Saturday, December 31, 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

COMPLETED MY CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTIONS AND MAILED OUT ALL BUT ONE OF MY GENERIC WINTER HOLIDAY CARDS.
WEEK
DAY

I have internet after nearly a week without it. Thanks, assholes.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Monday, December 26, 2011

ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN

Today is his feast day: http://catholicexchange.com/2011/12/26/139951
DAY

ROOM AT THE INN:

I am in the lobby of the Hinckley Hilton because I still have no internet at home and slept past Blockbuster's closing time. At least the security guards are treating me like a princess.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, December 22, 2011

DAY 53

Got all my pre-Christmas shopping and mailing done -- it was not nearly as bad as the media made it out to be. Yeah, I know that's not what Christmas is about.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

DAY 52

Money is slow in coming in. Still, that's not what Christmas is about.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

DAY 51

Surprise, surprise. C called in hurt, probably healthier than I am. So I'm working again.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

THE CRUD

I am fighting it. I coughed into the phone while talking to a voice response system and the automated voice said "sorry, we did not recognize that response." Same thing happened about a year ago when I greeted a co-worker who just happened to be walking by.
SANKTA LUCIA

Today is the feast of St. Lucy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk0FyZqNp5Q
HEY, EARTHLINK!

You should not suck. You should do your job. We should not have to have "back up phone" and "back up e-mail." This goes for you, too, AT and T. And Verizon.
DAY 44

Did everything I could to make yesterday a Green Monday.

Monday, December 12, 2011

WHICH IS WORSE?

The people who throw up in the train station or those who walk into it without noticing? I do not wear my beautiful new dress and coat to the bars in Adams Morgan because I do not want to have stuff thrown at me. Or be thrown up on.

janedoe@seductive.com
OUR LADY OF GUADALUPE:

Today is her feast day: http://catholicexchange.com/2011/12/12/114651

janedoe@seductive.com
A QUOTE USABLE FOR MANY THINGS:

"Not even Jeane Dixon can figure out what they do."

Andy Rathbone on Windows 95's Paint drawing tools.

I can say that a lot about some *@#! toolbars/icons

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 43

If I had siblings with children I would be the old maid aunt.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, December 11, 2011

GO NAVY!

Watched the Army-Navy game yesterday. Yum.

BTW, Navy won.
DARN YOU, HOPE

I want chow fun. You are like a crack dealer.
DAY 42

Today is the third Sunday of Advent, known as "Gaudete Sunday." Somehow the priest at the National Shrine didn't give a very convincing sermon as to why we shouldn't be sad when we don't get what we want.
SUNDAY PAPER:

Click here for the Washington Times: http://www.washingtontimes.com

Saturday, December 10, 2011

DAY 41

Saw Septime Webre's Nutcracker Suite at the Warner last night. Sugarplum fairies are overrated. Couldn't help missing the Freudian implications. I should read it in German.

Friday, December 09, 2011

WEEK

Dow closed up over 12 thousand, weather mostly sunny but getting colder. In a few days it will get darker on minute later every day, which is good.

Cold weather makes it hard to get things done -- I come home at night freezing and it takes a lot to get warm, even under the covers. Gas was $3.19/gallon in Linthicum, maybe even lower.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 40

"How far is it to Babylon?"

Robert Louis Stevenson

"How far is it to Linthicum?"

Jane Hautanen

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, December 08, 2011

DAY 39

Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

DAY 37

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

Monday, December 05, 2011

Sunday, December 04, 2011

DAY 35

People and pets are more important than cars. Or computers.

Saturday, December 03, 2011

DAY 34

Herman Cain says he's suspending his run for the White House. Note he didn't say "ending."

Friday, December 02, 2011

WEEK

Dow closed over 12 thousand, weather sunny but chilly. I think I saw gas for $3.31 or $3.32/gallon on Lee Highway in Arlington. Trying to stay healthy.

janedoe@seductive.com
MEN WHO LOVE WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN

There are men who love women who love men
There are women who love women every now and then
There are men who love men because they can't pretend
They are men who love women who love men

http://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=6955

Steve Goodman
DAY 33

Saw Renoir's "Luncheon of the Boating Party" at the Phillips Gallery last night. Haven't seen it since I was about eight or nine years old. Brought tears to my eyes. There's no way it compares to internet images or print reproductions:

janedoe@seductive.com


Thursday, December 01, 2011

A LITTLE LOUDER, PLEASE

"One of the only spectator events outside of a fire that he could hope to understand"

Woody Allen
GOING OUT

On my way to the Sugar Plum party at the Phillips Gallery, hope to make it to McNasty's Grand Opening after that: http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/239492456116360
DAY 32

Today is World AIDS Day: http://www.worldaidsday.org

One of our teachers in massage school was an RN who explained it REALLY well to us.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS?

KFC is the official chicken of the Washington Redskins. And you can get your own Redskins bucket: http://www.kfcredskinsdraft.com

Could also say something about the 'skins' record this season

janedoe@seductive.com
ST. ANDREW

Today is his feast day, replete with novena:

http://www.twoheartsdesign.com/prayers/standrew.html

janedoe@seductive.com
CAPITAL BIKESHARE

They have a new location next to the Metro K Market on Columbia Rd: http://www.capitalbikeshare.com

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 31

Looking forward to the Sugar Plum Party:

http://www.phillipscollection.org/press/press_docs/news_releases/2011/MA_SugarPlumPa5.pdf

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 30
The following went out to Best Buy, UPS and Velocity:

On November 21st I found a refurbished Cruz Tablet on your web site.
I was assured by you it would be every bit as good as a new one.
Wrong. It took eight days for it to arrive -- tracking records show it
spent about six days in the UPS's Laurel, MD office. This is
disgraceful. Even with the holiday and weekend I could have walked to
and from Laurel to pick it up.

After it arrived the display kept on disappearing during the charging.
I called the local Best Buy store and was told the product was
probably defective. I called Cruz's toll-free number in the enclosed
booklet and was told a representative would call me back. No one has
called me and it has been more than 15 hours. I called Best Buy's
toll-free number and was told the wait time would be about 20 minutes.

This morning the tablet stopped working completely. I took it to the
Tenley Circle Best Buy. There was no assets protection person to be
found. The first person I spoke to was a sales associate named
"Othneil." His reply was "what'd you expect from a tablet? What was
it, Pandigital?" When I said "Cruz" his reply was "that's even worse."
Not exactly a good salesperson.

It was several minutes before the Geek Squad person, "Cliff," could
tear himself away from the laptop with which he was fiddling to ask if
he could help me.

"Paul," the manager was equally unsympathetic, but promised to speak
to "Othneil" and UPS.

This entire experience has been most unrewarding. In this time I have
missed all the Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales --
there are no comparably priced tablets available online or in stores.
Had the tablet been delivered earlier I would have at least been able
to find another reasonably priced one at Best Buy or at a
competitor's. Now only the highest-priced ones are left. "Paul," who
manages a major electronics store, admitted he has little knowledge of
tablets and recommended a Xoom or an iPad, neither of which I can
afford. The only positive thing is the fact that my money was refunded
promptly

Fail.

Monday, November 28, 2011

DAY 29

Apparently I was mentioned on-air at WTOP.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, November 27, 2011

OMG!

I was across the street Friday and about a block away 12 hours before: http://www.wjla.com/articles/2011/11/jhonte-coleman-killed-5-others-injured-in-fight-in-dupont-circle-69629.html
DAY 28

Today is the first Sunday of Advent. Hard to believe it, as it's so nice outside.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY

Support Small Businesses in Adams Morgan and everywhere: http://www.ammainstreet.org/images/stories/PDF/business_sbs_specials.pdf
DAY 27

I still get scared when I hear cars backfiring or hear pubble wrap popping. Or kids screaming outside. My Uncle Jim died the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I remember -- I came home from the Thanksgiving parade and my father said "Jimmy's dead."

Friday, November 25, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, but over 11 thousand. Weather mostly sunny, kind of warm. Gas as low as $3.31 at the Liberty station on Lee Highway. Trying to keep my energy levels up.

janedoe@seductive.com
FRIDAY BLACK FRIDAY

Got a $99.00 dress for a little under $38.00.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 26

Thanksgiving is over, now it's Christmas season, even though it's not Advent yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuTHxMjVivg

janedoe@seductive.com

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

DAY 24

"November is the most disagreeable month in the whole year"

Louisa May Alcott

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

ST. CECELIA

Today is the feast of St. Cecelia. We had a Sister Cecile in our elementary school. She was a fucking psycho: http://catholicexchange.com/2011/11/22/96903
MEH

Meh.
DAY 23

President Kennedy was assassinated on this day in 1963.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

DAY 21

A Facebook friend said I want to #OccupyYourHeart. I told him this was not such a good idea, as I have at least two leaky valves.
SUNDAY PAPER

Yeah, I know it's kind of late. Click here for USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/

Saturday, November 19, 2011

HOLY CRAP

A helicopter flew REALLY low over my condo. Made my windows rattle. Reminded me of the earthquake.
DAY 20

Apparently a guy was stabbed around the corner from Amsterdam Falafel on 18th St. in Adams Morgan, two kids were arrested in a supposedly unrelated incident in front of the Black Squirrel and another kid tried to rob me.

Friday, November 18, 2011

WEEK

Dow closed up but still under 12 thousand. Weather mostly sunny but kind of chilly. Gas was between $3.30 and $3.40/gallon at the Sunoco station on Lee Highway. Feeling pretty wiped out a lot of the time, had a check up. Some abnormal heart sounds but nothing new.

janedoe@seductive.com
THANKS, SID

Sid Davis fucked me up for life: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jsjowxTAOw

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 19

We have a waning gibbous moon, 53% of it illuminated. It looks like a lemon wedge--very cool.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, November 17, 2011

ST. ELIZABETH OF HUNGARY

Today is her feast day: http://catholicexchange.com/2011/11/17/96898
DAY 18

Between me and my doctor's tech:

Me: I'm taking a lot of aspirin, so my blood is even thinner.Think of how easy it would be to draw it.

Tech: Don't tease me.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

WEEK

Dow ended up over 12 thousand but dipped below that. Weather is mostly sunny but cooler. I saw gas prices as low as $3.33/gallon at a Sunoco station on Lee Highway in Falls Church. Still pretty tired, I probably need to regulate my sleep schedule more.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 12

Happy Veteran's Day!

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, November 10, 2011

PENN STATE FIRINGS


Penn State fired President Graham Spanier and head football coach Joe Paterno.
DAY 11

Full moon tonight

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

LOIS KLEIN DIES

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/washingtonpost/obituary.aspx?n=lois-e-klein&pid=154524902

janedoe@seductive.com
THE GOLDEN CALF?

"If we refuse Sabbaths of idleness, we construct our own idols."

http://catholicexchange.com/2011/11/09/137641

janedoe@seductive.com
PATERNO TO RETIRE

Joe Paterno says he's retiring. I feel sorry for Penn State and the state of Pennsylvania.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 10

Tyronn Garner was 17 years old. He was shot on Halloween. When I was 17 I was at G's party dressed as Amy Carter.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

DAY 9

The teenager shot on Halloween has died: The teenager shot on Halloween in Georgetown has died: http://www.nbcwashington.com/video/#!/news/local/Teenager-Dies-After-Halloween-Shooting-in-Georgetown/133492408

Sunday, November 06, 2011

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Los Angeles Times: www.latimes.com
DAY 7

PUBLIC SERVANTS ANNOUNCEMENT

Set your clocks back if you haven't already.

Friday, November 04, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, but went up over 12 thousand at least once. Gas was $3.53/gallon at one station in Bethesda. Weather was nice but mostly chilly after a total disaster of a Halloween weekend. Trying to hang in there any way I can.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY 5

This kid was no angel: http://washingtonexaminer.com/local/crime-punishment/2011/11/teen-shot-georgtown-was-ward-city

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

DAY 3

Doctors don't expect the victim to pull through.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

ALL SAINT'S DAY

Today is the Feast of All Saints: http://catholicexchange.com/2011/11/01/79554
DAY 2

Decompressing. A bartender bought me a cup of coffee.

Monday, October 31, 2011

MAN SHOT IN GEORGETOWN

In front of Don Lobo's, near the intersection of 28th and M. A couple minutes earlier and it could have been me.

janedoe@seductive.com
HALLOWEEN

Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

COME HOLY GHOST

I saw some ministry on Newschannel 8 called Holy Ghost Ministries or something like that. It reminds me of what our high school drama director said "you kids look as though you were waiting for the Holy Ghost to enlighten you."
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the New York Times: www.newyorktimes.com

Friday, October 28, 2011

Thursday, October 27, 2011

MORE JOBS TO BE LOST

Clear Channel is expected to cut numerous jobs: http://timeoutchicago.com/arts-culture/chicago-media-blog/14999695/gloom-and-doom-clear-channel%E2%80%99s-dark-future-begins-today

So far two guys were cut at Metro. They were there when I was there.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

HIKE UP YOUR SKIRT

I was beginning to think I was eunuch and that I should just settle until I heard this on my car radio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7in-9E3ImQ

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A QUOTE FROM ALLAN LOUDELL:

"Do you tell anyone else this stuff? How do they react?"

Monday, October 24, 2011

SO BEAUTIFUL YET SO STUPID

"What do you have in your head, anyway," she asked "stones? Shit?"

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, October 23, 2011

GETTING THE PIGS BLESSED

At the Cleveland Park Congregational Church: http://www.cpcchurch.org

Friday, October 21, 2011

THE MIGHTY MACS MOVIE

It opens today. You can see my old room in several shots: http://themightymacs.com

janedoe@seductive.com
WEEK

Dow closed up, over eleven thousand. Gas prices well under $4.00/gallon.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

EDUCATING JANEY

The German title of "Educating Rita" was "Rita will Alles wissen" or "Rita wants to know everything." I want to know everything.


janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Monday, October 17, 2011

I MAY HAVE MADE A NEW FRIEND

And that's a good thing.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, October 16, 2011

HE HAD A DREAM

But how would he feel about his people addressing white women as "raggedy-assed cracker bitch," beating them up and stealing their money?

And crying "racism" instead of just doing their jobs?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

TOOK THREE COMPUTER CLASSES

All of them free. Exhausted now.
HAD MY BIRTHDAY LUNCH

At the Palm.

janedoe@seductive.com

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

WHAT FACEBOOK FRIENDS ARE SAYING ABOUT ME:
"You're a Catholic, Finnish, Kabbalah-following radio masseuse? So interesting! :)"

"Don't forget Mensa member (and former It's Academic contestant), guinea pig rescuer, Apple devotee, and one person who could possibly keep Starbucks in business all on her own. Oh yes, I hear she has an extremely NON-raggedy ass."

Monday, October 10, 2011

BODY FOUND

DC police have found a body in a basement unit in the 2300 block of Ashmead Place.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Friday, October 07, 2011

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Monday, October 03, 2011

WINTRY WEATHER

It's cold and grey outside. Winter is coming. I am making a novena to the Infant of Prague, which speaks of his being and infant, which reminds me of Christmas: http://www.catholictradition.org/Christmas/prague3.htm

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, October 02, 2011

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY!
TODAY IS THE FEAST OF THE GUARDIAN ANGELS

Saturday, October 01, 2011

FRODO

The little shit overslept, said it would take him an hour to get to work. D says he was probably licking his fur.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

MEN ON TELEVISION

After dealing with the pricks I have tonight I understand why women become gay:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF9LZ4mnlmU

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

TEA, EARL GREY, HOT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2IJdfxWtPM

"What a hide-bound couple we must seem, clinging to custom because we did so in England."

Daphne DuMaurier

Friday, September 16, 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

GOT MY HAIR PERMED

Now I look like a giant texel:





"I'M STUPID. I'M TOO STUPID"

"She's even stupider than me, John."

John Hockenberry

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

"GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT"

The Kinks

"Give people what they want, then later you can give them what you want."

“You can't have the figs the first year you plant the G.D. tree”

Ian Holm

janedoe@seductive.com
MORE COPS THAN USUAL

Cop cars, too. Even with September 11th over. I still sense fear.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

WEATHER IMPROVING

As is my mood. And a few other things.

Monday, September 12, 2011

THE NEW BABY

Brought him home yesterday.

janedoe@seductive.com
THOUGHTS ON SEPTEMBER 11TH

1) No one owns September 11th.

2)No one has a monopoly on suffering

3) We have all been affected by, or know someone who was, affected by September 11th in someway. No September 11th one-upmanship. Stop it.

4) We all have our ways of reacting to/dealing with September 11th/Hurricane Irene/The earthquake. No need to get sanctimonious over how others are over/underreacting to any of these events.

5) It was ten years ago, get over it. And if you are having trouble getting over it, GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. Seriously.

janedoe@seductive.com
TODAY IS SEPTEMBER 12TH

Just sayin'

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, September 11, 2011

TODAY IS SEPTEMBER 11TH

But it is also Adams Morgan Day: http://www.adamsmorgandayfestival.com
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington City Paper: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com

Saturday, September 10, 2011

IN THE EVENT OF ANOTHER ATTACK:

My Twitter page: www.twitter.com/snipercatcher
My Facebook page: www.facebook.com/snipercatcher
FRODO

Fucked with his little rodent head just for the hell of it. Now it's him, me and Sunshine. If terrorists attack we will embrace and sing Kum Ba Ya.

Friday, September 09, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, worst of the flooding over, but it's hotter and more humid here than in Alabama. Gas is $3.48 at the Sunoco station on Rockville Pike. Still very tired, having some intense pain, dreams, hope to feel better in about a week.

janedoe@seductive.com
SEEING MEMOS ABOUT POSSIBLE TERRORIST ATTACKS

Not feeling good about this weekend.

janedoe@seductive.com
CAN'T STOP THINKING...

...about the upcoming anniversary Sunday. And the wx doesn't make it any better. At least for the original September 11th we had beautiful wx.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, September 08, 2011

GO AWAY, RAIN, I REALLY MEAN IT

The National Weather Service has issued a flood warning for Frederick, Montgomery, Arlington, Fairfax, Loudon, and Prince William Counties, Fairfax City, Falls Church, Manassas and Manassas Park.
RAIN, RAIN, GO AWAY

It never rains but it pours, literally. Some people in the DC area are being ordered to evacuate their homes.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

NONSTOP RAIN

But we need it. This is the driest summer I remember in years.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

A GOOD BOOK TITLE:

Balls And The Men Who Lack Them.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Friday, September 02, 2011

WEEK

Dow still above eleven thousand, Hurricane Irene not as bad as expected but more rain on the way.

janedoe@seductive.com
FRODO

Came to work and found his little rodent ass buried in his little hobbit hole. Looking at him I remember why I never got married.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY

Picked out the box for Pandora's cremains and filed with the city victim's compensation office.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, September 01, 2011

DAY

"Show business is, a dog-eat-dog. It's worse than dog-eat-dog. It's
dog-doesn't-return-other-dog's-phone-calls, which reminds me. I should
check my answering service."

Woody Allen

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Monday, August 29, 2011

DAY

Big headlines for today -- some people are still cleaning up after the hurricane and some still don't have power.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, August 28, 2011

DAY

Back home with Perpetua.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Evansville Courier and Press: http://www.courierpress.com

Friday, August 26, 2011

WEEK

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

The calm before the storm. As Brian O'Halloran would say, "Damn, that's eerie."

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, August 25, 2011

DAY

We had another aftershock of at least 4.2 this morning. I didn't feel it, not sure if Perpetua did.

Now to get ready for Hurricane Irene.

janedoe@seductive.com

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

DAY

Please copy and paste this to your status if you are always asked to copy and paste something to your status by folks who copy and paste things to their status. Many people won't copy and paste this, but my true friends will copy and paste. Make this your status for one hour. 90% of you will not repost!

Copied and pasted from a friend in need of more stuff to copy and paste.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

DAY

A 5.9 earthquake hit Virginia less than an hour ago. It scared Perpetua but we're okay.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

DAY

Libyan rebels have captured Moamar Quaddafi's son and taken over radio in that country.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Tallahassee Democrat: http://www.tallahassee.com

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Monday, August 15, 2011

DAY

Today is the Feast of the Assumption.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, August 14, 2011

DAY

"At 40 you start to lose your eyesight…
At 50 you start to forget…
At 60 you start to fart and you don’t lose your sense of smell ‘till you’re 70, so those ten years are lonely years."

"I’m 72 fucking years old, I’m playing to drunks and gays"

Joan Rivers

janedoe@seductive.com
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Catholic Standard: http://www.cathstan.org

Saturday, August 13, 2011

DAY

Frodo just burrowed his way ibn. Even D finds him annoying. Which is really saying something.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Sunday, August 07, 2011

DAY

Didn't sleep well today, ended up getting to work just in time.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Wilmington Star-News: http://www.starnewsonline.com

Friday, August 05, 2011

WEEK

Dow up, weather not as murderously hot as last week, gas prices at about $3.68 or 3.69 at the Sunoco station on Rockville Pike. Not feeling coldish, but still tired.

janedoe@seductive.com
TO THE ASSHOLE WHO ATE MY LAST ICE CREAM SANDWICH:

I don't want anyone to burn in hell, but if there were a special place in it you would end up there.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

For the first time in history Standard and Poor reduced the US credit rating from AAA to AA+.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, August 04, 2011

DAY

A couple months ago some told one of the pig people she sucked and then she apologized. Her reply was "I can take them for the team. I do suck."

E said "I've never seen you drunk. If I had to deal with the assholes you do I'd get hammered every night." And she's only met one set of assholes.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

DAY

The robbery was eleven months ago. And this morning a pervert asked me if I would teach him how to give a sexual massage. Ruined my morning.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

TWO BIG THINGS:

1) President Obama signed the debt ceiling bill.

2) The Pigloo is saved.
DAY

"I couldn't help it that I was not retarded."

John Hockenberry

Monday, August 01, 2011

DAY

A man either jumped, fell or was pushed onto the Metro tracks today.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, July 31, 2011

DAY

Trying to catch up on my sleep. It really is healing.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Huntington Herald-Dispatch: http://www.herald-dispatch.com/

Saturday, July 30, 2011

NEW MOON TONIGHT!

My great grandma Christina had all kinds of superstitions. One of them was that it was bad luck to look at a new moon throug glass.
DAY

Entered the pigs in the 2012 Pets of Alexandria Calendar Contest:
http://awla.convio.net/site/TR/Virtual/General?px=1004144&pg=personal&fr_id=1100

Friday, July 29, 2011

WEEK

Dow is down, weather was nice part of the week, but now murderously hot. Gas is about $3.68 or $3.69 at the Sunoco Station on Rockville Pike. Trying to get more rest.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Record heat today -- 104 degrees.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

WORKING AN EXTRA SHIFT

Bravo for life's little surprises.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Yesterday was my last day in the massage studio. Still need to get my stuff out.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

DAY

No one ate my Cream Pops. Either they took my death threat seriously or they don't like the cheapo Giant brand.

Monday, July 25, 2011

DAY

Learned a useful Spanish phrase this morning: "Eso no es justo."

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I LOVE MY CALENDAR PIGS

Enter your pets in the Pets of Alexandria Calendar Contest: http://awla.convio.net/site/TR/Virtual/General?fr_id=1100&pg=entry
DAY

Amy Winehouse died at age 27 this weekend. Cause of death pending.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Asheville Citizen-Times: http://www.citizen-times.com/

Saturday, July 23, 2011

BIRTHDAY KISSES TO ALLAN LOUDELL!

Friday, July 22, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, weather murderously hot, feeling very tired, rosacea flareup, itchy ears, gas is $3.74/gallon at a couple places.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

About 80 people killed in Norway. Norwegians don't do that. I still remember when Olaf Palme was killed, it was such a shock.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, July 21, 2011

DAY

It's hot as heck and everyone's grouchy.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

DAY

A transgendered person was killed in Northeast this morning. One day C came to work in a tie and tails. Mom said "I feel sorry for him, her, it."

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

DAY

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."

Attributed to William Gibson

Monday, July 18, 2011

DAY

Used my Blockbuster goodies to rent Ghandi. Been thinking about "Dalits," or "broken people," also Burakumin and Cagots.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Saturday, July 16, 2011

DAY

Finished my post-Christmas and Easter correspondence.

Friday, July 15, 2011

WEEK

Dow still over 12 thousand, weather hot but not too bad, feeling tired a lot. Gas is $3.60/gallon at the Sunoco station on Rockville Pike, but they’re out of it.

janedoe@seductive.com
HELP SAVE THE PIGLOO!

Pigloo needs your help VERY BADLY. See www.pigloo.net/forums or send your Paypal contribution to chadwpb at gmail.com

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Again, some people’s responses to quotes are funnier or as funny as the original material. A guy refers to Gandhi as “the little lawyer in a diaper” and a woman says “For real? You're insulting Gandhi? That is retarded.” http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090103111405AAfK1ub

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, July 14, 2011

DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS

Rented Dinner for Schmucks. It’s about a contest to see which employee can bring the dorkiest guest to dinner. We have so many potential winners here.
DAY

Bonne Bastille!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

DAY

People are starting to return my e-mails. And my money.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

DAY

Ate a double Whopper and Value Fries, both of which failed to fill me up.

Monday, July 11, 2011

DAY

Took a kabbalah class. One good thing I got from it: "if you stick your finger into an electric socket and get shocked it's not because the socket is angry or is punishing you -- it's just a force." Which is refreshing considering since I was three I was told practically every bad thing that happened to me was punishment because I wasn't a good girl.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, July 10, 2011

ATTENTION EVANGELICAL ASSHOLES:
We were saved first. There was a Roman Catholic, an Eastern Orthodox, an Episcopal and a Lutheran Church before there was a Southern Baptist Church, an Assembly of G-d or a McLean Bible Church. Get the Hell out of Adams Morgan.
DAY

Why is it when you walk around with no pants you run into someone you know?
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Myrtle Beach Sun News: http://www.thesunnews.com

Friday, July 08, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, but still well over 12 thousand, weather mostly nice. Definitely feeling better. Gas was 3.56 at the Sunoco Station on Rockville Pike.
THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU

Rented The Adjustment Bureau. Worth it if you have a coupon for a freebie DVD. It would be interesting to know if everything is predetermined or not. Interesting line from Anthony Mackie "being earlir is as just as bad as being late."

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Betty Ford died. She was very outspoken. Makes me feel kind of old.


janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, July 07, 2011

DAY

"Nothing worse than listening to a dull drunk."

Mary Hautanen

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

DAY

Running out of energy. This happens almost every day.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

DAY

The Fifth of July. Worked last night as usual, thought of past Fourths. I have worked so many of them -- the first was when I was 16 at Burger King. I definitely remember the Fourth of July when I was five in Falls Church -- not sure if I remember any before that.

janedoe@seductive.com

Monday, July 04, 2011

Sunday, July 03, 2011

DAY

Four nosebleeds in four days. A superfecta. Should I go for a Quiniela?
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Macon Telegraph: http://www.macon.com

Saturday, July 02, 2011

RIP SUZANNE KUBOTA

WTOP/Federal News Radio Editor Suzanne Kubota has died after a brief illness.
MORON FRODO

If K was the protector of the Island, Frodo is Ben. He has that same weasel-y personality. R says he probably burrows under the parking garage. As long is the little shit is here on time I don’t care.
DAY

Saturday in the park, I think it was the Second of July.

Friday, July 01, 2011

WEEK

Dow up well over a thousand, gorgeous weather, gas price down to $3.65/gallon at the Westover Liberty Station, two nosebleeds and an eye infection

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Bonne FĂȘte du Canada!


janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

DAY

Didn't make it to the vigil. My doctor's tech didn't realize I'm Catholic. Had to explain How We Do Things to her.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sunday, June 26, 2011

DAY

My summer party dress arrived yesterday. For those of you who have never met me, I am older, whiter and fatter than the Asian nymphet pictured:


janedoe@seductive.com
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Savannah Morning News: http://savannahnow.com

Friday, June 24, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, below twelve thousand, weather kind of humid but nice if you stay in the shade or go out early/late. I got gas for $3.71 or $3.75 at the Westover Liberty Station, I forget how much. I hope to be able to sleep better soon.

janedoe@seductive.com
FRODO

D calls you that and so will I, even though Frodo is generally portrayed as kind of cute.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

"Give me a chance, Louis thought, and I'll understand myself right into the nearest mental asylum"

Stephen King

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, June 23, 2011

ATTENTION NON-NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKERS:

Do you have a lower-than-average IQ? Possess no social skills? If so you may have a great future as a parking lot/garage/front desk attendant or security guard!
DAY

I have a new modem -- don't have to go to Safeway or Mac's in the middle of the night. Woot!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

DAY

Attention, Internet stalkers: lives are available. Go get one.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Monday, June 20, 2011

DAY

I'm at Starbucks because my fucking modem apparently needs replacing.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Thursday, June 16, 2011

WEINER QUITS

CNN reports Anthony Weiner will resign: http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/06/16/weiner.scandal/index.html?hpt=hp_t
DAY

In addition to "mother of the bride" and "maternity" I have found a new category of clothing that might fit me: "Cross dresser." Great.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

"CAVALCADE OF LOSERS"

sounds funny as long as it's not directed at me.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Full moon tonight.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Monday, June 13, 2011

DAY

Bummer about missing the Indigo Girls concert. Would have been a great place to meet men.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, June 12, 2011

DAY

Unhealthy things one can eat fried on a stick:

Bacon
Butter
Chicken
Twinkies
Snickers Bars
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Oreos
Little Debbie Swiss Rolls
Shish Kebabs
Shrimp

Things I ate at Celebrate Fairfax this weekend:

Chocolate soft ice cream with wax dip and Oreo crumbs
Polish Sausage
Fried Oreos
Fried Butter
Fried Bacon (Batter Dipt)
Stufft Pizza

Raspberry Jalapeno Jam (bought a jar to take home)
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Rockford Register Star: http://www.rrstar.com

Friday, June 10, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, below 12 thousand. Weather murderously hot mid-week, record highs. Gas prices actually down below 4.00/gallon in some places. Doing my best to stay healthy, have a doctor’s appointment Tuesday.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Superior Court Judge robbed, fights back: http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/snatch-and-grab-robberies-of-electronic-devices-up-in-metro/2011/06/10/AGNlOUPH_story.html

Wonder if cops are still looking for what was stolen from me.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

DAY

I love the word "Weinergate." And I couldn't help but smile when I walked past the wieners at Shopper's Food Warehouse.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

REFLEXOLOGY TREATMENTS $1.00/MINUTE

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/com/2424566000.html
DAY

P.F. Chang's Orange chicken is enough to put one into a coma.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

DAY

Maybe the reason you don't speak about it is because you haven't heard. Or because it's too painful for you, too.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Biloxi Sun Herald: http://www.sunherald.com

Saturday, June 04, 2011

VINTAGE VIRGINIA

Today and tomorrow: http://www.wmal.com/Article.asp?id=2185906&spid=32949
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY!

"Baby" Pandora is supposedly seven years old today:

DAY

Help a Loyola student and possibly win an iPad: https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=142172

Friday, June 03, 2011

WEEK

Dow down but still above 12 thousand, weather unbearably hot mid-week but cooled down nicely and the sun is out when I leave in the morning. Gas prices supposedly going down but I’m not seeing it. Worked my ass off the part of the week, crashed until mid-week.

janedoe@seductive.com
DRESSED FOR SUCCESS

Since I popped the seams in my black velvet dress at the correspondent's dinner I am looking for a new party dress. All I can find to fit me are plus-size and mother of the bride dresses. The thing is, according to E-bay, the mother of the bride is either a slut or a frump.

My other choice is maternity dresses.

>Sigh<

janedoe@seductive.com
"SPIRITUAL VIOLENCE"

I needed to see this: http://catholicexchange.com/2011/06/03/87066

janedoe@seductive.com
THINGS THAT SUCK:

Wachovia, you suck, truly. Words cannot describe how badly you suck. The same for you, Wells Fargo
DAY

Today is National Doughnut Day

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, June 02, 2011

DAY

Today is Acension Thursday. I completed my Easter Duty with one day to spare:


Wednesday, June 01, 2011

HOT FUN IN THE SUMMER

It's more than 90 degrees outside, but I'm inside with the A/C on and have got some sleep, so I'm feeling a lot better.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Another great comment on Youtube "you mother fucker make me some tacos" http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=MDUIxJJbP00

Ranks up there with "you're a fucktard, never speak again"

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, BABY

Poor "little" Perpetua. We didn't have time to celebrate her birthday on the 22nd, so we're celebrating it today:


DAY

Stupid Questions People Ask:

1) Where do I get tickets to buy food (Um, look behind you, there's a sign saying "Food Vendor Tickets)

2) Do you work for ____? (I'm standing wearing a station T-shirt and a badge that says "staff" and standing in front of the station table)

3) Is 630 WMAL the same as WTOP 15oo AM?

Monday, May 30, 2011

DAY

Happy Memorial Day! Although some people think it's inappropriate to wish anyone "Happy" Memorial Day, that it should be a solemn occasion. Jeez, it's not as though I'm wishing someone Happy Pearl Harbor Day or Happy Kristallnacht.

Some people say this is the beginning of the summer vacation season, not the summer solstice. Some people say Labour Day is the end of summer, not the Autumnal Equinox.

I say stretch the season out as long as possible -- have it begin Memorial Day and End on the Autumnal Equinox

Sunday, May 29, 2011

DAY


How does one hand out promotional weight-loss material without insulting people? The really fat ones who could use it have both hands occupied with food. And should one give painting/window material to homeless-looking people? And graduate school ads to the cerebrally-challenged looking?
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Ann Arbor News: http://www.annarbor.com

Friday, May 27, 2011

WEEK

Weather is improving, Dow up, gas prices supposedly going down but can't see any difference. They say it's been one of the worst allergy seasons in years. At least the rapture didn't happen last week.

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Plugging in the air conditioner would make it work better. The same with the computer.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, May 26, 2011

POLAR OPPOSITES? MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE?

According to the MSN portal, some of the most miserable cities in America are those which have overcome the recession best. Wish they'd make up their minds:

http://powerwall.msnbc.msn.com/politics/the-20-cities-that-are-having-an-awesome-recovery-10112.gallery/?gt1=43001

http://money.bundle.com/article/consumer-spending-10-most-miserable-cities-country/1?GT1=33009

And I don't think I saw Detroit anywhere. That's fucked up.
DAY

Catholic bling. I kid you not: www.catholicbling.com

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

DAY

Pollen count is supposed to be bad -- so I'm not imagining the headaches, muscle-joint pain, etc....

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

DAY

Finally starting to recover from the weekend.

Monday, May 23, 2011

DAY

Worked at 16 hours Saturday, 19 hours yesterday. Need a break.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, May 22, 2011

DAY

"Off we go, into the wild blue yonder, lost again, son of a bitch."

Attributed to Seamus Kennedy

Spent the last two days at Andrews AFB. Loved the displays of weaponry. Phallic as hell.
SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Prince George's County Gazette: http://www.gazette.net/princegeorges

Saturday, May 21, 2011

HMMMM....

Guess the rapture didn’t take place after all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN5rKB-izXI&feature=related
DAY

Supposedly it’s “All Hands on Deck” for the DC Police – they are supposed to be out in full force all weekend. Where were they when I needed them?

janedoe@seductive.com

Friday, May 20, 2011

WEEK

Dow is down, Weather is improving but still seems unseasonably cool, a lot of rain. Gas prices still up, no let up in sight. I am trying to get as much as rest as I can, considering how much I have ahead of me. Also, the world is supposed to come to an end this weekend.

janedoe@seductive.com
IT''S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

And I feel fine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Some people are saying Ted Kaczynski is also responsible for the 1982 Tylenol deaths. Wow, too blasts from the past.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, May 19, 2011

DAY

IMF Leader Dominique Strauss-Kahn resigned.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

DAY

HIGH ANXIETY


May is National Anxiety Month. Who Knew? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sagm8jQqOvk&feature=related

It was through High Anxiety that I first learned about penis Envy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKTsP_pNng4

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

DAY

I seem to be using the word "dick" a lot recently. As in "breath," "head," "wad" and "weed."

Monday, May 16, 2011

DAY

Baby steps. That's all I can manage today.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, May 15, 2011

DAY

Today is Good Shepherd Sunday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQIdKb8aRTY

"The lord is my shepherd, so flock off"

Saturday, May 14, 2011

MY NEWEST YOUTUBE VIDEO:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63nHQ4sLQaA
DAY
"The stationmaster at St. Cloud's was a lonely, unattractive man-a victim of mail-order catalogues and of an especially crackpot mail-order religion. The; latter, whose publication took an almost comic book form, was delivered monthly; the last month's issue, for example, had a cover illustration of a skeleton in soldier's clothes flying on a winged zebra over a battlefield that vaguely resembled the trenches of World War I. The other mailorder catalogues were of a more standard variety, but the stationmaster was such a victim of his superstitions that his dreams frequently confused the images of his mailorder religious material with the household gadgets, nursing bras, folding chairs, and giant zucchinis he saw advertised in the catalogues.

Thus it was not unusual for him to be awakened in a night terror by a vision of coffins levitating from a picture-perfect garden-the prize-winning vegetables taking flight with the corpses. There was one catalogue devoted entirely to fishing equipment; the stationmaster's cadavers were often seen, in waders or carrying rods and nets; and then there were the undergarment catalogues, advertising bras and girdles. The flying dead in bras and girdles especially frightened the stationmaster."

John Irving, The Cider House Rules

Friday, May 13, 2011

WEEK

Dow down, but still well over 23 thousand. Gas prices going up, but supposed to go down soon. Right. Weather improving but suppossed to get worse over the weekend -- at least it's light when I leave in the morning. Fighting what is either an allergy or a bug or both .

janedoe@seductive.com
DAY

Best response ever on Youtube. Or perhaps anywhere on the Internet "you're a fucktard. Never speak again" http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?threaded=1&v=PMV1IwYYSpg

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, May 12, 2011

DAY

Twitter is fucked up again/still and I didn't sleep well last night.

janedoe@seductive.com

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

DAY

Twitter is fucked up and has been since at least yesterday.


janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

DAY

Beautiful wx, market up, pigs eating at home, the smell of fresh-cut grass. It don't get no better than this.

Monday, May 09, 2011

DAY

If public transportation is so wonderful why do the people riding it look so miserable?

janedoe@seductive.com