Friday, November 30, 2012

DAY 42

Today is the Feast of St. Andrew:

I have been reciting this novena since I was 12 and don't think I ever got what I prayed for but I'm not giving up.... 

Thursday, November 29, 2012


Janey and Pepsi proudly announce their newest family member. His name is Patapsco, formerly "Cyclone" and he is an 11-month-old dark grey neutered American boar adopted from the Baltimore Humane Society, hence the name. We think he will be a satin. He was surrendered to the Humane Society on or around October 27th or 28th, date of birth given was December 28th, 2011. HIs official adoption date was November 27th of this year, his weight on that date was 2 lb, 1 oz. This was the bio on the society web page:

"Hi everyone! My name is CYCLONE, and I'm looking to blow my way into your heart! I was originally "bought" from a "pet store" by someone who unfortunately didn't realize that they have allergies, which they were unable to manage. Luckily, I was brought to BHS in the hopes of finding a true forever home. I'm looking for a nice, piggy-savvy family with whom to settle down; and in return, I'll be a wonderful companion. Please stop by to meet me soon; I can't wait to start my new life with you!"

As soon as he got home he impressed us by showing us how cute and smart he was.

Special thanks to Tom Grooms from Mix 107 (Cumulus DC) and Dave McCallister from Radio One Baltimore for giving me good references--we hope this will also cement good relations between the Humane Society and two major radio groups.


I am not a fun patient to examine, or to massage. I still flinch, startle etc.

DAY 41

Saw five cop cars in or near the park and one woman being led away in cuffs.
Apparently the homeless people are actually paying attention to me. Now if I could get the attention of peeps with money. And a place to live....

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


It's so depressing when drag queens make fun of you. But I still think my ass looks better than theirs.


Todays Powerball drawing may be a record one. I have no money for tickets. I have no money for gas. I had to borrow 20 dollars so I could be LESS overdrawn.

DAY 40

Wow, like the flood, 40 days and 40 nights. Or like Lent.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


'til I sank it:


Linda Ellerbee used the term I.T.P. to refer to "indignity to person." Mammographies are an indignity to one's person and this was even before her mastectomy.

DAY 39

Waiting for my mammography but not worried--I am told I have great boobs.

Monday, November 26, 2012


And how will you know how crazy in love I am with you? And how hard it is for me to be in the same room with you and pretend I don't even notice you?

Just sayin'

DAY 38

Today is Cyber Monday. I spent $7.09 online to buy business cards.

Sunday, November 25, 2012


And what John Irving refers to as "conceivably the loneliest" night of the year.


Watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof--the Deep South, surgery, ambulances, alcoholism, other drugs, homsexuality. Paul Newman has Elizabeth Taylor in a slip begging for sex. And shirtless Newman--yummy.

DAY 37

Have not started my Christmas card/gift list, that is usually finished Thanksgiving night ):

Saturday, November 24, 2012


Getting colder, gas prices well under $4.00/gallon in most places around here.


A cute guy said to me "do you work in a bakery, 'cos you're a cutie pie." I don't normally get that--I am just grateful people don't beat me and my friends up and steal our money.


A refers to the chicks who come out of Bukom as "ghetto bitches in Spandex." Some of them have buttocks twice as wide as my whole body. B is intrigued by this. As morally repulsed as I am by this I offered to send some his way. The guy may have saved my life, I owe him one. I don't want to charge him a fee, but should I charge the bitches? Is it fair to do this to him? Or to the bitches?


I generally try to support small business, including my own, and not just one day a year. But last year on SBS:

1. I had an unpleasant encounter with a small business owner and the camera crew trying to promote said event. Way to treat a longtime neighbourhood resident who tries to support you all year 'round.

2. Tryst had no Wifi on Saturdays, which I remembered AFTER I ordered my drink.

3. I got hassled by Romany and some homeless-looking person.

4. I ended up spending more time and money than I would have at Mac's, *$ etc.

This year the main small biz I tried to support was closed for the WHOLE WEEKEND. The other one was closed for good. I ended up buying a box of teabags and two cans of soup at Metro K Supermarket.

DAY 36

Five weeks ago today we were robbed. Two weeks ago I had two pigs instead of one.

Friday, November 23, 2012


Larry Hagman died.

Three phases in my life:

1) I Dream of Jeannie and my childhood

2) Dallas, high school, undergraduate school, graduate school and Wilmington

3) The new Dallas, a new generation


I tried to make it a black one, spent $5.08 on tea/soda at Tyson's (ripoff!) where Marco was making an appearance.

DAY 35

A Christmas classic with which to start the generic winter holiday season:

For me "the winter holidays" start with Thanksgiving and end with Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras or Chinese New Year, whichever comes last.

From now until January second things will be weird. 

Thursday, November 22, 2012


G says "in some fucked up [sic] incestual way, we're all family."


1) My mom and I still alive.

2) Pepsi and Peppy are still alive.

3) I have a place to live.

4) And in spite of everything I feel protected. Cherished even.

DAY 34


The best Friends Thanksgiving ever:

Probably the second best was the one in which Joey ends up as the VD Poster Boy.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

DAY 33

Not such a bad night in AdMo. No one's hit me or thrown anything at me and a nice bouncer told me he threw a guy's ass out for hassling me last weekend.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

DAY 32

Applied to be in a clinical trial at NIH but they turned me down. Apparently I'm too damaged. Last time I wasn't damaged enough.

Monday, November 19, 2012

DAY 31

I never would have thought of tequila body shots. But Tequila and lime juice can burn as well as salt:

Sunday, November 18, 2012


Watched that this afternoon while emailing about Perpetua's death and the robbery.

DAY 30

They say when G-d closes a door he opens a window. Sometimes he opens the door again, even if for a little while. Sometimes he opens another door. Sometimes he opens a crawlspace. As I said yesterday, it is what it is.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Thursday, November 15, 2012

DAY 27

It was a dull evening until E left her smartphone unattended and one of her co-workers posted "omg I just sharted again, some please help me. I have lumpy yoga pants."

A says leaving your computer (phone) unlocked like that is beyond stupid.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

DAY 25

It just gets weirder. The Mellow Mushroom is having drag queen bingo tomorrow night. With my luck they probably look/dress better than I do.

Monday, November 12, 2012

DAY 24

Veteran's Day.

Woke up in horrible pain this morning. The good thing about being a massage therapist is knowing what to do for it, the bad thing is not having anyone to massage you. BTW, aspirin really is the wonder drug that works wonders.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

DAY 23

Mom told me not to go to church for fear of infecting anyone:

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Friday, November 09, 2012

DAY 21

David Petraeus resigned. All the networks are leading with it.

Thursday, November 08, 2012


It's not Thanksgiving and already they're playing this at Millies:

Another generic winter holiday favourite:

DAY 20

Amazing how an incredibly horrible morning can turn into a lovely afternoon.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

DAY 19

My throat hurts and I'm having nightmares. Gonna take an Ambien.

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

DAY 18

Obama won again. Fuck. Four more years of this. At least Biden's entertaining.

Monday, November 05, 2012

Sunday, November 04, 2012


To anyone I have yelled at, addressed by the wrong name, etc


...that happen to good people."

Ellen DeGeneres

Two guys practically save my life and the lord G-d rewards them by sending them a fire. There really is no fucking justice. A bright spot: the Smoothie King guy feels sorry for me and gives me a free drink.

DAY 16

At *$ in AdMo' running out of steam. Incentive to keep going-there is pizza after 5:30 mass:

Saturday, November 03, 2012


DAY 15

Two weeks since the robbery. Doctor gave me a script for Ambien, didn't even have to ask.  Studs are saying if THEY had walked me home, it wouldn't have happened. Ok, but where were they THEN?

Friday, November 02, 2012

Thursday, November 01, 2012


That's what I was going to say. But I was pleasantly surprised. E feels bad about the assholes stealing my Mac's coupons so she sez she'll buy me a Mac. And apparently I have multiple men vying for my attention.

DAY 13

Today is All Saints' Day, a holy day of obligation. Actually got my ass into church.