Secret Service guys are hot. ‪

Went to the Correspondents Dinner

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY

Pepino is two years old today. See how tiny he was? 

And see how much weight I've lost since then: 

janedoe@seductive.com

Happy Passover!

janedoe@seductive.com

Why would anyone want to be a proctologist?

THINGS ARE JACKED UP.

Got referred to an anorectal surgeon. 

janedoe@seductive.com

THIS IS HOW I FEEL

Except for diarrhea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu0lqVhnt9U

Gallbladder must be acting up.

janedoe@seductive.com

I am bummed.

Red Line trains shut down from Bethesda to Van Ness.

Bloody fucking Metro. I went more than seven hours without swearing. Then I had to deal with WMATA

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. GEORGE

St. George (Martyr): The martyr St. George is well known because of the many popular legends about him; the historical facts about his life, however, are less well known and much more prosaic than the myths suggest. George lived in the third or fourth century, and was probably martyred about 303 in the Palestinian city of Lydda. It …

Gorgeous Tattoos

See http://gemmstars.com/0224d2d0cab74a

Fulfilled my Easter duty.

Prednisone withdrawal is no fun.

Pink moon of...

Jane Doe's 'Hood

We talked about the Jerk in class this morning

Animals

I interned at this station: http://abcnews.go.com/US/delaware-high-school-students-dies-fight-classmates/story?id=38572715

The artist known as Prince, AKA Symbol Boy is dead at age 57.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/21/475133745/a-death-is-reported-at-prince-s-paisley-park-estate-in-minnesota?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20160421

You would have heard about him dying sooner if Starbucks, Panera, Xfinity and the DC Public Library didn't have such $hitty Wifi. 

WOODLEY PARK

Been hocking up green stuff.

View to a...

Very tired.

Georgetown

POPE VISITS LESBIANS

See http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/17/world/europe/pope-francis-visits-lesbos-heart-of-europes-refugee-crisis.html

COIN TOSS

Which surgery do I do next--my gallbladder or my other foot? 

janedoe@seductive.com

Talk about your throwback Thursdays

I feel as though I had just swallowed sand. Or a porcupine.

Beans for Brains is Right

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/starbucks-apologizes-after-baristas-diabetes-joke-irks-customer-2016-04-12

I am now only four pounds overweight

janedoe@seductive.com

wow it feels more like spring than it did yesterday. Or Sunday.

Feeling weird.

janedoe@seductive.com

Footsteps behind me on the sidewalk still evoke scary memories.

Wow, got out of work while the sun was still shining. Brightly. 

OH, LORD

I'm bored out of my gourd. 

Come  dancing: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JiKgQYxUnTs

DC TAXI SYSTEM WAS HACKED EARLIER, RUNNING OK NOW.

Had to pay cash coming in to work. The real story is not this but the absolute HELL one goes through trying to get a human being. 

I AM A PRACTICING CATHOLIC

That is, I'm not too good at it so I need more practice. But I wonder if anyone gets it really right?

ONE WEIRD DAY

Woke up around 11PM to find a text from my boss and a voicemail message from a TV reporter in Portland. Good thing I checked my messages. 

janedoe@seductive.com

MALAISE? LAMENTATION? DENOUEMENT?

Walked past the robbery site

The last last call at Millie & Al's

Throwback Thursday--me and "baby" Pandora, 2005 #throwbackthursday #tbt 

Cool as a ...

My first

The boys of summer

A sight one doesn't often see

13 years ago today I adopted my darling Lightning.

My O2 sTs were down to 91%

Dixie

Sauna'ed in the hope of killing the bad stuff in my body. Killing the bad stuff in my brain is tougher. 

PULLING OFF A BAND-AID

“she went slowly home, feeling as if she had murdered some innocent thing, and buried it under the leaves…Oh dear! How can girls like to have lovers and refuse them? I think it's dreadful…Then Laurie straightened himself up, said, It's all right, never mind, and went away without another word. Ah, but it wasn't all right, and Jo did mind, for while the curly head lay on her arm a minute after her hard answer, she felt as if she had stabbed her dearest friend.”

janedoe@seductive.com

DOCTOR, DOCTOR

It doesn't even need to be that. I could just as easily be on a couch eating something warm or cold. 

IT'S LIKE RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

Just as I change scumcast  plans the old service improves.

HOW DOES WMATA SUCK? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

Those bastards may close entire Metro lines for over a month. Of course they can afford to DRIVE to work: http://www.thehoya.com/metro-anticipates-potential-closure

janedoe@seductive.com

The Villanova Wildcats took this year's NCAA title.

janedoe@seductive.com

NOTHING A BAG OF RINGER'S SOLUTION WOULDN'T CURE

And a nap. 

A TRAIN HIT A BACKHOE IN CHESTER

I used to live, work and go to school near there: http://6abc.com/news/2-dead-in-amtrak-train-accident-in-chester;-service-suspended/1274225

IT'S 48 DEGREES OUTSIDE AND THEY HAVE THE AIR CONDITIONER ON.

According to Wunderground.com it's supposed to go up to 71 tomorrow and back down to 30. I kid you not. This morning we had some of the strongest wind I can remember--darn near blew me over to one side. Being on a crutch and carrying a heavy backpack don't help. 

ONE HAS TO LEARN ALL KINDS OF THINGS

Wrist lock technique, for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h442I6BF5zQ&app=desktop

BTW, the Boardroom on Connecticut Avenue is looking for bouncers.

Also, a scholarship for those interested in the restaurant industry: http://www.educatedeats.org

So many bars, restaurants going under. Reminds me of what Artie Bucco said on the Sopranos: "The restaurant business is like keeping an elephant. It costs a fortune, and sooner or later, it shits on your head."

THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE

The foot care section at CVS has products I never would have thought of, especially toe-oriented. There are toe wraps, toe protectors, toe sleeves, spacers and separators. It is even more mystifying than the feminine care section and I’m a woman.

FORTY YEARS AGO TODAY...

...my uncle Owen Franks died of lung cancer at age 48. He loved sports, kept in great shape and hardly drank at all but he was a HEAVY smoker. Unfiltered Kools, I think. A couple months ago his daughter wrote “He was way ahead of his time on the cool scale. He wore his hair longer than most men, wore blue jeans into the Beverly Hilton Hotel, wore moccasins before people thought they were cool. He loved sports on tv. He'd watch 2 tvs on Saturday to see two college games at one time. He died before we owned a microwave oven, cable tv, a vcr, a walk man, a home computer, picture in picture tv, the internet, car phones, cell phones, ipods just to name a few. He missed all three of his kids’ weddings, he missed knowing his grandchildren. It's shocking to me that he's been gone almost FORTY years. IF by chance you still smoke, please consider stopping. You will never know the loss your kids and spouse will have when you leave too soon.”

And now I am dealing with two more. 

TWO THINGS I WISH WERE APRIL FOOL'S JOKES

1) The possibility of Metro closing down entire lines for a month at a time. 
2) The reality of Millie & Al's closing on April 7th. 

THE BURNING

One would think people would get this checked anyway: http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-feel-the-burn-sanders-campaign-slogan-becomes-ad-for-std-testing-20160401-htmlstory.html

LUCKY THIRTEEN

It was thirteen years ago this month I started blogging. As Walter Miller says I have been writing this for a long time already: http://www.oocities.org/heartland/prairie/9179/walter.htm

and http://drunkenbum.com/wmhp/y8a.htm

Hopefully less than a week until I get my biopsy results.

IT'S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK

Maybe even a rough two or three weeks starting at the hospital. Everything seems to be going wrong so I have spent most of the last two or three days at home doing very little.

janedoe@seductive.com