Friday, April 30, 2010

WEEK 18

An up and down week, started up moodwise and marketwise, ended down the same way, but up weatherwise.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 105 ASSAULT IN ADAMS MORGAN

Around 2:29 AM a woman was assaulted in the Valley Vista Condominium in Adams Morgan. The victim had been drinking with friends at a bar at 18th St and Columbia Rd when she entered the building from the Ashmead Place entrance. She says once she was inside the building he grabbed her from behind, putting his had over her mouth. He fled the building when she screamed.

The victim describes her assailant as bald black man, probably in his thirties, from five foot nine to six feet, medium build. He was wearing a light blue or white shirt and blue jeans. It's not clear whether the man followed her into the building or whether he was already inside
.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

DAY 103

My third day with the federal government. Not sure whether I am all grown up or have become part of the Hitler Youth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY86ADsJvcY

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

DAY 102

I am apparently developing a relationship with DC's Finest. Last night I saw some people smoking dope on 18th St. I was terrfied the cops would think I was smoking, too.

Monday, April 26, 2010

DAY 101

Started a temp job with the Census Bureau.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, April 25, 2010

DAY 100

Wow, 100 days without starving.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Lancaster Intelligencer Journal.

Friday, April 23, 2010

WEEK 17

Mostly lovely weather and a better-than-nothing financial situation. The Dow closed up ever single day this week. People are also less assholish. Not sure weather it’s the weather, the Dow or both.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 98

Saw another dwarf, this time in Georgetown. Ought to call it "Dwarftown."

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, April 22, 2010

JOKE

Nurse: Doctor, do you realize you just wrote that prescription with a thermometer?

Doctor: Shit! Some asshole has my pen!
DAY 97

HAPPY EARTH DAY!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

DAY 96

It just gets weirder. This morning I did a hustled a dwarf. At first I thought she was a little kid and wondered what kind of jerk would bring his child to Adams Morgan at that hour of the morning. But she appreciated it and was not drunk or high, unlike the last dwarf I hustled.

I figured dwarves need my services, too, and dwarf money is as good as any other money (although it was her normal-sized friend who paid) and it’s not as though I tossed her. I would only toss a consenting dwarf – there is nothing worse than a reluctant dwarf, all that screaming and those little arms and legs flailing…


janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

DAY 95

Hot coffee is good with whipped cream on top. I first had it that way in Europe. It doesn't need sugar. And it is so comforting on a cold April morning. Especially when someone treats you.

janedoe@seductive.com

Monday, April 19, 2010

DAY 94

About a week or two a go a guy gave me a dollar because I'm so sexy (his words). I think it was last week a guy gave me five dollars extra because I'm "so beautiful." Last night a guy gave me twenty provided I would leave him alone and go away. Hey, I'll take what I can get.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, April 18, 2010

DAY 93

SMART COOKIE:

Got a cookie fortune that said "you are capable, confident, creative, careful. Prove it."

Saturday, April 17, 2010

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeCjUOs3m84

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAPwyodTkYA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzzwPRiecMA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYGp5shqLZg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQg4wsWaLOw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqblichBkro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz86rFl04v8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyR-L6EZETU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cusEvQBZCu8&feature=related
DAY 92

I HAVE A DREAM

I am at a party with a variety of foods, ham, noodles, etc. Every time I fill my plate and put it down it disappears and the selection of food changes. I refuse to vote for some bill or other in Congress (healthcare related, I think) and some mafia-type guys steal my car, demanding more than 10K to get it back.

Friday, April 16, 2010

WEEK 16

Weather has improved, dogwoods and azaleas are at least two weeks early. This week we had the largest gathering of world leaders in DC since WWII and one person was killed. Also, Goldman Sachs stocks plummeted and there was a volcanic eruption in Iceland. I would like to think my job situation is improving. I am not very nauseous or dizzy, but still tired and my rosacea is flaring up. And I itch. How banal.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 91

A guy I worked with in Munich had a dawg named “Pizza,” so called because they found her in Italy. I wasn’t sure of the dawg’s gender, as in German it is “der Hund.” Pizza’s owner said “he’s very intelligent. He learns everything right away.” I wanted to say “yeah, but he forgets it right away, too.”

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 90

INSTANT ASSHOLE

Just add alcohol.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

DAY 89

ONE DRUNK AT A TIME

That should be my motto.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

DAY 88

Weather has turned itself around 180 degrees, but things seem to be progressing in other areas.

Monday, April 12, 2010

DAY 87

What a day. The Dow closes over 11 thousand, I'm getting a nice tax refund, I got offered a temp job with the Census Bureau and a guy gives me five dollars extra because I'm beautiful (His words, not mine)

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, April 11, 2010

DAY 86

The smell of fried diner food is equal to aromatherapy. Especially at this hour of the night.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Modesto Bee.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1At182Bcy0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M9NF9_P_ZQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSIy4VsL-ps

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSIy4VsL-ps

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECSyaegm1U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbWULu5_nXI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PWv0PgzLoE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=criZzd1dzmc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw6DIa2gFaY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmTGV-RBhlA&feature=related
HOPE

The shrubs surrounding our building are not nearly as badly damaged by the snows as I thought they would be. Some even have little leaves budding. New ones.
DAY 85

Four missing West Virginia miners found dead: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36183425/ns/us_news-life

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and may the perpetual light shine upon them. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of G-d rest in peace. Amen.

Friday, April 09, 2010

WEEK 15

Had a much nicer Easter than I could have expected. Weather has improved, my financial situation not really. Was feeling much better Thursday, then a lot worse Friday. Feeling a LOT better right now.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 84

A LOVE SONG

There is something so comforting about pizza in the middle of the night. There at least three places on 18th St. that are open that late. The pizza has just the right amount of cheese and I love the way the pepperoni grease drips off it. The slices sell for about five or six dollars per, but each one is about the size of half a regular pizza. I like to add garlic, oregano and hot peppers.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, April 08, 2010

DAY 83

HOW BIZARRE

This morning a client told me "my father found a penguin on the beach and rehabilitated it."

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

DAY 82

HOW COULD I FORGET?

Seven years ago yesterday I adopted my first pig and haven't regretted it for a second: http://www.cerridwin.org/jane/pigone.jpg

janedoe@seductive.com

Monday, April 05, 2010

DUKE BEATS BUTLER

61 to 59. Either way I would have been happy. Dad went to Duke, but I went to a little college no one ever heard of, too.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 80

Big day for sports: Donovan McNabb, Tiger Woods, NCAA finals, Nats and White House Easter Egg Roll.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, April 04, 2010

DAY 79

Happy Easter! As I don't own a rabbit, here is a picture of Baby Pandora: http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc224/xmattxyzx/Pignic/IMG_2951.jpg

Friday, April 02, 2010

WEEK 14

Weather is gorgeous, my financial situation WAS improving. In spite of it I am nauseous, tired and dizzy a lot of the time. I hope this years-long Lent will turn into a years-long Easter.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 77

He thought you were worth dying for: http://catholicexchange.com/2010/03/30/127381

Also, I almost forgot Passover. Next year in Jerusalem.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, April 01, 2010