Tuesday, December 31, 2013

PIGGY TRAIN!

Apparently there is a sociological reason for it:


THIS IS A RIOT

How to know when your cat is fully charged:


Monday, December 30, 2013

DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

It seems to be that way at this time of year, literally and figuratively--the time after Christmas, especially between Christmas and New Year. I started a job December 30th, 2001 on a Sunday morning--the worst possible shift. But I stayed there for more than seven years.

I GOOGLED BEE POLLEN

And came up with beef stew. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

"WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Seems to be the dominant theme.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

WEEK

Dow closed over 16 thousand, another record I think. Weather was bitterly cold, ended pleasantly.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, WMATA?

Zoo Lights + Construction = Fail. You are the reason people drink and drive. 

CANE MUTINY

Some of these sound revolting: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304465604579221943029447818

WHILE WE'RE AT IT

Happy Kwanzaa! 

Friday, December 27, 2013

GO TO JAIL

Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.00

An hour and forty minutes in the oral surgeon's office and he can't pull the tooth. This after three weeks. All this for nothing, could have slept. .And still as thirsty as a fish, waiting for my blood work results. If I end up in the ER with an infection let the sin be on their heads. 

janedoe@seductive.com 


Thursday, December 26, 2013

A TREE GROWS IN ADMO

Bought a giant economy size bottle of tea tree oil. Because the last thing I need to do is get sick:

NO ONE EVER SAID...

"I'm dreaming of a weird Christmas." This one was weird, but better than last--did not end up with screaming, tears, stolen bags etc. 


A VERY ADMO CHRISTMAS

Exchanged gifts with bar tenders and greetings with the tattoo parlour guy. I buy so much from the Botanica they gave ME a gift. 

THE DAY AFTER

Was late in getting the tree up, but will probably be late getting it down, too:


Wednesday, December 25, 2013

THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

At least on TV, except for maybe the Charlie Brown Christmas Special: http://www.hulu.com/watch/58777

janedoe@seductive.com 

BEING JEWISH

Chinese dinner and a movie, The Great Gatsby on Amazon. Mmmm, Tobey Maguire. 

janedoe@seductive.com 


JESUS AND I HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON

Our birthdays both fall on the same day of the week. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

HALLELUJAH!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9XzrDltKgI

janedoe@seductive.com 

THE MOST ORIGINAL HOLIDAY GREETING YET:

Christmas is a coming
And the geese are getting fat
Please to put a dollar in Mr. Lomax' hat
If you haven't got a dollar, your spare change will probably do
But if you have no change to spare, then a "MOTHERFUCK!" to you!




From K


MY FAVOURITE SECULAR CHRISTMAS SONG

All I Want For Christmas Is You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS SONG

For unto us a child is born: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9morqKUH0Sw

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiSPNaQNGOY

janedoe@seductive.com 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

PRAYER REQUEST

Please pray for me--I may have another chance to save my condo. If I do, it would be a Christmas miracle.
 

IT TAKES A WOMAN...

...all powdered and pink to joyously clean out the drain in the sink.. And the bathtub. And the toilet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kc6ROLNNq4

OLD SCHOOL

Wow, apparently the cartoons with which I grew up are old school: 


THINK I NEED A GINGER ALE

Chugging huge amounts of the stuff, really craving it and can't figure out why, as I am not nauseous. Maybe it's the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f1TKLywtok 

At least it will help the 24-hour urine. 


MERRY PISSMAS

Doing a 24 hour urine, dropping it off before mass. So festive. I don't think any normal person likes them. Doctors hate ordering them, patients hate doing them and I can't imagining anyone enjoying processing them. 

Monday, December 23, 2013

AMERICA'S MOST INSULTING

I thought the most insulting thing you could say to a patient was "it's all in your head," but I was wrong. It's "you'll just have to accept it." And then there's "it can be controlled by diet and exercise." I walk so much I broke a bone in my foot, dumbass. 

janedoe@seductive.com

MY COUSIN DAVID II

Today is the anniversary of my cousin David's death. I was eleven years old. We spent Christmas Eve in a funeral home. I still remember Grandma's tears dripping onto his coffin.They served good food at the wake.

NOW BEGINNITH...

...a marathon of ten and 15-hour days. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, December 22, 2013

THE SOFTNESS OF YOUR SWEATER...

...against my skin. Mmmmm.

MY COUSIN DAVID

Today would have been his birthday. He was Aunt Irene and Uncle Jim's first child, Grandma and Grandpap's first grandchild and Mom's oldest nephew.

BUT NOBODY GETS A LIFETIME REHEARSAL....

...as specks of dust we're universal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xzsY2vkEMM

Amy Ray/Emily Saliers

A twist on the Indigo Girls: "having your head up your ass is universal." has to be the most profound thing I've heard all month.

Edd Lynch 

STRANGE NIGHT

It's a strange night, compared to last. It feels as if it should be midnight.

ADVENT, ADVENT

Today is the fourth Sunday of Advent: http://catholicexchange.com/the-last-days-of-advent

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Los Angeles Times: http://www.latimes.com

Saturday, December 21, 2013

WEEK

Dow closed up over 16 thousand, hit a record high this week. Weather ended unseasonably warm. I think I saw a sign saying gas was $3.40/gallon. Since none of the doctors I’m going to are available or helpful, I’m treating myself with vitamins, essential oils, etc. If I end up in the ER with a lavender overdose, let the sin be on their heads. 

EASY CUSSWORDS

NPR and Google marked the anniversary of the crossword puzzle. I like the idea of a cussword puzzle: http://www.npr.org/2013/12/21/251986578/the-crossword-turns-100-across-celebrate-by-playing-our-puzzle

Friday, December 20, 2013

ONE TEST AT A TIME

Frustrating visit with the endocrinologist. I want to cry. J says "Don't ever give up, Jane! Take one test at a time, one day at a time, and believe for the best!

janedoe@seductive.com 

Thursday, December 19, 2013

I RULE

S sent this email to almost a dozen people, including Frodo: 

Thanks to Jane’s early warning about the missing Rush Update last night we took a look and found the Enco “EN-ININT” machine was down and would not boot properly.

Thanks $1,000,000 to Mike, the machine has a repaired graphics card and appears to be working properly again. Who knows, maybe the old card had been close to the edge before, causing the previous freeze incidents of that box.

IN THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAYS

Met some bi-polar acting guy at the PO who told me he spoke four languages. I told him if he spoke English to speak it correctly. I refrained to tell him to bite me in at least five. 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

WALK AWAY

And that's what I should do. I love what Youtube writes about the real Renee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RCenpcN3EM

The James Gang's Walk Away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICmD8P0x8_M

 janedoe@seductive.com

WELCOME TO THE WRECKING BALL

I never thought I’d say it, Miley Cyrus actually makes Britney Spears look like a class act: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLtmauJLP-A


But yeah, I DID unfortunately come in like a wrecking ball. And that’s what’s making problems now. Over a year ago a door was opened that never should have been: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My2FRPA3Gf8


IT'S FUCKING COLD HERE

That's why I'm dressed like a Hungarian grandmother. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

SELDOM IS HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD


From Jim Bohannon: 
"You're not too old.
You're strikingly attractive.
Your voice is fine.
You've got a great resume.

Ya gotta believe!"


LIVING ON THE ISLAND

A text from D:  "watch out for the polar bears."

OLD SCHOOL

Taken in the old Smooth Jazz studio, probably between 2005 and 2008. I had forgotten it existed.  Note posters in the background and 7-11 cup in the foreground: 

Monday, December 16, 2013

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Saturday, December 14, 2013

WEEK

Dow closed under 16 thousand, gas was $3.67/gallon at the Sunoco station on Harvard St. Weather mostly unseasonably bitterly cold, but at least it gets dark one minute later every day. Trying to stay healthy, the rheumatologist said there’s not much he can do while the foot is still healing. Seeing the endo next week, hope to get some answers, don’t want to be this fat. 

ORDERED ONE OF THESE ON EBAY:

A mariner's cross, otherwise known as St. Clement's cross: 


I PRETTY MUCH LIKE WHAT I'M DOING

I just wish I were earning more. And getting more airtime/on-air mentions. And had someone with which I could share it. But compared to this time last year, things are better.

EXPERIMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slYExz44k0Q

I am experimenting with goulash soup. A couple weeks ago it was chicken. 

Friday, December 13, 2013

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

PLANS

1) To get my condo together, whether or not I sell it. 
2) To buy a car
3) To pay off my student loans
4) To get more, better work
5) To forgive

 janedoe@seductive.com

PAIN

A little kid on the train looked at my crutches and said "I'm sorry you got hurt." I wanted to explain to him that there are much more painful things than breaking a bone. I also refrained from telling him "this is what happens when you don't drink your milk/eat your vegetables. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

SNOW DAY

They closed city and federal government offices today. Maybe there was a reason for it.

Saturday, December 07, 2013

WEEK

Dow closed over 16 thousand. Weather was warm mid to late week, then bitterly cold. Gas was $3.36/gallon at the Sunoco station between the Columbia Heights Metro and Washington Hospital Center. Doing my best to stay healthy and optimistic, but getting hard. 

INFAMY

Pearl Harbor was 72 years ago today. And there is enough other shit going on on a personal level.

ST. AMBROSE

Today is his feast day. He is the patron of candlemakers. And beekeepers. And they named a church after him: http://www.stpeterslist.com/1877/happy-feast-day-of-st-ambrose-7-biographical-points/

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS OUT...

They pull me back in. Professionally and sexually.

Friday, December 06, 2013

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Monday, December 02, 2013

CRUTCHES SUCK

But there are other things that suck more:


  • Being told everything's "just nerves" or "all in your head" sucks.

  • Being accused of faking an illness or medical condition to get attention sucks.

  • Having to go to work or school when you're sick sucks. Not being able to home sucks, too. 

  • Having your mom say "aw, come on, Janey, you're not that sick" sucks.

janedoe@seductive.com 

IN THE WORDS OF MY COUSIN K

''Wow.'' People really do read my blog. Turned the iPad found Friday to DC police.

Janedoe@seductive.com

WHILE IT'S STILL CHANUKAH:

So much more beautiful than the generic clip art or Google Stock photos:




janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, November 30, 2013

WEEK

Weather is about 20 degrees colder than it should be this time of year. Don't want to bore you with more medical stuff.

FOUND:

Ignore this post

ST. ANDREW

Today is his feast day. Here is his novena: http://www.twoheartsdesign.com/prayers/standrew.html

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

New Year's Eve party at the Grand Hyatt. I am working there. Early Bird Rates still available: http://www.meetup.com/20sand30sgroup/events/147262672/

SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY

Today is Small Business Saturday, brought to you by American Express. How many small businesses actually take Amex? I had a sandwich at Millie & Al's. Does that count?

Friday, November 29, 2013

I DID IT

I bought three dollars' worth of gift bags at CVS. If it's not a Black Friday no one can blame me. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

BLACK FRIDAY

MEH. Running the board, feeling a little feverish/sore throat, but will do my economic duty.

janedoe@seductive.com 

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Saturday, November 23, 2013

WEEK

Weather lovely lovely the last couple days, beastly cold tonight. Foot hurting today, but toughing it out, feeling really thirsty the last couple days.

I GREW UP SCREWED UP

When I was about four year ago the little girl up the street told me President Lincoln was shot in a theatre. In a drive in theatre. In a convertible.  When I was older I read in CREEM Magazine that cool teenagers in NYC carried portable radios on their shoulders. So I walked around carrying a little 8” Panasonic…

Friday, November 22, 2013

O CECILIA

Today is the feast of St. Cecilia: http://catholicexchange.com/a-patron-saint-for-musicians-singers

It is also the feast of Christ the King: http://catholicexchange.com/feast-christ-king

janedoe@catholicexchange.com 

NOVEMBER 22, 1963

John F Kennedy was assassinated 50 years ago today. Probably lots of babies born in that year are getting invitations to join the AARP.  Kids who graduated from high school in that year are eligible to collect Social Security. And Medicare. Most people who were eligible to collect Social Security/Medicare in that year are probably dead. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, November 21, 2013

OH, DEER

Saw a hugeass deer in the park, not far from where the robbery took place. He was big enough to ride. 

MY NAME REALLY IS JANE

It is not an alias.

JUST SAY YES

Yes! Organic Market on Columbia Rd has some good specials.

IT IS WHAT IT IS

And nothing more.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

THESE ARE THE DAYS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlCS-qf7yaM

These are the good old days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibSelIFBR8s

Or, as Linda Ellerbee said, where I loved my life most, where I hated my life most.


Monday, November 18, 2013

THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH

And they make me do shit. But I guess you could say that about any job. 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Saturday, November 16, 2013

WEEK

Taiphoon Haiyan is reportedly one of the most powerful storms to hit the planet ever. It has been bitterly cold for several days but a little better this weekend. Dow hit another record high. My lungs are no worse, my coronary calcification score was perfect and there ‘s no immediate need for a pacemaker.  

ST. MARGARET OF SCOTLAND

Today is her feast day. She is my patroness. She was Hungarian: http://catholicexchange.com/st-margaret-of-scotland

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1oM3kQpXRo

Okay, not everything, but a couple things. 

PENGUIN DREAMS

I am wearing my Penguins shirt because

1) The pens played yesterday and are playing tonight
2) It's clean

DUH

A lot of my posts are about food. 

GETTING BIGGER PORTIONS AT CHIPOTLE

See http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-get-bigger-portions-at-chipotle-2013-10

Friday, November 15, 2013

I NEED TO EAT MORE

A Mac's salad, Starbucks scone and a plate of Millie's mozzarella  fries in the space of two days don't cut it.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I MUST LOOK BAD

People with disabilities are giving me their seats on the bus. Homeless peeps are giving me money. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Monday, November 11, 2013

AMERICA'S MOST DISGUSTING

1) J insists on spraying/wiping everything down. Including me. 

2) S is terrified that I will infect her so I get sent home. 

3) People at Mellow Mushroom are saying I'm homeless. 

4) B says customers have been complaining that I smell like patchouli, which I hardly wear. I explained that a) my nose is stuffed up and I can't smell myself and b) it's hard for me to keep myself clean as I can't take this bandage off.

I feel like Typhoid Mary and neither one of them blames Frodo. 

YAY!

One year with no robberies AND no piggy deaths!

janedoe@seductive.com 

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!


Sunday, November 10, 2013

ONE YEAR AGO

"Little" Perpetua died. She was the healthiest of all my pigs, hardly sick a day in her life. I miss my baby girl and still feel guilty--she died three weeks after the robbery.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the San Francisco Chronicle: http://sfchronicle.com 

Saturday, November 09, 2013

WEEK

Taiphoon Haiyan is the big story this week. And it gets darker one hour earlier here. 

I LOVE THIS GUY!

Bart Baker: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3twwafch4g

PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA:

Laundering my Princeton T even though it has only one chocolate blob on it. 

Friday, November 08, 2013

Thursday, November 07, 2013

KELLY CLARKSON QUOTES

When you are on crutches you get all kinds of unsolicited advice. I have been told that if my foot heals, which I hope it does, it will get stronger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

CASH, VISA OR MUSTARD?

I do not take duck sauce as payment. Or mustard. Or soy sauce. 

janedoe@seductive.com

HEY,

I don't need chemical stuff to do anything stupid:


janedoe@seductive.com

MATTERS OF THE HEART. AND LUNGS

On-call doctor says my heart sounds better and my O2 sats are up, but she still hears some coarse lung sounds. Seeing the cardiologist tomorrow. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

THINGS TO REMEMBER

1) Today is election day. If there is an election going on, go vote. 
2) The Red Sox won the World Series. There is no Major League Baseball until next spring. 
3) Set your clocks back if you haven't already.

Monday, November 04, 2013

SLEEPING BEAUTY

Woke up at 10:18 tonight. Why am I so tired? 

A) Mono (Too old)
B) Bitten by a tsetse fly
C) Pricked my finger on a spindle

janedoe@seductive.com 

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Saturday, November 02, 2013

WEEK

I keep taking the bus past the Sunoco Station on U St but forget how much gas is.  Weather is chilly but not too bad, although I don’t like the darkness as much. Got a bunch of test results today, which prove I’m not crazy or just looking for attention. 

PUBLIC SERVANTS ANNOUNCEMENT

Set your clocks back if they don't do it themselves.

ALL SOUL'S DAY

Today is All Soul's Day, not a holy day of obligation. 

Friday, November 01, 2013

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I AM LIKE A WALKING HELEN KELLER JOKE

I can't walk, can't talk and  have an eye infection so I  can't see. A deaf guy gave me his seat on the train at least we were both able to sign/speak our needs. D asked why I even came to work. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

DOW CLOSED...

...at a record high. I will be on crutches for at least three more weeks. Some asshole gave me the wrong boot, which made the pain and swelling worse. 

YAHRZEIT

My father died nine years ago today.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

WEEK

It gets dark earlier every night. At least working the hours I do it's light when I head home.

SKULD

While I'm in a Bergman kick: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXGFo2WI2aw

Mom's doctor, who has never seen me, let alone examined me, says I have a stress fracture caused by inadequate footwear. Of course I feel guilty about this. 

NEWMAN!

I swear Paul Newman put crack in his salad dressing. I could drink the stuff out of the bottle. 

NAME THAT BABY

At least this guy admits there is not St. Todd: http://catholicexchange.com/guidelines-for-naming-your-baby 

Friday, October 25, 2013

GOT A NEW BOOT

It feels a little funny. And started wearing my contacts again. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

RED LETTER DAY

Eleven years ago today they caught the snipers. One year ago I was crying on your shoulder. 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

PROBABLY ONE REASON I HAVE LITTLE TO NO CONTROL OVER ON-AIR-CONTENT:


BREAKING MY FOOT...

...did not suck as much as getting robbed. No one else got hurt.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE DAY AFTER THAT

I should really stop numbering days, since it's been over a year since the robbery. I am feeling kind of spacey and weird, probably from reading old posts right before and after it.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

SO MANY NIGHTS

V has referred to the weather as "apocalyptic" or "Armageddonish."

SHARP-DRESSED MAN

After over a year I realize I like looking at long-legged men in tapered pants and  long-sleeved shirts.

NEXT DAY

Sorry to be such a downer.

Monday, October 21, 2013

ORDER OF THE DAY

1) Work
2) Sleep
3) Blood draw 
4) Ultrasound. 

Not necessarily those in that order.

And I got tested for TB 
A) Because I've got bronchitis
B) Because I'm losing weight again. 

janedoe@seductive.com  

DAY

One year robbery-free! 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Saturday, October 19, 2013

WEEK

Weather cooler, getting dark earlier. Boo. Battling bronchitis and conjunctivitis. Gas prices about the same as they were this time last year.

DAY

I want this pig. And he and his mate are up for adoption. See www.guineapigzone.com :



Friday, October 18, 2013

DAY

A second doctor is talking about putting a pacemaker in. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, October 17, 2013

AS THE STOMACH TURNS

And the lungs or whatever. ER doc fucked up--it turns out the conjunctivitis I had was bacterial, not viral. And I've got bronchitis, too.

DAY

Federales are back at work.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

DAY

My head is a snot factory. 

janedoe@catholicexchange.com 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

CONVERSATION WITH MOM

Mom: I hope you don't have one of those ridiculous names.

Me: Um, I'm Janedoe, Radiobaby, Snipercatcher and Nicecatholicgirl.

Note: Nicecatholicgirl seems to evoke the most hostility on Youtube.

DAY

Dark chocolate and tart cherry juice.

Monday, October 14, 2013

BACK AT WORK

Got home from the ER at about 11AM yesterday, didn't leave home until 9PM tonight.

DAY

Happy Columbus Day. On the couch craving comfort food.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

DAY

Running a fever of 100.2 and hurting all over. My eyes are fire-engine red and they are so gunked up my eyelashes are stuck together.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com 

Saturday, October 12, 2013

WEEK

Incredibly wet weather, of course at the end of the week.

CONVERSATION WITH MOM

Me: I got tested for TB because I lost 23 pounds.

Mom: Oh. Yeah.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

Got a phone call about a bisexual bachelorette party. The bride is marrying a man but wants a female stripper. Some of the guests are going to be naked but I am told I can keep my clothes on. 

DAY

"Rabbi Shimmel's own wife was said to resemble a squid, but this was only in the face, and she more than made up for it by her hacking cough -- the point of which escapes me."

Woody Allen

See more at: http://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/2003/08/8142011-woody-allen-tonight-part-1-of.html#sthash.C09Z40ZQ.dpuf

Friday, October 11, 2013

DAY

Fucking rain. That's all I can say. 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

DAY

It's fucking  ibuprofen, not morphine. Why are you giving me such a hard time?

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

RUNNING THE BOARD

And running a temperature. And may kill Frodo. 

janedoe@seductive.com 


DAY

Today is John Lennon's birthday. He would have been 73. Yesterday was my ex's birthday. I forget how old he would have been. This is a picture of Lennon, not my ex: 

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

CONVERSATION WITH MOM



Me: “…according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things…Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.”

Mom: You’ve been reading Woody Allen

DAY

I am worried about becoming an Ibuprofen junky. I used to be a heroin addict...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsHwIBR6ivA 

Monday, October 07, 2013

FRIEND WITH BENEFITS PACKAGE

Does it come with paid vacation? Holidays? Sick Days? Retirement?

 Profit-sharing?

janedoe@seductive.com

 

DAY

Saw Blue Caprice last night:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btxEOr34nw8
Not really historically accuratebut it reinforces the fact that Muhammad was nuts.

janedoe@seductive.com

Saturday, October 05, 2013

WEEK

Government shutdown is the big story this week. Temperatures were up to near 90, which takes the starch out of me. Not that it's relevant to me, but gas was going for $3.41/gallon at the Sunoco station on U St.

GAME OF THRONES

The handicap bathroom is not a shrine. 

DAY

Why am I so tired all the time? 

Friday, October 04, 2013

DAY

Went to Georgetown for a heart scan. It's cool to watch yourself flatline.
The last couple days I feel as though I've been beaten up. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

DAY

The first of the Beltway sniper shootings occurred eleven years ago today. There is a movie about it called Blue Caprice. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

DAY

M commented on my survival skills. He's not the first.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Sunday, September 29, 2013

BABY BLUE


The final song on Breaking Bad, otherwise breaking Badfinger:

 

DAY

From Jim Bohannon: 

"Rest.  Heal.  Be your vibrant self again, Jane."

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the San Francisco Chronicle: http://www.sfchronicle.com 

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Friday, September 27, 2013

SEPTEMBER SONG

Allow me to sing you a song of my people. Earthlink, you suck beyond all levels of sucking:




DAY

Sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself, would like to be in a nice warm place eating lasagna with a fun person.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

DAY

Pretty much out of sorts/under the weather. I guess there is no expression for "in sorts" or "over the weather."

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

SCRATCH THAT

Make that six. I get fitted for a walking boot.

DAY

So far five medical appointments in one week. Can't beat that with a stick. B says  "I
 hope all those doctors can put you back together again."

Monday, September 23, 2013

DAY

I guess my heart must just be slowing down. Literally. 58 BPM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBHoMvq_tmY

Saturday, September 21, 2013

RENDEZVOUS LOUNGE VICTIM DIES

See http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/case-ruled-a-homicide-after-man-hurt-trying-to-subdue-patron-at-adams-morgan-bar-dies/2013/09/21/19d2cd60-22de-11e3-b73c-aab60bf735d0_story.html

Only reason I wasn't there was because my foot was hurting. 

WEEK

Navy Yard shootings are the big thing in the news. Ironically, one of G's friends said something about getting me a job there years ago. Weather was beautiful but nasty tonight. Foot is swollen like a balloon, thinking the pain meds are messing with my head.

BLURRED LINES

I wanna get nasty, but am conflicted about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDUC1LUXSU

DAY

Ok, I'm gonna say it. Broken bones are not contagious. I will not infect you with anything, I am not gonna bite you, sexually molest you,  or hit you with a crutch and I certainly can't chase you unless you're REALLY slow.  Some of you who were really sweet after the robbery now are pretending nothing happened. There is nothing  for you or me to feel embarrassed about--I do not have cancer or any other horrible incurable disease, I was not driving drunk or high, I was not in a bar fight and I was not raped. It's ok to ask, it's the awkward looks I can do without. And yes, I realize I ended a sentence with a preposition. 

Friday, September 20, 2013

WENT AHEAD, MADE HIS DAY

Went to Chipotle in Columbia Heights, was inwardly grousing about the line, the wait time, the crowdedness, the fact that customers had to clean their own tables, the fact that some teenagers were sitting there after finishing their meal and the general ghetto-ness of the peeps there. Was thinking of complaining to corporate until the manager looked at me and said "this lady made my day." I couldn't imagine why until he told me a woman before me came in with a cane, demanded to get to the front of the line and threatened to complain to corporate. After that he and his staff treated me like a princess...

janedoe@seductive.com


DAY

The robbery was eleven months ago today.

Janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, September 19, 2013

DAY

Last night I told a guy about being to embarrassed to ask T to carry me when my foot was hurting. He said he envisioned him carrying me like Kevin Costner carrying Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

DAY

I can't believe I missed the Jewish Holidays. A belated Good Yontiff to all and may all of our names be written in the book of life for the next year.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

DAY

Got a posterior splint for my leg. Romany are hassling me.

Monday, September 16, 2013

13 DEAD

For more on the Washington Navy Yard shootings see www.facebook.com/snipercatcher and www.twitter.com/snipercatcher

DAY

Networks confirm twelve dead at Washington Navy Yard. Good thing I've been laid up, am typing this from the couch.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

WAITING TO EXHALE

Loved the part in which Lela Rochon refers to her date as a "human submarine sandwich." Ironically, his name is Michael.

DAY

Missed the Virginia Wine Festival.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Baltimore Sun: http://www.baltimoresun.com

Saturday, September 14, 2013

WEEK

Weather went up into the 90's, absolutely gorgeous today. Foot still hurting me, waiting for referral to podiatrist.

DAY

Foods that are better than sex:

1) Mille & Al’s mozzarella fries, either with marinara or barbecue sauce

2) Samosas At Halal Kabob

3) Fried crepes at Bistro Napoleon

Friday, September 13, 2013

DAY

Sometimes being out of love is better than being in it. 

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, September 12, 2013

DAY


Not fun weather if you're on crutches. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

DAY

Went to the condo garden party. Hope it won't be my last. Will have to wait another week to see the podiatrist.

Monday, September 09, 2013

DAY

Started on calcium and 50,000 IU Vitamin D supplement.

Sunday, September 08, 2013

DAY

Didn't spend Adams Morgan Day as I had planned, but it was a good one.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington City Paper: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com

Saturday, September 07, 2013

WEEK

Syria is the big story in the news.

DAY

Still in pain, but definitely no worse.

Friday, September 06, 2013

CONVERSATION ON 18TH ST IN ADAMS MORGAN

Me: What's going on? Did someone else get pushed down a flight of stairs? 

Channel 4 Reporter: No, is that what happened to you?


I guess you had to be there...

DAY

Turns out my Vitamin D level was low, which might have led to or at least partly led to the break. Starting on supplements Monday. M says a lot of people generally feel better when they start on huge doses of Vitamin D.

Thursday, September 05, 2013

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

DAY

The Rendezvous Lounge is open again.

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

DAY

I want to cry. Am walking like House. And to make it better have been playing stuff about the Titanic.

Monday, September 02, 2013

DAY

LABOUR DAY. 

Laboured most of the weekend. 

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Sunday Paper

DAY

No one believes anything I tell them. I feel like the least-believed woman in DC. If there were a kiddy book about me it would be titled Nobody Listens to Janey. 

Saturday, August 31, 2013

THIS LITTLE PIGGY

Got stepped on. The one with the corn and the hammer toe, that is. I have nine other toes, why did the guy at Mac's have to step on that one?

Bought a pair of LA Gear running shoes. They may look silly, but so does walking around like Long John Silver. Or Captain Ahab.

DAY

Rendezvous Lounge is closed for the next 72 hours, the Reef is closed for good. And the little Adams Morgan soap opera continues.

Friday, August 30, 2013

DAY

Newschannel 8 reports a man was pushed down a flight of stairs at the Rendezsvous lounge this morning. Good thing I went home early: http://www.wjla.com/articles/2013/08/adams-morgan-assault-sends-one-to-hospital-93393.html

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

HE HAD A DREAM

But I did nothing special to commemorate the day. It's the American way. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

DAY

The Reef on 18th St. in Adams Morgan is closing permanently. I was there when the stabbing happened.

Monday, August 26, 2013

DAY

Thinking of telling jokes at Open Mic Night at the Mount Pleasant Library: http://www.dclibrary.org/node/36468

Sunday, August 25, 2013

I want my MTV

DAY

Not funny. Would it be funny if they had the seven cancer dwarfs? The seven diabetes dwarfs? I'm in fucking pain:



SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Los Angeles Times: www.latimes.com 

Saturday, August 24, 2013

WEEK

Weather has been like a fairy tale the last couple days. Sleeping is my main goal.

DAY

It's amazing who your fans are sometimes. And your heroes. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

DAY

Congratulations to Kim and Patrick O'Donnell. They are proof that Karma's not a bitch if you aren't one. Now go eat there: 

www.littlefountaincafe.com 

https://www.facebook.com/littlefountaincafe?fref=ts

Thursday, August 22, 2013

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON CHARITY...

....pleasure's real or is it fantasy? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU3-lS_Gryk

DAY

From one high school classmate to another:

''Okay, here's the deal: You want drama with me? Here it is for all to see: I have friends going through real pain & problems. You have a website shilling for others pay for your wedding to an out of work loser w/ FIVE previous failed marriages. I have family members that thank God for every breath they take, you have the nerve to blast my sister for suggesting that maybe you can't really afford to get married right now. You have no clue what it's like to worry about anyone but yourself, ever, because you've never had to. And, no, in this case, bunnies don't count. Grow up & grow a pair. You're 51 & you need to stop expecting others to solve your self made "problems". Yes, I'm in pain, and therefore a bitch, but you've used my friends & family enough. ENOUGH. I'm sorry we aren't "friends" anymore, but I'm thankful that I don't have to read anymore of your damn haiku's, and even if my father could have gotten you a job w/ NPR, he wouldn't have, because you are no professional & certainly no serious journalist. You are an Emo, a 51 yr old Emo, which just makes it SAD.''

DAY

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

DAY

The robbery was ten months ago today. If I had a time machine, I would make it all un-happen ):

Monday, August 19, 2013

DAY

Allow me to sing you  a song of my people. Metro, you suck beyond all degrees of sucking:

Saturday, August 17, 2013

WEEK

Weather getting a lot cooler, feeling VERY tired....

DAY

Q: Did you go to school stupid?

A: Yeah, and I came back that way.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

DAY

Today is the feast of the Assumption. Did not go to mass but lit a candle. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Monday, August 12, 2013

Sunday, August 11, 2013

DAY

 Asshole relief guy didn't show up, just got up a while ago

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington City Paper: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com 

Saturday, August 10, 2013

WEEK

CHAIN OF WEIRDNESS...

It's been more than six months:
http://janedoesblog.blogspot.com/2013_01_01_archive.html#708188030149806926

I need to update this and mention the accident, Aunt Rose's death, having my bank accounts frozen and being exposed to tuberculosis...

DAY

Friday, August 09, 2013

CRIME SCENE

Apparent stabbing at the Reef on18th St. in Adams Morgan.

CLASS ACT

Bitch passed out cold in front of the SunTrust in AdMo. And her wig fell off. Can't beat that with a stick.

DAY

Really, Washington Hospital Centre? More than two months for a follow-up appointment? Am I supposed to stay tired, fat and miserable until then? Do I have to do something desperate and land in your ER and you realize how lousy I've been feeling? You suck.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

DAY

Weight down 17 lbs from last September and up at least six lbs from my last doctor's visit, heart rate/BP are taking another nose dive but then up to 140/90 at Rite Aid. You can't imagine this kind of stuff.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Saturday, August 03, 2013

THE SWEETEST THING II

A weird old guy who hangs out at Starbucks said to me "I want you to give..."and I thought he wanted me to give the flower table guy something. Instead, he told the flower guy to give me a rose. 

DAY

Confirmed cases of TB in Maryland and Virginia. And I have to get tested a third time.

Friday, August 02, 2013

DAY


So politically incorrect on so many counts and yes, snopes.com has declared it a hoax, but still funny as hell:


janedoe@seductive.com  

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

DAY

Eileen Brennan died. I never thought I would grow up to be Mother "and bored to hell."

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

DAY

Under the weather again. I know you're tired of hearing this.

Monday, July 29, 2013

FOR COLORED GIRLS...

Watched For Colored Girls on BET. As one of the Boondocks characters said about BET, "it ain't entertaining." I would say it wasn't entertaining, but it made me wonder if there were ANY happy black women in NYC.

DAY

"I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule."

Jeff Anderson

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Saturday, July 27, 2013

WEEK

Heat has finally broken and I am working on getting a new car, so gas prices may once again interest me.

RAIN, AND NOT THE ONE BY SOMERSET MAUGHAM

Fuck the flowers. I hate getting caught in the rain. And what's so romantic about walking in the rain? It just ruins your hair and make up. Umbrellas don't help--your feet get wet and your shoes smell after that.

DAY

We're not broken, just bent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OrTzlkgxgs

Friday, July 26, 2013

DAY

Saw the new endocrinologist. She seems to be interested in working with me. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Saturday, July 20, 2013

WEEK

It has been murderously hot, the hottest all year.

HELEN THOMAS DEAD

I think she was a guest on the Bohannon Show.

HOW WAS I TO KNOW IT WAS A GAY BAR?

There should have been a sign there on the door.

DAY

The robbery was nine months ago today -- as long as  it takes for a baby to be born.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

DAY

is watching "Working Girl" with Melanie Griffith. Because she needs inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv-0mmVnxPA

Monday, July 15, 2013

DAY

I feel like shit. Got my chest X-ray, over a week until I see the endocrinologist and almost a month until I see the rheumatologist.

A Facebook friend at the Post says "Never question a craving. Your body wants what it needs. Go out and get some poo now." For more see www.facebook.com/snipercatcher and www.twitter.com/snipercatcher

Saturday, July 13, 2013

ZIMMERMAN NOT GUILTY

Training to run the board at WMAL, not feeling well, going to the kitchen to take a nap. See http://www.facebook.com/snipercatcher  and http://www.twitter.com/snipercatcher

DAY

Rumour has it you and I had sex. Good thing you're a pathological liar.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Thursday, July 11, 2013

DAY

Woke up with another sore throat, didn't go to noon class.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

DAY

Judy Keane says:
"Therefore, never underestimate the impact of your warm smile, a kind word of support, a compassionate touch, a heartfelt compliment, a listening ear or a warm greeting.  Be aware of those who might be hurting around you – perhaps the person at the check out counter, someone you work with, someone sitting next to you on a plane.  Why? Doing good is powerful!  It has a ripple effect.  It directly counteracts the evil of our times. It has the power to transform hearts, minds and souls.  It transforms and uplifts ourselves and others – making extraordinary things happen.  Above all it is pleasing to God for as Saint Faustina says, “Pure love … knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest things out of great love – love, and always love,” – Divine Mercy in My Soul.
 So throughout each day let us look for opportunities to do good. If ever the world has need of massive amounts of good deeds – it is now!"
See http://catholicexchange.com/the-power-of-doing-good