Dude was selling them near Metro Center.
janedoe@seductive.com
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
FEELING CHEATED
I didn't get to see any of this week's celestial events due to the clouds. It's that way a lot. One of few celestial events that lived up to its hype was the Hale Bopp Comet.
Monday, September 28, 2015
HAD A TOOTH PULLED
It broke originally in 1986 and at least three dentists
worked on it, so you can’t say we didn’t try to save it. For the last several
years my body had been rejecting it and I was afraid to eat, chew, talk too
much etc. So I had it yanked today. The shots hurt worse than the extraction
itself. And having the podiatrist cut skin off my foot earlier didn’t make it
any better.
Still, I feel bad—it was part of my body. Now the thing to do is worry about replacing
it. Last thing I want is to be called a gap toothed bitch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR528E5_8yI
BUY THE BOOK
Under This Roof by Paul Brandus: http://www.amazon.com/dp/149300834X/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_mCocwb0NNT862
janedoe@seductive.com
ETA: I have an autographed copy and love it!
janedoe@seductive.com
ETA: I have an autographed copy and love it!
SAW THE PODIATRIST
This time he made me scream by trimming some skin off both feet and stretching my toes. He doesn't want me driving or taking the bus/train. Mom is not happy about my flying so no trip to Pennsylvania this year.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
THE JOY LUCK CLUB
I know, yesterday I blogged about The Good Earth. The Joy Luck Club is a 1993 movie based on the 1989 novel by California-born Amy Tan. Here is a Russian site with the English text: http://www.nelli-ganenko.narod.ru/000004_0.html
Sometimes if you're lucky you can find foreign web sites with the text of entire English books for free.
The book (and the movie) tell the stories of four Chinese women, their American-born daughters and how the mothers' pasts affect their daughters' lives. Of the four daughters the one I would most like to be like is Waverly--a former famous child prodigy, beautiful, successful and engaged to a hot white guy (she originally married a Chinese guy to please her mother, Lindo, but it didn't work out).
The two to whom I can most relate are An Mei and her daughter, Rose. For years An Mei is cheated out of the rights that belong to the daughter of the woman who bore her stepfather a son. Later, Rose is married to a hot, rich white guy (do you see a pattern here?) yet she is unable to assert herself. Ted, the husband, gets bored with her and starts cheating. An Mei asks Rose why she doesn't see what she is worth and Rose says "I like being tragic, Ma, I learned it from you."
On a side not, in the movie Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Kumar derisively refers to an Asian American student group as "the Joy Luck Club." A Korean character, Cindy Kim is smitten with Harold while Harold is attracted to an ostensibly Hispanic woman named Maria. He tells Kumar he is probably going to end up with Cindy Kim anyway, though.
Sometimes if you're lucky you can find foreign web sites with the text of entire English books for free.
The book (and the movie) tell the stories of four Chinese women, their American-born daughters and how the mothers' pasts affect their daughters' lives. Of the four daughters the one I would most like to be like is Waverly--a former famous child prodigy, beautiful, successful and engaged to a hot white guy (she originally married a Chinese guy to please her mother, Lindo, but it didn't work out).
The two to whom I can most relate are An Mei and her daughter, Rose. For years An Mei is cheated out of the rights that belong to the daughter of the woman who bore her stepfather a son. Later, Rose is married to a hot, rich white guy (do you see a pattern here?) yet she is unable to assert herself. Ted, the husband, gets bored with her and starts cheating. An Mei asks Rose why she doesn't see what she is worth and Rose says "I like being tragic, Ma, I learned it from you."
On a side not, in the movie Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Kumar derisively refers to an Asian American student group as "the Joy Luck Club." A Korean character, Cindy Kim is smitten with Harold while Harold is attracted to an ostensibly Hispanic woman named Maria. He tells Kumar he is probably going to end up with Cindy Kim anyway, though.
WWJND
Really, we can't be 100% sure of EVERYTHING Jesus would or would not do, but he wouldn't manipulate people into forwarding emails or sharing posts....
TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. VINCENT DEPAUL
They named a soup kitchen after him: http://catholicexchange.com/st-vincent-de-paul
JUNIPERO SERRA HAS BEEN CANNONIZED
See http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/24/us/pilgrims-gather-in-washington-to-see-pope-francis-canonize-junipero-serra.html
Native Americans aren't happy about this because they say contributed to their genocide and trashed their culture.
I guess it's been long enough since his death. I don't think John Paul II should have been canonized so soon after his death, nor should Mother Teresa of Calcutta for a number of reasons:
1) She supported oppressive governments
2) She accepted donations from dubious sources
3) When poor people ran after her begging for money she told them to be grateful that they had limbs with which to walk (At least that's what I heard in high school)
4) She would not accept air conditioners or washing machines for her centers, saying the people's suffering should be glorified. She even refused donations of penicillin and her clinics were reportedly substandard to say the least.
4) Although her many of the people in her homes received questionable care she herself went to some of the finest doctors.
So who's next? Anne Frank? Harriet Tubman? Rosa Parks? Mohandas Gandhi?
Native Americans aren't happy about this because they say contributed to their genocide and trashed their culture.
I guess it's been long enough since his death. I don't think John Paul II should have been canonized so soon after his death, nor should Mother Teresa of Calcutta for a number of reasons:
1) She supported oppressive governments
2) She accepted donations from dubious sources
3) When poor people ran after her begging for money she told them to be grateful that they had limbs with which to walk (At least that's what I heard in high school)
4) She would not accept air conditioners or washing machines for her centers, saying the people's suffering should be glorified. She even refused donations of penicillin and her clinics were reportedly substandard to say the least.
4) Although her many of the people in her homes received questionable care she herself went to some of the finest doctors.
So who's next? Anne Frank? Harriet Tubman? Rosa Parks? Mohandas Gandhi?
Saturday, September 26, 2015
THE LITTLE SISTERS OF THE POOR
Pope Francis paid them an unscheduled visit. Apparently they really ARE little--not sure if there's a height requirement: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/pope-francis-made-surprise-stop-at-little-sisters-of-the-poor-to-show-support-24045
SERIOUSLY
You would need a flow chart to actually see the various soap opera twists and turns my life has taken. And if they make a movie/soap opera about my life I want someone really hot to play me. Like Michelle Pfeiffer. Or Christina Applegate. Elisabeth Shue, Cameron Diaz or Evan Rachel Wood would also be good.
WHOEVER IS NOT AGAINST US...
...is for us. I wish more people would remember that: http://catholicexchange.com/scripture-speak-whoever-is-not-against-us
FIX IT AGAIN, TONY
The Pope has been tooling around DC in a Fiat, rather than the larger luxury cars.
I still think of the jokes about what Fiat stands for--Fix it again, Tony, Failure in automotive technology or Fucking Italian attempt at transport. And then there was the Polski Fiat: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Green_Polski_Fiat_126_BIS,_black_Polski_Fiat_126p_and_a_red_Polski_Fiat_126_BIS_during_The_Retro_Rides_Show.jpg
The Polski Fiat was one of those cars sharing the era of the Lada, the Skoda, the Trabant and the Wartburg. One of the greatest Hitler videos refers to Hitler as buying a used Lada from Stalin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N73Z8FC7H-E&NR=1
And then there were the Lada jokes: http://www.ladaniva.co.uk/baxter/resources/jokes.htm
I like the look of the new Fiat 500 and wouldn't mind having one. Ironic that the Fiat, the Mini and the VW Bug, all of which were cheap cars our big sisters or our friends' big sisters, drove are now considered chic and out of the young person's first car's price range.
I still think of the jokes about what Fiat stands for--Fix it again, Tony, Failure in automotive technology or Fucking Italian attempt at transport. And then there was the Polski Fiat: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Green_Polski_Fiat_126_BIS,_black_Polski_Fiat_126p_and_a_red_Polski_Fiat_126_BIS_during_The_Retro_Rides_Show.jpg
The Polski Fiat was one of those cars sharing the era of the Lada, the Skoda, the Trabant and the Wartburg. One of the greatest Hitler videos refers to Hitler as buying a used Lada from Stalin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N73Z8FC7H-E&NR=1
And then there were the Lada jokes: http://www.ladaniva.co.uk/baxter/resources/jokes.htm
I like the look of the new Fiat 500 and wouldn't mind having one. Ironic that the Fiat, the Mini and the VW Bug, all of which were cheap cars our big sisters or our friends' big sisters, drove are now considered chic and out of the young person's first car's price range.
THE GOOD EARTH
No, not the restaurant in Falls Church, the first restaurant my parents took me too, I mean the book by Pearl Buck: https://archive.org/stream/goodearth00buck_1/goodearth00buck_1_djvu.txt
There is one character, Pear Blossom, who is very pale, that's how she gets her name. One blogger simply refers to her as "Pear." Her master (owner?) is Wang Lung, the protagonist. He falls in love with her, even though she is so much younger. Wang Lung realizes he can't sexually satisfy her and suggests she find a younger man but she won't hear of it. She hates most men, especially her own father who sold her into slavery. Towards the end of his life he spends most of his time with her and his intellectually challenged oldest daughter whom he refers to as "Poor Fool." Wang Lung buys poison and tells Pear to give it to the girl after his death, because he knows no other family members or servants will remember to bring the girl out of the rain or even feed her. Pear is horrified at the thought and promises to care for the child until one of them dies.
I feel sorry for Pear Blossom, who was probably sexually abused, although Buck doesn't go into detail.
The Poor Fool is based on Buck's own daughter, who was born with phenylketonuria. Buck refers to PF as repeatedly folding and twisting a bit of cloth, which sounds to me like autism. Even though PF is a girl, Wang Lung loves and cares for her and on at least one occasion thinks she brings her more joy than his other four children. And while we know Pear's feelings, we have no real way of knowing what PF felt, even though Buck describes her as a happy child.
There is one character, Pear Blossom, who is very pale, that's how she gets her name. One blogger simply refers to her as "Pear." Her master (owner?) is Wang Lung, the protagonist. He falls in love with her, even though she is so much younger. Wang Lung realizes he can't sexually satisfy her and suggests she find a younger man but she won't hear of it. She hates most men, especially her own father who sold her into slavery. Towards the end of his life he spends most of his time with her and his intellectually challenged oldest daughter whom he refers to as "Poor Fool." Wang Lung buys poison and tells Pear to give it to the girl after his death, because he knows no other family members or servants will remember to bring the girl out of the rain or even feed her. Pear is horrified at the thought and promises to care for the child until one of them dies.
I feel sorry for Pear Blossom, who was probably sexually abused, although Buck doesn't go into detail.
The Poor Fool is based on Buck's own daughter, who was born with phenylketonuria. Buck refers to PF as repeatedly folding and twisting a bit of cloth, which sounds to me like autism. Even though PF is a girl, Wang Lung loves and cares for her and on at least one occasion thinks she brings her more joy than his other four children. And while we know Pear's feelings, we have no real way of knowing what PF felt, even though Buck describes her as a happy child.
SAME COUSIN POSTED THIS
My grandfather was so proud of Pennsylvania. Here are two videos I love:
See : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7ek7SWauEI
and : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcKyQJXwaFc
DISGUSTING
I have seen and heard some horrible, tasteless anti-Muslim things on social media, mainly Facebook. Normally I ignore such stuff because I don't want to give attention to the poster. However, the first two keep popping up repeatedly so I guess they bear posting:
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Friday, September 25, 2015
Thursday, September 24, 2015
THE MEN DON'T KNOW
But the little girls understand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk_ilymWo4s
One of the WPGC guys told me what a back door man was. I think I was in shock for days. Then I heard Whole Lotta Love at a LaSalle frat party. One of the brothers said "you'd be surprised how many people like to go in through the back door: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uPKcMkH0vw
Even at my age I still foam over Robert Plant. The problem is, I want to do what he is singing about, but only with certain guys. And some of the ones who want to do it with me I don't want to do it with them.
One of the WPGC guys told me what a back door man was. I think I was in shock for days. Then I heard Whole Lotta Love at a LaSalle frat party. One of the brothers said "you'd be surprised how many people like to go in through the back door: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uPKcMkH0vw
Even at my age I still foam over Robert Plant. The problem is, I want to do what he is singing about, but only with certain guys. And some of the ones who want to do it with me I don't want to do it with them.
WEEK SEVEN
The biggest wound has almost completely healed but it still hurts to walk without crutches. Sometimes the pain flares up all of a sudden, sometimes it throbs. Slowly I'm getting out of the funk I've been in for the last several years. And figuring out that if I overdo it I will spend the next day in bed.
IT'S BEEN A GRUELING WEEK
Doctors' appointments, school, job interviews, and seeing the Pope. Between 3PM Tuesday and 3PM Wednesday I think I got one hour of sleep.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Saw the Pope
Will post more about it later, but I am exhausted--spent about two hours standing in the sun and walked WAY out of my way thanks to cops not knowing their asses from first base.
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
I LIKE THIS RAT
I don't feel comfortable uploading the picture, so I will just post the link: http://illustratedrat.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-queen-of-night-magic-flute.html?fb_ref=Default
As you might see, she's dressed as the queen of the night from Mozart's Magic Flute. I had that tune in my head for a while: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP9SX7V14Z4
janedoe@seductive.com
As you might see, she's dressed as the queen of the night from Mozart's Magic Flute. I had that tune in my head for a while: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP9SX7V14Z4
janedoe@seductive.com
FORCE EQUALS MASS TIMES ACCELERATION
Momentum equals mass times velocity. I remind myself of that when I put weight on my right foot.
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF FALL
And my grandmother would have been 108 years old today.
And it is the feast of St. Linus, known far and wide for his holy blanket: http://www.fatima.org/prayer/saint/092308sotd.asp
janedoe@seductive.com
And it is the feast of St. Linus, known far and wide for his holy blanket: http://www.fatima.org/prayer/saint/092308sotd.asp
janedoe@seductive.com
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
CHRIST IN A CASSOCK
I guess it's better than on a crutch. Or a pony: http://catholicexchange.com/christ-in-a-cassock
RIP YOGI BERRA
It ain't over 'til it's over.
Wherever you go, there you are: www.knbr.com/2015/09/22/hall-of-fame-catcher-yogi-berra-dies-at-age-90
Wherever you go, there you are: www.knbr.com/2015/09/22/hall-of-fame-catcher-yogi-berra-dies-at-age-90
A JOKE
It's Yom Kippur and there are no tickets left to the temple. A guy wants to get in without a ticket and the doorman won't let him. The guy explains he doesn't want to pray, he needs to give someone inside a message. No dice. He tells the doorman it's a matter of life and death.
The doorman relents and says "ok, you can go in, but don't let me catch you there praying."
The doorman relents and says "ok, you can go in, but don't let me catch you there praying."
THE FOOD FARM
While grocery shopping with limited means I thought of Kit Reed's The Food Farm. It's about a school for extremely obese girls who want to do nothing but eat and listen to this guy Tommy Fango on their radios: http://www.documentsky.com/5533758918/
Here it is in Spanish: http://gye.ecomundo.edu.ec/Biblio/Libros_Digitales/Bonus-CienciaFiccion/R/Reed Kit/La granja.doc
And of Lena Zavaroni. At age ten she had an album that reached number eight on the UK charts--she was the youngest person to have an album in the British top ten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J09IeN-ONbk
By the time she was in her thirties she was living on welfare and was arrested for allegedly stealing a packet of gelatin worth 50 pence. She died at age 35 from complications of an operation meant to cure her anorexia and depression.
Here it is in Spanish: http://gye.ecomundo.edu.ec/Biblio/Libros_Digitales/Bonus-CienciaFiccion/R/Reed Kit/La granja.doc
And of Lena Zavaroni. At age ten she had an album that reached number eight on the UK charts--she was the youngest person to have an album in the British top ten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J09IeN-ONbk
By the time she was in her thirties she was living on welfare and was arrested for allegedly stealing a packet of gelatin worth 50 pence. She died at age 35 from complications of an operation meant to cure her anorexia and depression.
SOME TUNES I CAN'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD
Don't Fight It by Kenny Loggins and Steve Perry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBd4mXjAOlU
Some Day, Some Way by Marshall Crenshaw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sgQYHQSqjQ
And there was an old Viva Paper towel spot with the line "Viva instead of cloth." It had lines like "viva the knees, viva the keys, viva the chair, viva the pair" Or something like that. It is sadly not to be found on the Internet, but I did find Viva la Vida by Coldplay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE
Monday, September 21, 2015
MORE JUVENILE HUMOUR
I Googled the word "anole" and "anole care" popped up. Somehow I find these phrases hysterical:
“Because all anoles are potential carriers of infectious diseases, such as Salmonella, always wash your hands before and after handling your anole” “For more information regarding anoles and disease, go to the Center for Disease Control” “Things to remember when feeding your anole” “male anoles are very dominant and territorial” “These behaviors are intended to intimidate other Anoles. The loser of the confrontation retreats to a different territory. Male Anoles may even react to their own reflection in a mirror.”
“Because all anoles are potential carriers of infectious diseases, such as Salmonella, always wash your hands before and after handling your anole” “For more information regarding anoles and disease, go to the Center for Disease Control” “Things to remember when feeding your anole” “male anoles are very dominant and territorial” “These behaviors are intended to intimidate other Anoles. The loser of the confrontation retreats to a different territory. Male Anoles may even react to their own reflection in a mirror.”
“Avoid picking up your Anole by the tail.” “Determine the length of your anole.” “Make sure your anole is in a friendly mood.”
GOOD THING ABOUT FOOTBALL/HOCKEY SEASON COMING
Having certain teams play on certain days eliminates the need to make wardrobe decisions. Unless I have a job interview or something like that.
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
DC IS GETTING READY FOR THE PAPAL VISIT
Saw a guy wearing an anti-terrorism jacket in the Woodley Park Metro. Not sure if that's a good thing. If all goes as planned I will be able to change my schedule so that I can see the parade Wednesday.
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
DEEP DOWN
Most of us have the sense of humour of a twelve-year-old. Or maybe a ten-year-old.
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
MORE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT UP
Overweight guy on the bus runs over the foot of a rather overweight woman with his motorized wheelchair, does not seem sorry. Bus driver has to write a report, causing everyone to clear out of the bus in disgust. On the next bus is a two-year-old going through a "no" stage and the old guy next to me who thinks it's cute when she SHRIEKS and blows raspberries. And when I get out of the bus a woman is killing everyone (not softly) with her song.
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. MATTHEW
Considered the patron of civil servants and of our parish: http://catholicexchange.com/st-matthew-apostle-and-evangelist
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Saturday, September 19, 2015
CONVERSION WITH C
Me: I told him I didn't look or smell good but I would be there as soon as possible.
C: What, was there pus coming out of your ear?
Me: No, my foot.
Actually there wasn't, there hasn't been any for several weeks...
C: What, was there pus coming out of your ear?
Me: No, my foot.
Actually there wasn't, there hasn't been any for several weeks...
MEMORIES
Wow, so my post about Facebook not
being a dating service touched a chord with a lot of people, most of them
female but a surprising number of them male. So I went back through about seven
years’ worth of messages. The names have been withheld to protect the innocent.
Ok, in some cases the guilty, too. I could dig up some forgotten ones and throw
some people under the bus, but I am not in the business of throwing people
under busses. So here goes:
“its nice me
knowing you here on line lady.
A am “Last Name”
“FIRST NAME.” i came from italy, but i live here in Portland…”
Same Guy
“hello my lady so you really don't want to say anything at all”
Later:
“hello
please give me
your cell phone number, so i can call and text you”
NOTE: NO, I REALLY DON’T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL AND IF I
DON’T WANT TO CHAT WITH YOU ON FACEBOOK WHY WOULD I WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR TEXT
YOU?
NEXT:
“I am a single professional, an economist by
training..... and I find you extremely voluptuous and attractive…At the least I
would really like to get to know you -- I am a huge fan of radio and am
desirous of a talk radio opportunity someday.”
MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ASSHOLE:
“DESIROUS OF?” WHAT THE HELL? NOT ONLY DO YOU COME
ACROSS AS EXTREMELY FORWARD, BUT POMPOUS AS WELL. WAY TO GO IF YOU ARE TRYING
TO JOB HUNT. THIS ASSHOLE AND I ACTUALLY KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE IN COMMON AND IF
ANYONE WERE TO ASK ME FOR A REFERENCE IT WOULDN’T BE A GOOD ONE.
NEXT:
“why are you silent pleasev let me know if you dont want to chat
with me ok.”
ME:
“No, I don't want to chat with you.”
Same asshole: “are we quareling?”
My thoughts:
CAN’T YOU TAKE A
HINT? AND WHAT IS WITH “QUARELING?” IT IMPLIES WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, WHICH WE
DON’T. IT HAS AMAZED ME FOR YEARS HOW PRESUMPTUOUS SOME GUYS ARE. ANOTHER ONE,
WHO I HAVE NEVER MET IN REAL LIFE AND FOUND UNATTRACTIVE IF HIS PICTURE IS A FAIR
REPRESENTATION, REFERRED TO “OUR RELATIONSHIP.” WTF?
ANOTHER GEM:
“hello there ...so tell me baby have you been coming here
stall??anyway how ate you doing ...”
My thoughts:
LEARN TO SPELL,
ASSHOLE. AND CAPITALIZE.
YET ANOTHER
GEM:
“Cool! Jane, im sure that i can awaken the goddess within
spiritually powerful females via my foot fetish. Fetish in the African since of
the word rather than the European since. Have you ever heard of this?”
Later from the same person,
don’t remember whether it was male or female:
“Oh boy!!
I quest i have to pay for that info like everyone else LOL. I
hope i didn't weird you out too bad”
ME:
“It was weird. And creepy.”
THEY JUST KEEP
COMING AND COMING:
I GUESS YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR SOME PEOPLE, THEY’RE LONELY.
STILL, ALTHOUGH MY PROFILE SAYS “SINGLE” IT DOES NOT MEAN I’M ON THE MAKE:
·
“Hello Jane
Hello Dear..I have found as you get older you are faced with
more challenges and harder decisions about where you are in your life. I just
want to meet someone who is loving,caring honest. Something I find hard to
find. But, I'm sure that special someone is out there I just have to believe. I
am a fun outgoing person. I love movies, dinners, and quiet time in front of a
fire place with a bottle of wine and great company. I am not one to go to clubs
for some reasons and I don't need alot of people around me. I like my quiet
time alone where I can read a good book,make my drawings and spend time with my
thoughts. Humor is very important to me. I am very easy going person and also a
great friend, lover and partner. My past experiences have taught me I will do
the looking this time and pick the person I want. I don't expect much in a
relationship,what i want is to share the true feeling,and be in love with each
other,do lots of things together,like,sharing of jokes,site
seeing,traveling,Dancing,Cuddling,watching movies,shopping,being there for each
person through the good and the bad. I saw your Profile and i Decide to Drop
this note for you,I don't know how to do this but,first i will have to
apologies for this writing,because i don't know you just that your picture and
profile caught my attention now,so i hope you will accept this with a kind
fate.My name is Michael,54 years old single man ,from Sault Ste Marie, Ontario.
I am an outgoing gentle man,with a great sense of humor.I work as an Architect
and i am into Building and Interior Design, I live alone with my dog and a
house keeper.I will like to meet a very lovely lady to spend the rest of my life
with. So I will like to know more about you.Feel free to write back.
(Name Withheld)
ME:
“Reminding a woman how old she is isn't a way to make points.”
REMINDS ME OF A CREEP (AND I DO MEAN CREEP) I MET ON MATCH.COM.
DURING OUR TWO (COUNT 'EM) DATES HE KEPT ON REFERRING TO “OUR AGE” AND WHEN MY FATHER DIED
HE SENT A CONDOLENCE EMAIL SAYING SOMETHING LIKE “AT OUR AGE THIS IS A REALITY
WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH.” GREAT, I’VE JUST LOST MY FATHER AND YOU’RE REMINDING ME
I’M OLD?
AND THE LATEST
FROM A GUY WHOSE ACCOUNT WAS (NOT SURPRISINGLY) SUSPENDED:
“HEEL?” IS THAT LIKE THE WORD “SHEOL,” THE HEBREW VERSION OF HELL?
Another guy told me to have a “blast day.”
But not all of them were bad. I remember a friend request from
a nice gentleman saying “we don’t know each other but we’re both Catholic, we
both work in radio and we know about eight people in common.”
ALL OF THEM GOOD
REASONS TO FRIEND SOMEONE. I HAVE NEVER MET THIS MAN PERSONALLY, YET WE DO HAVE A NUMBER OF FACEBOOK FRIENDS IN COMMON—THAT NUMBER IS NOW OVER ONE HUNDRED.
Going through seven years’ worth of posts and messages has
brought back lots of memories. Some I have deleted, including the asinine
invitations to participate in breast cancer awareness games. Sure, cancer is a
serious matter and if you want to play these games, go ahead. But don’t waste
my time.
Some messages are from people who are now either very sick or
dead. Others are from people I’ve since unfriended or have unfriended me.
Sometimes it was my fault, sometimes theirs, sometimes just out of pique. And
one is a reminder of an event (and following events) I would give years off my
life to make un-happen.
Still, there are messages of comfort and cheer, birthday and
holiday greetings, and those which if they don’t make me wet my pants laughing,
make me smile. As Dave Davies said, “it was a pretty good scene, man.”
THERE ARE SOME THINGS I'M SORRY I KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT AS I DO
Herpes, HIV, ringworm, staph, tuberculosis...
FACEBOOK IS NOT A DATING SERVICE
I will be happy to accept your friend request, but don’t
call me “dear,” you don’t know me. And
why do you ask “where are you from?” or “where do you live?” You can obviously
see that on my profile page. And when I reply that I’m at work, don’t ask “where
do you work?” because that’s on my profile page, too. Pay attention. Lastly, if
you are a member of the US Military, as your profile picture implies, why do you
write English so poorly? And if you’re as attractive as you are in your
picture, why do you have to troll Facebook for dates?
Thank you.
What gets me is the morons who say "I saw your profile picture. You have a beautiful smile," Uh, it's a picture of my ass? Or me on crutches or both?
Thank you.
What gets me is the morons who say "I saw your profile picture. You have a beautiful smile," Uh, it's a picture of my ass? Or me on crutches or both?
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
This odourless, colourless compound has been found in many of America's lakes, rivers and even drinking water:
And the children! Won't somebody please think of the children?
IT'S MOTHMAN FESTIVAL TIME IN WEST VIRGINIA
See http://mothmanfestival.com
Dr. Clock's Nowhere Bar in Adams Morgan made a great cocktail called the "Mothman." But alas, they are no more.
Dr. Clock's Nowhere Bar in Adams Morgan made a great cocktail called the "Mothman." But alas, they are no more.
JANEY TO THE BARBER WENT
To get herself a permanent: https://bhslatinclasses.wikispaces.com/capitis+ornatus+Iuliae
I remember seeing this poem and the accompanying picture in my high school Latin textbook. It was written by Morris Bishop and appeared in the New Yorker Magazine in 1953.
Got may hair permed Thursday in spite of still feeling pretty awful, figuring if I didn't then I wouldn't for the rest of the year. This means not washing it for 24 hours and not wearing a hat, scarf, etc for 48 hours. G put some disgusting stuff on it that makes it feel crunchy and looks awful. So sweating, wearing no make up and not being able to do anything with my hair I would have been happy to confine myself to house arrest until this morning, except for the condo barbecue. Alas, that was not to be, boss forgot to schedule someone for Friday night so at 6:20 Friday night I got a call asking if could work the six to eleven shift. I explained that I looked and smelled bad but would be there ASAP. So I hailed a cab and ordered some Chinese food once I got to work.
This morning I washed the crap out of my hair and put some make up on. Still feeling unattractive.
And here is the aforementioned portrait (sculpture) of "Julia," the inspiration for the poem:
I remember seeing this poem and the accompanying picture in my high school Latin textbook. It was written by Morris Bishop and appeared in the New Yorker Magazine in 1953.
Got may hair permed Thursday in spite of still feeling pretty awful, figuring if I didn't then I wouldn't for the rest of the year. This means not washing it for 24 hours and not wearing a hat, scarf, etc for 48 hours. G put some disgusting stuff on it that makes it feel crunchy and looks awful. So sweating, wearing no make up and not being able to do anything with my hair I would have been happy to confine myself to house arrest until this morning, except for the condo barbecue. Alas, that was not to be, boss forgot to schedule someone for Friday night so at 6:20 Friday night I got a call asking if could work the six to eleven shift. I explained that I looked and smelled bad but would be there ASAP. So I hailed a cab and ordered some Chinese food once I got to work.
This morning I washed the crap out of my hair and put some make up on. Still feeling unattractive.
And here is the aforementioned portrait (sculpture) of "Julia," the inspiration for the poem:
Friday, September 18, 2015
WHAT A BURGER!
Earlier this week two off-duty cops walked into a Whataburger in Texas, tried to order food and drinks and were told by the asshole cashier "we don't serve police." The asshole, who is reportedly in his 50's and has worked there for nine years said he was only joking and makes jokes like that all the time. Whataburger fired him. At his age he should have known better, especially in these days of political correctness which borders on hysteria.
The Christian Science Monitor, whom I normally admire, did the best job covering the story, combining concern for violence against police with the need for better police-community relations: http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2015/0916/We-don-t-serve-police-Why-officers-turned-away-from-Whataburger
janedoe@seductive.com
The Christian Science Monitor, whom I normally admire, did the best job covering the story, combining concern for violence against police with the need for better police-community relations: http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2015/0916/We-don-t-serve-police-Why-officers-turned-away-from-Whataburger
janedoe@seductive.com
MAID IN MANHATTAN
Watched part of it until I had to go to work. Of course it's a movie--fat chance that I'm gonna meet Ralph Fiennes at work. And J-Lo is trying on a guest's clothes, something she'd be fired for at most hotels, not rewarded for. And her friend puts in an application for a promotion for her. Like any of my friends would do that. Why does she call herself "Maria" instead of her real name, "Marisa?" And she and the other maids speak perfect English. The ones I deal with can't say "ice" or "wash cloth" in English. An Anglo guest patronizingly says something about maids who barely speak a word of English. The Anglo woman is made to look like a bigot, but it's true.
The movie was made 13 years ago before everyone applied for everything online, so I guess it's understandable that her application is accepted without a Social Security number or mother's maiden name. I guess I'm just bitter because I've been working in the same place for 13 years, haven't met Ralph Fiennes and haven't really been promoted.
janedoe@seductive.com
The movie was made 13 years ago before everyone applied for everything online, so I guess it's understandable that her application is accepted without a Social Security number or mother's maiden name. I guess I'm just bitter because I've been working in the same place for 13 years, haven't met Ralph Fiennes and haven't really been promoted.
janedoe@seductive.com
TASTE THE RAINBOW
Frito Lay is putting out a new line of rainbow-coloured chips in support of the LGBT community: https://www.yahoo.com/food/taste-the-rainbow-doritos-to-launch-pride-129278336241.html
I'd eat 'em if they were offered to me but wouldn't go out of my way to buy 'em.
I have worked at at least two LGBT events in that one was in a gay bar and the other was hosted by a lesbian couple. Not sure of the sexual proclivities of the other guests. I would not refuse to work at one based solely on the fact that the host/guests were LGBT. Frankly I think heterosexual bachelorette parties are more disgusting. What's all this with penis/sperm party favours? And whom do people think they're kidding? Probably at least 98 percent of brides at such parties have already had sex, if not with the groom, with another man.
I would probably have more problems with a heterosexual bachelor party. Not that I have problems with a bachelor party in itself, but with what sometimes goes on with women hired to perform at these events. I do NOT want to hurt a bride by contributing to her fiance's philandering immediately before the wedding. I might work at one if it were clarified beforehand what I would and would not be expected to do and that the groom's intentions towards me were honorable. If I thought otherwise I would refuse. But then nobody's asked me. Gee, I wonder why.
janedoe@seductive.com
I'd eat 'em if they were offered to me but wouldn't go out of my way to buy 'em.
I have worked at at least two LGBT events in that one was in a gay bar and the other was hosted by a lesbian couple. Not sure of the sexual proclivities of the other guests. I would not refuse to work at one based solely on the fact that the host/guests were LGBT. Frankly I think heterosexual bachelorette parties are more disgusting. What's all this with penis/sperm party favours? And whom do people think they're kidding? Probably at least 98 percent of brides at such parties have already had sex, if not with the groom, with another man.
I would probably have more problems with a heterosexual bachelor party. Not that I have problems with a bachelor party in itself, but with what sometimes goes on with women hired to perform at these events. I do NOT want to hurt a bride by contributing to her fiance's philandering immediately before the wedding. I might work at one if it were clarified beforehand what I would and would not be expected to do and that the groom's intentions towards me were honorable. If I thought otherwise I would refuse. But then nobody's asked me. Gee, I wonder why.
janedoe@seductive.com
SNAKES ALIVE!
Australians are finding snakes in their toilets: http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/sep/16/snakes-slither-into-australian-toilets-as-dry-season-bites?CMP=fb_gu
The rednecks next door to us in Pennsylvania used to sit on the toilet and kick under the seat. When I asked why they said "snakes." R made a good point of asking why I went into the outhouse with one of them and I had to explain we were about eight or nine years old. And it says something about us that we bought a house next to people like that.
janedoe@seductive.com
The rednecks next door to us in Pennsylvania used to sit on the toilet and kick under the seat. When I asked why they said "snakes." R made a good point of asking why I went into the outhouse with one of them and I had to explain we were about eight or nine years old. And it says something about us that we bought a house next to people like that.
janedoe@seductive.com
Thursday, September 17, 2015
EVERY TATTOO TELLS A STORY
I guess yesterday was National Tattoo Story Day: http://www.valleynewslive.com/home/headlines/National-Tattoo-Story-Day-327948631.html
I am begrudgingly looking for a place to get mine removed.
I am begrudgingly looking for a place to get mine removed.
SIX WEEKS
Doctor told me the recovery period for foot surgery like mine is six to eight weeks. I guess I have two more weeks to go. There is still a nasty gash on my foot and it smarts the way your feet do when you have new shoes that need to be broken in.
And I still make the mistake of overdoing it when I feel good and end up spending the next day in bed.
Here are some pictures taken the day after the doctor pulled the scabs off:
And I still make the mistake of overdoing it when I feel good and end up spending the next day in bed.
Here are some pictures taken the day after the doctor pulled the scabs off:
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
BUM WEE
It sounds as though it could be Chinese. Or Korean: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bumwee
And it can happen even when you haven't had any alcohol to drink.
I Googled Bum Wee and found this: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1266000-poo-poo-bum-bum-wee-wee-all-day-i-need-help-before-i-totally-lose-it
You have to feel sorry for the mum, but still...
janedoe@seductive.com
And it can happen even when you haven't had any alcohol to drink.
I Googled Bum Wee and found this: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1266000-poo-poo-bum-bum-wee-wee-all-day-i-need-help-before-i-totally-lose-it
You have to feel sorry for the mum, but still...
janedoe@seductive.com
NOW I JUST WANT PIE
janedoe@seductive.com
FOAM
I want to see this movie. Actually, there are a couple coming out I want to see: http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/09/tobey-maguire-pawn-sacrifice
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
BEEN LISTENING TO THE DEBATE WITH ONE EAR
One of the questions was which female should be represented on the ten-dollar bill, replacing Alexander Hamilton? D. Trump said the Adams family had been neglected. I probably was not the only who thought he was referring to Morticia or Wednesday, not Abigail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3CH0tN515M
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS UP
I saw a woman on the train who looked like Cousin It. She even had the round glasses. This was the best picture I could get, as I didn't want to attract too much attention:
I PROBABLY WILL NEVER NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HAVING HEART ATTACK OR A STROKE.
Damn foot started bleeding again .
Monday, September 14, 2015
I DREAMT ABOUT NUCLEAR WAR
In the dream I was on Columbia Road and saw the flash. I threw myself face down on the sidewalk, kind of like they taught kids in the old civil defense films: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKqXu-5jw60 . I remembered my mom saying I would be burnt to a crisp so fast I wouldn't know what hit me. In the dream it wasn't that bad--I lived. The first thing I did was phone my parents, then G, then D.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 5776
Shana Tovah! During the Y2K thing there were jokes that the Jews would soon be dealing with Y6K. Here is an oldie but but a goody: http://askjuan.net/y-zero-k
janedoe@seductive.com
janedoe@seductive.com
Sunday, September 13, 2015
WHAT'S UP, WHOLE FOODS?
Your Friendship Heights store had a "High Holiday" table or something like that with honey that did not appear to be kosher and apple cake and "hearth bread" that not only was not kosher, but baked in a plant which processes shellfish. I thought you people were supposed to be "sensitive."
DAWN OF THE DEAD
Or go away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke4j3tz2YX8
Financial Myth Busting Host Dawn Bennett is being accused of fraud: http://www.sec.gov/news/pressrelease/2015-186.html
I was her last call screener at WMAL. Ironically, after that, she went to Radio One where I used to work. I can't think of any former person here who is more reviled. Even some of the nicest guys you could ever meet couldn't stop grinning. Ric Edelman, whom I have known for 13 years, ripped into her in a way I've never heard him do before. The worst I've heard him say about a colleague in the past was referring to Suze Orman as "advisor to the young and stupid."
There have been some incredibly nasty things about her here: http://www.dcrtv.com/mailbag2.html
If you can't find it there, click here: http://www.dcrtv.com/mailbag.html
We think we know who at least one of the posters was--he has done his best to trash C and me. His ex wife is a Facebook friend of mine and she seems like a nice person. Recently she and her new hub celebrated their second anniversary and she seems gloriously in love with him. I'm happy for her--I can imagine what a living hell her marriage to the above-mentioned man must have been.
The whole thing is so karmic, really.
Financial Myth Busting Host Dawn Bennett is being accused of fraud: http://www.sec.gov/news/pressrelease/2015-186.html
I was her last call screener at WMAL. Ironically, after that, she went to Radio One where I used to work. I can't think of any former person here who is more reviled. Even some of the nicest guys you could ever meet couldn't stop grinning. Ric Edelman, whom I have known for 13 years, ripped into her in a way I've never heard him do before. The worst I've heard him say about a colleague in the past was referring to Suze Orman as "advisor to the young and stupid."
There have been some incredibly nasty things about her here: http://www.dcrtv.com/mailbag2.html
If you can't find it there, click here: http://www.dcrtv.com/mailbag.html
We think we know who at least one of the posters was--he has done his best to trash C and me. His ex wife is a Facebook friend of mine and she seems like a nice person. Recently she and her new hub celebrated their second anniversary and she seems gloriously in love with him. I'm happy for her--I can imagine what a living hell her marriage to the above-mentioned man must have been.
The whole thing is so karmic, really.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH CALL CENTER REPS?
I lost my Suntrust
card and the Filipino woman asked if I had looked every place. I wanted to say “no, I’m
just bored and looking for someone to talk to. Besides, I LIKE being without a
card for a whole week.”
Saturday, September 12, 2015
WHO MOVED MY CHEESE?
I read this years ago. “Cheese”
can mean different things for different mice or people. It can be a job, a
living situation, a love relationship. For some people “cheese” can be money
and the material things it buys. For others it is having the same amount of cheese in the same place every day for years, security and being loved. For
others it is being the “big cheese.” Or it can be letting everyone know how
much cheese you’ve got, or at least letting them think you’ve got cheese:
http://classes.sdc.wsu.edu/classes/cstm301/readings/who%20moved%20my%20cheese.pdf
The book tells you once your cheese has been moved, it is possible to get new cheese, which can be better than the cheese which had been moved. But what if they are looking for younger mice? Or they have too many white mice and need some black or Hispanic mice to fill their quota? And what if you have been running through mazes for years and there is not enough cheese at the end of the maze to live off? Or they promise you a huge amount of cheese and don't deliver? Or take it away before you can eat it all? Or if the cheese is sealed off--you can smell it, but they put little dividers in the maze that no mouse can chew through, climb over or under? Or you have been attending wine and cheese events for years and years and there isn't enough cheese for everyone and what is left is inedible?
The book tells you once your cheese has been moved, it is possible to get new cheese, which can be better than the cheese which had been moved. But what if they are looking for younger mice? Or they have too many white mice and need some black or Hispanic mice to fill their quota? And what if you have been running through mazes for years and there is not enough cheese at the end of the maze to live off? Or they promise you a huge amount of cheese and don't deliver? Or take it away before you can eat it all? Or if the cheese is sealed off--you can smell it, but they put little dividers in the maze that no mouse can chew through, climb over or under? Or you have been attending wine and cheese events for years and years and there isn't enough cheese for everyone and what is left is inedible?
Friday, September 11, 2015
FIVE WEEKS
It was actually five weeks ago yesterday.Went to the podiatrist this mornig--there were five scabs--four incisions and the injection site. He pulled them off and the ones he didn't pull off he cut off:
NEVER FORGET
I will never forget September 11, 2001, exactly where I was, which direction I was facing. It was a beautiful day, just like today. The woman who told me was an incredible space cadet, so she wasn't very credible to begin with. She told me a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I thought it was a Piper Cub or a crop duster that had horribly lost its way, so I said the traditional prayer for the dead: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_Rest
I was feeling angry last night. At first I made this into my profile pic:
But that's politically incorrect. After all, Islam is a religion of peace and a profile picture like this won't help me win friends or influence people. So I went back to this one, even though some "progressives" might find it overly religious and jingoistic:
C's son was born in Brooklyn that morning--I can't imagine what it would be like to be giving birth so close to the site when you had a two year old whose birthday was that same day.
I will also remember the day before, the last day of "normalcy." It was also a beautiful day. I had been to the eye doctor and had my eyes dilated, so I couldn't drive for a while. I walked to the nearest Starbucks and talked to my mom on the phone, just to kill time.
I am still angry and hurting, partly because of my personal situation, partly because of the situation the country is in. Here are my Facebook/profile pictures for that day for the last couple years:
I was feeling angry last night. At first I made this into my profile pic:
But that's politically incorrect. After all, Islam is a religion of peace and a profile picture like this won't help me win friends or influence people. So I went back to this one, even though some "progressives" might find it overly religious and jingoistic:
Thursday, September 10, 2015
I THOUGHT OF YOU
And Sophie's Choice. And the choice that fucked up her life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ9bht5H2p4
Sure, I can understand how that would fuck up her life, yet she made further choices, of her own free will.
Sure, I can understand how that would fuck up her life, yet she made further choices, of her own free will.
WHAT THE FUCK?
About two months on Metformin and my A1C AND kidney levels are up, rather than down? You can't make this stuff up.
NAZI DOUCHEBAG
I'd say it's appropriate for some people: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGpV6D_8rIo
TO THE PERSON WHO TRIED TO HACK MY SUNTRUST ACCOUNT
You are a butthole. I had to hop from the clinic on crutches to the bank before it closed. Now my foot hurts more.