would use the bible or any other written work. Web searches show one of his daughters as a proponent of gay rights, like her mother, while another one spoke out against same sex marriage, saying that was not what her father took a bullet for. 

According to PinkNews in 1958 a teenage boy wrote to Dr. King saying he felt the way about boys the way he "ought to feel" about girls. King's response was that these feelings were common and were the result of environment, not heredity. He told the boy to find a good psychiatrist who could help him find out what "[led] to that" and would essentially "cure" him. Years later in elementary school they were still teaching that homosexuality was a disease--it was not removed from the DSM until 1973.

I thought about visiting a museum. The Smithsonian Museum of African American Art was a big deal when it opened. An African American Facebook friend asked if I had gone and I said no. I'm not black. As I am of Northern/Eastern European descent I decided to see if the Smithsonian has a museum dedicated to Northern/Eastern European art and culture. While there are three facilities dedicated to African and African American culture and two dedicated Native Americans there are none focusing on Eastern Europe. The closest are the Freer and Sackler Galleries with Near Eastern and Islamic collections. And there's the Hillwood Museum which is not part of the Smithsonian.  And part of the 2013 Folklife Festival was dedicated to Hungarian heritage. I missed it.

janedoe@seductive.com

LITERALLY ARCTIC TEMPERATURES ACROSS A LOT OF THE COUNTRY.

At least my relief guy showed up on time. Didn't go to Adams Morgan or the Waterfront as planned.

My supervisor has pneumonia.

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR THE WINTER.

Officially. We had our graduation last night. We are supposed to be eligible for a job training program. As Yogi Berra said, I'll believe it when I believe it. I am still way behind due to being so tired.

Today was also the March for Life--didn't go.

janedoe@seductive.com

SAW MY DOCTOR

She told me it's not too late to get a flu shot but I told her the last one I had was as bad as the flu itself--crushing headache and sleeping at least 13 hours. And I got sick anyway. She agreed it's not such a good idea and says next time come in as soon as the symptoms start. 

TALKED TO MY MOM.

I had not talked to her in over a week and did not want to call just to say "hey, I've been sick as a dog and Aunt Margie died." 

Also, we have 13 inches of snow. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

RIP MARJORIE HAUTAMAKI DECKER

My father's twin sister, Marjorie Decker of Westerville, Ohio, died today. She would have been 95 on February 17. Of the four Hautamäki sisters only my Aunt Betty is left.

BACK AT WORK--I HAVE NO CHOICE

DR. HOUSE IS IN THE HOUSE.

FINALLY WENT TO THE CLINIC

Doctor actually told me to stay home. This hasn't happened since I had my gallbladder out. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Thinking of the movie at Play in the Fields of the Lord in which Darryl Hannah Kills off an entire village if not an entire tribe with her cold.

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) January 7, 2019

RUNNING A FEVER OF 101.8

janedoe@seductive.com

TOOK THE PIGS TO THE VET.

Pepino had a good checkup.

SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY AT HOME.

janedoe@seductive.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR!