Saturday, January 31, 2015

DOWNTON ABBEY

In the past year I’ve become really hooked on it. Matthew is quite dead and has been for a while, and two of the characters to whom I can mostly relate are two most affected by his death, other than his mother, Isobel, who is kind of nice to but too liberal for my taste.

Mary: didn’t love him at first, found out she was incredibly happy with him. Didn’t want a meal ticket before or after him, intended to be “as happy with her second husband as she was with her first.” Sound familiar?

And Molseley.  He got fucked over. Wanted to be a teacher but didn’t have the money for school, ended up as a footman, then Matthew’s valet, and as his father said, had the possibility of becoming the butler at Downton. Matthew dies, and Molesley is out of a job through his no fault of his own. He certainly didn’t kill Matthew. Ends up in debt and doing jobs which are beneath him and sabotaged by Spratt, who is an asshole. The latest, though, he's become first footman by default and decided it's too much for him. That's kind of disappointing. 

And then there’s Daisy. In the fifth season she takes an accounting class and is terrified by it, much the way I was. I guess she had shitty experiences with math when she was a kid, too.  So it’s Sarah to the rescue. Sarah is self-righteous and abrasive, but she does a great job in telling Daisy that numbers are her friends. Then Daisy starts reading about the Glorious Revolution and talks about the possibilities beyond being undercook at Downton for the rest of her life. Wonder if her education brings her beyond work a chimpanzee could do? The attitude of the servants amuses me somewhat,too. They refer disparagingly to "a woman from the village." Okay, they work in a "great house," but for heaven's sake they pour tea for rich people and polish their shoes. And that's so superior to people "from the village?"

And Elizabeth McGovern as Lady Cora. She was such an annoying little twit when she was younger, but she did grow up to be a great lady. 

It will be interesting to see who watches the Superbowl instead tomorrow night. 

I dreamt about you when I was taking a nap.

Not sure if either of us said anything. 

EXCESS BAGGAGE?

See http://institute.catholicmatch.com/2015/01/dating-over-50-3-tips-to-help-you-find-a-great-relationship

Although R put it well when he said  "That doesn't sounds like baggage. That sounds like an overnight bag."

THE GREAT, AND LESSER, DEPRESSION


"Reddit" sounds like something a frog would say

MY PIGS SING THIS SONG ALL THE TIME:


I AM HEARING A LOT OF COUGHS

I feel as though I were living in a cough syrup commercial.

And speaking of cough syrup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSNqmVBsEA4

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. JOHN BOSCO

See http://catholicexchange.com/st-john-bosco-conquering-souls-christ

Thursday, January 29, 2015

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much"

William Shakespeare and Mary Hautanen

Fucking Autocorrect

See https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bgNUwAw7J6k

ANOTHER REASON I NEVER GOT MARRIED

They say the greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother. I also think the greatest gift a woman can give to her children is to love their father. I am looking for more than a meal ticket or a sperm donor. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME


ALL OF US NEED PRAYERS

But some need more prayers than others: http://catholicexchange.com/the-care-and-feeding-of-poor-souls

COMING SOON TO A BOOKSTORE NEAR YOU:

See http://www.amazon.com/Paul-Brandus/e/B00QC9V9IU

HAVEN'T WEIGHED MYSELF IN A COUPLE DAYS.

Don't think I'm  gaining. If I don's succeed, maybe I could consider a career as a bouncer. 

I hope this is true


A gynecologist is probably not the person to ask about URI's/allergies. Oh, well

WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH ON SO MANY LEVELS

See http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2015/01/08/romance-roadblocks-dating-making-angry/?lcid=107457&laid=Links#.VMdJKyzDIwA

NOTHING LIKE THE SMELL OF UNWASHED BODY PARTS

Especially on a crowded bus.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Saturday, January 24, 2015

A KINDER, GENTLER ADAMS MORGAN

A cop asks a roughed-up bouncer if he needs a hug.

KEEP CALM....


LESSER EVIL

I guess "Crazy Charlie" is better than "Stupid Charlie."

DO YOU THINK I'M CREEPY?

What's wrong with this picture?


Hint: The woman in white

JOB WANTED

To my bar-restaurant owning/managing friends: do any of you have jobs available? If so, please let me know. Call 202-518-2895 or email janedoe@seductive.com

BIZARRE:



"I agree with everybody but then I am X___ and have orange hair and tragedies I linger on about on rare occasions."

I CAN IDENTIFY WITH JONAH

And the whale, too. Except the thing in the picture doesn't look like a whale: http://catholicexchange.com/jonah-gods-reluctant-messenger

If you want to gather honey...

...don't kick over the beehive.

Abraham Lincoln.

DIVINE INTIMACY RADIO

See http://catholicexchange.com/divine-intimacy-radio-coming

THERE'S NO SECRET TO LIVING

Just keep on walking: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TSH6OmO-Dw

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

CLEVER ELSE (DIE KLUGE ELSE)

Even when I was a kid I thought this story was stupid: http://whisperingbooks.com/Show_Page/?book=Fairy_Tales_From_The_Brothers_Grimm&story=Clever_Else

This is not your father's....

Sometime things work out when you try them several years later, after several attempts. 

janedoe@seductive.com

BLESS THIS HOUSE

Or this booth. The air quality in here is terrible and I am coughing like one of House's patients, but at least I am not hacking up blood: http://imgur.com/lcusSFV

Here is a simpler version: http://imgur.com/gallery/lfgwN

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

VARIATION ON STING


THE FUNSHINE STATE

We can always depend on Florida for weirdo news stories. Or England: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/16/paul-bennett-sex-postbox_n_6487290.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

BUZZ OFF

"Men must not turn into bees who kill themselves in stinging others.”

Jonathan Swift

PLEASE HELP THESE PIGS! (AND OTHER ANIMALS)

See http://fox8.com/2015/01/20/1000-rabbits-guinea-pigs-mice-rescued-from-wayne-county-pet-store

and https://www.facebook.com/WayneCountyHumaneSociety

Sometimes the worst thing that could happen is someone could say no.

I did not see the moonwalking bear the first time.

See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47LCLoidJh4&app=desktop

Today is the feast of St. Sebastian

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Sebastian

Apparently there's no such thing as a Seahawk

See  http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/14-fun-facts-about-sea-hawks-180949528/

THIS IS ME



And then there's these: 


and

Monday, January 19, 2015

PICK A FAITH, ANY FAITH


janedoe@seductive.com

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST CANUTE

See http://catholicexchange.com/st-canute-king-of-denmark

janedoe@seductive.com

WASHED MY REDSKINS T

And my Steelers T. And my Pens T. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Even more from Angels and Affirmations




He had a dream


As usual, I spent his birthday doing almost nothing. If there is ever a Jane Hautanen Day, people will not be required to go to church, pray, meditate, do community service etc. For all I care, they can go to the beach, to the mall, eat, drink, have sex, all of the above or none of the above. 

On a different note, though I suddenly have become free of something, and expect to be even more free soon. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, January 17, 2015

SIGNS

No, not the M. Night Shyamalan or the song by the Five Man Electrical Band/Tesla. 

I made two signs for a co-worker, on saying "Je suis Charlie," the other saying "Je suis Juif." It is appropriate on both counts as his name is Charlie and he's a Jew.  

I should have my own TV show, "Breaking Bored."

FORGIVENESS

"Not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and expecting the rats to die."
Anne Lamott

See http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/How_to_forgive

I FIND THIS COMFORTING AS I WORK MOSTLY AT NIGHT

See http://catholicexchange.com/listening-god-night

HEY, KOUACHI BROTHERS:

I had never heard of Charlie Hebdo until you assholes went and killed 12 people there. Now I Google it constantly—I would never have before. And a pleasant surprise—their artwork reminded me of that of the late Jean Marc Reiser, who died in 1983. Sure enough I Googled him and he worked there, too. It gives me so much pleasure to see his work again. You have only created more demand for the magazine, which probably wasn’t your intention. So thanks for at least one good thing: http://www.slate.fr/story/96703/charlie-hebdo-enterrement-tous

THE WAY WE BORE

That's what MAD magazine called The Way We Were. Yeah, I know I've dredged it up before, but I can relate to the way  Katie felt about Hubbell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjGCRhWJsc8

Friday, January 16, 2015

TOOLS

"Tools" seems to be a catchphrase in self-help world now. I like the line from Anger Management. It was something like "use your tools." "I'll use them to bury your body.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, SO FLOCK OFF

Catholic Exchange recommends reciting the 23rd Psalm as a way to overcome loneliness. I like the King James version better: http://catholicexchange.com/overcoming-lonliness

I don't speak your name to others but it doesn't mean I don't think of you.

"JACKIE" NEEDS HELP

Rape is indeed a horrible thing. Even as a violent crime victim I can only imagine how awful it is. If "Jackie" was actually gang raped as she claims, she definitely needs help, which she didn't get in the first place. And if she is making it up, she needs help, too: http://www.newsleader.com/story/news/local/2015/01/12/police-find-proof-rape-uva-frat/21638935/

All is forgiven

See http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2015/01/12/hayat-boumeddiene-amedy-couilbaly-paris-terror-attacks/21621219 #jesuischarlie

Some people are WAY too sensitive.

Just sayin.'

MASS APPEAL

See http://catholicexchange.com/when-to-stay-home-from-mass

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Just Saw The Interview

It could have been worse, probably could have been better, too. No one blew up the Town Tavern while I was in it (that's where I saw it, didn't pay).

GOT A FRIEND REQUEST FROM AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CLASSMATE

She was sweet, I accepted and am glad she seems to be doing okay—I don’t think she had the best life as a kid, but jeez, some of her friends :P

Here is a post written by another REAL friend last summer: 

Bullying is top of mind since kids are going back to school. Just a quick story about my experience with it.

"I was bullied because I was a heavy kid. I was bullied because I was talented and confident in those talents. They threw rocks at me as I walked to my Father's shop after school.

I was bullied because I liked the same boy one of the 'mean girls' liked. I was cornered under stairwells and surrounded by girls almost every day for the first 4 months of High School. They yelled profanities at me and called me names. I remember every single one of them. When I came to school with a steak knife (NEVER THE RIGHT CHOICE) to frighten them off, they went from one particular label to calling me 'psycho.'

If you think the effects of bullying ends with High School, think again. 25 years later, I still seethe at the sight of their names on Facebook and no…I will never be their 'friend.'

Please teach your children to embrace differences and spread words of kindness at every opportunity."

 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Memories...

may be beautiful and yet, what's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNEcQS4tXgQ

ONE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY PENIS COSIES

Or rat sweaters, I guess: http://the-toast.net/2015/01/09/things-can-find-knitting-patterns

GOING TO THE DOGS

An article on the Animal Welfare League of Alexandria, from which cameth my beloved Pippin and baby Pandora: http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/2015/01/05/meat-farm-dogs-rescued-coming-to-dc-va/21277791 

The subject of someone else's "humour" should be the one to decide whether or not it's funny.

JE NE SUIS PAS JUIF

I am not hashtagging anything #jesuisjuif. But I am also not hashtagging anything #jesuisunhomme, #jesuisnoir or #jesuischinoise either, because I am none of those.
I am also not Spartacus or Malcolm X and I am not a Berliner. And by the way, to be grammatically correct, it should be "ich bin Berliner." What JFK said literally was "I am a doughnut."
 

INTERESTING

See Http://natureworksbest.com/naturopathy-works/food-cravings

And while we're on the subject of thirst: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXGFo2WI2aw


KEEP HATIN'

I'm just gonna keep postin':

 

All this self-help is killing me.

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Freaks on a train

Is there any culture in which it's acceptable to pick one's nose?

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

This is fucking weird

Reptile Shop Owner Hit Employees With Bearded Dragon Lizard: http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Reptile-Shop-Owner-Hit-Employees-With-Bearded-Dragon-Lizard-BSO-287535551.html

I SAW A FAT PIGEON.

It was by itself and it was cold so I gave it some of my doughnut. Then Another one showed up.

It's cold. Darn cold

It snowed. Most of the power is out in DuPont Circle and I hear it's colder in Minnesota than Antarctica.

Sunday, January 04, 2015

ADOPT THESE PIGS!

These two girls live near Philadelphia, but a friend is willing to transport them and their belongings to another state. Call 202-213-4402 or email janedoe@post.com


Saturday, January 03, 2015

I WILL SURVIVE

I like the picture and the sentiment but not necessarily the verse: http://amazingness.com/blog/2012/07/23/i-will-survive :


CONVERSATION STARTERS

It's amazing how many of my conversations begin with "you wouldn't believe..."

FOR ASSHOLES WHO ACCUSE US OF IDOL WORSHIP

See For people who are misinformed about Catholics:

SWEET TRANSVESTITE

Got a notice about a transgender meetup and didn't go for two reasons:

1) It was in Baltimore

2) I probably wouldn't look as good as some of the trannies.

Friday, January 02, 2015

My New Year's Resolutions

1) To earn/save more money
2) To get more rest
3) To get my condo ready for sale