Monday, February 28, 2005

I AM THE WEIRD OLD LADY

Whom people have to explain to their children.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, February 27, 2005

THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE

ABC will broadcast the Oscar Awards Ceremony at 8PM Eastern Time tonight.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

SFART?

It looks like "fart," but actually it's science fiction art: http://chuck.divine.home.att.net/sfart/

Friday, February 25, 2005

SEVENTEEN WEEKS

It's been seventeen weeks since my father died, two weeks since Lightning died. Lightning died the same day as Arthur Miller, but I didn't think of it at the time. Since then I have not lost any family members/friends.

janedoe@post.com

Thursday, February 24, 2005

POPE HOSPITALIZED

MSN reports Pope John Paul II has been hospitalized again, apparently with a relapse. The Vatican won't have any official reports until tomorrow. Hmm. It's pouring down snow and I am feeling kind of cold-ish, so I stayed home.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I FELT THE EARTH MOVE...

Actually I didn't, personally, but WTOP reports an earthquake hit Anne Arundel County this morning.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

HILTON #1

Paris Hilton was #1 of the latest Lycos 50. Shows what a dull Superbowl it was.

Monday, February 21, 2005

LOOKING FOR LOVE AGAIN

Today was an optional holiday at work so I decided to exercise that option. Picked up my darling Lightning's ashes today. My beloved Thunder, the incredible expanding pig, has been given a clean bill of health so I have officially started looking for a new mate for him. Called the Alexandria Animal Shelter where I got him, the MoCo shelter and The Noah's Ark Rescue in Dale City.

A lady at the MoCo shelter told me a nice story about a foster pig of hers who had stopped eating when she lost her mate. In desperation they placed a boypig's cage next to hers. As soon as she smelled another pig she started eating again. Now three years later she's the Amazon of the pig world. I figure if a pig can bounce back, so can I. Also, two of my friends say they're gonna adopt a human baby and two more say they're considering it, so I figure I might as well get onto the bandwagon. George says if I get the pig de-clawed and de-fanged they'll let the kid play with it.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, February 20, 2005

GOING TO THE CHAPEL

Or to the Unitarian Universalist Church. Cassandra is getting married again. Not sure whether the new wife also used to be a man.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

BACK WHERE I BELONG

Got back home around 11AM. Picked up Pippin/Thunder from the vet -- he is now over three lbs, 1345 g to be exact. Still worried about his future, mine, Mom and Peppy but people in my pig group say it's normal to be paranoid after you lose a pig.

Friday, February 18, 2005

SIXTEEN WEEKS

We had about 68 people at the funeral mass, not counting parish staff. The Crafty Ladies provided a really nice lunch. Father G kept up bringing up all kinds of Jewish references. Not sure whether that was for Aunt Ellen's or Kelly's or Jennifer's benefit or whether he thinks I'm Jewish. He also mentioned the cat in his eulogy, but not the pigs. Unfortunately when he mentioned sheep being led to verdant pastures beside still waters all I could think of were Kevin and Boonie's darn sheep jokes. Mom says she feels as though she's been hit by a truck and so do I. Lillian says it was a successful funeral.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, February 17, 2005

WE BURIED HIM

We buried my father's ashes today, on what would have been his and Aunt Margie's 81st birthday. Today is also the fourth anniversary of my first date with one of the most significant men in my life.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

SWEET HOME SARASOTA

Arrived here yesterday after a flight which would have made Blessed Theresa of Calcutta into a homicidal maniac. Met one of the guys from Saturday's party at Reagan National and got a call about another one this weekend, George, Hope, Chris and Rob sent flowers, as did Aunt Margie and Aunt Mary. Got a call about a litter of baby pigs in Dale City.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

HILTON #1

Paris Hilton is #1 of the latest Lycos 50.
WHAT A DIFFERENCE TWO YEARS MAKES

Two years ago today we got at least a foot of snow and my father had his stroke. I still had a grandmother then, but no pigs. Today it's supposed to go up to about 60 degrees and I'm flying to Florida for my father's memorial service.

Monday, February 14, 2005

VALENTINE'S DAY

This is probably about the worst Valentine's Day ever. The weather has been horrible (talk about darkness at noon) and I am flying to Florida for my father's memorial service tomorrow. Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras are two events that take place when I don't feel like celebrating. Christmas and New Year's are over and it's the kind of weather that makes one want to hibernate. When your pig is dead and the two guys you're most interested in don't return your e-mails it sucks even more.

One good thing about Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras are the little splashes of color. I wore a red dress for the first time since my father's death. I've worn red shirts, socks and underwear since then, but not dresses. It was the same dress I wore the day of the robbery.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, February 13, 2005

FUNERAL BLUES II

A reprise from January 13, 2004. Maybe it's normal to want the world to share your grief.
THE GRAMMYS ARE GOOD ENOUGH

The Grammy Awards will be broadcast at 8PM Eastern time on CBS. Big Whoop.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

HEY, GOD

You took away my job and the three I am working now to pay the mortgage don't equal the one I lost. With the exception of two, all the men you've sent my way have been poor excuses, you took my grandmother, my father and now my pig. What's next?

Friday, February 11, 2005

LIGHTNING DIED

My darling Lightning died about three hours ago, probably from cancer. Fridays are not good days.

janedoe@seductive.com
FIFTEEN WEEKS

Fifteen weeks since my father died. And I am still trying not to crash. The wind is howling outside, which makes everything sound more forlorn and I lost about three pounds in bodily fluids in two days.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, February 10, 2005

CHARLES AND CAMILLA

I have been very tired and in a lot of pain for the past day, so I stayed home from work, woke up to find out Prince Charles is marrying Camilla Parker-Bowles and she will be the Duchess of Cornwall. I'm glad things are working out for somebody.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

GUNG HEE FAT CHOY

Today begins the Chinese New Year of the Cock. As Hope said on January 2, if you eat noodles in the New Year it will bring riches. Today is Ash Wednesday, but eating shrimp or vegetable lo mein doesn't violate any Lenten observations. Sally sez the holiday lasts four days, so we can still eat meat on Thursday and Saturday.

janedoe@seductive.com
LENT SUCKS!

It's perfect Lenten weather, overcast, but at least not rainy or snowy. Kind of like my mood. Didn't do the charcoal-on-the-forehead thing. Saw a bald guy with ashes on his forehead -- thought it was a tattoo. A year a go on Ash Wednesday Dad had a fall -- Mom had to drag him across the living room, part of a long, downward spiral.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

HILTON #1

Paris Hilton is #1 of the Lycos 50.
LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ!

It's unseasonably nice weather for Mardi Gras, we can pretend we're in New Orleans (or Rio or Trinidad). A nice day to get ice cream. My cookie had no fortune in it, so someone else probably got two. I'd like to think that's all there is to it.

Monday, February 07, 2005

NAME THAT PIG

Gee, there's a site for everything.

janedoe@seductive.com
THE DAY AFTER

Yeah, I actually watched part of the Superbowl. It was almost, but not quite, what one of my high school teammates referred to as a "heart attack game." MSN reviews all of the spots. The one with MC Hammer was stupid. My favorites were Fed Ex and Go Daddy.com.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, February 06, 2005

PATS BEAT BIRDS

The Patriots beat the Eagles 24-21. I would have thought so, even though I was rooting for the Eagles.

PATS VS BIRDS

Superbowl XXXIX will be telecast on the Fox Network at 6:30 PM Eastern Time. I am rooting for the Eagles. Mom's going with Lillian to see David Copperfield at Van Wezel.
FOUR YEARS AGO TODAY

Four years ago today I met one of the great loves of my life. I could not have looked or felt worse the day I met him, yet he found me attractive. One year ago last month he told me to forget I ever met him, so I did, for about three months. The card I drew for today was The Lovers.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

STRESS TEST

The Scientologists are giving free stress tests today. Not sure whether they measure how much stress you're under or how much you can handle. Either way I would pass with flying colors.

Friday, February 04, 2005

FOURTEEN WEEKS

It's been fourteen weeks since my father died. I am trying not to crash completely.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, February 03, 2005

ANOTHER PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

If you missed President Bush's State of the Union Address, click here.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

The president's State of the Union Address takes place at 9PM Eastern Time tonight. Most of the networks will air it. The bad news is we will have four more years of Bush.

janedoe@seductive.com
GROUNDHOG'S DAY

Today is Groundhog's Day. Thunder is the closest I can come to a real or fake groundhog.

janedoe@seductive.com
POPE HOSPITALIZED

Italy is under a huge flu epidemic and Pope John Paul II is in a Roman hospital. Looking at him is like seeing my father sick all over again.

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

WHAT'S NEW AT THE ZOO

Or other places in town. Starting today DC has a
new paper.
HOW DO YOU BREW?

Meet the First State Brewers.
HILTON #1

Paris Hilton is #1 of the latest Lycos 50.