Sunday, May 31, 2015

"RISE AND SHINE"

That's what I say to wake C up. I feel like Jane Wyman in Glass Menagerie. I would say "wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey" but they do not pay to make him breakfast. 

"LEAST SAID, SOONEST MENDED"

Attributed to Charles Dickens and Laura Ingalls Wilder. 

Not trying to make Beau Biden's death into a political thing. There have been true and false things about the accident which killed his mother and baby sister--at least one reporter whom I very much admire posted something which has never been proven. More than seven years ago Celia Cohen, whom I would not call a conservative by any means, refuted a statement made by his father: http://www.delawaregrapevine.com/12-07bidencrash.asp . Meanwhile, one of the most conservative guys I know praised the younger Biden for his work as Delaware Attorney General. 

At the same time a guy I normally like posted two items about Beau's death and after that at least six items trashing Republicans/conservatives. Not impressed. It's easy to trash other people/parties, but apparently harder to build up yourself, your own party/ideals. That goes for people on the left/right, Democrats/Republicans, liberals/conservatives :(

Friday, May 29, 2015

I LOVED THE '80'S

Or at least didn't mind them too much. Marketing idea for Adams Morgan. Have an '80's party with ''80's music and free cheese in the Ronald Reagan vein. And speaking of cheese: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK92NYwBMts

I MUST BE IN A LOT OF PEOPLE'S DREAMS


I don't sleep well and wake up feeling as though I hadn't slept at all.

janedoe@seductive.com

I COULD HAVE MARRIED FOR MONEY

Or taken a lover in the afternoon. But I didn't: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HGaJHhUJR4

Apparently the original by Umberto Tozzi song was a love song. Or at least a fantasy. 

janedoe@seductive.com

WATCHED THE FINAL EPISODE OF SONS OF ANARCHY

Lots of people got shot. In the head. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, May 28, 2015

BOSTON STRONG--AMERICAN STRONG


"I WOULD HAVE MADE A PERFECT GENERAL'S WIFE"

Irina Muravyova

" For that you would have to marry a lieutenant first and for years  move with him from one small town  to another."

From the 1980 Soviet film Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x10q228_moscow-does-not-believe-in-tears-1980-pt-1_creation

In this scene Lyudmila has just had to deal with her hockey player ex-husband Sergei and sees a general and his frumpy wife walk into her workplace. She wishes she were married instead to a general. Probably a good thing she didn't--about eleven years later the Soviet Union fell anyway.


THIS WOULD BE FUNNY IF IT WEREN'T TRUE


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

VICTIM 'HOOD

janedoe@seductive.com

IT WAS A ONE-EYED, ONE-HORNED FLYING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER

Just had the urge to listen to Sheb Wolley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx47qrH1GRs

janedoe@seductive.com

"STRAIGHT TEACHING"

That's what "orthodox" means literally. I'm sure there are equally annoying things people assume about Catholics: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jewinthecity/13-annoying-things-most-people-assume-about-orthod-9kbu

janedoe@seductive.com

STOP BLAMING THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM FOR EVERYTHING

Some kids (and adults) are just stupid. 

ANOTHER WARM AND FUZZY

See http://iheartcats.com/these-cats-react-to-their-soldiers-coming-home-and-prove-they-love-just-as-much-as-dogs/?utm_source=Homer+The+Blind+Cat&utm_medium=Facebook+Post&utm_campaign=Homer+The+Blind+Cat

And then there's www.mycathatesyou.com 

janedoe@seductive.com

SEVEN MAD MEN CHARACTERS FOR WHOM I FELT THE MOST

Either felt the most for or just felt sorry for. Mostly alphabetically:

Anna Draper--The real Don Draper's widow. She died of cancer at a young age. I really liked her. 


Glen Bishop--He was a really messed-up little kid who grew up to be a messed-up big kid. G-d knows what made him that way--I shudder to think of it. 


Joan (Holloway) Harris--She took care of everyone and everything yet no one took care of her or gave her the credit that was due her. Even when she had her second going-away no one ordered a cake for her because she was they one who ordered cakes for everyone else and apparently no one else knew how or where to order one. 


Ken Cosgrove--Lost his eye in the line of duty and as far as I know was never properly compensated for it. As he said, he's everyone's favourite toy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6nDsLx98SI


Sal Romano--Fired partly because he wouldn't succumb to that scumbag Lee Garner Junior's carnal urges and partly just for being gay. Although there are a lot of frivolous sexual harassment lawsuits, this wouldn't have been one of them in this day and age. 


This post was originally supposed to be six, but I couldn't decide between the last two: 


Peggy Olson: Like Joan, unappreciated by everyone, and not just the people at Sterling Cooper. 


Trudy Campbell: Married to a cheater, had to deal with a prep school headmaster's sexual advances. In the final two episodes, though she had really grown up. I felt really happy for her in the series finale when she boarded the Lear Jet in her heels, pink mini coat and matching fur hat. 


A Top Ten (Not Seven) List: 


http://www.tv.com/shows/mad-men/community/post/mad-men-secretaries-139833574038


"IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING...

every road will get you nowhere."

Henry Kissinger


And then there's 

“If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else” and "When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!" 

Yogi Berra

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

THE POWER OF ALGORITHMS

Or something. A guy in one of my Meetups plays a lot of cards. Not sure how it happened, but somehow he got an invitation to play cards naked.

LIGHTING A SINGLE CANDLE


COMFORT ME WITH APPLES

Started Power of Kabbalah 3 tonight. We talked about setting goals. Mine is to eat more fruit, to start out with. 


Note: this picture is by photographer David Vertacnik. It is on display at the Slovenian Embassy in DC.

ON THE TRAIN

I saw a guy who looked like you. There was a woman sitting next to him with her legs in his lap. I thought I had lost feeling for you and for all other men. 

A WARM AND FUZZY STORY.

Literally: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/11/australias-oldest-man-sweaters-penguins-oil_n_6660962.html

NOBODY DOES....

so why should you? Happened across this on Youtube--the Fabulous Singlettes from Australia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmZnJVIS4X0

M SAYS I'M BORING WHEN I'M NOT DRINKING.

B says so too, but I think she finds me boring all the time. 

I AM STILL LIVING WITH YOUR GHOST

But not on the west coast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW6E_TNgCsY

Monday, May 25, 2015

MAD MEN--THE FINALE

It’s been over a week, so here’s the rundown on the six characters most people consider the most important, unless you’ve been living in a cave:

Don Draper: When last seen he had abandoned his Cadillac in Oklahoma, headed to California to give Stephanie (Anna’s niece) Anna’s engagement ring and drove up north with her to some cult-like place in Northern California. There we are led to think he got inspired to buy the world a Coke, headed back to New York and made even more money: http://www.vulture.com/2015/05/see-mad-mens-series-ending-finale-montage.html

Betty Draper: I guess it had to happen to one of them, considering how much they all drank, smoked and kept a bad diet. In the penultimate episode she was diagnosed with an incredibly aggressive form of lung cancer and had less than a year to live. She wasn’t exactly my favourite character but geez, why her? It still hadn’t decided where her and Don’s three kids would go.Ironically, the real Don Draper's wife, Anna, died of cancer, too.  In the final scene Betty is seen smoking and dying while Sally does the dishes. Don’t they have a maid for that?

Roger Sterling: His agency having been completely absorbed by another, Roger draws up a will, leaving most of it to his grandson, Ellery, and his and Joan’s love child, Kevin. Marie Calvet (Megan’s mother) has left her husband, Emile, who was an asshole anyway, for him. It’s nice to see Joan’s face when she hears the news. When last seen Roger and Marie are seen in a cozy cafĂ©, either in Paris or Montreal, with Roger ordering  champagne and lobsters in French.

Joan Holloway Harris: After being screwed out of a quarter million dollars, she decides to cut her losses and start her own company without the consent of her gazillionaire boyfriend. Peggy refuses Joan’s offer to make her partner, and Joan is last seen running her new company, named “Holloway Harris” out of her apartment.

Peter Campbell: The scum also rises. Pete accepts Lear’s offer to move to Wichita and Trudy accepts his offer to re-marry her, despite his dalliances. When last seen they are beautifully dressed with Tammy in tow, boarding a Learjet. Incredibly romantic—I wouldn’t mind being Trudy, even if she ends up in Wichita with an adulterous husband. At least she’ll have use of the company plane, so she can fly back to New York any time she wants to.



Peggy Olson: So she and Pete have a love child already and at 4:24 and 4:44 it looks as though there could still be something going on: https://vimeo.com/38969950 . In the final episode Stan Rizzo makes a declaration of love for her (did not see that coming) and we last see her getting a back rub from him while pounding away at her typewriter. The “Mr. Peggy Olson” jokes abound.  Okay, it they’re happy. I guess he's preferable to Duck Phillips...

A TAIL OF TWO COWS

A Russian farmer is praying to G-d. His neighbour has the most fantastic cow anyone could want—she’s sweet, beautiful, gives huge quantities of milk and gives birth to huge numbers of beautiful, healthy calves.

G-d asks “so what do you want me to do about it?”

The farmer says “kill his cow.”

I don’t want anyone to lose his/her cow, no matter how badly they’ve treated me or my family/friends. I would ask for a cow just like his, or better. Or better yet, two cows.

janedoe@seductive.com

IDENTITY THEFT MADE FUNNY

Years ago Citibank did a really funny spot about identity theft. It used phrases such as "What's it too you,""buzz off," "take a hike" and "none of your beeswax." I just loved the inyourfacedness. Too bad I can't find it on Youtube. Others were less funny. 

janedoe@seductive.com

I'M SO SILLY

When I first heard about the Sopranos, I thought it was a musical thing, like the Three Tenors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUT07eZoXPw

janedoe@seductive.com

Minor earthquake in California

janedoe@seductive.com

MEGHAN TRAINOR DID NOT DO A SONG TITLED "ALL ABOUT THAT BUS"

Not WMATA, Not WMATA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk

janedoe@seductive.com

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SANDWICH


I do try to order something before I use the free Wifi...

janedoe@seductive.com 

ENDLESS SUMMER


Some people say summer begins Memorial Day and ends Labour Day, others say it begins with the summer solstice and ends with the autumnal equinox. I prefer to have it begin Memorial Day and end with the autumnal equinox--that way we get more of it. 

And as for people forgetting the meaning of the holiday, right now I am thinking of my Great Uncle Louis Kozma  who did not die in battle but in training camp, my cousin Tom who was badly wounded in Viet Nam and my late father, Edward Hautanen, who served in World War II but did not die then. 

As I say on Martin Luther King Day, if there is ever a Jane Hautanen Day I give people carte blanche to do WHATEVER they want--go to the beach, go to the mall, go to the movies, surf the web, watch TV, get drunk, get high, have sex, sleep in, stare at the wall or just stare into space. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

MEMORIAL DAY

Formerly Decoration Day: 


janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, May 21, 2015

PRESENT PERFECT

"Nobody was in the yard and that was nice. Usually it was preempted by the boy whose father rented the store on the ground floor. The boy played an interminable game of graveyard. He dug miniature graves, put live captured caterpillars into little match boxes, buried them with informal ceremony and erected little pebble headstones over the tiny earth mounds. The whole game was accompanied by fake sobbings and heavings of his chest. But today the dismal boy was away visiting an aunt in Bensonhurst. To know that he was away was almost as good as getting a birthday present."

Betty Smith


Other things are as good as getting a birthday/Christmas/Chanukah present--For example having the bus pull up right in front of you just as you arrive at the bus stop. And having a nice seat there for you at Starbucks. 

I'M TOLD SOME DOGS HEARD THE HIGH NOTES IN THIS SONG

And went deaf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnVUHWCynig

Earthquakes in England and California

I LIKE THIS PREDICTION


A PIPE BROKE AT GRAND CENTRAL

One broke at Mom's house and one at work before that. What am I, a broken pipe magnet?

I want cupcakes

There is no such song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLJ1vuUWprA

Years ago I needed a picture of a cupcake for something or other. I ended up saving about 20 to my hard drive. A student said "you must like cupcakes."


THE BEST-DRESSED PERSON IN THE PHARMACY WAITING ROOM WAS MOST LIKELY A TRANNY.

I felt like such a frump.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

I DON'T IDENTIFY WITH THIS

And I don't believe necessarily that "mongrel" children are smarter, more attractive etc. There seem to be a lot of biracial children in special ed, juvi etc: http://www.buzzfeed.com/elliesunakawa/31-things-all-half-asians-know-to-be-true#.vpv957e5Z

HELLO, FODDER

I'm sure I provide people with material:


RE-READING ANOUILH'S ANTIGONE

"Who was always the first out of bed every morning because she loved the touch of the cold morning air on her bare skin? Or the last to bed because nothing less than infinite weariness could wean her from the lingering night?"
 
Like Joanne Woodward said at the end of the movie Sybil, there aren't enough hours in the day.

I'VE BEEN TOLD I'M BATSHIT CRAZY


THIS IS PRETTY COOL

The Gulf of Alaska


MANY OF YOU KNOW ABOUT MY AVERSION TO FOOTWEAR

That includes shoes, socks, stockings, pantyhose, tights, etc. But I would wear these:


I wish I had enough energy to enjoy a beautiful day like this.

Monday, May 18, 2015

ISO

Two of my Gentile colleagues have Jewish bosses and/or business associates and get invited to Jewish events in their line of work. Neither one owns a yarmulke. I would like to get them each a nice one (not too kitschy) which does not cost too much but is presentable and could be worn in Temple . Are there any places in/near DC that sell them or do you recommend buying one online? Thanks!

janedoe@seductive.com

WATCHED THE MAD MEN SERIES FINALE

Be prepared for a lot of posts/tweets within the next couple days. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, May 17, 2015

ATE MY EASTER DINNER

Offered to share my funnel fries but no one accepted. That's okay--more for me. 

TATTOO YOU

I want my next one to say "wonton soup" in Chinese: http://www.thedailymeal.com/news/eat/guy-thinks-his-hebrew-tattoo-says-strength-it-actually-says-matzo/51415

PROBABLY TOO MUCH INFORMATION

In 1989 I had probably the worst cold ever. I wasn't that sick, just kind of tired. But the snot WOULD NOT STOP FLOWING from my nose. About a month ago we had a repeat--snot would not stop flowing from my nose and I kept coughing up phlegm. Last week it was the opposite--snot would not come out of my head. At least now it's starting to come out, albeit kind of dry. 


IN PIAM MEMORIAM


Tuesday, May 12, 2015

AMTRAK TRAIN CRASHES NEAR PHILADELPHIA

See http://abcnews.go.com/US/amtrak-train-crashes-philadelphia/story?id=30997124

People who don't have pigs don't realize how "special" they can be.

THE ROBBERY?


Yeah, I realize it was over two and a half years ago. Seriously, though, I heard that B gets beaten up and robbed about once a week. Not because he carries that much money or goods on him, but he's so obnoxious he pisses people off who wouldn't normally rob him. I guess they figure while they're beating him up they might as well take whatever he happens to be carrying. 

Saturday, May 09, 2015

COMPLETED MY EASTER DUTY

Managed to go several hours without sinning, did not text this fact in church, either. The priest was nice.

Not feeling very bloggish today.

Monday, May 04, 2015

WHEN I MET YOU IN THE RESTAURANT

You could tell I was no debutante: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOnv8lXDzhg

janedoe@seductive.com

I AM A NICE PERSON

That is why when people leave their accounts open I don't post things like "I'm 50 years old and poop in my pants."

janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, May 02, 2015

50 SHADES OF DULL

50 Shades of Grey is now available from Comcast on Demand. I was bored with it the first time--why would I pay to see it a second? 

I AM NOT TRYING TO BE DIRTY

... but Chef Boy Ar Dee's meatballs look smaller: http://www.wackypackages.org/stickers/4th_series/chefgirlardee_front_small_smaller_images.jpg

IT'S A GIRL!

The Duchess of Cambridge just gave birth to a baby girl.    

My grandmother, Hilda Elena Kuvaja Hautamaki was also born on this day in 1888.

Friday, May 01, 2015

HEAVE-HO

Now that I am done heaving C has started. So I am doing his shift. 

janedoe@seductive.com

POOR PEPINO!


I forgot his birthday. He was a year old April 29th, but as he's a pig he doesn't know. He will be spoiled at a later date. At least we didn't have a tornado the way we did on one of Pandora's birthdays. 

janedoe@seductive.com

GOT A GOOD DEAL ON PROBIOTICS

Yeah, my life is dull. 

janedoe@seductive.com

"VOMITING STORIES AREN'T FUNNY"

Matt LeBlanc

But they can be when enough time has passed. 

janedoe@seductive.com

MOM'S HOUSE WAS BROKEN INTO

She and the cat are ok. Fortunately, she was asleep and didn't notice until she realized some things were missing. 

janedoe@seductive.com

HAPPY MAY DAY!


janedoe@seductive.com