DAY 44

PLEASANT SURPRISES

Life really is full of them. Went to the Wammies tonight. Now, for that blood draw in about eight hours...

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Chattanooga Times Free Press.

DAY 43

I am getting slap happy. Less than three hours until I get off work and I am reading about Pop Tarts starting fires. Unfortunately, I find this funny.

WEEK NINE

The weather’s getting warmer, not much snow this week. My weight is holding and I’m not as hungry as I’ve been.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE FUN KEEPS COMIN'

...and comin' and comin'....

so I'm at a computer workshop and my cell phone rings. It's my doctor's office telling me some of my levels are elevated, which they haven't been. So I have to bulk up on protein over the weekend and not drink anything but water after 10:30 Sunday night.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 42

BLOW, THOU BITTER WIND

Winds are 50 Mph in DC and I'm scared.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 41

MADE MY DAY

Tried to sign up for a class for students 50 and older. The woman on the phone said "come back when you're 50."

DAY 40

Wow, I have been writing this blog almost as long as Lent lasts.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 39

SOME OF YOU MAY NOT LIKE THIS

World Catholic Population On the Increase:

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/world/view/20100221-254463/Worlds-Catholic-population-increases-Vatican

DAY 38

KICK IT IN SECOND WIND

Little chance of that tonight. I took two generic Advil PM.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 37

ALL G-D'S CRITTERS

Some bitch at church called me fat. Hostilities escalated. I flipped her the bird and felt guilty about it. Then M reminded me the bird is one of G-d's creatures.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Lafayette Advertiser.

DAY 35

HAIG DEAD

Alexander Haig is no longer in charge.

WEEK EIGHT

I am making good on my New Year’s resolution to bump up my ‘puter skills. And looking forward to a lot of growth this Lent.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 34

NO MEAT AND NO BOOZE

Makes Friday at the Press Club less fun, but possibly more productive.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 33

Commander Salamander may not have to close after all. Maybe there's hope for other businesses.

DAY 32

Or, Maryland crab soup. They were almost out of it at Whole Foods. Mom sez they make it with beef. You'd think they'd be more culturally sensitive on both counts.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 31

GUNG HEE FAT CHOY/LAISSEZ LE BON TEMPS ROULER!

In observance of Mardi Gras and the Chinese year of the metal tiger, I ate noodles with meat.

THE RABBIT HOLE

Anyone else feel as though they've fallen down one?

DAY 30

THE BEATEN PATH

The Taft Bridge is easier to cross. Not that the city plowed it or dug a path, they just sprinkled sand on it. And enough people have trampled down the snow to make a path. That's kind of the way it works in life -- things change for the better with enough time. And people.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 29

THE MENSA SONG, PERHAPS NOT TOTALLY APPROPRIATE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY:

(Sung to the tune of "MacNamara's Band")


We have a club called Mensa and we think it's really grand
Although we're few in numbers we're the finest in the land
We dabble in computers and degrees and works of art
A few of us are talented, but all of us are smart

CHORUS:
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM-DUM
BUT THE MEMBERSHIP OF MENSA IS AS BRILLIANT AS THEY COME.

Our members are a motley crew in terms of their physique
They're short and tall and thin and fat and powerful and weak
And some are photogenic, and some would break your heart
A few of us are beautiful, but all of us are smart

CHORUS:
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM-DUM
BUT THE MEMBERSHIP OF MENSA IS AS BRILLIANT AS THEY COME.

We have a lot of parties where we talk a deep blue streak
The problems of the universe would take us just a week
And even if we sometimes put the horse before the cart
A few of us are practical, but all of us are smart.

CHORUS:
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM-DUM
BUT THE MEMBERSHIP OF MENSA IS AS BRILLIANT AS THEY COME.

Mentality is what we claim, we prove it by a test
At filling in the proper box we surely are the best
A few of us have healthy minds but there's another part
A few of us are paranoid, but all of us are smart.

CHORUS:
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM-DUM
BUT THE MEMBERSHIP OF MENSA IS AS BRILLIANT AS THEY COME.

Our manners are quite varied, as i'm sure you will agree
The best of us speak softly 'mid the cakes and cups of tea
While others smoke, and drink a lot, and curse and belch and fart
A few of us are very nice, but all of us are smart.

CHORUS:
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM
OTHERS ARE DUM-DE-DUM-DE-DUM-DUM
BUT THE MEMBERSHIP OF MENSA IS AS BRILLIANT AS THEY COME.


Lyrics by Joe McLellan. Words, too.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the York Daily Record.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj2qsgT1uTc

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/10-best-Super-Bowl-commercials-0207210?GT1=39002

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykU8iSKkJR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UY5sZPU32s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuUV1ME5WbQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4huaX0UAFGM

http://janedoesvlog.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQj2np9BU_g&feature=related

DAY 28

CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES

I don't want to go back to my condo after being put up in a suite because it's a pigsty. My facebook friend mourns loss of her "happy hormones" after giving birth. So it's easy for me to suggest she see an endocrinologist. Why can't I get my act together and make my condo a place I don't want to leave?

WEEK SEVEN

Record snowfalls this week. So what have I learnt? To appreciate having enough of everything. And having people around. And realized how long it’s been since I ate a meal with anyone. Or had a cup of coffee with anyone, male or female.

janedoe@seductive.com

LAST FRIDAY

This will be the last Friday until April that I can eat meat. Or drink. Crap.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 27

BACK TO NORMAL

Such as it is.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 26

MILK, BREAD AND TOILET PAPER II

Forget those items. Canned soup and fresh vegetables seem to be the most in demand items. It's like being in a war zone.

DAY 25

LA DOLCE VITA

Or "the suite life."

DAY 24

MURTHA DEAD

Congressman John Murtha (D-PA) died yesterday. Mom says he came to four of our family funerals.

WHO DAT?

The New Orleans Saints are the winners of Superbowl #44. This was their first Superbowl ever after being considered a joke for 40 years and a little more than four years after Hurricane Katrina.

So if a city can turn itself around, maybe a person can, too.

janedoe@seductive.com

HOME SWEET HOME

Nothing sweeter than coming home to the sound of happy, healthy shrieking pigs.

DAY 22 -- JALAPEÑO! JALAPEÑO!

So http://theedge1059.com ‘s Superbowl Party is cancelled. I am eating what is left of my stash of Jalapeño Popper Doritos. This recipe claims to be the best ever for jalapeño poppers: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/best-ever-jalapeno-poppers/detail.aspx

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Lexington Herald-Leader.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHUu6jTjp1s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5FpVZw6rSs&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulzDKHhZe5U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egEZVzeGimw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR68DWMpK8Q

http://www.youtube.com/prayersfordummies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4nYWAOjebY&feature=related

DAY 21

MILK, BREAD AND TOILET PAPER

"What is it about snow that makes people shit?"

Dave Kelly

WEEK SIX

Hmmm, the big things this week? Possibly the biggest snowstorm DC has ever had, except maybe 300 years ago. The stock market being down, unemployment going up, Tai Shan the panda going back to China. And I am hungry all the time.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 20

THE GATHERED STORM

I am at the Courtyard by the Marriott for the weekend.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 19

What I bought to prepare for the storm:

1) Vodka
2) Lettuce
3) Banquet frozen dinners
4) Doritos
5) Pepperidge Farm Cookies
6) Oatmeal
7) Zazz and Cherry Coke Zero

DAY 18 -- THE GATHERING STORM

DC is gearing up for yet another storm. On the bright side, I am looking forward to a minibar/sauna orgy.

janedoe@seductive.com

DAY 17

I have decided to buy a second computer and go back to computer school. Let's hope it was a better decision than massage school.

DAY 16

IMPRESSED

Domino's actually called me when I e-mailed them and told them I didn't like their new sauce as much as the old. They are refunding my money, even after I lost the receipt and Assaholous Rex tossed the box.

Ok, so I'm easily impressed.

janedoe@seductive.com