SUCH A BEAUTIFUL EVENING

Too beautiful to work. 

I DREAMT I NEEDED MORE SURGERY

But at least I had enough crutches. 

janedoe@seductive.com

I'M SO TIRED I THREW THE REMOTE INTO THE PIG PEN

At least neither pigs nor remote were hurt. 

AFTER MORE THAN 20 YEARS OF SERVING CHINESE FOOD NORTH SEA IN ADAMS MORGAN NOW ONLY SERVES SUSHI (NOT SURE IF THEY SERVE OTHER JAPANESE FOOD) AND POKE BOWLS.

Don't think I'll be going there too often. 

janedoe@seductive.com

ARE YOU SEEING A PATTERN HERE?

HURRICANE STEVE HARVEY

SOME FOODS I SWEAR THEY PUT CRACK INTO AS I CAN'T STOP EATING THEM:

1) Starbucks egg bites
2) Starbucks lemon chiffon yoghurt
3) Newman's own salad dressing
4) Popeye's red beans and rice. 
5) Taco Bell XXL burritos 
6) KFC 
7)Torani Almond Roca syrup 
8) Sanders hot fudge sauce
9) Char siu sauce

janedoe@seductive.com

Old Home Night at the Town Tavern!

I GOTTA START EATING AT BETTER PLACES

Last night at Mac's there was hair on the counter. This morning there was fecal matter on the toilet seat at Starbucks. Major Garrett told he the same thing years ago. I think he was also the one who told me I should move out of Prince George's County. 

MAMA ALWAYS TOLD ME NOT TO LOOK INTO THE SIGHTS OF THE SUN

Oh, but Mama, that's where the fun is: 

janedoe@seductive.com

THIS COUPLE DID WHAT I WANT TO DO

Total Eclipse of the Heart:

janedoe@seductive.com

SAW THE ECLIPSE

It actually looked kind of like this: 

janedoe@seductive.com

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN ECLIPSE TOMORROW

JERRY LEWIS DEAD AT 91

In order to make me stop sucking my thumb my dad told me if I didn't stop I'd talk like Jerry Lewis. With 20/20 hindsight the guy was a millionaire if not a billionaire....

HABLEMOS ESPAÑOL! TAMBIEN INGLÉS!

St. Matthew's Cathedral is offering English and Spanish classes. To take or teach a class call Theresa Prymuszewski at 202-587-5139 or email tprymuszewski@stmatthewscathederal.org . 

SOMEONE JUMPED INFRONT OF A TRAIN AT THE WOODLEY PARK METRO STATION

Expect delays #WMATA

janedoe@seductive.com

At least 12 dead in Barcelona

MY "BEEFS" WITH FOOD TRUCKS

If we can say "beefs" but not "fruits," "vegetables" etc.


 1) They are not much cheaper than brick and mortar places.
 2) Not many opportunities to sit down or even eat comfortably standing.
3) They offer weird "fusions" like Korean tacos, Lebanese doughnuts, Jamaican sushi or Ice cream and meatballs.

AT MEDSTAR PROMPTCARE

Having this looked at:

The sole of the foot is a weird place for a mole. 

janedoe@seductive.com

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF THE ASSUMPTION

Went to mass for the first time since Uncle Joe's funeral. They sang this: 

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY

A big one. My cake:

The two things I've decided to do: 1)Start saving for a new home. Again. At my age. 2) Start saving for my retirement. Again. I did start saving for both when I was 30 or 31 years old, maybe even sooner--stocks, bonds, mutual funds, passbook savings. Now it's almost all gone.

MY DISCOVER CARD ARRIVED

There was so much packaging involved it didn't fit into my mailbox--it was delivered as a package. It was the size of a small book. No wonder we pay so much in credit card fees.

State of emergency in Charlottesville

DAVID ESSEL REFERRED TO A WOMAN AS BEING A "CATCH."

One of his Facebook friends put it well when he wrote "My line has no hook. I have no bucket of water for her to flop around in. I would love to dance the dance with her in the great ocean of time however."

SAD

I heard this on a TV spot for an emphysema drug. As Texcavy said, “inhale as deeply as you can and hold it in your lungs as long as possible. Exhale. Hand the inhaler to the person next to you.” >Sigh<

janedoe@seductive.com

MY NEW CREDIT CARD ARRIVED IN THE MAIL

Life goes on.

BIG RIG BUDDIES

See Big Rig Buddies 2017 Giveaway

Omnitracs is one of our sponsors!

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE MAN WHO CAN'T REMEMBER JOKES:

A joke book.

H had a friend who could not even TELL a joke, even when she was being coached, let alone remember one. It was incredible.

janedoe@seductive.com

ROLLIN' IN THE DEEP

This is pretty accurate:

For all you hear about the dark web (or dark net, deep web) It's really not that exciting--broken links and slow downloads. Apparently it's like being in someone's basement or store room--lots of academic, government and corporate stuff or stuff you can even find on the surface web. One person said you might as well call it the dull web. I did a search of my own name on Duck Duck Go and didn't find anything I wouldn't find on Google, Bing etc. 

THIS DOCTOR IS AN ASSHOLE

Totally unsympathetic to his patient's situation. It's because of medical professionals like him that people don't go to doctors in the first place and don't take their medications, stick to their diets etc. (I am prediabetic).


janedoe@seductive.com

Wow, my Uber driver had actually heard of me.

Got a chance to do something indirectly for a network that fucked me over more than eight years ago.

janedoe@seductive.com

Spent most of the day in bed.

janedoe@seductive.com

"COOL ROOMMATE WANTED"

I can't tell you how many ads I have seen looking for "cool" roommates. "Cool" is codeword for under 35, preferably under 30. I am begging people young enough to be my children to take my money in return for the privilege of sitting on a couch I normally wouldn't want to sit on. One of the pig people wrote "I do know what you mean about kids thinking they have a 'cool' place to rent. No it isn't cool, trendy, hip and new but that's another story. I (like you) am the responsible middle aged renter who would NOT sit on that sofa if you paid me, not even with newspaper under me because the ick would just crawl over the newspaper. You want to be "cool" get a vinyl or leather sofa so you can regularly clean the 'cool' off the sofa."