Thursday, January 31, 2013


Got a free sandwich and a free pot of tea. And T fucked up my French fries so I got them free.

DAY 104

Going with the GW cardiologist at least for now, despite two bad experiences with other departments.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

DAY 103

Filed with Progressive. Baby steps.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


"By the gate now, the moss is grown, the different mosses,
Too deep to clear them away!"

Ezra Pound/Li Po

This has to be my favourite poem ever and it speaks volumes about my life:

DAY 102

Waiting for the dust to settle:

Monday, January 28, 2013

DAY 101

Amy Morris at WNEW put it well when she said " Bubble bath. Glass of wine. Big, gloppy tears" 

Sunday, January 27, 2013

DAY 100

''The last few months have not been kind to you.'

Patrick O'Donnell

No shit, Patrick. Totalled my car at 6:03 Eastern time this morning, checked out okay at GWU Hospital, am on my way home.

Friday, January 25, 2013


Skidded in some snow, blew a tire, running on a doughnut, not worth replacing the tire even

DAY 98

Forgot about the March for Life.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

DAY 97

The North Wind doth blow and we shall have snow.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

DAY 96

G-d is teasing me. Teasing is not nice.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


Today is the feast of St. Vincent of Saragossa. The story fascinated me as a child:

DAY 95

‘tis the day after election and okay, Barack…

Inauguration 2013=fail. Sure, they showed all the celebrities downtown, which was a ghost town by the time I got there, but what about DuPont Circle and Adams Morgan? Four years ago we were three deep in people, last night some places weren’t even open. And I haven’t been paid since December and have been told to tough it out for the next two weeks. Meanwhile, I am wearing boots because I have holes in the bottom of my shoes and won’t be able to afford new ones until next payday. So much for hope and change.

Monday, January 21, 2013


People say we should use Martin Luther King Day to pray, read, do volunteer work etc. I say bullshit. If there is ever a Jane Hautanen Day I give peeps permission to eat, drink, get drunk, get high, sleep, have sex, go shopping, go to the beach, stare at a TV set, stare at a wall, stare into space...


This is my fifth inauguration as a DC resident and I hope there will be more.

Didn't go the the festivities but will try to crash some parties.

DAY 94

Three months and one day after the robbery we may have some closure. This morning a man in the Diner said  "I hope ain't no one messing wi'ch you, baby," and I said "you know I was robbed three months ago" and he says "they been taken care of."
Not sure whether he meant police had them or they had been taken care of Sopranos-style. I almost don't care.

I explained the money wasn't the thing, it was what happened to the other two afterward and he said "everything happens for a reason, baby" and hugged me.

Sunday, January 20, 2013


For angels to fly:


Click here for the Washington Times

DAY 93

The robbery was three months ago today. You bastards opened doors that should never have been opened and can't be closed. I hope the money you got from me was worth it. 

Saturday, January 19, 2013



Dow closed up, gas available for $335/gallon at three locations on Lee Highway in Arlington. Weather bitterly cold, lab results show I'm fighting a nasty infection, can't get referral to cardiologist fast enough.


The woman in the center is in a wheelchair, on blood thinners and a special diet. The one to her left has had a hip replacement. The one on her right is in a rocking chair, can't see and has a bladder problem. Everyone in the room is listening to Led Zeppelin and talking about who's dead. We are far too young for this.

DAY 92

Every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love:

Friday, January 18, 2013

DAY 91

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart:

Thursday, January 17, 2013


"You were both pretty fucked up."

DAY 90

"Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go"

"Straight ahead and rest assured you can't be sure at all, so while you're here enjoy the view, and keep on doing what you do"

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

DAY 88

Too bad there is no song called "Shower the People You Love With Snot." Because that's what I'm doing now:

Monday, January 14, 2013

Sunday, January 13, 2013


August 10: I had to have Puzzle put to sleep

September 20: A tire blows up in my face. I end up in the WHC ER with at least three healthcare professionals asking me my name multiple times. At least one of the doctors was cute.

October 20: The robbery.

October 29: Hurricane Sandy

October 31: Halloween is a total washout, no pun intended. Partiallly because of Hurricane Sandy, partially because it's a Wednesday and partially because of the murder in Georgetown last year.

November 1: Some asshole walks off with my coat, which isn't so bad because it was so old and ratty looking it was embarrassing to be seen in it, but my keys were in the pocket, and needed replacing.

November 4: Fire at Shenanigans

November 6: Election Day and I am not working. Obama is re-elected.

November 9: I have a nasty URI

November 10: Perpetua dies.

December 7: A car crashes in to Mac's on 18th St.

December 24: An incident occurs at the vigil mass between a homeless guy and a burly usher. Fortunately no one is hurt, which is good because I am in the line of fire.

December 26: I find out a very special person may be very sick. And some asshole walks off with my bag which has about 17 dollar in cash, my Mastercard, my driver's license, Starbucks card and Smarttrip card

December 27: The new eye doctor tells me I have multiple issues going on, which will eventually require surgery.

December 30: Redskins beat the Cowboys, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, a drunken bar employee bumps into a punk who shoves him into me. Fortunately, he does not knock us over.

January 1: I don't make it to the ONE party at which I really wanted to be, but have a nice time at Millie's. A knockdown dragout fight ensues, a woman backs up and steps on my foot with a spike heel.

January 3: A body is found in a ventilation shaft on Biltmore Street. The kid was last seen at the party I wanted to attend but couldn't.

January 13: At about 3:40 AM two uniformed men saying they are MPD officers come into the control room saying I was off air for six minutes and someone thought I was murdered or had had a heart attack or something like that. Their stories don't match up--I am still freaked out. Either someone was pranking us, has a hard on for one of us, is stalking me or wants to scare me into quitting my job. Whatever it is, it won't work.

G is right: Apparently I am singlehandedly skewing DC crime statistics. It's a wonder Cathy Lanier hasn't asked me to move.

Despite all of this, many wonderful things have happened--I had a lovely birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. I am being offered more work, am closer to MOS Word certification and am getting the medical care I need. And actually MAKING appointments, etc. I feel cherished--E says "everyone likes you and feels bad about what happened to you."

And I have two beautiful new pigs.

And I am in love.

As Dianne Eppler Adams says, gratitude is like priming the pump.

Now if I don't stroke out before my doctor's appointment tomorrow I'll be fine.




Click here for the Times of Trenton:

DAY 86

Hold me!

Saturday, January 12, 2013



Dow closed up, weather becoming more pleasant, gas prices seem to be going up although I hear they are supposed to be going down. Trying not to stroke out before my doctor's visit Monday. 

DAY 85

Tomorrow, Facebook will change its privacy settings to allow Mark Zuckerberg to come into your house while you sleep and eat your brains with a grapefruit spoon. To stop this, go to Account > Home Invasion Settings > Cannibalism > Brains > Grapefruit, and uncheck the 'Tasty' box. Please copy and repost.

Friday, January 11, 2013


"Ghetto bitches in Spandex. Should not happen." 

DAY 84

A crushing blow to my ego. Two guys are staring in my direction as though transfixed. I am, as usual, flattered by the male attention until I realize I am sitting in front of a TV screen. With ESPN on it. 

Thursday, January 10, 2013


Excerpt from a Facebook post:

S: And you still ARE evil bitches from hell!

N:  You must have a death wish, Jane

S: Jane knows no fear. She's the most badass Catholic I know, even if I live in Catholicland.

Actually, I do know fear, more than most peeps realize. But hey,  I like my image. 

My FB name is snipercatcher

DAY 83

I am turning into my father, pacing around like a caged tiger.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

DAY 82

I would say "you started it," but that's kind of a nursery school thing. Really, peeps in all areas of my life are acting like children. 

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

DAY 81

Try as I might, I still get sucked into your weird little dimension. 

Monday, January 07, 2013

DAY 80

I go back and forth through the looking glass so often: 

Sunday, January 06, 2013


Click here for the Philadelphia Inquirer: 

DAY 79

I am not handling this well. But you already knew that.

Friday, January 04, 2013

DAY 77

I have been told no one wants to kick my ass. That's a good thing.

Thursday, January 03, 2013


What is the blurry line between obsession, love, sexual attraction and OCD?

DAY 76

A body was found in a ventilation shaft on Biltmore Street this morning: 

This is so weird on so many levels. The building in which he died was next to one in which I was thinking of buying a condo years ago. He was at the party I REALLY wanted to attend. Less than 24 hours after he disappeared some people came into Shenanigans asking the on-duty manager if they could post some flyers.

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

DAY 75

Started a novena to St. Peregrine: 

Tuesday, January 01, 2013


Didn't think it would work out:

DAY 74

Happy New Year!

So far it's beginning well. 

Got through NYE without a wardrobe malfunction. My NY resolution is to drink 64 oz of water/day.