"GOOD BYE OLD YEAR, YOU OAF..."

or "why didn't you pay us a bonus?"

Ogden Nash

It should be "good bye, old decade, you oaf."

INFAMY

Eight years ago today I started an adventure which began inauspiciously and ended badly. But a lot of the middle was good.

janedoe@seductive.com

FORTUNATELY

Unfortunately the plane's engines failed.
Fortunately he had a parachute.
Unfortunately the parachute failed to open.
Fortunately there was a haystack directly below.
Unfortunately there was a pitchfork in the haystack.
Fortunately he missed the pitchfork.
Unfortunately he missed the haystack.

That's how things have been the last couple of days.

KITTY COMES MARCHING HOME

Disregard previous post.

janedoe@seductive.com

MOM'S CAT IS MISSING

See http://sarasota.craigslist.org/com/1526468050.html

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for Florida Today

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TFv24IieUo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCfd8YXvyVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj40QT_evHc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ7iyRJrFg8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG9QyKxYUxw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dw7GE_BYjI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9morqKUH0Sw

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/a/9A1886F0AF830C67/0/cPkHnqvqbZU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGXg7A5hwwo&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=7

500 DAYS OF SUMMER

Figured out whom Joseph Gordon-Levitt reminds me of. The liver-eating mutant on the "X-files."And what kind of name is "Zooey?" What's it short for, "Zookeeper?" And why does she dress like something out of the '60's?

Tom reminds me of myself. Doesn't want closure, wants to get back together with Summer, whom he needlessly worships and has made it clear she doesn't want to be anyone's GF.

SOPHIE'S MORE ENVIABLE CHOICE

So as all my Christmas Day plans fell through and I had a bunch of Blockbuster coupons, I decided to be Jewish – see a movie and eat Chinese. Saw “It’s Complicated” in Chinatown. People walked out of the theatre as though they had just seen “Schindler’s List.” While I might not have agreed with Meryl Streep’s decision at the end, it was a happier ending than “Sophie’s Choice.” And nice to know we DO have a choice.

Rented “500 Days of Summer.” In the first film the people were older than me, in this one they were young enough to be my children. I asked myself if I am as annoying as some of the people in this movie and cringed at the thought that I might be. Again it’s nice to know that maybe we are capable of and entitled to more than we think. And that we DO have choices and that usually things work out.

WEEK 52

The last week of the year -- not sure whether I miscounted or what. Not a bad week -- recovering from the storm and realizing maybe there is something to this peace on earth good will towards men thing.

I had a nice if unconventional Christmas, which is good considering what I hear about other people's holidays. Maybe it's our turn to have a merry Christmas.

janedoe@seductive.com

FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN II

This video really blew me away: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUio9vCKtfw

janedoe@seductive.com

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Actually ‘tis Christmas now. Had a great Christmas Eve. Got a card from someone on whom I had given up and a $20.00 Starbucks gift card from J. Also I had an attractive client who smelled good and gave me a nice tip.

Made it to midnight mass – they sang “For Unto Us A Child is Born” and the priest preached a pretty good sermon. Lit a candle for G who asked when the church is gonna burn.

Understandably George didn’t want to go out this morning because of the threat of freezing rain. If my evening plans fall through I will be Jewish – eat Chinese and take in a movie.

janedoe@seductive.com

HALLELUJAH!

http://noolmusic.com/my_video/farting_preacher_jingle_fart_-_comedy_video.php

janedoe@seductive.com

FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUruXYDDpvE

janedoe@seductive.com

FELIZ NAVIDAD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihW56Xa3XGQ

BLESSED SOLSTICE/CHRISTMAS

Finished almost all my Christmas shopping, sent out almost ten per cent of my cards. And I realize Christmas is not a curse. Having family and friends to write to/shop for and parties to attend are a good thing, even if you have to bring a covered dish to the pot luck.

Not having family and friends are much worse.

janedoe@seductive.com

FOLLOW THIS GUY...

...and help a good cause: http://twitter.com/westwingreport

My twitter page is www.twitter.com/snipercatcher

THE DAY AFTER

Or maybe the day after the day after. Snow stopped yesterday. Main roads in DC are clear but side streets are not. Some sidewalks are clear, some are not. I think it's the same in Virginia. People are, or at least I am, feeling grouchy.

janedoe@seductive.com

ON BEING AN ASSHOLE

Embassy Suites has free HBO, so I made sure to take advantage of that. Saw part of "Taken" with Liam Neeson. In one scene Neeson is making a deal with a French pimp. The pimp says it will be 50 Euros. Plus another 50 "for being an asshole." I wish I could charge for that.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Fort Pierce Tribune.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi_E0dee1Wc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hziy5xh6tIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6g5X2hGab0&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/18/fWPLQleEB4Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M_XyEzNlIE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJOe3CXE-mA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsat4e8jgHA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZC3MsWb0OE

http://www.youtube.com/nicecatholicgirl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twnKHfG36KI&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=6

THE PIGS ARE ALL RIGHT

For a change the forecasters were right -- this weekend's snow DID set records. We got put up in a hotel, which was nice -- the closest I get to a vacation.Took the train home to feed/medicate the pigs, who were much less phased by not being fed/hydrated than I thought they would be.

WEEK 51

Feeling kind of disoriented. Catching up and still behind, but happy to realize that forgiveness IS possible. And as usual wondering how something like Christmas, which should be about love, friendship and brotherhood, can generate so much ill will.
And realizing my life is fixable.

janedoe@seductive.com

ARMAGEDDON IT

The National Weather Service is predicting meteorological Armageddon. And I have no idea who's relieving me and when.

janedoe@seductive.com

THAT SMELL

I am not trying to be funny, but three people in my neighbourhood Listerve have complained about a foul garbage/sewage smell on Connecticut Avenue, going from L St to Rodman St. I called WASA, they are not aware of any sewage line breaks or anything similar.

"DO NOT STEAL ME AWAY...

...or I will scream." Label on a pen in the WPST control room.

"YOU MUST BE THIS TALL...

...to ride in this anchor chair."Label on a step-stool at Westwood one, most likely attributable to Jim Bohannon.

janedoe@seductive.com

ORAL ROBERTS DEAD

Oral Roberts died today. Not sure how he felt about Catholics. Or how the felt about them.

BAD ENERGY DAY

Lots of bad energy generated by clients in the studio. So I passed around oil to all present.

janedoe@seductive.com

GAUDETE SUNDAY

Today is Gaudete (meaning "rejoice!") Sunday. We celebrate with pink candles and vestments. The nun who taught us religion sophomore year in high school said it means "hang in there."

GLAD LUCIA!

Today is the feast of St Lucia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2-Q_ObdE-4&feature=related

As one Swedish blogger sez "Remember – the lady brings light with her. Soon the days will start getting longer again!"

http://www.transparent.com/swedish/sankta-lucia

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Mobile Press Register.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2umfdV-Bu28

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCfd8YXvyVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IYlIn1wRPA

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/19/SK74HFTK3AA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrd9p47MPHg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZUgr1zh878

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL_KCcSn6Rg&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8LmMtScH3g

http://www.youtube.com/prayersfordummies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNKyKjNHFew&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=5

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

Just happened to tune into it while waiting for some news. And a good thing. I realized:

1) People are usually willing to help you.
2) No man is a failure who has friends (Mark Twain)
3) Clarence the angel DOES get his wings.

THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE

Right now I am listening to nothing but the whirring of my computer fan and the keys clicking. And that's not so bad.

WEEK 50

Tiger Woods and the White House party crashers are right up there with the Nobel prizes this week. It's colder and I am doing my best to keep myself and the pigs healthy. Oh, and I forgot to mention I am finally over the great love of my life, which is wonderful.

janedoe@seductive.com

EIGHT CRAZY DAYS...

...and eight crazy nights. Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and also Shabbos. When you work the hours I do you are okay with any holiday that celebrates light -- Christmas, Chanukah, Jul, Solstice, Divali, Lucia Day...

janedoe@seductive.com

THREE BIG EVENTS

One in DC, one in Baltimore, the other in Falls Church. Couldn't go to any of them, but not too bummed out.

LAMBDA CLOSING

Lambda Rising is closing. They were nice enough to let me place business cards there. And it was a great place to take my dates.

janedoe@seductive.com

TWO OBSERVATIONS

1) The Immaculate Conception of Our Lady

2) The death of John Lennon.I remember where I was and what I was doing the night of the second. Don't remember the night of the first -- must have been a past life.

AIN'T NO SUNSHINE

is a good song for today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo

janedoe@seductive.com

STILL CATHOLIC AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Today is St. Nicholas Day. And the anniversary of my first communion.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Lakeland Ledger: http://www.theledger.com/

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SysPacymOIw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_ZxDcVdDUc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RISxUjlMn5k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZF_XheUTCs

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/20/eMmSwr2iZAA

http://noolmusic.com/my_video/farting_preacher_jingle_fart_-_comedy_video.php

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/f/33/3sQPm8DlCP0

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/f/32/vgzSNu1dSK4

http://janedoesvlog.blogspot.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo14nBX-8vM&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=4

THE FIRST SNOW

We had the first snow of the season today, another sign that it's time to stay home.

janedoe@seductive.com

WEEK 49

Not too bad. The biggest stories are about Tiger Woods and the Salahis.If nothing else this gives me reason to be more careful which parties I crash.

janedoe@seductive.com

I HAD THE GREATEST DREAM

I dreamt I was buying something out of a vending machine and put in the exact amount of change. The machine gave me some coins, then one bill after another. The denomimations got bigger and bigger. I had so many I had to find a box to carry everything. We were living in the old house in Falls Church.

Mom says I should tell Dr. S about this.

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS

Get your pet's picture taken with Santa: http://alexandriaanimals.org/~awla/special_events.cfm

A RAINY NIGHT IN GA

Okay, make that DC. Went to Tryst, could not get an Internet connection, took it as a sign that G-d does not want us to be online 24-7.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE HOLIDAYS

So now we are in that period known as "the holidays." For me it begins Thanksgiving Day and ends Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras or Chinese New Year. Whichever comes last.