Monday, December 28, 2015

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY!

My beautiful Patapsco is four years old  today.  Darling, I would tell you how much I love you but I think you know that already: 


janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, December 26, 2015

BEEN READING OTHER PEOPLE'S POST-CHRISTMAS POSTS

REMEMBER THE ANIMAL WELFARE LEAGUE OF ALEXANDRIA

DON'T FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS AT ALL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmZBC92pgrE

NO ROOM AT THE INN

Or the Shelter. I hear the Loudoun County Shelter has a sudden influx of animals they're GIVING away from another shelter: http://www.hslcva.org/find_a_friend0.aspx

OVERDONE SUGAR PLUM?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH0Qx0oHEVg

Happy Kwanzaa!

BITE BACK!

Support http://byteback.org/get-involved

HALLELUJAH!

I realize I am too old to be amused by this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9XzrDltKgI

THINK OF ALL THE FUN I'VE MISSED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ycWObpi73Y

A VERY BEAVIS CHRISTMAS

See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjsKs1N3JPI

BANNED IN BOSTON

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsat4e8jgHA

SUPPORT THE BALTIMORE HUMANE SOCIETY

From whence cometh my beautiful Patapsco: https://bmorehumane.org/donate

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Streets of Fire

No Christmas plans?

Join us! says no plans? Join us: http://www.meetup.com/HowAboutADate-DC/events/227367810/
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jGoW6157HPg
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A

G-d bless us each and every one

MANAGED TO GET TO CONFESSION AND COMMUNION WITHOUT SINNING

Ok, the priest took so long hearing our confessions I went directly to mass which was already in progress.

Mean girls

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h81UOjlFmMs

SUPPORT THE FAIRFAX COUNTY ANIMAL SHELTER

From whence cameth my baby Pepino: http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/animalshelter

CHRISTMAS IS THE TIME TO SAY I LOVE YOU

Wonder what all these people are doing now? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPf2snTB2wo

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

PATAPSCO IS SO FUNNY

The other afternoon I was lying on the couch and I said "Vladimir Zhirinovsky" out loud. Patapsco rumbled. I thought it was a coincidence so I said it a couple times and he rumbled every time. 

I'm wondering if it's a political thing or if he just likes or dislikes the name. Or my accent. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

THERE'S STILL TIME

To donate to the Angel Tree Project: https://www.prisonfellowship.org/temp/2015tl/2015-atc/?sc=WB1618001

janedoe@seductive.com

DANCE WITH INTENCITY

Vivaldi's Winter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaipQV_lHwc&index=40&list=FLoSl0nyM0kfJVzSsiRUj3dg

janedoe@seductive.com

I ALMOST FORGOT

Today is Festivus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8rzt-vj2gU

janedoe@seductive.com

A WORTHWHILE CAUSE

The Metropolitan Guinea Pig Rescue: http://mgpr.org/newsite/Donate/Donate.htm

O TANNENBAUM

Or Feliz Navidad? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FjGQ8oD0qAk

BUTTON UP YOUR OVERCOAT

When the wind is free: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UliCMEdTFE

Actually there's not wind, just damp. 

janedoe@seductive.com

A WORTHY CAUSE

From whence cameth "little" Perpetua and Pepsi: http://www.mchumane.org/support/donate-funds

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

THEY'RE CUTTIN' DOWN TREES

They're putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAK9Pj5-QXY

SOME PEOPLE HAVE WAY TOO LITTLE TO DO.

Is it a bad thing that I am familiar with so many bathrooms in Adams Morgan? http://www.fox5dc.com/news/local-news/58779533-story

THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY

When I come home in the morning and it’s pitch dark I like to fantasize that I’m in an Ingmar Bergman film. It helps me cope: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlAHCGUKFjE

And https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds2D0C2TWgI

And then there's Sommaren Med Dennis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C77zhAfJ7DA

Monday, December 21, 2015

I HOPE THIS IS TRUE


janedoe@seductive.com

MY CHRIS-STRESS LIST

Or maybe we should call it "Stressmas?"

1) Plan Confession--my church or the National Shrine? 
2) Plan mass--hopefully vigil at my church and hopefully won't sin between confession and mass.
3) Pray that all cards, gifts etc are delivered by Christmas. I tried
4) Pray the cheque I deposited clears by tomorrow
5) Work schedule--everything is nailed down but can't be too sure.
6) What to wear to mass, work, dinner, movies? 
7) Which Meetup to have dinner with? Would rather go to the one at Tony Cheng's but Bistro Fran├žais is probably cheaper and closer to work. Bistro Fran├žais, why the heck don't you post your menu prices online? And do I get dinner or just drinks and dessert? What Chinese places are open Christmas Day? 
8) Which movie to see? Not sure I want to see the new Star Wars movie. I know. And Loew's, why don't you have your Christmas Day schedule up? 

janedoe@seductive.com

Lots of pre-Christmas stress not related to Jesus

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, December 20, 2015

WHEN I WORKED AT IHOP A CUSTOMER ASKED WHAT SCRAPPLE WAS

I said "don't eat it--it's disgusting." That was before I took a marketing class.

TRENDING ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER

#explainafilmplotbadly

Some of these are mine, most come from Facebook or Twitter: 


1) Titanic: Poor young man meets a beautiful rich woman on a boat trip.
2 2) Any Harry Potter movie: A white child is told he is special. Then he goes to private school
3 3) The Wizard of Oz: American invades foreign land, kills local leadership, struggles to find exit             strategy.
4 4) The Fight Club: I’m not supposed to talk about it. 
5 5) The Martian: US government spends lots of money and resources on retrieving Matt Damon (seems   to be a recurring thing with Matt)
6 6)  Any Lord of the Rings movie: One piece of jewelry—a whole bunch of short people
7 7) Inception: Leonardo Dicaprio finds out he can't even win an Oscar in his dreams. Again, a recurring   thing. 
8 8) The Hunger Games and sequels: Older sister ruins her younger sister’s chance to be on a televised       game show
9 9) Spiderman: A young man forcibly binds other men and photographs them for money
110)  Pulp Fiction: A conversation about hamburgers leads to violence
111)  Batman: After losing his parents at a young age billionaire dresses as a flying rodent
112)  Top Gun: Scientologist takes up the challenge of becoming the Navy's best pilot

THIS IS SO TRUE


TODAY IS THE FOURTH SUNDAY OF ADVENT

I had forgotten this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWCISA8MOnU

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

TODAY IS NATIONAL CUPCAKE DAY

TO THE KID WHO YELLED "#@*!ING GRANDMA" AT ME

 Is the a reason for that? To the cop who tried to make me feel better by telling me I look nice tonight: Thank you. And to the lady who gave me her seat on the train while I was holding onto the grab bar for dear life: Thank you.

I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE THIS

To lose your mother and fiance while you were giving birth: http://www.mail.com/news/us/4015550-crash-kills-2-man-was-driving-to-birth-child.html#.7518-stage-hero1-2

ST. CHRISTINA THE ASTONISHING

See St. Christina the Astonishing

Saturday, December 12, 2015

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

I remember the first time I heard this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

I was an intern at WPST in Trenton and my boss, Tom Taylor showed me the record (that's what we called them then) and said "let's go listen to this." It was really special, like going downtown with Daddy. Tom was one of those great bosses, like Patrick. Or the late Big Al Shapiro. 

IT'S A REAL GENTLEMAN WHO WILL PROTECT YOU FROM PROJECTILE VOMIT

There are so few of them left. 

R SAYS THE REASON SHE DRINKS SO MUCH IS BECAUSE SHE WAS RAPED

And she was raped years before I was robbed. 

FRANK SINATRA WOULD HAVE BEEN 100 YEARS OLD TODAY

I was twelve years old when I read The Godfather. I asked my father who Johnny Fontane was and he said "Frank Sinatra, but no one was able to prove it:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zSgjc6iwLQ

I FEEL AS THOUGH I'VE GIVEN BIRTH

Updated my resume: http://janesresume.blogspot.com

The broadcast-only version: http://broadcastresume.blogspot.com 

"GIVE ME A FISH AND I EAT FOR A DAY"

"Teach me to fish and I eat for a lifetime." But what if there are no fish in the pond? Or only minnows that you can't possibly live on? And if no one will tell you where to find a pond with fish in it? Or give you a ride to the pond? 

SOMETIMES IT'S JUST A MATTER OF FAITH

See http://catholicexchange.com/the-grace-to-remain-catholic

BOUNCY, BOUNCY

The Board Room on Connecticut Avenue is looking for bouncers. 

WHAT GOOD IS IT?

Mortgage rates are at (or near) an all-time low and gas prices are lower than they have been in years. Unfortunately, I don't earn enough to buy a condo or even refinance the one I have and I can't even afford a used car, so what good does that do? 

A WISE MAN I USED TO WORK FOR USED TO SAY "DON'T TAKE THE BAIT"

No matter how tempting that might be. 

GO ARMY? ANCHORS AWEIGH?

The Army-Navy game takes place this afternoon. I remember at least one of their post-game dances. S says Catholic girls make the best dates. 

THE CAB RIDE TO WORK

1)      Cab driver asks “how are you?” I answer “tired/stressed out. Don’t feel like talking.” At least he respects that.
2)      We end up going behind a cop car who is going about three MPH.

3)      Twice we end up at intersections in which he HAS to turn right or left but he still asks “straight?” I tell him “Right, please. If you go straight you will hit a wall." Is he not very bright or what?  

Friday, December 11, 2015

I DID NOT KNOW THIS

I thought fewer young people were going to church: http://catholicexchange.com/why-do-so-many-millennials-become-catholic

janedoe@seductive.com

SAW MY SHADOW

Four more weeks on crutches. Here is a picture of one of the Washington Hospital Center's Christmas trees: 

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, December 03, 2015

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. FRANCIS XAVIER

Patron of foreign missions, among other things: http://catholicexchange.com/st-francis-xavier-fearless-missionary-for-christ

JOURNALISM IN AMERICA HAS GONE TO THE DOGS


That's Andrea McCarren from WUSA-TV with service dog in training Bunce, photograph by Jeffrey Cridland. He is named in honour of Marine Corporal Justin Bunce. When Bunce graduates he will be a service dog for a wounded veteran. 

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

C SAYS THERE IS SOME HENNY YOUNGMAN IN ME

I would think more Jack Benny, as I saw him a couple months before he died. Or maybe Marilyn Monroe. 

I am down at least 25 pounds in the past three years.

OMG, THIS IS HYSTERICAL

This guy may think he's funny, if he exists, but his boss is even funnier: 


See http://weknowmemes.com/2014/06/shane-a-walmart-deli-worker-causes-a-lot-of-trouble-for-management-13-pics 

TODAY IS GIVING TUESDAY

Here are three of my favourite causes, in alphabetical order: http://alexandriaanimals.org

and https://bmorehumane.org/donate/?gclid=CLbyuqjKvMkCFcGRHwod1JYPCw

and http://byteback.org/donate

and http://www.caringforothersltd.org

and https://support.catholiccharitiesusa.org/p/salsa/donation/common/public/?donate_page_KEY=9113&iq_id=69647056-VQ6-81389143467-VQ16-c

and http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/animalshelter

and http://www.mgpr.org 

and http://www.mchumane.org/support

THE TOECRACKER SUITE

This poster is all over the DC Metro. Not sure which makes me want to hurt more, that the woman is doing a split or pointing her toes (which I can't do too well). And I'll probably be on crutches at least another week, as the surgeon's office called to cancel this morning: