PIGGY TRAIN!

Apparently there is a sociological reason for it:

THIS IS A RIOT

How to know when your cat is fully charged:

DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

It seems to be that way at this time of year, literally and figuratively--the time after Christmas, especially between Christmas and New Year. I started a job December 30th, 2001 on a Sunday morning--the worst possible shift. But I stayed there for more than seven years.

I GOOGLED BEE POLLEN

And came up with beef stew. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

"WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Seems to be the dominant theme.

BUSHED

From a 14-hour night.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington Post: http://washingtonpost.com 

WEEK

Dow closed over 16 thousand, another record I think. Weather was bitterly cold, ended pleasantly.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, WMATA?

Zoo Lights + Construction = Fail. You are the reason people drink and drive. 

CANE MUTINY

Some of these sound revolting: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304465604579221943029447818

WHILE WE'RE AT IT

Happy Kwanzaa! 

GO TO JAIL

Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.00

An hour and forty minutes in the oral surgeon's office and he can't pull the tooth. This after three weeks. All this for nothing, could have slept. .And still as thirsty as a fish, waiting for my blood work results. If I end up in the ER with an infection let the sin be on their heads. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

A TREE GROWS IN ADMO

Bought a giant economy size bottle of tea tree oil. Because the last thing I need to do is get sick:

NO ONE EVER SAID...

"I'm dreaming of a weird Christmas." This one was weird, but better than last--did not end up with screaming, tears, stolen bags etc. 

A VERY ADMO CHRISTMAS

Exchanged gifts with bar tenders and greetings with the tattoo parlour guy. I buy so much from the Botanica they gave ME a gift. 

THE DAY AFTER

Was late in getting the tree up, but will probably be late getting it down, too:

THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

At least on TV, except for maybe the Charlie Brown Christmas Special: http://www.hulu.com/watch/58777

janedoe@seductive.com 

BEING JEWISH

Chinese dinner and a movie, The Great Gatsby on Amazon. Mmmm, Tobey Maguire. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

JESUS AND I HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON

Our birthdays both fall on the same day of the week. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

HALLELUJAH!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9XzrDltKgI

janedoe@seductive.com 

THE MOST ORIGINAL HOLIDAY GREETING YET:

Christmas is a coming

And the geese are getting fat

Please to put a dollar in Mr. Lomax' hat

If you haven't got a dollar, your spare change will probably do

But if you have no change to spare, then a "MOTHERFUCK!" to you!

From K

janedoe@seductive.com 

MY FAVOURITE SECULAR CHRISTMAS SONG

All I Want For Christmas Is You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS SONG

For unto us a child is born: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9morqKUH0Sw

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiSPNaQNGOY

janedoe@seductive.com 

PRAYER REQUEST

Please pray for me--I may have another chance to save my condo. If I do, it would be a Christmas miracle.

 

IT TAKES A WOMAN...

...all powdered and pink to joyously clean out the drain in the sink.. And the bathtub. And the toilet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kc6ROLNNq4

OLD SCHOOL

Wow, apparently the cartoons with which I grew up are old school: 

THINK I NEED A GINGER ALE

Chugging huge amounts of the stuff, really craving it and can't figure out why, as I am not nauseous. Maybe it's the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f1TKLywtok 

At least it will help the 24-hour urine. 

MERRY PISSMAS

Doing a 24 hour urine, dropping it off before mass. So festive. I don't think any normal person likes them. Doctors hate ordering them, patients hate doing them and I can't imagining anyone enjoying processing them. 

AMERICA'S MOST INSULTING

I thought the most insulting thing you could say to a patient was "it's all in your head," but I was wrong. It's "you'll just have to accept it." And then there's "it can be controlled by diet and exercise." I walk so much I broke a bone in my foot, dumbass. 

janedoe@seductive.com

MY COUSIN DAVID II

Today is the anniversary of my cousin David's death. I was eleven years old. We spent Christmas Eve in a funeral home. I still remember Grandma's tears dripping onto his coffin.They served good food at the wake.

NOW BEGINNITH...

...a marathon of ten and 15-hour days. 

janedoe@seductive.com

THE SOFTNESS OF YOUR SWEATER...

...against my skin. Mmmmm.

MY COUSIN DAVID

Today would have been his birthday. He was Aunt Irene and Uncle Jim's first child, Grandma and Grandpap's first grandchild and Mom's oldest nephew.

BUT NOBODY GETS A LIFETIME REHEARSAL....

...as specks of dust we're universal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xzsY2vkEMM

Amy Ray/Emily Saliers

A twist on the Indigo Girls: "having your head up your ass is universal." has to be the most profound thing I've heard all month.

Edd Lynch 

STRANGE NIGHT

It's a strange night, compared to last. It feels as if it should be midnight.

ADVENT, ADVENT

Today is the fourth Sunday of Advent: http://catholicexchange.com/the-last-days-of-advent

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Los Angeles Times: http://www.latimes.com

WEEK

Dow closed up over 16 thousand, hit a record high this week. Weather ended unseasonably warm. I think I saw a sign saying gas was $3.40/gallon. Since none of the doctors I’m going to are available or helpful, I’m treating myself with vitamins, essential oils, etc. If I end up in the ER with a lavender overdose, let the sin be on their heads. 

EASY CUSSWORDS

NPR and Google marked the anniversary of the crossword puzzle. I like the idea of a cussword puzzle: http://www.npr.org/2013/12/21/251986578/the-crossword-turns-100-across-celebrate-by-playing-our-puzzle

ONE TEST AT A TIME

Frustrating visit with the endocrinologist. I want to cry. J says "Don't ever give up, Jane! Take one test at a time, one day at a time, and believe for the best!

janedoe@seductive.com 

I RULE

S sent this email to almost a dozen people, including Frodo: 

Thanks to Jane’s early warning about the missing Rush Update last night we took a look and found the Enco “EN-ININT” machine was down and would not boot properly.

Thanks $1,000,000 to Mike, the machine has a repaired graphics card and appears to be working properly again. Who knows, maybe the old card had been close to the edge before, causing the previous freeze incidents of that box.

IN THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAYS

Met some bi-polar acting guy at the PO who told me he spoke four languages. I told him if he spoke English to speak it correctly. I refrained to tell him to bite me in at least five. 

WALK AWAY

And that's what I should do. I love what Youtube writes about the real Renee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RCenpcN3EM

The James Gang's Walk Away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICmD8P0x8_M

 janedoe@seductive.com

WELCOME TO THE WRECKING BALL

I never thought I’d say it, Miley Cyrus actually makes Britney Spears look like a class act: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLtmauJLP-A

But yeah, I DID unfortunately come in like a wrecking ball. And that’s what’s making problems now. Over a year ago a door was opened that never should have been: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My2FRPA3Gf8

janedoe@seductive.com 

IT'S FUCKING COLD HERE

That's why I'm dressed like a Hungarian grandmother. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

SELDOM IS HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD

From Jim Bohannon: 

"You're not too old.
You're strikingly attractive.
Your voice is fine.
You've got a great resume.

Ya gotta believe!"

LIVING ON THE ISLAND

A text from D:  "watch out for the polar bears."

OLD SCHOOL

Taken in the old Smooth Jazz studio, probably between 2005 and 2008. I had forgotten it existed.  Note posters in the background and 7-11 cup in the foreground: 

I AM AMUSED

That some people are actually scared of me. Especially men who are bigger and stronger than me. 

janedoe@seductive.com

THIS IS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I DO:

THIS IS KINDA FUNNY:

THE INTERNET:

Yet another way to insult/malign people. And you don't need Facebook or Twitter to do it.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE PRODIGAL SON

I can so relate to this guy:

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the San Francisco Chronicle: http://sfchronicle.com 

WEEK

Dow closed under 16 thousand, gas was $3.67/gallon at the Sunoco station on Harvard St. Weather mostly unseasonably bitterly cold, but at least it gets dark one minute later every day. Trying to stay healthy, the rheumatologist said there’s not much he can do while the foot is still healing. Seeing the endo next week, hope to get some answers, don’t want to be this fat. 

ORDERED ONE OF THESE ON EBAY:

A mariner's cross, otherwise known as St. Clement's cross: 

I PRETTY MUCH LIKE WHAT I'M DOING

I just wish I were earning more. And getting more airtime/on-air mentions. And had someone with which I could share it. But compared to this time last year, things are better.

EXPERIMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slYExz44k0Q

I am experimenting with goulash soup. A couple weeks ago it was chicken. 

HOUSE WAS RIGHT

It's not lupus. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

JOINT VENTURE

At the Washington Hospital Center rheumatology department.

janedoe@seductive.com 

MCGARRY DEAD

Mac McGarry just died. He was responsible for my TV debut: http://wtop.com/109/3523983/Its-Academic-host-Mac-McGarry-dies

IT'S TOO COLD OUTSIDE

For angels to fly. Angels die. But I went out anyway: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAWcs5H-qgQ

PLANS

1) To get my condo together, whether or not I sell it. 
2) To buy a car
3) To pay off my student loans
4) To get more, better work
5) To forgive

 janedoe@seductive.com

PAIN

A little kid on the train looked at my crutches and said "I'm sorry you got hurt." I wanted to explain to him that there are much more painful things than breaking a bone. I also refrained from telling him "this is what happens when you don't drink your milk/eat your vegetables. 

janedoe@seductive.com

SNOW DAY

They closed city and federal government offices today. Maybe there was a reason for it.

THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS

Starts with a great boob shot: https://www.facebook.com/yearinreview/snipercatcher

janedoe@seductive.com

OMG

You shook me all night long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo2qQmj0_h4

And then he kissed me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUaUIwuU8so

CRUTCHPRINTS IN THE SNOW

"Snow has fallen."

Ruth Tessler Goldstein 

MULTIPLE FEASTS

Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception. It is also the Second Sunday of Advent: http://catholicexchange.com/the-immaculate-conception-2

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the New York Times: http://newyorktimes.com  

WEEK

Dow closed over 16 thousand. Weather was warm mid to late week, then bitterly cold. Gas was $3.36/gallon at the Sunoco station between the Columbia Heights Metro and Washington Hospital Center. Doing my best to stay healthy and optimistic, but getting hard. 

INFAMY

Pearl Harbor was 72 years ago today. And there is enough other shit going on on a personal level.

ST. AMBROSE

Today is his feast day. He is the patron of candlemakers. And beekeepers. And they named a church after him: http://www.stpeterslist.com/1877/happy-feast-day-of-st-ambrose-7-biographical-points/

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS OUT...

They pull me back in. Professionally and sexually.

FUCK

Tooth is probably gonna have to come out.

janedoe@seductive.com 

IN THE ER AGAIN

Yeah, I know.

janedoe@seductive.com 

ST. NICHOLAS

Today is his feast day. It is also the anniversary of my first communion. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

RIP

Nelson Mandela is dead

WHAT A CONCEPT:

janedoe@seductive.com 

I'M JANE.

I'm disgusting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_nL8K2dg8

Some of the best lines from Friends. But I did shave both legs. And take a bath.

TOES!

See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eouJJYOv1Ao

SAW MY SHADOW

Gonna be on crutches five more weeks.

INTERESTING TIMES

Gave the X-ray tech and her student something new to do.

"It gave us something to do" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXGFo2WI2aw

AT WASHINGTON HOSPITAL CENTER

Waiting to see podiatrist

CRUTCHES SUCK

But there are other things that suck more:

• Being told everything's "just nerves" or "all in your head" sucks.
• 
  
• Being accused of faking an illness or medical condition to get attention sucks.
• 
  
• Having to go to work or school when you're sick sucks. Not being able to home sucks, too. 
• 
  
• Having your mom say "aw, come on, Janey, you're not that sick" sucks.

janedoe@seductive.com 

IN THE WORDS OF MY COUSIN K

''Wow.'' People really do read my blog. Turned the iPad found Friday to DC police.

Janedoe@seductive.com

WHILE IT'S STILL CHANUKAH:

So much more beautiful than the generic clip art or Google Stock photos:

janedoe@seductive.com

ADVENT, ADVENT

Today is the first Sunday of Advent: http://www.easterbrooks.com/personal/calendar/index.php

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Baltimore Sun: http://baltimoresun.com 

WEEK

Weather is about 20 degrees colder than it should be this time of year. Don't want to bore you with more medical stuff.

FOUND:

Ignore this post

ST. ANDREW

Today is his feast day. Here is his novena: http://www.twoheartsdesign.com/prayers/standrew.html

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

New Year's Eve party at the Grand Hyatt. I am working there. Early Bird Rates still available: http://www.meetup.com/20sand30sgroup/events/147262672/

SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY

Today is Small Business Saturday, brought to you by American Express. How many small businesses actually take Amex? I had a sandwich at Millie & Al's. Does that count?

I DID IT

I bought three dollars' worth of gift bags at CVS. If it's not a Black Friday no one can blame me. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

BLACK FRIDAY

MEH. Running the board, feeling a little feverish/sore throat, but will do my economic duty.

janedoe@seductive.com 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

From possibly one of the best FRIENDS episodes ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62zfNz0Uf9I

janedoe@seductive.com 

EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS

HAPPY CHANUKAH!

janedoe@seductive.com 

THE DAY AFTER

30 years ago last week ABC aired "the Day After"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2B7sdLPMfc

janedoe@seductive.com 

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

A little shameless self-promotion: 

GOOD ADVICE

Overcoming bitterness. Wish I could actualize it: http://catholicexchange.com/overcome-bitterness

janedoe@seductive.com

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Why am I so thirsty? 

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Boston Globe: http://www.bostonglobe.com 

WEEK

Weather lovely lovely the last couple days, beastly cold tonight. Foot hurting today, but toughing it out, feeling really thirsty the last couple days.

I GREW UP SCREWED UP

When I was about four year ago the little girl up the street told me President Lincoln was shot in a theatre. In a drive in theatre. In a convertible.  When I was older I read in CREEM Magazine that cool teenagers in NYC carried portable radios on their shoulders. So I walked around carrying a little 8” Panasonic…

O CECILIA

Today is the feast of St. Cecilia: http://catholicexchange.com/a-patron-saint-for-musicians-singers

It is also the feast of Christ the King: http://catholicexchange.com/feast-christ-king

janedoe@catholicexchange.com 

NOVEMBER 22, 1963

John F Kennedy was assassinated 50 years ago today. Probably lots of babies born in that year are getting invitations to join the AARP.  Kids who graduated from high school in that year are eligible to collect Social Security. And Medicare. Most people who were eligible to collect Social Security/Medicare in that year are probably dead. 

janedoe@seductive.com

OH, DEER

Saw a hugeass deer in the park, not far from where the robbery took place. He was big enough to ride. 

MY NAME REALLY IS JANE

It is not an alias.

JUST SAY YES

Yes! Organic Market on Columbia Rd has some good specials.

IT IS WHAT IT IS

And nothing more.

THESE ARE THE DAYS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlCS-qf7yaM

These are the good old days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibSelIFBR8s

Or, as Linda Ellerbee said, where I loved my life most, where I hated my life most.

MENINGITIS

There is too much about it in the news.

COMING AND GOING

THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH

And they make me do shit. But I guess you could say that about any job. 

SAD NEWS

Peppy is not doing well.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington Times: http://washtimes.com

WEEK

Taiphoon Haiyan is reportedly one of the most powerful storms to hit the planet ever. It has been bitterly cold for several days but a little better this weekend. Dow hit another record high. My lungs are no worse, my coronary calcification score was perfect and there ‘s no immediate need for a pacemaker.  

ST. MARGARET OF SCOTLAND

Today is her feast day. She is my patroness. She was Hungarian: http://catholicexchange.com/st-margaret-of-scotland

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1oM3kQpXRo

Okay, not everything, but a couple things. 

PENGUIN DREAMS

I am wearing my Penguins shirt because

1) The pens played yesterday and are playing tonight
2) It's clean

DUH

A lot of my posts are about food. 

GETTING BIGGER PORTIONS AT CHIPOTLE

See http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-get-bigger-portions-at-chipotle-2013-10

I NEED TO EAT MORE

A Mac's salad, Starbucks scone and a plate of Millie's mozzarella  fries in the space of two days don't cut it.

NEW FOOD CONCEPT

Meow Mix Chili

CANE AND ABLE

Caught myself looking at canes at Rite Aid

NEW DRINK CONCEPT

Ritalin sidecars.

I MUST LOOK BAD

People with disabilities are giving me their seats on the bus. Homeless peeps are giving me money. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

LA MANO PODEROSA

Believe it or not I bought this at the Catholic Information Center on K St: 

NUMBER NINE, NUMBER NINE

I am now up from eight meds to nine.

IT'S TOO COLD OUTSIDE FOR ANGELS TO FLY

Angels die: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAWcs5H-qgQ

TILL THE COWS COME HOME

There is a weird old guy sitting next to me. I swear he's about to give milk. 

AMERICA'S MOST DISGUSTING

1) J insists on spraying/wiping everything down. Including me. 

2) S is terrified that I will infect her so I get sent home. 

3) People at Mellow Mushroom are saying I'm homeless. 

4) B says customers have been complaining that I smell like patchouli, which I hardly wear. I explained that a) my nose is stuffed up and I can't smell myself and b) it's hard for me to keep myself clean as I can't take this bandage off.

I feel like Typhoid Mary and neither one of them blames Frodo. 

YAY!

One year with no robberies AND no piggy deaths!

janedoe@seductive.com 

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

ONE YEAR AGO

"Little" Perpetua died. She was the healthiest of all my pigs, hardly sick a day in her life. I miss my baby girl and still feel guilty--she died three weeks after the robbery.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the San Francisco Chronicle: http://sfchronicle.com 

WEEK

Taiphoon Haiyan is the big story this week. And it gets darker one hour earlier here. 

I LOVE THIS GUY!

Bart Baker: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3twwafch4g

PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA:

Laundering my Princeton T even though it has only one chocolate blob on it. 

THE BIG CHILL

It's fucking cold. 

KELLY CLARKSON QUOTES

When you are on crutches you get all kinds of unsolicited advice. I have been told that if my foot heals, which I hope it does, it will get stronger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

CASH, VISA OR MUSTARD?

I do not take duck sauce as payment. Or mustard. Or soy sauce. 

janedoe@seductive.com

HEY,

I don't need chemical stuff to do anything stupid:

janedoe@seductive.com

MATTERS OF THE HEART. AND LUNGS

On-call doctor says my heart sounds better and my O2 sats are up, but she still hears some coarse lung sounds. Seeing the cardiologist tomorrow. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

THINGS TO REMEMBER

1) Today is election day. If there is an election going on, go vote. 
2) The Red Sox won the World Series. There is no Major League Baseball until next spring. 
3) Set your clocks back if you haven't already.

SLEEPING BEAUTY

Woke up at 10:18 tonight. Why am I so tired? 

A) Mono (Too old)
B) Bitten by a tsetse fly
C) Pricked my finger on a spindle

janedoe@seductive.com 

HEARD FROM A BOUNCER AT MILLIE & AL'S

"I'm old school. Pull your pants up."

HELEN KELLER'S CAT

S sent this to me. He also sent me a blank Word document.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Los Angeles Times: http://latimes.com 

WEEK

I keep taking the bus past the Sunoco Station on U St but forget how much gas is.  Weather is chilly but not too bad, although I don’t like the darkness as much. Got a bunch of test results today, which prove I’m not crazy or just looking for attention. 

PUBLIC SERVANTS ANNOUNCEMENT

Set your clocks back if they don't do it themselves.

ALL SOUL'S DAY

Today is All Soul's Day, not a holy day of obligation. 

ALL SAINTS DAY

Today is All Saint's Day, a holy day of obligation. 

OCTOBER 31ST

Happy Halloween!

I AM LIKE A WALKING HELEN KELLER JOKE

I can't walk, can't talk and  have an eye infection so I  can't see. A deaf guy gave me his seat on the train at least we were both able to sign/speak our needs. D asked why I even came to work. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

DOW CLOSED...

...at a record high. I will be on crutches for at least three more weeks. Some asshole gave me the wrong boot, which made the pain and swelling worse. 

YAHRZEIT

My father died nine years ago today.

ANNIVERSARY

Ten years ago today I was robbed and threatened with murder: http://janedoesblog.blogspot.com/2003_10_01_archive.html#106737886289158409

NOT FUNNY

THIS WOULD BE A GOOD PROFILE PICTURE:

SLUT

Actually means "the end" in Swedish. And apparently it's a trend in Halloween costumes.

THIS IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS...

Biologically, theologically...

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Village Voice: http://villagevoice.com 

WEEK

It gets dark earlier every night. At least working the hours I do it's light when I head home.

SKULD

While I'm in a Bergman kick: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXGFo2WI2aw

Mom's doctor, who has never seen me, let alone examined me, says I have a stress fracture caused by inadequate footwear. Of course I feel guilty about this. 

NEWMAN!

I swear Paul Newman put crack in his salad dressing. I could drink the stuff out of the bottle. 

NAME THAT BABY

At least this guy admits there is not St. Todd: http://catholicexchange.com/guidelines-for-naming-your-baby 

GOT A NEW BOOT

It feels a little funny. And started wearing my contacts again. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

RED LETTER DAY

Eleven years ago today they caught the snipers. One year ago I was crying on your shoulder. 

PROBABLY ONE REASON I HAVE LITTLE TO NO CONTROL OVER ON-AIR-CONTENT:

BREAKING MY FOOT...

...did not suck as much as getting robbed. No one else got hurt.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE DAY AFTER THAT

I should really stop numbering days, since it's been over a year since the robbery. I am feeling kind of spacey and weird, probably from reading old posts right before and after it.

janedoe@seductive.com

SO MANY NIGHTS

V has referred to the weather as "apocalyptic" or "Armageddonish."

SHARP-DRESSED MAN

After over a year I realize I like looking at long-legged men in tapered pants and  long-sleeved shirts.

NEXT DAY

Sorry to be such a downer.

ORDER OF THE DAY

1) Work
2) Sleep
3) Blood draw 
4) Ultrasound. 

Not necessarily those in that order.

And I got tested for TB 
A) Because I've got bronchitis
B) Because I'm losing weight again. 

janedoe@seductive.com  

DAY

One year robbery-free! 

janedoe@seductive.com 

DAY

The robbery was one year ago today.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Baltimore Sun, hun: http://baltimoresun.com 

WEEK

Weather cooler, getting dark earlier. Boo. Battling bronchitis and conjunctivitis. Gas prices about the same as they were this time last year.

DAY

I want this pig. And he and his mate are up for adoption. See www.guineapigzone.com :

DAY

A second doctor is talking about putting a pacemaker in. 

janedoe@seductive.com

AS THE STOMACH TURNS

And the lungs or whatever. ER doc fucked up--it turns out the conjunctivitis I had was bacterial, not viral. And I've got bronchitis, too.

DAY

Federales are back at work.

DAY

My head is a snot factory. 

janedoe@catholicexchange.com 

CONVERSATION WITH MOM

Mom: I hope you don't have one of those ridiculous names.

Me: Um, I'm Janedoe, Radiobaby, Snipercatcher and Nicecatholicgirl.

Note: Nicecatholicgirl seems to evoke the most hostility on Youtube.

DAY

Dark chocolate and tart cherry juice.

BACK AT WORK

Got home from the ER at about 11AM yesterday, didn't leave home until 9PM tonight.

DAY

Happy Columbus Day. On the couch craving comfort food.

DAY

Running a fever of 100.2 and hurting all over. My eyes are fire-engine red and they are so gunked up my eyelashes are stuck together.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com 

WEEK

Incredibly wet weather, of course at the end of the week.

CONVERSATION WITH MOM

Me: I got tested for TB because I lost 23 pounds.

Mom: Oh. Yeah.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

Got a phone call about a bisexual bachelorette party. The bride is marrying a man but wants a female stripper. Some of the guests are going to be naked but I am told I can keep my clothes on. 

DAY

"Rabbi Shimmel's own wife was said to resemble a squid, but this was only in the face, and she more than made up for it by her hacking cough -- the point of which escapes me."

Woody Allen

See more at: http://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/2003/08/8142011-woody-allen-tonight-part-1-of.html#sthash.C09Z40ZQ.dpuf

DAY

Fucking rain. That's all I can say. 

DAY

It's fucking  ibuprofen, not morphine. Why are you giving me such a hard time?

RUNNING THE BOARD

And running a temperature. And may kill Frodo. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

DAY

Today is John Lennon's birthday. He would have been 73. Yesterday was my ex's birthday. I forget how old he would have been. This is a picture of Lennon, not my ex: 

CONVERSATION WITH MOM

Me: “…according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things…Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.”

Mom: You’ve been reading Woody Allen

DAY

I am worried about becoming an Ibuprofen junky. I used to be a heroin addict...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsHwIBR6ivA 

FRIEND WITH BENEFITS PACKAGE

Does it come with paid vacation? Holidays? Sick Days? Retirement?

 Profit-sharing?

janedoe@seductive.com

 

DAY

Saw Blue Caprice last night:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btxEOr34nw8
Not really historically accuratebut it reinforces the fact that Muhammad was nuts.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY

I like this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47dtFZ8CFo8
It kind of reminds me of Asia:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lza2H-fj5Es

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwFbNlQMGQM

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Los Angeles Times: http://www.latimes.com 

WEEK

Government shutdown is the big story this week. Temperatures were up to near 90, which takes the starch out of me. Not that it's relevant to me, but gas was going for $3.41/gallon at the Sunoco station on U St.

GAME OF THRONES

The handicap bathroom is not a shrine. 

DAY

Why am I so tired all the time? 

DAY

Went to Georgetown for a heart scan. It's cool to watch yourself flatline.

The last couple days I feel as though I've been beaten up. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

DAY

OMG, I was on the Hill today, just missed this: http://www.wjla.com/articles/2013/10/u-s-capitol-on-lockdown-94855.html

DAY

The first of the Beltway sniper shootings occurred eleven years ago today. There is a movie about it called Blue Caprice. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

DAY

M commented on my survival skills. He's not the first.

DAY

Slept about 20 hours today.

janedoe@seductive.com 
 

BABY BLUE

The final song on Breaking Bad, otherwise breaking Badfinger:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkA7xQb6uPk

 

DAY

From Jim Bohannon: 

"Rest.  Heal.  Be your vibrant self again, Jane."

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the San Francisco Chronicle: http://www.sfchronicle.com 

WEEK

Weather cooler but still nice. Trying to get well.

DAY

SEPTEMBER SONG

Allow me to sing you a song of my people. Earthlink, you suck beyond all levels of sucking:

DAY

Sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself, would like to be in a nice warm place eating lasagna with a fun person.

DAY

Pretty much out of sorts/under the weather. I guess there is no expression for "in sorts" or "over the weather."

IMAGES FROM LAST WEEK'S NAVY YARD SHOOTING

http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/23528414/photos-and-video-of-navy-yard-shooting-released-by-fbi#ixzz2fvpYcF78

GREEN EGGS AND CRUZ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9EX2XkpPgE

DAY

Headed to the hospital for a body scan--bought new panties for the occasion.

SCRATCH THAT

Make that six. I get fitted for a walking boot.

DAY

So far five medical appointments in one week. Can't beat that with a stick. B says  "I
 hope all those doctors can put you back together again."

DAY

I guess my heart must just be slowing down. Literally. 58 BPM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBHoMvq_tmY

FIRST DAY OF FALL

Ugh. Boo.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE DO COME AROUND

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8dh9gDzmz8

And if they don't it's not the end of the world.

DAY

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the New York Post: http://www.nypost.com

RENDEZVOUS LOUNGE VICTIM DIES

See http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/case-ruled-a-homicide-after-man-hurt-trying-to-subdue-patron-at-adams-morgan-bar-dies/2013/09/21/19d2cd60-22de-11e3-b73c-aab60bf735d0_story.html

Only reason I wasn't there was because my foot was hurting. 

WEEK

Navy Yard shootings are the big thing in the news. Ironically, one of G's friends said something about getting me a job there years ago. Weather was beautiful but nasty tonight. Foot is swollen like a balloon, thinking the pain meds are messing with my head.

BLURRED LINES

I wanna get nasty, but am conflicted about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDUC1LUXSU

DAY

Ok, I'm gonna say it. Broken bones are not contagious. I will not infect you with anything, I am not gonna bite you, sexually molest you,  or hit you with a crutch and I certainly can't chase you unless you're REALLY slow.  Some of you who were really sweet after the robbery now are pretending nothing happened. There is nothing  for you or me to feel embarrassed about--I do not have cancer or any other horrible incurable disease, I was not driving drunk or high, I was not in a bar fight and I was not raped. It's ok to ask, it's the awkward looks I can do without. And yes, I realize I ended a sentence with a preposition. 

WENT AHEAD, MADE HIS DAY

Went to Chipotle in Columbia Heights, was inwardly grousing about the line, the wait time, the crowdedness, the fact that customers had to clean their own tables, the fact that some teenagers were sitting there after finishing their meal and the general ghetto-ness of the peeps there. Was thinking of complaining to corporate until the manager looked at me and said "this lady made my day." I couldn't imagine why until he told me a woman before me came in with a cane, demanded to get to the front of the line and threatened to complain to corporate. After that he and his staff treated me like a princess...

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY

The robbery was eleven months ago today.

Janedoe@seductive.com

DAY

Last night I told a guy about being to embarrassed to ask T to carry me when my foot was hurting. He said he envisioned him carrying me like Kevin Costner carrying Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU

DAY

I can't believe I missed the Jewish Holidays. A belated Good Yontiff to all and may all of our names be written in the book of life for the next year.

DAY

Got a posterior splint for my leg. Romany are hassling me.

13 DEAD

For more on the Washington Navy Yard shootings see www.facebook.com/snipercatcher and www.twitter.com/snipercatcher

DAY

Networks confirm twelve dead at Washington Navy Yard. Good thing I've been laid up, am typing this from the couch.

WAITING TO EXHALE

Loved the part in which Lela Rochon refers to her date as a "human submarine sandwich." Ironically, his name is Michael.

DAY

Missed the Virginia Wine Festival.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Baltimore Sun: http://www.baltimoresun.com

WEEK

Weather went up into the 90's, absolutely gorgeous today. Foot still hurting me, waiting for referral to podiatrist.

DAY

Foods that are better than sex:

1) Mille & Al’s mozzarella fries, either with marinara or barbecue sauce

2) Samosas At Halal Kabob

3) Fried crepes at Bistro Napoleon

DAY

Sometimes being out of love is better than being in it. 

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY

Not fun weather if you're on crutches. 

DAY

DAY

Went to the condo garden party. Hope it won't be my last. Will have to wait another week to see the podiatrist.

DAY

Started on calcium and 50,000 IU Vitamin D supplement.

DAY

Didn't spend Adams Morgan Day as I had planned, but it was a good one.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington City Paper: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com

WEEK

Syria is the big story in the news.

DAY

Still in pain, but definitely no worse.

CONVERSATION ON 18TH ST IN ADAMS MORGAN

Me: What's going on? Did someone else get pushed down a flight of stairs? 

Channel 4 Reporter: No, is that what happened to you?

I guess you had to be there...

DAY

Turns out my Vitamin D level was low, which might have led to or at least partly led to the break. Starting on supplements Monday. M says a lot of people generally feel better when they start on huge doses of Vitamin D.

FOOT IS BROKEN

May require surgery.

DAY

In the Washington Hospital Center ER

DAY

The Rendezvous Lounge is open again.

DAY

I want to cry. Am walking like House. And to make it better have been playing stuff about the Titanic.

DAY

LABOUR DAY. 

Laboured most of the weekend. 

Sunday Paper

DAY

No one believes anything I tell them. I feel like the least-believed woman in DC. If there were a kiddy book about me it would be titled Nobody Listens to Janey. 

THIS LITTLE PIGGY

Got stepped on. The one with the corn and the hammer toe, that is. I have nine other toes, why did the guy at Mac's have to step on that one?

Bought a pair of LA Gear running shoes. They may look silly, but so does walking around like Long John Silver. Or Captain Ahab.

DAY

Rendezvous Lounge is closed for the next 72 hours, the Reef is closed for good. And the little Adams Morgan soap opera continues.

DAY

Newschannel 8 reports a man was pushed down a flight of stairs at the Rendezsvous lounge this morning. Good thing I went home early: http://www.wjla.com/articles/2013/08/adams-morgan-assault-sends-one-to-hospital-93393.html

DAY

HE HAD A DREAM

But I did nothing special to commemorate the day. It's the American way. 

janedoe@seductive.com 

DAY

The Reef on 18th St. in Adams Morgan is closing permanently. I was there when the stabbing happened.

DAY

DAY

Thinking of telling jokes at Open Mic Night at the Mount Pleasant Library: http://www.dclibrary.org/node/36468

I want my MTV

DAY

Not funny. Would it be funny if they had the seven cancer dwarfs? The seven diabetes dwarfs? I'm in fucking pain:

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Los Angeles Times: www.latimes.com 

WEEK

Weather has been like a fairy tale the last couple days. Sleeping is my main goal.

DAY

It's amazing who your fans are sometimes. And your heroes. 

DAY

Congratulations to Kim and Patrick O'Donnell. They are proof that Karma's not a bitch if you aren't one. Now go eat there: 

www.littlefountaincafe.com 

https://www.facebook.com/littlefountaincafe?fref=ts

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON CHARITY...

....pleasure's real or is it fantasy? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU3-lS_Gryk

DAY

From one high school classmate to another:

''Okay, here's the deal: You want drama with me? Here it is for all to see: I have friends going through real pain & problems. You have a website shilling for others pay for your wedding to an out of work loser w/ FIVE previous failed marriages. I have family members that thank God for every breath they take, you have the nerve to blast my sister for suggesting that maybe you can't really afford to get married right now. You have no clue what it's like to worry about anyone but yourself, ever, because you've never had to. And, no, in this case, bunnies don't count. Grow up & grow a pair. You're 51 & you need to stop expecting others to solve your self made "problems". Yes, I'm in pain, and therefore a bitch, but you've used my friends & family enough. ENOUGH. I'm sorry we aren't "friends" anymore, but I'm thankful that I don't have to read anymore of your damn haiku's, and even if my father could have gotten you a job w/ NPR, he wouldn't have, because you are no professional & certainly no serious journalist. You are an Emo, a 51 yr old Emo, which just makes it SAD.''

DAY

DAY

The robbery was ten months ago today. If I had a time machine, I would make it all un-happen ):

DAY

Allow me to sing you  a song of my people. Metro, you suck beyond all degrees of sucking:

DAY

Linked in opens up new pain for me: www.linkedin.com/in/janehautanen

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the New York Times: http://newyorktimes.com

WEEK

Weather getting a lot cooler, feeling VERY tired....

DAY

Q: Did you go to school stupid?

A: Yeah, and I came back that way.

DAY

Today is the feast of the Assumption. Did not go to mass but lit a candle. 

DAY

My Birthday. 

J IS RIGHT

I am a badass.

DAY

This is war: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zqRYGlkgjE

DAY

Slept about 14 hours today.

DAY

 Asshole relief guy didn't show up, just got up a while ago

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Washington City Paper: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com 

WEEK

CHAIN OF WEIRDNESS...

It's been more than six months:
http://janedoesblog.blogspot.com/2013_01_01_archive.html#708188030149806926

I need to update this and mention the accident, Aunt Rose's death, having my bank accounts frozen and being exposed to tuberculosis...

DAY

CRIME SCENE

Apparent stabbing at the Reef on18th St. in Adams Morgan.

CLASS ACT

Bitch passed out cold in front of the SunTrust in AdMo. And her wig fell off. Can't beat that with a stick.

DAY

Really, Washington Hospital Centre? More than two months for a follow-up appointment? Am I supposed to stay tired, fat and miserable until then? Do I have to do something desperate and land in your ER and you realize how lousy I've been feeling? You suck.

DAY

Yo Mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes:

http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/yomamasostupidjokes.html

DAY

Everything hurts.

DAY

Weight down 17 lbs from last September and up at least six lbs from my last doctor's visit, heart rate/BP are taking another nose dive but then up to 140/90 at Rite Aid. You can't imagine this kind of stuff.

DAY

Two worthy causes: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/little-fountain-cafe-outside-patio-permit and www.savethetabard.com