Saturday, February 28, 2015

I'M TOLD IT'S NOT BAD

See http://www.fiftyshadeswine.com/?gclid=CPml6a_OhsQCFTQV7Aod8QMAuQ

NOT A BAD IDEA

See: http://catholicexchange.com/lent-kids

GOT A MESSAGE FROM A GUY WHO TALKED LIKE YODA

Shit I told him to eat.

NO RESPECT

Rodney truly brought the light: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=738VLg7JJ2k

SHORT SHRIMP

Boo. No shrimp in my Nissin Cup Noodles Shrimp Soup. 

WOW. NOT ONLY AM I GOOD...

...I'm outstanding.

YEAH...

SOUNDS LIKE TONS OF FUN

People who do nothing but bitch and moan about how much they hate where they are. Although if there had been a "marooned in Gainesville" or "marooned in Florida," period, meetup, I'da joined in a heartbeat: http://www.meetup.com/Marooned-In-DC/?gj=ej1b&a=wg2.1_grpn

THIS GUY MUST BE REFORM

See http://time.com/3726560/pot-dispensing-rabbi-d-c-residents-deserve-legal-access-to-marijuana

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

"IT'S NOT A PURE SCIENCE"

Lily Tomlin

JOB FAIRS ARE A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME

Some of them have vendors who aren't even hiring immediately. And some of the people there are hostile because they don't want to be there and don't get paid extra for their trouble. Others aren't even recruiters--they are either schools or resume services or stuff like that. And some aren't even local--others advertise jobs that are entry-level or extremely specialized. 

 And what's worse, I went to one last week and was told to go to another one today for one of the vendors. I could just as easily have applied online, although some online application processes are a hellish experience on their own.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

AND I THOUGHT I HAD PROBLEMS

See http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/02/dear_prudence_my_husband_s_friend_drew_a_penis_on_our_wedding_guestbook.html

PRAYER REQUEST

I don’t normally ask for prayers, etc, but an opportunity may come to me very soon—if it does, great, if it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be. Whatever the outcome it will involve some major decisions—please send prayers, good thoughts, positive energy etc. Thanks so much!

PORK ROLL

It's not just for breakfast anymore. 

I WONDER WHICH IS WORSE--

The fact that DC people can't drive in snow or the fact that outsiders constantly complain about it. I wish they would all shut the fuck up.

I am happy that my posts make dying people happy.

I realize the phrase "sucking on a Fisherman's Friend" sounds dirty.

SHOPPING MAULED

See http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/capitalbusiness/the-fall--and-overhaul--of-the-american-mall/2015/01/30/cf9f05f4-a650-11e4-a7c2-03d37af98440_story.html?tid=sm_fb

and http://deadmalls.com

HELP CRITTER CAMP!

See  https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/critter-camp-exotic-pet-sanctuary-s-new-facility-1

MORON LENT

See http://catholicexchange.com/ten-tips-best-lent-2

I am on an Albuterol-bergamot-eucalyptus high

CAME TO WORK WEARING THREE LAYERS OF CLOTHING

Five if you count underwear and coat. 

Friday, February 20, 2015

NO MEAT, NO BOOZE

I am a cheap date but not fun. 

IN HELL THEY MAKE YOU OPEN AN ACCOUNT

No, it's "create" an account. What the heck do they mean by "creating?" It's not a work of art, for heaven's sake. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Bless Us Oh, Lord and this thy sandwich which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord Amen

KALORAMA PARK




janedoe@seductive.com

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THESE ARE KOSHER

And you can eat them on Ash Wednesday or any Friday during Lent: http://m.lance.com/index.php/snackdetails/index?title=bolds-bacon-cheddar&category=14#.VOckgtLF_79

janedoe@seductive.com

HELP THESE PIGS!

See http://animalwelfaresociety.org

janedoe@seductive.com

I JUST THINK THIS IS PRETTY

Cat on a skylight: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/12/cat-on-the-skylight-is-a-true-delight_n_6671092.html

janedoe@seductive.com

The first Friday of Lent sucks because just two days after Ash Wednesday we have to go without meat again.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, February 19, 2015

GUNG HEE FAT CHOY

Happy Chinese Year of the Sheep! Perverts will love it.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

DAMN!

The 7-11 on Wyoming Avenue doesn't sell bean burritos.

REMEMBERING MY FATHER WHO WOULD HAVE BEEN 91 YEARS OLD TODAY

And remembering his twin sister, Aunt Margie, who IS 91 years old today. 

LAISSEZ LES BONS TEMPS ROULER!

Lent starts in less than 24 hours. Although as I am working tonight I'm not starting until Wednesday night. 

WOW

Apparently Jesus cured dandruff: http://catholicexchange.com/itch-holiness

I LIKE THIS ONE


Monday, February 16, 2015

I HOPE THIS IS TRUE



At least the good ones. 

janedoe@seductive.com

I would tell some people to eat shit but that would be cannibalism

janedoe@seductive.com

I WONDER IF THERE IS SUCH A THING AS HAMSTER CHRISTIANITY


janedoe@seductive.com

WHAT A STRING OF DAYS:

Lincoln's birthday, Friday the 13th, Valentine's Day, President's Day, Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday and Chinese New Year

janedoe@seductive.com

YET ANOTHER REASON I NEVER GOT MARRIED

Because human beings are not like jobs. Or apartments. Or cars. There have been times when I was offered one job, accepted it, and immediately offered another one. The same with houses/apartments, stuff on Ebay etc. And I am worried if I married a man (or even got seriously involved with one) and a better one came along I would regret it. Or hurt at least one of the men involved.

janedoe@seductive.com

NO SIBLING RIVALRY

See http://catholicexchange.com/saintly-siblings

janedoe@seductive.com

Happy President's Day!

janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, February 14, 2015

C FARTS A LOT

And he says his ex wife was a great burper. Yet the marriage failed. 

WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE DOWNTON ABBEY CHARACTER SAYS ABOUT YOU

Hearing "you are your parents' least favourite child" sucks when you are an only child:  http://www.hypable.com/favorite-downton-abbey-character

THE KABBALISTIC PROACTIVE FORMULA

1) When a situation arises, acknowledge that it's from the Light.

2) Identify your reaction.

3) Restrict, stop reacting, allow the Light to come in. Or ask the Light for help.

4) Now deal with the situation.

MY LOVE FOR YOU....

is like a truck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gFoHkkCaRE

MAKE IT SO!


PUTTING THE "VD" IN VALENTINE'S DAY!

See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or1oEWbN2Lw

Wondering if I should use my unspent Christmas check to get a Valentine's tattoo?

OMG--TOO CUTE NOT TO SHARE!


A DIFFERENT KIND OF VALENTINE'S DAY MOVIE

Picnic at Hanging Rock: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WcJpdg5Euk

Freaky as all get-out. The first time I saw it I couldn't sleep. R refers to it as "hanging bra." 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Friday, February 13, 2015

I WANTED TO STAND UP AND HISS

We've seen shit, but never like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28W23UtuWCk

Saw Fifty Shades of Grey. Waste of celluloid, time and money. Dumbest movie I've seen in years. Last Valentine's day saw Winter's Tale with R and one of his friends. I t was somewhat better, other than the fact that Jessica Brown Findlay has tuberculosis. It will be nice when she gets to be in something in which she doesn't die tragically. 

janedoe@seductive.com

YAY!

I am losing weight again. Now if I just didn't feel so tired all the time. But I am feeling a little better now. 

I DISAGREE


Not all bossy little girls (or boys) have leadership skills. Some are just brats and need their asses kicked. 

janedoe@seductive.com

THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS MAKING WEIRD CHEWING NOISES.

And the librarian is talking really loud on the phone. Guy next to me also smells like urine. Whatever happened to silence in the library?

janedoe@seductive.com

50 SHADES OF GREY

Will probably go see it anyway: http://catholicexchange.com/theology-body-vs-fifty-shades-grey

janedoe@seductive.com

DUH

Today is Friday the 13th. And tomorrow is Saturday the 14th. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, February 12, 2015

"JOY SHE GAVE"

"And joy she has found." That's what's on the late Kathleen Kennedy's tombstone. There is also a saying "all visitors bring joy--some by arriving, others by leaving." I want to be remembered as bringing joy. 

BETTER CALL SAUL

Saw the first two episodes. One of them involves a severed head: http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/breaking-bad-references-from-the-first-episode-of-better-c#.qe7zPNq2G

IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER

See http://catholicexchange.com/following-rhythms-spiritual-life

THE QUESTING BEAST

Wikipedia describes it as having "the head and neck of a snake, the body of a leopard, the haunches of a lion and the feet of a hart." King Pellinore (and all his family) have been chasing it for years for no good reason I can discern, and all they find are fewmets. Kind of like when Uncle Joe went bear hunting and all he found were bear turds.

Then Pellinore takes up with Sir Grummore (no idea of the real story of their relationship) and says "since then I’ve been letting my beastly Beast go and hang itself on the wall, what?” As well he should. I have no idea why anyone wanted to catch it anyway. For food? Milk? Clothing? Eggs? Fertilizer? In one account the beast languishes for lack of attention from Pellinore, so the king nurses it back to health and starts chasing it again. Stupid Pellinore.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

I SAW YOUR PICTURE

And no, I am not turning Japanese: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

It's been so long I had almost forgotten what you looked like. I had to Google you. But no, I am not stalking you. 

janedoe@seductive.com

GREGSON IS DEAD

I didn't think they'd kill him: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2015/02/08/downton-abbey-recap-edith-makes-her-move-and-mary-is-so-so-cold

And there's Atticus. The Granthams/Crawleys/Whatever they are's seem to object less to his being Jewish than they do to Tom's being Catholic. Maybe, because as Isobel said, they wouldn't expect Rose or anyone else to convert. 

janedoe@seductive.com 


REMEMBERING MY DARLING LIGHTNING

My first pig, who died ten years ago today:


janedoe@seductive.com

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF OUR LADY OF LOURDES

See http://catholicexchange.com/lady-makes-splash-lourdes

janedoe@seductive.com

ENERGY CRISIS...

...was an oft-touted phrase during the '70's (kind of like "closure," "empowered," "move on," and "let it go" are now) and it's what I've been going through personally. Sure gas prices are lower than they were in a long time (doesn't make much difference to me as I don't own a car) but I don't nearly have as much energy as I used to--sleeping 15 to 16 hours per day and not feeling refreshed when I wake up. At least now I'm getting better--slept less than 12 hours yesterday and woke up feeling better than I had in days or weeks. And as we learned in kabbalah class, somethings don't follow a logical timeline.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, February 08, 2015

Food=Power

THOMAS

No, not the Tank Engine, although I get them confused myself. The underbutler on Downton Abbey. And yes, he is an asshole, although I’d like to think it is not entirely his fault. He’s gay and can’t come out in England during the reign of King George V. And apparently he wasn’t treated well by his father. Sure, he was shitty to Bates, but he does look out for Miss Sibby. And he DID save Lady Edith from the fire. The Guardian compared him to Nosferatu and said  “has he been visiting his father? Or having his blood drained by the undead? And now he’s in his room doing terrible things with a spoon…What is his mysterious treatment? What is the path that he has chosen? Self-torture with a soup ladle?




KIND OF LIKE MONTY PYTHON

Does life have meaning? See http://catholicexchange.com/job-life-meaning

ROCKET SCIENTIST ON COLUMBIA ROAD SAID "YOU A WHITE WOMAN."

Thanks for enlightening me, asshole.

Saturday, February 07, 2015

HARD TO BELIEVE

The Roofer's Union in Adams Morgan is celebrating its first anniversary this weekend.

WILLIAMS TEMPORARILY OFF-AIR

Brian Williams says he is taking himself temporarily off the air at NBC: http://news.yahoo.com/brian-william-taking-himself-air-temporarily-214707487.html

OKAY, I GET IT.

Brastfeeding is a natural thing. But so is pooping, peeing, belching, farting and nose-picking. And if I can't wear a mini-shirt or a tight, low-cut dress to work, why should someone be allowed to breastfeed? See http://www.wjla.com/articles/2015/02/va-house-of-delegates-passes-breastfeeding-bill-111260.html

YEAH, YEAH

G-d always answers our prayers. But more often than than not the answer is no: http://catholicexchange.com/agony-garden-unanswered-prayers

I DID NOT KNOW THIS:


Thursday, February 05, 2015

RIP LINETTE KOWALSKI

See http://millerfuneralfridley.com/obituary?id=1477525

This is mean but still kind of funny



I wonder if I could ask people to fart to help me stay in my condo? 

And speaking of farting hard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82e283rqxrY

Misspelled sandwich boards bug the crap out of me

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. AGATHA

See http://catholicexchange.com/st-agatha

A TWENTIES MEMORY

"That year I went to Paris a second time to talk with a thin, nervous European composer with aquiline profile and remarkably quick eyes who would someday be Igor Stravinsky and then, later, his best friend. I stayed at the home of Man and Sting Ray and Salvador Dali joined us for dinner several times and Dali decided to have a one-man show which he did and it was a huge success, as one man showed up and it was a gay and fine French winter."

Woody Allen

Went to the Phillips Gallery to see the Man Ray exhibit. 

Reminds me of the quote from the movie Rebecca "Oh not this modern stuff, I hope. You know, portrait of a lamp shade upside down to represent a soul in torment."

HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANY HAIKUS RECENTLY


Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Children aren't trophies

See http://catholicexchange.com/children-arent-trophies

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

The phrase "angry sheep" is somehow evocative

THE JAMES GANG HAD THE RIGHT IDEA

And we heard the same thing in Kabbalah class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_4iQDYDVNo

FULL MOON TONIGHT

V says "the weirdoes around here don't discriminate---they'd howl at any ol' moon, full or not."

THIS KID COULD HAVE HAD A BRILLIANT ACTING CAREER

But Nationwide killed him: http://www.theroot.com/blogs/the_grapevine/2015/02/nationwide_insurance_responds_to_super_bowl_ad_backlash.html

VARIATION ON MAN BITES DOG

See http://www.weather.com/news/video/punxsutawney-phil-groundhog-bites-wisconsin-mayor-during-ceremony

Today is the feast of St. Blaise

See http://catholicexchange.com/st-blaise

SOMETIMES THIS IS A GOOD THING


MY TOP TEN PERSONAL FAVOURITE SUPER BOWL SPOTS

In the order in which they aired:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UO2A2p-19A










Monday, February 02, 2015

MORE THAN 24 HOURS LATER

All the Superbowl 2015 spots: http://www.businessinsider.com/all-the-2015-super-bowl-ads-2015-2?op=1

janedoe@seductive.com

APPARENTLY THERE IS NO SONG ABOUT TAKING A BUS TO TENLEYTOWN

Or Hollandtown: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvCBSSwgtg4

janedoe@seductive.com 

How do you tell the guy across from you his cologne smells like Lysol and you hate it?

janedoe@seductive.com

SOUNDPROOF UNDERWEAR WOULD BE A GOOD THING, TOO

See http://myshreddies.com/store/flatulence

C farts a lot and says his ex-wife was a great burper. Yet the marriage failed. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

IN ADDITION TO BEING GROUNDHOG DAY....

...today is also the feast of the Presentation: http://catholicexchange.com/presentation-of-the-child-jesus-in-the-temple

janedoe@seductive.com

GROUND HOG'S DAY

Happy Groundhog's Day! Patapsco is the closest thing I have to a real groundhog:


janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, February 01, 2015

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

See http://www.boredpanda.com/honest-liquor-bottle-labels

Patriots beat Seahawks 28-24

V put it well in his invitation "Death by Frito Lay at Dr. Clock's. Come pop a squat and watch the biggest assholes in the NFC duke it out with the largest collection of pricks in the AFC. There will be drinking games (for example drink every time Belichick grimaces or every time Pete Carroll bounces up and down like he's decked out in bloomers and pom-poms)....Or you can watch it "MST3K style", as there will surely be ample wisecrack fodder."

SUPERBOWL XLIX

Getting ready for my own private party at work. 

SPOT ON

Measles are the big story now. Mumps somewhat below them. I have had at least three measles shots in my life, don't want a fourth. 

Being someone's "project" or "experiment" is not always very gratifying.

ANY ASSHOLE CAN MARCH IN A MARCH.

Or wear a button. Or put a bumper sticker on his/her car if he/she even has one. Regardless of your political leanings, it takes more to actually DO something. 

FLATULENCE-PROOF UNDERWEAR

Maybe it should be soundproof, too: http://myshreddies.com 

Some things just defy logic.