THEY'RE HARD TO DOWNLOAD

Patrick O'Donnell on why it's a bad idea to order plants online. 

janedoe@seductive.com

TODAY IS MOM'S BIRTHDAY

Happy Birthday, Mom. 

janedoe@seductive.com

I am a walking Helen Keller Joke

Which is better than being a limping Helen Keller joke.

BLINDED BY THE LIME

Saw a large, in both senses of the word, family, all wearing matching neon lime green T-shirts. Did not notice if they were wearing Spandex, as I was blinded by the lime.

So not cool

A woman at Dr. Clock's wearing a T-shirt with the word "Cunt" across the front.

Janedoe@seductive.com

Told a guy his underwear was showing

A little under the weather

Janedoe@seductive.com

RIP DIANNA MCLELLAN

See http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/diana-mclellan-washington-gossip-columnist-dies-at-76/2014/06/26/ccb680bc-faff-11e3-932c-0a55b81f48ce_story.html

As Heisenberg would say

You're G-D right.

I am amused

An African American Gentleman referred to a Romany neighbour as "that white dude."

Janedoe@seductive.com

Saw a great T-shirt on 18th St

"I'm not lazy, I'm energy-efficient."

FUCKIN' A

I AM SO PROUD OF MY MOM

Her computer is up and running.

Selfie Tuesday

WE ARE RUNNING THIS PSA A LOT

See http://www.nmaus.org/educational-resources/psas

Having blood drawn

Lots of shit going on in the Middle East

At least that's what ABC is leading with.

Blessed Solstice

Not

I have been called "amazing" and "a hero" within the space of about two hours

I found the bathroom key at Starbucks.

Now I'm not dumb

But I can't understand why she walk like a woman but talk like a man.

I wish the guy in front of me at Starbucks would wash his ear hair

And trim it. And comb it.

Another great quote from Steve Mirsky

"There's a fine line between being bored and being an asshole."

This is the same guy who said "having to have your ass saved is part of being human."

Selfie Tuesday

Got a fortune cookie that said "your luck is about to change."

MY TATTOO AT SIX WEEKS

MY FATHER DIED ALMOST TEN YEARS AGO AND FATHER'S DAY WAS STILL WEIRD.

janedoe@seductive.com 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

KEMAL 'CASEY' KASEM DEAD AT AGE 82

It's a fucking freak show out there

And a freak show in here, too.

ORDERED A CHROMEBOOK ONLINE FOR MOM

Friday the 13th

And a full moon to boot.

janedoe@seductive.com

So true

Ask what you want for

"and have no pride."

A quote from John Waters. We saw him tonight.

DUPONT CIRCLE SMELLS LIKE CHESTNUT BLOSSOMS

Reminds me of Munich.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE GOOD AND HONEST AND WMATA DOESN'T TOTALLY SUCK

janedoe@seductive.com

DOWN TO SEVEN PRESCRIPTION MEDS

Tonalist, not California Chrome, is the winner of this year's Belmont Stakes. I was running the board when it happened. #belmontstakes #californiachrome #triplecrown2014

I wish all mornings could be like this one

Janedoe@seductive.com

Went to the Bier Baron

Dude threw up

To the asshole who fucked with my Visa card--I hope your penis falls off

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY

My beautiful baby girl, Pepsi, is two today! Darling, I wish I could provide you and Patapsco with more.

janedoe@seductive.com 

CAN'T STOP THINKING OF PRIVATE EDDIE SLOVIK AND BOWE BERGDAHL. I'M TOLD THEY DON'T SHOOT DESERTERS ANYMORE.

HAD WEIRD DREAMS ALL AFTERNOON--WAS LUCKY TO GET UP IN TIME FOR WORK.

BEAUTIFUL WEATHER

Zzzzzzzzz