Jane Doe's Blog: 11/01/2015

Monday, November 30, 2015

THE GOAT MAN COMETH

North Carolina's version of the Bunny Man: http://myfox8.com/2015/11/29/goatman-stories-take-over-the-internet-was-mythical-creature-reported-in-nc

janedoe@seductive.com

Just heard one of House's patients being referred to as a self-hating fat person.

janedoe@seductive.com

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY!

Three years ago this month I adopted my wonderful Patapsco from the Baltimore Humane Society. Darling, I'm sorry I can't provide better for you and Pepino:

janedoe@seductive.com

Today is the feast of St Andrew

See https://www.catholiccompany.com/getfed/st-andrews-christmas-novena-november-30

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Today Is the first Sunday of Advent

THANKSGIVING IS CERTAINLY A DIVISIVE HOLIDAY

If you wish people Happy Thanksgiving and eat turkey you are condoning the killing of indigineous peoples and turkeys. If you suggest Walmart employees (or any others) go to work because Thanksgiving's not that special and neither are they, you're evil, too. I did both.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

THIS IS ALL I BOUGHT ON FOR SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY

I got them both at Rodman's Drugstore on Wisconsin Avenue. Ok, I did go to the Steel Plate after work.

THIS IS HOW I FEEL

TODAY IS SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY--SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESSES!

Friday, November 27, 2015

STRANGE BUT TRUE

Hebrew tattoos: http://www.hebrew-tattoos.com

I still want one that says "wonton soup" in Chinese.

janedoe@seductive.com

MY ONLY BLACK FRIDAY PURCHASE

With the exception of the $2.00 I paid for a train ticket:

janedoe@seductive.com

I'm dreaming of a Black Friday...

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, November 26, 2015

IT'S OFFICIAL

Thanksgiving dinner is over and the Christmas season is underway. And it wouldn't be complete without Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgIwLeASnkw

I AM CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE, LITTLE BE IT OR MUCH

John Bunyan

Here are pictures of my Thanksgiving dinner.

To some people it might seem like a sucky dinner and yes, I've had better, but it still could be much worse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCvZdE5JqH0

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD

P helped me up the steps and kissed my hand. You don't see much of that on a night like tonight.

janedoe@seductive.com

I SHOULD PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH

janedoe@seductive.com

REALLY, SUNTRUST?

This afternoon your "personal banker" seemed more interested in her sandwich than in me. After 21 years of business with you I deserve better than that. There is a Wells Fargo on one side of the street and a BB and T on the other. Even if I'm allowed to open a new account with you I'm not sure I will.

janedoe@seductive.com

So many years of late nights and overnites messes your head up

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

TALKING TURKEY

I’ve heard more Americans are traveling more than 50 miles from home than they have in years. Judging by our work schedule that doesn’t appear true. Also I heard 40 per cent of Americans don’t take vacation. I want to know what constitutes “vacation.” Is it the traditional one or two weeks at the shore, paid? Not so for a lot of us. Some of us can’t afford it, others are afraid it will give their boss an excuse to demote/fire them.

Is it a series of long weekends? Is it a staycation? In my opinion religious holidays/life events spent with relatives do not a vacation make.

It also amazes me that people actually have to look up Thanksgiving conversation starters on the web. What kind of family CAN’T think of stuff to talk about: http://www.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/holidays/thanksgiving/thanksgiving-conversation-starters

Better yet, here is a list of things NOT to talk about. That’s more like it: http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/15-conversation-topics-to-avoid-at-thanksgiving-dinner

RIP KAY DIX

Mother of Kathy Dix Haskins, Gretchen Dix Schofield, Maggie Dix, Hope Hope Hohmann and John Dix, Junior.

Monday, November 23, 2015

A CAPITAL OFFENSE

Capitals fans are the worst! Again, healthy-looking young people are taking up train seats meant for senior citizens/people with disabilities. Fail.

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Women Never Really Faint

And children aren't the only ones who blush. And life isn't just to die

Paraphrased from Lou Reed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrMLt9bMd_I

Going to high school when I did being referred to as "Sweet Jane" is preferable to "Jane, you ignorant slut."

MY FANBASE IS EXPANDING

Maybe someday it will include people with money. And a place to live.

WAIT FOR ME

One of Hall and Oates' lesser known efforts. CREEM magazine described it as "Lovely" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5zkHLp24Gis

YEAH...

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST CECILIA

We had Sister Marie Cecile in elementary school and a Sister Cecile Marie at Immaculata: http://catholicexchange.com/saint-cecilia

I AM GETTING SICK OF SPAMMERS/SCAMMERS

So I posted this on Craigslist: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/lss/5327789113.html

"Boarfume

100% Pure Therapeutic Sensual Full-body Eau De Boar -- volume discount available"

And this: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/lss/5327810127.html

"Learn To Weave Baskets!

Experienced teacher (female) with masterâ€™s degree in basket weaving. Speaks Albanian and Vietnamese. $40.00 per 45-minute session."

IT'S ALL RELATIVE

"The two ugly ones, Marty and Laverne, weren't sisters but they got very insulting when I asked them. You could tell neither one wanted to look like the other one, you couldn't blame them, but it was very amusing anyway"

S had a weird classmate with the same last name. Others presumed he was her brother. When she told them he wasn't they said "you're lucky."

Mom, H and I were having dinner at the Oyster Bar with H and the server cheerfully asked "so I guess we have three generations here?" I imagine H was insulted that the woman thought she looked old enough to be Mom's mom (she did). I was insulted that she thought H and I were related, period. Don't remember what Mom tipped her.

FEED THE CHILDREN (AND THE ADULTS)

From the Cleveland Park Listserv:

"Thousands of un-carved pumpkins are thrown away after Halloween. But un-carved pumpkins are not just decorations, they are very nutritious food. You don't have to waste them, you can rescue them!

On Sunday, November 29, 2015, 11am - 3pm, please bring your *un-carved* pumpkins to Chevy Chase Community Center, 5601 Connecticut Ave NW (in the back).

Some neighbors have arranged for DC Central Kitchen and the Mid Atlantic Gleaning Network to pick them up, and combined they can accept about 420 pumpkins."

Is it wrong that the majority of my Netflix/Hulu viewing consists of House, Breaking Bad and the X Files?

HEARD FOOTSTEPS BEHIND ME NEAR THE ROBBERY SITE

Turned out to be a parking enforcement officer.

SO TRUE

Saturday, November 21, 2015

IT'S GONNA TAKE ME A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQbiNvZqaY

WHAT A BRAVE MAN

He is truly an inspiration to us all:

THIS IS A GOOD WAY TO START THE DAY

Friday, November 20, 2015

IT'S AMAZING

Ok, Aerosmith said that before I did. It seems when I do something I think qualifies me for sainthood people blow it off, but when I do what I think is the normal thing to do (giving directions to strangers, wishing peeps a happy birthday, etc) people say that is "nice of me" or that I have a "good heart." Go figure.

janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, November 19, 2015

LOVE STORY

Okay:

1) I didn't know he was gay.

2) We were both dating other people.

3) He was a talk show guest.

4) We met in the unemployment office.

5) He saved my life. That's enough.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE

"When he's away for a week I nearly go wild...And when he comes back I cry on his lap like a baby..."

Tennessee Williams

Sure Stanley Kowalski is boorish, uneducated, violent even. Yet I can understand how Stella loves him, at least in the beginning of the movie and the play and at the end of the play.

janedoe@seductive.com

I AM REALLY BUMMING

People who don't look older much than me don't remember the Air Florida jet hitting the 14th St. Bridge in 1982.

janedoe@seductive.com

WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT FROM CHARLIE HEBDO?

"They have weapons. Fuck them. We have champagne!"

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

AH, LEAH!

In kabbalah class tonight we heard about Jacob and Rachel and how Jacob worked for seven years, thinking he would get to marry her but instead ended up with her less-favoured sister, Leah. Sure, it sucked for Jacob and Rachel, but think of how Leah felt, being a second choice.

BTW, Ah, Leah is a fantastic song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH5Arbm47IQ

SO STUPID IT'S FUNNY

Some of the winners: Jurassic Bacon, Like Bacon for Chocolate, Willie Wonka and the Bacon Factory, A Fistful of Bacon and The Bacon Seal.

Bacon DOES make a lot of things better.

WATCHING HOUSEWHO HAS A PATIENT WITH A BROKEN TOE.

She didn't scream as loud as I did.

A GOOD THING I SAVED MY MIX JACKET

HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN?

Yesterday was the feast of my patroness:

http://catholicexchange.com/st-margaret-of-scotland

Monday, November 16, 2015

Sunday, November 15, 2015

I'M JUST SIPPIN' ON CAMOMILE

"Watching boys and girls and their sex appeal..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt1YkGO2Ieo

Bought veggies for the pigs.

My mom is in the hospital.

I NEEDED TO SEE THIS

RIP AUSTIN HILL

Sorry to make this sound like a deathblog.

IN LOVING MEMORY

Norman Ralston's memorial wake from 2-3:30 PM Eastern today. First drink is free: http://littlefountaincafe.com/_index.php

Saturday, November 14, 2015

From what I hear working in a car wash must be the most awful job one could have.

THIS IS UNFORTUNATELY ALL-TOO-COMMON IN ADAMS MORGAN

Unfortunately some people think it's cute/funny: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPXUG8q4jKU

STARBUCKS HAS THE RIGHT IDEA

It's not Starbucks' job to spread the good news of Christ, it's ours. Unfortunately I'm not doing such a good job: http://catholicexchange.com/dont-let-those-starbucks-cups-make-you-see-red

WE CAN'T EVEN BLAME THE HOLIDAYS YET

But I think I am actually losing weight. As Emily Blunt said in The Devil Wears Prada, "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight."

HOLD ON

Flo is annoying and when I get a car I won't get Progressive Insurance. But this spot is funny: http://nypost.com/2015/11/13/carnie-wilson-peed-in-her-seat-when-she-saw-the-end-of-bridesmaids

And there's the Dan Band version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brLhiEH2luw

ST GENEVIEVE

Priez pour Paris: http://uploads0.wikiart.org/images/pierre-puvis-de-chavannes/st-genevieve-bringing-supplies-to-the-city-of-paris-after-the-siege.jpg

When I was a little girl my mom read to me about St. Genevieve, patroness of Paris.

France is in a state of emergency

Friday, November 13, 2015

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST FRANCES CABRINI

She was the first US citizen to become a saint: http://catholicexchange.com/st-frances-xavier-cabrini

Today is also the feast of St. Stanislaus Kostka, invoked against broken bones.

THIS SONG ALWAYS MAKES ME SMILE

And it's 40 years old:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d7nOO4BeG54

Ok, the song, not the video. But the video is over twenty years old.

janedoe@seductive.com

Earthquake in Japan, now at least six attacks in Paris, 100 dead

janedoe@seductive.com

Violence in Paris

CNN reports at least 43 dead.

Janedoe@seductive.com

I MIGHT GET VIOLENT

Two people are laughing like hyenas and two others won't turn their cell phones off.

janedoe@seductive.com

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

In the MLK, Jr. Library. People are hacking, barking, blowing their noses...

Janedoe@seductive.com

Thursday, November 12, 2015

GOTTA LOVE THE DC POLICE

One of the pulled up to me on my way home and asked if I was ok.

ISN'T IT IRONIC?

Life has a funny way of helping you out, even twenty years later: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GVJpOmaDyU

RIP Norman Ralston

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Jack Diamond Show Returns To WRQX

janedoe@seductive.com

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

Bring your military ID to any California Tortilla and get a free taco: http://californiatortilla.com

janedoe@seductive.com

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

I hope you find peace.

WOW

I realize I used that word a lot. Two people are apparently out of my life. At least for now.

Monday, November 09, 2015

I LOVE THIS SPOT

"Representative. Representative:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBFjs1TObfU

And then there's "bank account! Bank account!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzsyN6G1id8

janedoe@seductive.com

Sunday, November 08, 2015

There is something sweet about a Sunday night in Adams Morgan.

FURRY RIDER

Bunny bugs MBTA: http://www.necn.com/news/new-england/FURRY-RIDER-Bunny-Hops-On-MBTA-342699182.html

CHEF GEOFF'S HAS CLOSED ITS ROCKVILLE LOCATION

Chef Geoff is concerned about his displaced staff. If you know of any job openings, his web site is: http://www.chefgeoff.com

WEIRD SCIENCE

I took this and scored 20 out of 35 the first time: http://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/everyday-myths/bad-science-quiz.htm

SINCE SEPTEMBER 5, 2013 I HAVE WORN OUT FOUR CRUTCHES.

Either that or I have worn out the same crutch four times.

DO YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH WMATA?

Here's your chance to do something about it: http://www.wmata.com/about_metro/news/PressReleaseDetail.cfm?ReleaseID=5987

BELIEVE IT OR NOT I DO NOT HAVE MAGICAL POWERS

I am not all-wise, all-knowing, all-seeing...

OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING....

"Oh, What a Beautiful Day..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LdIL5WCso8

Saturday, November 07, 2015

THIS DOESN'T JUST APPLY TO PEOPLE

It can also apply to pets, jobs, things...

I GUESS I'M NOT AS STRONG AS I USED TO BE

But you've heard that already. I LOVE this song--gorgeous instrumentals. Christine McVie is so incredibly cool: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrU1Zg0wugE

THE MEDSTAR TRANSPORT PEOPLE REALLY HAVE NERVE.

The driver was about 25 minutes late and when I called to complain the dispatcher said "it's only about two miles." Never mind I had been waiting about forty minutes at THEIR request.

I HAVE ISSUES WITH FALL

It's between summer and winter. Everything's drying up and becoming dormant if not outrightly dying. Some days it's nice and warm but not really warm enough. And I'm allergic to leaf mould. I wish it would stay warm or get cold already.

JANE DOE'S BLING

Just fooling around with Blingee:

I LOVE THIS--JUST FOUND IT THE OTHER DAY

Mad Mensch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCvZdE5JqH0

GREEK TO ME

My Mom's not Greek, but I can relate to the part about mothers telling embarrassing stories: http://matadornetwork.com/life/17-differences-normal-mom-greek-mom

The woman who posted this had the maiden name of Flamporis.

MAYBE I'M GOING DEAF...

I guess it's challenging translating "hey, hey, hey"and instrumental intros into ASL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g55cED3CckQ

I CAN IDENTIFY WITH THE GROUNDHOG

At least four more weeks on crutches.

Friday, November 06, 2015

HELP SAVE CATHOLIC EXCHANGE

See https://secure.acceptiva.com/?cst=7fb7ca&utm_source=CE%20Donation&utm_medium=PopUp&utm_campaign=CEDonationPopUp

I'M IMPROVING

Instead of screaming like a bitch at the podiatrist's I just squeaked.

janedoe@seductive.com

GREY MORNING

Grey Day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPeU3XgeUaw&app=desktop

janedoe@seductive.com

DODGED ANOTHER BULLET LAST NIGHT

A bus driver lost control around Connecticut Avenue and Florida and ran into a sidewalk, knocking a trash container off its mounting. Lucky for me I got a late start on my way to the Phillips Gallery.

janedoe@seductive.com