Sunday, January 31, 2016

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. JOHN BOSCO

St. John Bosco: “When deep sleep falls upon men, in slumberings upon the bed; then He opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction” (Job 7:14). God has revealed things to men in dreams throughout time. In the Bible we read many stories of how God spoke to His people through dreams. He revealed to Joseph that Mary was …

People can be so shitty.

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION

This morning I asked my co-worker for a wake up call if I didn’t call him by 11AM. This was our conversation:

Me: Hey, it’s me.

Him: Are you  awake?

Me: What do you think? I’m not a somnambulist.


And I have enough problems with people who think I’m psychic. 

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Why are people posting obituaries of people who have been dead over a year? 

Saturday, January 30, 2016

It's a real gentleman who will pick up your crutches for you.

GO ON, GO ON

Leave me breathless: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzerbXFwGCE

Having trouble breathing--probably a hiatal hernia but I have been advised to get it checked out now and not wait until my next month's follow up.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. TIMOTHY

St. Timothy: Born at Lystra, Lycaenia, Timothy was the son of a Greek father and Eunice, a converted Jewish woman. He joined St. Paul when Paul preached at Lystra replacing Barnabas, and became Paul’s close friend and confidant. Paul allowed him to be circumcised to placate the Jews, since he was the son of a Jewess, and …

Monday, January 25, 2016

THIS IS EFFED UP.

The more weight I lose the higher my blood pressure gets.

janedoe@seductive.com

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF THE CONVERSION OF ST PAUL

See http://catholicexchange.com/the-conversion-of-st-paul#.VqX14oIOCs0.twitter

janedoe@seductive.com

THE FEMININE CARE SECTION OF CVS IS MYSTYFYING IN ITSELF.

And this is coming from a woman. I actually saw home paternity test kits. Never had the need for that but if I did I think I'd go elsewhere for it.

janedoe@seductive.com

ANT-WALKING ALLIGATORS

Victims of the Hiroshima bombing who didn't die right away, who seemed "neither human nor animal, neither living nor dead" http://knowledgenuts.com/2013/07/17/forgotten-horrors-ant-walking-alligators-of-hiroshima

janedoe@seductive.com

FREE RIDES ON THE METRO

Too little too late, considering I spent about one-third of what I earned this weekend on cabs. Nice going, WMATA.

janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, January 23, 2016

I AM EATING NOODLEO'S

Only because Target was out of stars:


SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN

Should Parents Be Allowed In Church?: This month The Great Children In Mass debate was reopened across Catholic Internet Land.  I believe it all began with Tommy Tighe’s “Letter To The Lady Annoyed By My Kids At Mass.”  Boom.  The Internet exploded.  Having slogged through the various articles and, more distressingly, the comments beneath, I think there is a certain disconnect …

NOT MY CIRCUS

Not my monkeys: 



I have felt like saying that since Thursday, maybe even Tuesday or Wednesday: 

The crutches are actually coming in handy--I can use them as ski poles.

Mmmmm, king size bed, Pillow top mattress

Friday, January 22, 2016

WHY MILLENNIALS BECOME CATHOLIC

Why Do So Many Millennials Become Catholic?: Why do so many millennials become Catholic? It’s not because they’re hipper than thou, and it’s certainly not because they’re holier. Michelangelo’s writhing, unfinished statues of slaves, struggling in their prisons of stone, are a picture of millennial converts to Catholicism: broken and banished from Eden, stuck in the fallen flesh of Adam, yet baptized …

janedoe@seductive.com

TALES FROM THE 'HOOD


Credit: Roscoe Alsbrooks III

janedoe@seductive.com

I ALMOST FORGOT

The March for Life was today. Why couldn't the Supreme Court have ruled at a nicer time of year? 

janedoe@seductive.com 

HAD MY ECHO THIS MORNING

By noon things were already fucked up at Washington Hospital Center. WALKED from Columbia Heights to Adams Morgan faster than the bus got anyone there. Trains were not nearly as bad as I thought they would be although Metrorail service is suspended through the weekend. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

It's good pig-cuddling weather.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, January 21, 2016

WALK THE MOON

Shut up and dance: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCLY0Rlx6Q

PRIORITIES BEFORE THE STORM

1) piggy food 2) human food

GUILTY AS CHARGED

Taming the Tongue: 10 Fatal Abuses of Speech: Saint James warns us that we should be slow to speak and quick to listen. The Imitation of Christ asserts that few have ever regretted refraining from speaking. On the other hand, many regret having opened their mouths when they should have kept them shut. Still more, Jesus warns us that every word that comes forth from our mouth we …

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

AND SO IT BEGINS

Making a special guest appearance at work as R can't make it in. 

janedoe@seductive.com

BRING A PET HOME BEFORE THE SNOW!

See: https://www.facebook.com/loudounanimals

Janedoe@seductive.com 

SO OFTEN TIMES IT HAPPENS...

...that we live our lives in chains: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTrEAo0mbgA

janedoe@seductive.com

I hate to take the name of the lord in vain but Christ, my foot hurts.

janedoe@seductive.com

THERE IS HOPE

Has Your Child Gone Astray? Your Hope May Be His Saving Grace: The Church of Mercy (Week 3 of 6) In the face of those moments of discouragement we experience in life, in our efforts to evangelize or to embody our faith as parents within the family, I would like to say forcefully: always know in your heart that God is by your side; he never abandons …

janedoe@seductive.com

MY, OH, MY

You sure know how to arrange things: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-NlR54PqLw

janedoe@seductive.com

ANOTHER GOOD THING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT:

It takes less to fill me up. I can feel full after less than two Egg McMuffins and can't eat a whole Chipotle burrito in one sitting. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Brought Mom up to speed on five seasons of "Downton Abbey" in less than 24 minutes.

WE ARE ALL G-D'S CHILDREN

And I am one of his problem children: 

 Sharing Mercy with Fallen Away Catholics: Every single Catholic knows someone who has left the Church for one reason or another. The reasons for their leaving the Eucharistic Supper are varied, some are complex, some are superficial, but all are linked with pride. The antidote for pride is humility, but before humility can come, an individual must come to know why …

THIS DOESN'T JUST APPLY TO DEATH


Glad my relatives will admit to being related to me.

It's so endearing to feel Pepino pulling on my skirt hem--like a human baby.

Feeling overwhelmed--settling with Chipotle, insurance, benefits, 401 (k), getting A+ certified, dealing with the Hotel W ...

Playing scary movies in my head and can't turn them off.

TWITTER IS DOWN

My main page is www.twitter.com/snipercatcher 

Monday, January 18, 2016

SUNRISE, SUNSET

Every day it gets dark one minute later. And starting this week it's getting light sooner. At least in DC. 

janedoe@seductive.com

St. Margaret of Hungary

St. Margaret of Hungary: St. Margaret of Hungary is truly a unique model of virtue for today’s modern young woman. In a prayer “deal” with God, her father, King Bela IV of Hungary, promised her to the religious life at her infancy, in return for an end to the persecution of his country by various enemies. She grew into …

Eagles guitarist Glenn Frey dead at 67.

janedoe@seductive.com

Watching "What Women Want"

janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, January 16, 2016

SWEET MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD

My aunt and uncle used to listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIBTg7q9oNc&app=desktop

It was one one of those huge old-fashioned "hifi's." Aunt I might still have it. 

THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS

High blood pressure, food poisoning and nerve pain. 

MET A LONG-TIME FACEBOOK FRIEND

We didn’t recognize each other. I thought if the crutches didn’t tip her off the tattoo would: 



Why are so many grown women walking around with animal ears on their heads when it's broad daylight and nowhere near Halloween, Mardi Gras or Purim?

GOT PAID

Bought veggies. Repeat in two weeks. 

YEAH...


GIRLS WILL BE BOYS...

...and boys will be girls, it's a mixed up muddled up shook up world: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7HTqoxks_4

GIVING UP ON ST JUDE IS JUST KIND OF SAD:


MR. CAB DRIVER:

A green light means go ahead. It does not mean stop in the hope it will turn red and you will get more money. 

Friday, January 15, 2016

SWEET JESUS, MY FOOT HURTS

On the couch medicating myself with Aspirin, Aspercream and lidocaine. And watching House. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

URINE, YOU'RE OUT

I don't think anyone enjoys urine specimens--not the doctor who orders them, the patient who has to give them or the tech who has to process them. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

AS P SAID, CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD

Got an email from a former massage client saying “I know you from the XXXXXXX oscar watching parties. Also, you once gave me a massage at my apartment.
it was a surprise to find you when I was randomly craigslist surfing, yadda yadda.
And how are you doing these days? are you skinny now? send photo.”

I answered “have you grown any more hair? Send photo.”

Such a gentleman. 

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

T TOLD ME I LOOK GOOD

Which is ironic considering how I felt 24 hours ago.

Janedoe@seductive.com

Powerball Jackpot is at 1.5. Billion

MATTERS OF THE HEART, OTHER BODY PARTS, TOO

Saw Dr. P yesterday. Lungs are clear, O2 sats normal, blood pressure slightly high and he's ordering an echo. In other words no big whoop, until I got came down with what was probably food poisoning about ten hours later. Had to leave home early--the first time I've had to call in sick unplanned since 2013. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Monday, January 11, 2016

I WISH I COULD INTERNALIZE THIS

Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility: As the novel shows, the corruption of sense in the form of prudent self-interest leads to marriages based solely on money, and the corruption of sensibility in the form of license leads to elopement, seduction, and children out of wedlock. Both attitudes destroy the ideal of marriage that forms the basis of civilization in Austen’s …

I admit I am almost all sensibility, but fortunately it has not resulted in "elopements" or "children out of wedlock."

janedoe@seductive.com

GAVE MY AVATAR BIGGER BREASTS

If only life were that simple: 


janedoe@seductive.com

When people ask if you're anorexic maybe your weight loss plan is working TOO well.

janedoe@seductive.com

I SHUDDER TO THINK OF WHAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK OF MY FEET:

See http://www.hithenews.com/discover-what-your-feet-say-about-you-23.html?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=socialnetwork

NEVERTHELESS...

It’s Still a Wonderful Life, Because God is the Father of Mercies

janedoe@seductive.com

I'M LONELY TONIGHT

I'm missing you now:  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lUmEfp_mq_U

Yeah, I realize I've been making a lot of Indigo Girls references recently. 

janedoe@seductive.com

NICE TRY, REDSKINS

This is not my ear:



janedoe@seductive.com

Monday, January 04, 2016

IN SOME OF MY SELFIES I LOOK AS THOUGH I'M SEEING GODZILLA

HEY JEALOUSY

Today is the Feast of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

janedoe@seductive.com

I WAS THINKING OF THIS ANYWAY

LET'S GET SOME

A GREAT QUOTE

"We all eff up in life, send him the card."

janedoe@seductive.com

It's snowing in DC

janedoe@seductive.com

HEY, APPLE!

We're on iPhone 6 and not sure which generation of iPad. Why can't you come up with a screen that doesn't crack? Are you trying to generate business for repair peeps or for Lifeproof, which is ugly? 

janedoe@seductive.com

I GET SO EMOTIONAL, BABY

Every time I think of you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YjSHbA6HQQ

janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, January 02, 2016

C CALLED ME THE FEMALE RODNEY DANGERFIELD

I've been compared to a couple famous Jewish comedians: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ikvsDpmwjI

IT HAD TO BE SAID

TO THE PERSON WHO KEEPS FLAGGING MY ADS

© craigslist - Map data © OpenStreetMap
It's you again. Quit being an asshole. Keep hating. I'll keep posting. What IS your problem, anyway? What the hell do you do, sit there and wait for my posts to appear so you can flag them? Do you feel THAT threatened by me? It's Saturday--I guess you have nothing to do but log onto craigslist and flag other people's ads, as opposed to building your own business. Really, I supposed I should feel sorry for you.

REALLY, YELLOW CAB?

Trying to charge me $42.00 for a cab ride that should have cost me less than $19.00? You suck. 

HALLELUJAH!

I am down 33 pounds since the fall of 2012. At that point my blood pressure was so low at least two doctors talked about putting in a pacemaker. Not sure how much I've dropped just in the last week--having one person and one pig sick helped.

This was me in January, 2012:


About three months later: 


May 2014:


October 2014:

Yesterday: 



“OUR FACES LOOK 45, OUR BODIES 18”

“We’re 28 and the children call us ‘madame.’”


Annalisa Ericson

“Looking at you tonight... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. A chance for motherhood and your health and that baby. I think that...I don't know, maybe they're right…maybe what they say is true, though for all the wrong reasons. It's the personal costs that are too high. There’s so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this. There has to be an end, Scully.”

David Duchovny

I started in radio 34 years ago this month. It’s like the Belgian surrealist RenĂ© Magritte said, “one has to do something.” I did it to impress a guy, who turned out to be gay anyway. Sure I tried other stuff--public relations, massage therapy, teaching, the Census Bureau, getting four Microsoft cerfitications--nothing else panned out.

I could have got married--there were at least two guys who would have married me. They say the greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother. Conversely, the greatest gift a woman can give her children is to love their father. But I am looking for more in a man than a meal ticket or a sperm donor, which may have been a mistake. And I can think of at least three men for whom I would have ditched it all and taken some crappy government PR job, even moved to Mississippi. None of them wanted to marry me. So here I am. As Dave Davies said, "it was a pretty good scene, man." Or as I told Bobblehead about lesbian sex, it is what it is.