DAMN!

Met a drag queen whose make up looked better than mine.

>Sigh<

janedoe@seductive.com

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY

Started out crappy but ended pretty well. Some days are like that.

A FUCKING WITCH

Bossman called me a "fuckin' witch." I actually take it as a compliment, although I am not a witch and was not fucking at the time.

janedoe@seductive.com

"EVERY BEAUTY...

...needs to go out with an idiot."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmJgdXkAqMU

U2

Does anyone else find this insulting to women? I love the song but find the video annoying -- the characters look like X-Files aliens with their oversized eyes. Also, the line "every beauty needs to go out with an idiot." If that 's true, judging by the idiots I've dated, I would say I was the most gorgeous woman in the world.

Beautiful women are not automatically intelligent. It would be a better comparison if they had written "every beauty needs to go out with an uggo," "every smart woman needs to go out with a moron" or "every nice woman needs to go out with an asshole."

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Arkansas Catholic.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#play/all/uploads-all/2/vaINtyIV3sg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMxGvl_PNGo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4aHRnrqhPY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBNqUdqm1E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmJgdXkAqMU

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#play/uploads/26/DlUqybC0Lg0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSuR2IgnimA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Byxc65iIEL0

http://www.youtube.com/nicecatholicgirl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryGgfE7hq30&feature=related

THINGS COULD BE WORSE

I could live near a blimp-docking station.

WEEK 39

Weather's been pretty good (seems to be an observation in most Friday posts) and other than a minor scare with the city government things have not been too bad. That and looking at the beautiful people of Georgetown and wishing I were one. And wondering if I couldn't be one now if I had done things differently.

janedoe@seductive.com

MAYBE...

...things aren't nearly as bad as they seem.

janedoe@seductive.com

BATHROOM TOKENS FROM HEAVEN

Whenever I hear that song Pennies From Heaven I think of the movie with Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters, set during the '30's when things were even worse than they are now. And, corny as it sounds, whenever I find a penny on the sidewalk I think of G-d watching over us, reminding us that He's there.

This morning on my way home I saw something shiny on the ground, but it wasn't a penny -- it was a bathroom token. Not a bad way to start the day.

TEMPUS FUGIT II

My late grandmother would have been 102 years old today. It's been more than five years since she died. Tempus Fugit.

Today is also the feast of St. Linus , known far and wide for his holy blanket. He was martyred at the hands of his sister, St. Lucy of Van Pelt (Thanks to Tim Boyer and Jim Walsh for these contributions.

janedoe@seductive.com

STRANGE DAYS, INDEED II

My Day:

1) First client arrives, not wearing underwear, doesn't tip.
2) Second client tells me he "feels like a million dollars" and tips about 30%.
3) Before the massage is over third client says "this is absolutely awful" and insists on stopping the massage. Naturally the bitch doesn't tip. I don't care if she hears me calling her "bitch" as she flounces out the door.
4) Fourth client cannot say enough nice things about me and my massage, to the point of making porno-movie noises throughout the session. He tips slightly more than ten per cent.

AUTUMNAL EQUINOX

A joyous autumnal equinox to all!

PERMANENT SOLUTION

Got my hair permed a la Robert Plant.

janedoe@seductive.com

HANGIN' WITH MR....

So I'm on Dupont Circle hustling clients and I give a guy my card. Then a little while later I run into him at Kramer's, thinking he wants a session. And I realize he's just bored and wants to "hang" with me. In the past when guys said that they wanted sex, and it's been a while since anyone proposed that.

Still, it was kind of nice.

BALTIMORE/DC PIGNIC!

Annual MGPR Fall Pignic Sunday, September 27, 2009

Our PIGSTRAVAGANZA "Pignic" will held on Sunday, September 27. See http://www.pigloo.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3856

janedoe@cutemail.com

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Charleston Post and Courier.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#play/all/uploads-all/0/3sRPXn8OTEQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RISxUjlMn5k&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeFdYp5rU-0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ--LUfitJs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncxt0oCPXFE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VsYyHAbIwc

http://www.youtube.com/user/taylorswift?blend=1&ob=4

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#play/uploads/28/qbaUQLp8qV8

http://www.youtube.com/prayersfordummies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx8p14pBJ9E&feature=related

ST. JANUARIUS

Today is the feast of St. Januarius, patron of blood
banks:

http://catholicexchange.com/2009/09/19/79484/

IF YOU'RE JEWISH

Why are you reading this?

FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND II

Going to one at the press club this afternoon.

WEEK 38

The weather started out nasty and grey but ended up better. Cops are trying to bust me. Baby Pandora seems to be getting over her UTI and there may be help for me, too. I don’t have a UTI.

janedoe@seductive.com

NEW YEAR

Happy New Year 5770!

janedoe@seductive.com

I SAW A DUCK THE OTHER DAY

And thought of you.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE BOY WHO WENT TO THE NORTH WIND

I read this in elementary
school:
http://rickwalton.com/folktale/junior36.htm

and

http://www.feri.com/dawn/theboy.htmlI wish I had the nerve to ask the North Wind for my meal back.

ZZZZZZ

Trying to stay awake after busting my ass the last several days.

janedoe@seductive.com

IN THIS ECONOMY...

...you can't give stuff away. Unless you sell it very cheaply. Then people will want it free, or at a deeper discount.

TWO DEATHS

Jody Powell and Patrick Swayze in one day. Jody Powell was younger than me when he was Jimmy Carter's Press Secretary. Didn't realize how much older Patrick Swayze was.

janedoe@seductive.com

ADAMS MORGAN DAY

Today is Adams Morgan Day: http://www.adamsmorgandayfestival.com/

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Syracuse Post-Standard.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#play/all/uploads-all/2/mB3edNE-3Dc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0P0aS4CBBY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIhv26Lh460

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#play/uploads/29/6UY5sZPU32s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV0lACQdbxM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXWkIZUPmDY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hitMpM-P-Bs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiXBck3PPpU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyR-L6EZETU&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igjbXZCebxM&feature=related

I THINK THAT I SHALL NEVER SEE....

...a poem lovely as a tree. Lots of young trees in NW DC, which is a good thing. Many of them have containers of water at their bases which lets them get small amounts of water continuously. Which is good, as they don't get doused with water, which then dries up. That's how lots of things should be -- small amounts at consistent regular intervals. I just wonder if they draw mosquitoes.

A prof at CU told us about some nutty old guy in his neighbourhood who had a junked bathtub in his back yard. It filled up with water and mosquitoes and to authorities tried to remove it. The old guy got indignant and said "that's my bathtub and them's my mosquitoes." He did have a point, even if they spread disease.

ADAMS MORGAN DAY

Tomorrow is Adams Morgan Day: http://www.adamsmorgandayfestival.com/

WEEK 37

The weather has been cooler and for the most part not very nice. Neither has my massage business. People want massages, but are calling at all the wrong times. I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness, what with September 11th, also the Christian Scientists I've been exposed to and a 20/20 episode on the Amish...

janedoe@seductive.com

ON TV

Me with Roz Plater from Channel 5 yesterday:

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/local/091009_cyclists_wage_battle_over_ghost_bikes

janedoe@seductive.com

SEPTEMBER 11TH

I had forgotten it until about noon today. Is that a bad thing?

janedoe@seductive.com

EVEN WEIRDER TODAY

A woman asked me if I was (were?) Jesus.

THE JOYS OF MULTI-FAMILY HOUSING

Listening to your neighbours having sex at 1:30 AM. Not.

janedoe@seductive.com

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WEIRDER

A guy came into my office without knocking, looking for a psychiatrist.

A CHEAP CURE II

Evidently I am a cheap alternative to psycho/physical therapy. And I am not the only one. Mom commented on how miserable some of the women at the Golden Door looked. I guess for some of them it's a preferable alternative to the Betty Ford Clinic/institutionalization/incarceration.

janedoe@seductive.com

OZYMANDIAS

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away

Percy Bysshe Shelley

I forget when I read this poem first, in high school or college. At any rate, to me anonymity is worse than poverty.

janedoe@seductive.com

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Monterey Herald.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#play/all/uploads-all/0/qC4qOoQuQIg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuUV1ME5WbQ

http://s236.photobucket.com/albums/ff240/fooma2001/?action=view&current=Untitled7.flv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMbIElTpCjo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k1ccguXiws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlYZbvmgx8E

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#play/uploads/32/YR68DWMpK8Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Zagp-4B3jc

http://www.youtube.com/prayersfordummies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjp3dLfXd5w&feature=related

THUNDER ROAD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsJsjaYm03E

The screen door slams
Mary's dress sways
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
Darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me
You can hide `neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now?
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow
Back your hair
Well the nights busting open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting on down the tracks
Oh-oh come take my hand
Riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh-oh thunder road, oh thunder road oh thunder road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it's late we can make it if we run
Oh thunder road, sit tight take hold
Thunder road
Well I got this guitar
And I learned how to make it talk
And my cars out backIf you're ready to take that long walk
From your front porch to my front seat
The doors open but the ride it ain't free
And I know you're lonely
For words that I ain't spoken
But tonight well be free
All the promises'll be broken
There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
In the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets
They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they're gone
On the wind, so mary climb in
Its a town full of losers
And I'm pulling out of here to win.

Bruce Springsteen

When I interned at DC 101 it was my job to type rotation cards. Yeah, that's when we still used typewriters. I accidentally typed "Thunder Toad." Thought that was funny.

WEEK 36

Huh. It never fails. Wash your car and it rains. Install a new A/C and fridge and the temperature drops about 20 degrees. I am feeling a little relief, anticipating some new programs which may be open to us. And just hanging in there, day after day.

janedoe@seductive.com

I FEEL GOOD

S. called me a good pig mom.

janedoe@seductive.com

TUCKERED OUT

But in a good way.

AFTER A WHILE

You forget what it's like to receive a compliment. And you stop believing them.

janedoe@seductive.com

I LOVE MY CALENDAR PIGS

The Animal Welfare League of Alexandria, from which cometh my beloved Pandora and cameth my beloved Pippin, is taking entries for the 2010 Pets of Alexandria Contest: http://alexandriaanimals.org

janedoe@seductive.com

A GOOD ADVERTISEMENT?

Saw a woman in the cardiology department with a SERIOUS mustache. At least she wasn't in endo.

WHERE IS MY KNIGHT...

...in white satin armour?

Oksana Lada