"GOOD BYE OLD YEAR, YOU OAF..."

or "why didn't you pay us a bonus?"

Ogden Nash

It should be "good bye, old decade, you oaf."

INFAMY

Eight years ago today I started an adventure which began inauspiciously and ended badly. But a lot of the middle was good.

janedoe@seductive.com

FORTUNATELY

Unfortunately the plane's engines failed.
Fortunately he had a parachute.
Unfortunately the parachute failed to open.
Fortunately there was a haystack directly below.
Unfortunately there was a pitchfork in the haystack.
Fortunately he missed the pitchfork.
Unfortunately he missed the haystack.

That's how things have been the last couple of days.

KITTY COMES MARCHING HOME

Disregard previous post.

janedoe@seductive.com

MOM'S CAT IS MISSING

See http://sarasota.craigslist.org/com/1526468050.html

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for Florida Today

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TFv24IieUo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCfd8YXvyVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj40QT_evHc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ7iyRJrFg8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG9QyKxYUxw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dw7GE_BYjI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9morqKUH0Sw

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/a/9A1886F0AF830C67/0/cPkHnqvqbZU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGXg7A5hwwo&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=7

500 DAYS OF SUMMER

Figured out whom Joseph Gordon-Levitt reminds me of. The liver-eating mutant on the "X-files."And what kind of name is "Zooey?" What's it short for, "Zookeeper?" And why does she dress like something out of the '60's?

Tom reminds me of myself. Doesn't want closure, wants to get back together with Summer, whom he needlessly worships and has made it clear she doesn't want to be anyone's GF.

SOPHIE'S MORE ENVIABLE CHOICE

So as all my Christmas Day plans fell through and I had a bunch of Blockbuster coupons, I decided to be Jewish – see a movie and eat Chinese. Saw “It’s Complicated” in Chinatown. People walked out of the theatre as though they had just seen “Schindler’s List.” While I might not have agreed with Meryl Streep’s decision at the end, it was a happier ending than “Sophie’s Choice.” And nice to know we DO have a choice.

Rented “500 Days of Summer.” In the first film the people were older than me, in this one they were young enough to be my children. I asked myself if I am as annoying as some of the people in this movie and cringed at the thought that I might be. Again it’s nice to know that maybe we are capable of and entitled to more than we think. And that we DO have choices and that usually things work out.

WEEK 52

The last week of the year -- not sure whether I miscounted or what. Not a bad week -- recovering from the storm and realizing maybe there is something to this peace on earth good will towards men thing.

I had a nice if unconventional Christmas, which is good considering what I hear about other people's holidays. Maybe it's our turn to have a merry Christmas.

janedoe@seductive.com

FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN II

This video really blew me away: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUio9vCKtfw

janedoe@seductive.com

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Actually ‘tis Christmas now. Had a great Christmas Eve. Got a card from someone on whom I had given up and a $20.00 Starbucks gift card from J. Also I had an attractive client who smelled good and gave me a nice tip.

Made it to midnight mass – they sang “For Unto Us A Child is Born” and the priest preached a pretty good sermon. Lit a candle for G who asked when the church is gonna burn.

Understandably George didn’t want to go out this morning because of the threat of freezing rain. If my evening plans fall through I will be Jewish – eat Chinese and take in a movie.

janedoe@seductive.com

HALLELUJAH!

http://noolmusic.com/my_video/farting_preacher_jingle_fart_-_comedy_video.php

janedoe@seductive.com

FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUruXYDDpvE

janedoe@seductive.com

FELIZ NAVIDAD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihW56Xa3XGQ

BLESSED SOLSTICE/CHRISTMAS

Finished almost all my Christmas shopping, sent out almost ten per cent of my cards. And I realize Christmas is not a curse. Having family and friends to write to/shop for and parties to attend are a good thing, even if you have to bring a covered dish to the pot luck.

Not having family and friends are much worse.

janedoe@seductive.com

FOLLOW THIS GUY...

...and help a good cause: http://twitter.com/westwingreport

My twitter page is www.twitter.com/snipercatcher

THE DAY AFTER

Or maybe the day after the day after. Snow stopped yesterday. Main roads in DC are clear but side streets are not. Some sidewalks are clear, some are not. I think it's the same in Virginia. People are, or at least I am, feeling grouchy.

janedoe@seductive.com

ON BEING AN ASSHOLE

Embassy Suites has free HBO, so I made sure to take advantage of that. Saw part of "Taken" with Liam Neeson. In one scene Neeson is making a deal with a French pimp. The pimp says it will be 50 Euros. Plus another 50 "for being an asshole." I wish I could charge for that.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Fort Pierce Tribune.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi_E0dee1Wc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hziy5xh6tIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6g5X2hGab0&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/18/fWPLQleEB4Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M_XyEzNlIE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJOe3CXE-mA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsat4e8jgHA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZC3MsWb0OE

http://www.youtube.com/nicecatholicgirl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twnKHfG36KI&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=6

THE PIGS ARE ALL RIGHT

For a change the forecasters were right -- this weekend's snow DID set records. We got put up in a hotel, which was nice -- the closest I get to a vacation.Took the train home to feed/medicate the pigs, who were much less phased by not being fed/hydrated than I thought they would be.

WEEK 51

Feeling kind of disoriented. Catching up and still behind, but happy to realize that forgiveness IS possible. And as usual wondering how something like Christmas, which should be about love, friendship and brotherhood, can generate so much ill will.
And realizing my life is fixable.

janedoe@seductive.com

ARMAGEDDON IT

The National Weather Service is predicting meteorological Armageddon. And I have no idea who's relieving me and when.

janedoe@seductive.com

THAT SMELL

I am not trying to be funny, but three people in my neighbourhood Listerve have complained about a foul garbage/sewage smell on Connecticut Avenue, going from L St to Rodman St. I called WASA, they are not aware of any sewage line breaks or anything similar.

"DO NOT STEAL ME AWAY...

...or I will scream." Label on a pen in the WPST control room.

"YOU MUST BE THIS TALL...

...to ride in this anchor chair."Label on a step-stool at Westwood one, most likely attributable to Jim Bohannon.

janedoe@seductive.com

ORAL ROBERTS DEAD

Oral Roberts died today. Not sure how he felt about Catholics. Or how the felt about them.

BAD ENERGY DAY

Lots of bad energy generated by clients in the studio. So I passed around oil to all present.

janedoe@seductive.com

GAUDETE SUNDAY

Today is Gaudete (meaning "rejoice!") Sunday. We celebrate with pink candles and vestments. The nun who taught us religion sophomore year in high school said it means "hang in there."

GLAD LUCIA!

Today is the feast of St Lucia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2-Q_ObdE-4&feature=related

As one Swedish blogger sez "Remember – the lady brings light with her. Soon the days will start getting longer again!"

http://www.transparent.com/swedish/sankta-lucia

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Mobile Press Register.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2umfdV-Bu28

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCfd8YXvyVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IYlIn1wRPA

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/19/SK74HFTK3AA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrd9p47MPHg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZUgr1zh878

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL_KCcSn6Rg&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8LmMtScH3g

http://www.youtube.com/prayersfordummies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNKyKjNHFew&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=5

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

Just happened to tune into it while waiting for some news. And a good thing. I realized:

1) People are usually willing to help you.
2) No man is a failure who has friends (Mark Twain)
3) Clarence the angel DOES get his wings.

THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE

Right now I am listening to nothing but the whirring of my computer fan and the keys clicking. And that's not so bad.

WEEK 50

Tiger Woods and the White House party crashers are right up there with the Nobel prizes this week. It's colder and I am doing my best to keep myself and the pigs healthy. Oh, and I forgot to mention I am finally over the great love of my life, which is wonderful.

janedoe@seductive.com

EIGHT CRAZY DAYS...

...and eight crazy nights. Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and also Shabbos. When you work the hours I do you are okay with any holiday that celebrates light -- Christmas, Chanukah, Jul, Solstice, Divali, Lucia Day...

janedoe@seductive.com

THREE BIG EVENTS

One in DC, one in Baltimore, the other in Falls Church. Couldn't go to any of them, but not too bummed out.

LAMBDA CLOSING

Lambda Rising is closing. They were nice enough to let me place business cards there. And it was a great place to take my dates.

janedoe@seductive.com

TWO OBSERVATIONS

1) The Immaculate Conception of Our Lady

2) The death of John Lennon.I remember where I was and what I was doing the night of the second. Don't remember the night of the first -- must have been a past life.

AIN'T NO SUNSHINE

is a good song for today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo

janedoe@seductive.com

STILL CATHOLIC AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Today is St. Nicholas Day. And the anniversary of my first communion.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Lakeland Ledger: http://www.theledger.com/

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SysPacymOIw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_ZxDcVdDUc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RISxUjlMn5k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZF_XheUTCs

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/20/eMmSwr2iZAA

http://noolmusic.com/my_video/farting_preacher_jingle_fart_-_comedy_video.php

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/f/33/3sQPm8DlCP0

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/f/32/vgzSNu1dSK4

http://janedoesvlog.blogspot.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo14nBX-8vM&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=4

THE FIRST SNOW

We had the first snow of the season today, another sign that it's time to stay home.

janedoe@seductive.com

WEEK 49

Not too bad. The biggest stories are about Tiger Woods and the Salahis.If nothing else this gives me reason to be more careful which parties I crash.

janedoe@seductive.com

I HAD THE GREATEST DREAM

I dreamt I was buying something out of a vending machine and put in the exact amount of change. The machine gave me some coins, then one bill after another. The denomimations got bigger and bigger. I had so many I had to find a box to carry everything. We were living in the old house in Falls Church.

Mom says I should tell Dr. S about this.

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS

Get your pet's picture taken with Santa: http://alexandriaanimals.org/~awla/special_events.cfm

A RAINY NIGHT IN GA

Okay, make that DC. Went to Tryst, could not get an Internet connection, took it as a sign that G-d does not want us to be online 24-7.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE HOLIDAYS

So now we are in that period known as "the holidays." For me it begins Thanksgiving Day and ends Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras or Chinese New Year. Whichever comes last.

ST. ANDREW'S DAY

Today is the feast of St. Andrew: http://www.twoheartsdesign.com/prayers/standrew2.html

janedoe@seductive.com

CYBER MONDAY

Today is Cyber Monday. Wonder if I skewed the numbers by doing most of my online shopping on the weekend?

janedoe@seductive.com

'TIS THE SUNDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING

"Of all the Sunday nights in the year -- in the Hamptons particularly -- the Sunday night that marks the end of the long Thanksgiving weekend is conceivably the loneliest."

John Irving

PUTTING IT INTO PERSPECTIVE

First Mom tells me about the muder-suicide in Falls Church (see yesterday) Then I get to work and feel a strong compulsion to act out violently against three asshole co-workers, the worst offender being the one who threw out my dinner before I got a chance to eat it.

Shortly after that I find out the 14-year-old daughter of a high school classmate was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. To make it worse she has developed temporary diabetes from the steroid treatment and has had a huge amount of necrotic tissue removed from her nasal cavity.

Kind of puts it all into perspective.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Colorado Springs Independent.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#p/a/u/1/-JDx8JGKUBA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPaGQEskSKM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulzDKHhZe5U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8uITiZ60kQ

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/20/W221l0_kmfo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z27FKwupds

http://www.hulu.com/watch/39122/barney-miller-experience

http://tinyurl.com/yduo7po

http://www.youtube.com/my_playlists?pi=0&ps=20&sf=&sa=0&dm=0&p=9A1886F0AF830C67

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2fgTknS-XE&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=3

A BOLT FROM THE BLUE

Just found out about a murder-suicide in my hometown. I was about seven when it happened, but just learned about it about an hour ago.

Before that there was a fatal accident on Idylwood Road. I thought about it last time I drove there.

AIRHEADS REVISITED

Have been watching "Brideshead Revisited." It's one of those long shifts. Amazing how money, booze and religion can fuck people up. And people say MY religion fucked ME up.

WEEK 48

A pretty good week, weatherwise, healthwise and financially. And a lovely thanksgiving -- good to see my friends happy and healthy.

janedoe@seductive.com

LET THE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SEASON BEGIN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPaGQEskSKM

janedoe@seductive.com

BLACK FRIDAY

Did required shopping online. Saved anywhere from 15 to 20 dollars. I rock.

janedoe@seductive.com

THANKSGIVING

Happy Turkey Day! I am thankful that Mom, the cat, the pigs and I are still alive. And reasonably healthy.

GIVING PREMATURE THANKS

Surfing the web for Black Friday deals. There are four things I urgently want/need, and no really good deals on any of them. Yet.

janedoe@seductive.com

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Colorado Springs Gazette.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#p/a/u/1/Px9IOPto7pw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF1rKZNCBhg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-6LlPukbp0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRVm_TAE24A&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/20/W221l0_kmfo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSvIRjEDpoc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUX6S7h03PI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/my_playlists?pi=0&ps=20&sf=&sa=0&dm=0&p=8BA5C8D4B6292ED9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2JEz0VqHac

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZfPDH88374&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=2

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Toledo Blade.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvoKaVV1Cws

http://s578.photobucket.com/albums/ss223/pikatot/?action=view&current=Tater20Tot.flv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcEl55TWXMY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj4aPzdCHgo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/22/Jss-ujnFLVU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2X2k2V0twM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81NeQJWGYJY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UnB-9tIZAo

http://janedoesvlog.blogspot.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMLkaIlbBtU&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=1

MATTERS OF THE HEART IV

Saw the cardiologist yesterday, came back with better news than I'd feared. Or hoped for?

WEEK 46

Busy week with bad weather and possibly bad news to end it. I guess the biggest thing was the execution of John Muhammad.

janedoe@seductive.com

A CITIZEN WITH THE SAINTS

Today is the feast of St. Frances Cabrini: http://catholicexchange.com/2009/11/13/96894

She was older than me when she came to America and even older when she became a citizen.

janedoe@seductive.com

CLOUDS (OR WATER) ACROSS THE MOON

Scientists say water on the moon:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/13/AR2009111301986.html

janedoe@seductive.com

COLD NOVEMBER RAIN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bwu7ixmQk0c

And Friday the 13th to boot.

janedoe@seductive.com

MAGIC BEANS

"...And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AloVORW3TYI

Lisa Kudrow

"I've got magic beans...I'm fine."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t87sppOYf-8

Jennifer Aniston

STEEL CLAW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tis2dUZeI-g&feature=related

It's just a television wonderland
It's one more fairytale about a rich bitch
Lying by the swimming pool
Life is so cool
Easy living when you make the rules
Last Friday was the first time
It only took about a half a minute
On the stairway It was child's play
The odds turn out even when you give up believing in the
Cold law, steel claw
Try to get on board you find the lock is on the door
Well I say no way
Don't try to keep me out or there'll be hell to pay
I don't know who's right or who's wrong
It really doesn't matter when you're lying in the gutter
It's a see saw
A long battle with the cold law
Is what you get for messing with the steel claw
The politicians have forgotten this place
Except for a flying visit in a black Mercedes
On election timeThey cross the line
And everybody runs to watch the pantomime
If they could see what's going on around here
So many people hanging onto the edge
Crying out for revolution
Retribution
The odds turn out even
When you give up believing in the
Cold law, steel claw
Try to get on board you find the lock is on the door
Well I say no way
Don't try to keep me out or there'll be hell to pay
I don't know who's right or who's wrong
It really doesn't matter when you're lying in the gutter
It's a see saw
A long battle with the cold law
Is what you get for messing with the steel claw
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy
Sometimes I do a line, makes me laugh
Makes me wanna take a joyride
On the high tide
Sometimes I'm contemplating suicide
Meanwhile Eddy is on the west coast
I know he's making out with some sweet senorita
Up in Frisco
You and I know
The odds turn out even
When you give up believing in the
Cold law, steel claw
Try to get on board you find the lock is on the door
Well I say no way
Don't try to keep me out or there'll be hell to pay
I don't know who's right or who's wrong
It really doesn't matter when you're lying in the gutter
It's a see saw
A long battle with the cold law
Is what you get for messing with the steel claw

Paul Brady

janedoe@seductive.com

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Spokane Spokesman-Review.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#p/a/u/1/Nckf3Q-c_7A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DdHapH6E2Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMxGvl_PNGo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq-VVKIE6pw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgsdEw54rNo&feature=PlayList&p=23D1240ABA2D9530&index=0&playnext=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdno8N0liPI

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/24/77EJ2zsPZRw

http://www.youtube.com/user/taylorswift?blend=2&ob=4

http://www.youtube.com/prayersfordummies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhAHPY0nXNY&feature=PlayList&p=CEC878B8E5D3098B&index=0

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Des Moines Catholic Mirror.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#p/u/3/hzowVUd4ue0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2X2k2V0twM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK2u4y7J58I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAV3bOJaQuY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a26wikMQdik

http://s90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/flydiscovery/?action=view&current=102_3203.flv

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/25/KQg4wsWaLOw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bap-oZI-Grc

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/a/u/0/lyR-L6EZETU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClPv5wjAR4A

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Here is one pig: http://www.guinealynx.info/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1646106&highlight=hellllpp#1646106

Here are 13: http://www.guinealynx.info/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1645674&highlight=pups#1645674

WEEK 44

Despite two unhappy anniversaries, a better week meteorologically and financially. Too bad I missed J’s wedding.

janedoe@seductive.com

CHICKEN SEES DEAD PEOPLE

Chicken is an ancient cockatoo who lives in my vet's office. Sometimes she has what the office manager calls "Chicken fits" in which she goes nuts for no apparent reason.

The OM says Chicken sees dead people.

Also, she gets that lovely cockatoo dust all over the place. The OM calls that "Chicken Dust."

janedoe@seductive.com

I HEAR DEAD PEOPLE

Maybe it's just the dry leaves rustling, maybe it's all the ghost stories I've been hearing...

janedoe@seductive.com

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE II

Wow, the word "dead" turns up at least 147 times in this blog. My father died five years ago today.

SIX YEARS AGO TODAY...

...I was robbed and threatened with murder. I really ought to forget it.

janedoe@seductive.com

NO, I WILL NOT LET YOU PLAY WITH YOURSELF.

Even if you pay double.

"NO REST...

...for the weary."

janedoe@seductive.com

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Columbia Star.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#p/a/u/2/Yx0Pv2lnOjQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnLCK3knuY8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yarYjuN-m8I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x9VKuKL_1Y

http://s90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/flydiscovery/?action=view&current=102_3202.flv

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/23/6sP0yDQ4hGM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnPJr2AlQ4s&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPoZWFNB8Jo

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/a/u/1/pw6DIa2gFaY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLw-MGmsn80&feature=related

TOUR DUPONT

No, not what you think.DuPont Circle Ghost Tour Tonight: http://ghosttoursdc.com

WEEK 43

Slow week financially, but not activity-wise. And I am too tired to do as much as I'd like, but I'm sure you're tire of hearing that.

Hoping energy level and income will pick up in the coming week.

janedoe@seductive.com

BLUE COLLAR MAN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhmdufirH54

Give me a job, give me security
Give me a chance to survive
I'm just a poor soul in the unemployment line
My god, I'm hardly alive
My mother and father, my wife and my friends
I see them laugh in my face
But I've got the power, and I've got the will
I'm not a charity case
I'll take those long nights, impossible odds
Keeping my eye to the keyhole
If it takes all that to be just what I am
I'm gonna be a blue collar man
Make me an offer that I can't refuse
Make me respectable, man
This is my last time in the unemployment line
So like it or not i'll take those
Long nights, impossible odds
Keeping my back to the wall
If it takes all that to be just what I am
I'm gonna be a blue collar man
Keeping my mind on a better life
When happiness is only a heartbeat away
Paradise, can it be all I heard it was
I close my eyes and maybe I'm already there

Tommy Shaw
This song was released more than 30 years ago, but it holds even truer. Ouch.

janedoe@seductive.com

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE

DuPont Circle Ghost Tour Tonight: http://ghosttoursdc.com

janedoe@seductive.com

PRINCESS OF TIDES

The weather is gorgeous, but I am too tired and too busy to do everything I want. Again, as the Portuguese say, too man tides, not enough sailors.

BENNY HINN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiBBB-Wna2Q

Benny Hinn was on Nightline the other night. No, he wasn't farting, but I like this video. And take it as a warning not to get too carried away myself.

janedoe@seductive.com

HUMAN GUINEA PIGS

People don't realize I have pigs when they use that phrase with me.

And now I have become one (voluntarily)

PRIESTS ON TRIAL

Wire reports say the Catholic Diocese of Wilmington files for bankruptcy just before Catholic sex abuse trials.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/19/AR2009101903119.html

This is too painful. P sez too bad there's no bailout for them.

THE ECONOMY MUST BE IMPROVING

Got three phone calls today. Two from perverts who just wanted sex and a third from a guy who wouldn't pay the market rate. Guess it's better than no calls.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Springfield Republican.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#p/a/u/1/iSiZ9f6h7-w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlkxQMxJmEU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a26wikMQdik&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVEGfH4s5g

http://s618.photobucket.com/albums/tt264/CM_TurDuCken/Cavies/?action=view&current=100_2464.flv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5jfCb6-2RA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92HjH1GG3ro

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#p/u/24/trsLA4Y5HAc

http://www.youtube.com/user/Nicecatholicgirl#p/u/2/L2vRbY-UPFc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mps5-UaVmEY&feature=related

WEATHER PERMITTING:

DuPont Circle Ghost Tour at eight tonight: http://ghosttoursdc.com

WEEK 42

Unfortunately, it’s been a slow week, partly due to the holiday, partly to the weather. I have seen the incredible kindness of some peeps, the incredible assholishness of others.

Maybe slow is good. Still, it's kind of like getting a vehicle out of sand or snow -- you want to, but there's no traction and it takes a lot of wheel-spinning to get it out.

janedoe@seductive.com

GHOST TOUR!

DuPont Circle Ghost Tour at eight tonight: http://ghosttoursdc.com

janedoe@seductive.com

"GYPSIES TRAMPS AND THIEVES...

...we'd hear it from the people of the town."

Bob Stone

It's amazing how many people refer to me as a "gypsy." Not that that's anything bad, but it just amazes me at how ignorant people are.

janedoe@seductive.com

"I SMELL THE RAIN...

and with it pain."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUlmZ2PdxiE

Jimmy Page/Robert Plant

DARKNESS AT NOON

Or 1:00 PM. It's in the 40's and raining. But at least the Dow is up over 10,000.

janedoe@seductive.com

SOLSBURY HILL

http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=601b49dd0fe03c53b585

Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing,
time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
I had to listen
had no choice
I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart was going boom, boom, boom
Son, he said, grab your things,
I've come to take you home.
To keeping silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Tho my life was in a rut
till I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart was going boom boom boom
Hey, he said, grab your things,
I've come to take you home.
Yeah back home
When illusion spin her net
I'm never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes, but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don't need a replacement
Ill tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart was going boom boom boom
Hey, I said, you can keep my things,
they've come to take me home.

Peter Gabriel

It's like a magic song. I think I heard one version in which he sings "which direction I should take, which connection I should break."

THROUGH THE TUNNEL

I have been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome, although asymptomatic. Ironically, it's in my card-flipping hand.

Maybe it's divine retribution for saying mean things about K's carpal tunnel.

COLUMBUS DAY II

Today is Columbus Day. Columbus had no way of knowing there would be pigs in the new world.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here to see the Greenville Daily Reflector.

I GAVE R SOME FENNEL TEA...

...to cure his farting. I never asked if it worked, or if it made his farts smell like licorice.

WHO YOU GONNA CALL II

Ghost Tourguides!

Dupont Circle Ghost Tour at eight tonight. http://bit.ly/2D9cQc

WEEK 41

Weather was nice, if a little cooler, and my mood is no worse, other than my hands and feet feeling cold and painful a lot of the time.

Unfortunately, I’ve been privy (witness?) to the behaviour of some of our nation’s best and brightest, or at least richest and most privileged. It’s comforting to know that by the time they’re my age a lot of them will have the shit kicked out of them, too.

janedoe@seductive.com

SNAKES ON A VEIN

The phlebotomist told me I had great veins. She compared them to snakes. Or maybe that was her husband's veins. When I was about three someone told my mom I had great veins. Which I guess is a good thing. I imagine it's hard enough to take blood from a terrified, kicking screaming child with good veins, bad ones would only make it worse.

janedoe@seductive.com

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

Ghost Tours.DuPont Circle Ghost Tour at Eight Tonight -- http://bit.ly/2D9cQc

janedoe@seductive.com

RIP

Ben Ali from Ben's Chili Bowl. I've eaten there.

ANGRY LESBIANS II

After living in Adams Morgan for more than three years I went to Madame's Organ. They played some good bluegrass music, but I still missed "Ten Thousand Angry Lesbians."

janedoe@seductive.com

GOOD BYE

Good bye to Steve Allan and Charlie Maxx from www.theedge1059.com

As far as I know I still have a job.

THE SWEETEST THING III

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfv3lJs5qE

"Blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl"

U2

They say U2 kicked ass the other night. I wouldn't know. Except for maybe one or two, the most significant men in my life had blue eyes. In most cases it didn't end well.

janedoe@seductive.com

BROTHER SUN AND SISTER MOON

Today is the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi: http://www.webster.edu/~barrettb/canticle.htm

Took the pigs to get them blessed in Cleveland Park. Pandora got excited, Perpetua tried to hide under Pandora.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Daytona Beach News Journal.

WEEK 40

I think I am sleeping better. At least longer.

janedoe@seductive.com

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY

It was one year ago today "Baby" Perpetua came to live with us.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE BADDEST BITCH

A guy on "M" Street called me "the baddest bitch in the whole industry."

DAMN!

Met a drag queen whose make up looked better than mine.

>Sigh<

janedoe@seductive.com

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY

Started out crappy but ended pretty well. Some days are like that.

A FUCKING WITCH

Bossman called me a "fuckin' witch." I actually take it as a compliment, although I am not a witch and was not fucking at the time.

janedoe@seductive.com

"EVERY BEAUTY...

...needs to go out with an idiot."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmJgdXkAqMU

U2

Does anyone else find this insulting to women? I love the song but find the video annoying -- the characters look like X-Files aliens with their oversized eyes. Also, the line "every beauty needs to go out with an idiot." If that 's true, judging by the idiots I've dated, I would say I was the most gorgeous woman in the world.

Beautiful women are not automatically intelligent. It would be a better comparison if they had written "every beauty needs to go out with an uggo," "every smart woman needs to go out with a moron" or "every nice woman needs to go out with an asshole."

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Arkansas Catholic.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#play/all/uploads-all/2/vaINtyIV3sg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMxGvl_PNGo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4aHRnrqhPY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBNqUdqm1E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmJgdXkAqMU

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#play/uploads/26/DlUqybC0Lg0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSuR2IgnimA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Byxc65iIEL0

http://www.youtube.com/nicecatholicgirl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryGgfE7hq30&feature=related

THINGS COULD BE WORSE

I could live near a blimp-docking station.

WEEK 39

Weather's been pretty good (seems to be an observation in most Friday posts) and other than a minor scare with the city government things have not been too bad. That and looking at the beautiful people of Georgetown and wishing I were one. And wondering if I couldn't be one now if I had done things differently.

janedoe@seductive.com

MAYBE...

...things aren't nearly as bad as they seem.

janedoe@seductive.com

BATHROOM TOKENS FROM HEAVEN

Whenever I hear that song Pennies From Heaven I think of the movie with Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters, set during the '30's when things were even worse than they are now. And, corny as it sounds, whenever I find a penny on the sidewalk I think of G-d watching over us, reminding us that He's there.

This morning on my way home I saw something shiny on the ground, but it wasn't a penny -- it was a bathroom token. Not a bad way to start the day.

TEMPUS FUGIT II

My late grandmother would have been 102 years old today. It's been more than five years since she died. Tempus Fugit.

Today is also the feast of St. Linus , known far and wide for his holy blanket. He was martyred at the hands of his sister, St. Lucy of Van Pelt (Thanks to Tim Boyer and Jim Walsh for these contributions.

janedoe@seductive.com

STRANGE DAYS, INDEED II

My Day:

1) First client arrives, not wearing underwear, doesn't tip.
2) Second client tells me he "feels like a million dollars" and tips about 30%.
3) Before the massage is over third client says "this is absolutely awful" and insists on stopping the massage. Naturally the bitch doesn't tip. I don't care if she hears me calling her "bitch" as she flounces out the door.
4) Fourth client cannot say enough nice things about me and my massage, to the point of making porno-movie noises throughout the session. He tips slightly more than ten per cent.

AUTUMNAL EQUINOX

A joyous autumnal equinox to all!

PERMANENT SOLUTION

Got my hair permed a la Robert Plant.

janedoe@seductive.com

HANGIN' WITH MR....

So I'm on Dupont Circle hustling clients and I give a guy my card. Then a little while later I run into him at Kramer's, thinking he wants a session. And I realize he's just bored and wants to "hang" with me. In the past when guys said that they wanted sex, and it's been a while since anyone proposed that.

Still, it was kind of nice.

BALTIMORE/DC PIGNIC!

Annual MGPR Fall Pignic Sunday, September 27, 2009

Our PIGSTRAVAGANZA "Pignic" will held on Sunday, September 27. See http://www.pigloo.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3856

janedoe@cutemail.com

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Charleston Post and Courier.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#play/all/uploads-all/0/3sRPXn8OTEQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RISxUjlMn5k&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeFdYp5rU-0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ--LUfitJs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncxt0oCPXFE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VsYyHAbIwc

http://www.youtube.com/user/taylorswift?blend=1&ob=4

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#play/uploads/28/qbaUQLp8qV8

http://www.youtube.com/prayersfordummies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx8p14pBJ9E&feature=related

ST. JANUARIUS

Today is the feast of St. Januarius, patron of blood
banks:

http://catholicexchange.com/2009/09/19/79484/

IF YOU'RE JEWISH

Why are you reading this?

FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND II

Going to one at the press club this afternoon.

WEEK 38

The weather started out nasty and grey but ended up better. Cops are trying to bust me. Baby Pandora seems to be getting over her UTI and there may be help for me, too. I don’t have a UTI.

janedoe@seductive.com

NEW YEAR

Happy New Year 5770!

janedoe@seductive.com

I SAW A DUCK THE OTHER DAY

And thought of you.

janedoe@seductive.com

THE BOY WHO WENT TO THE NORTH WIND

I read this in elementary
school:
http://rickwalton.com/folktale/junior36.htm

and

http://www.feri.com/dawn/theboy.htmlI wish I had the nerve to ask the North Wind for my meal back.

ZZZZZZ

Trying to stay awake after busting my ass the last several days.

janedoe@seductive.com

IN THIS ECONOMY...

...you can't give stuff away. Unless you sell it very cheaply. Then people will want it free, or at a deeper discount.

TWO DEATHS

Jody Powell and Patrick Swayze in one day. Jody Powell was younger than me when he was Jimmy Carter's Press Secretary. Didn't realize how much older Patrick Swayze was.

janedoe@seductive.com

ADAMS MORGAN DAY

Today is Adams Morgan Day: http://www.adamsmorgandayfestival.com/

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Syracuse Post-Standard.

JANE DOE'S VIDEO PARTY!

http://www.youtube.com/vatican#play/all/uploads-all/2/mB3edNE-3Dc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0P0aS4CBBY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIhv26Lh460

http://www.youtube.com/user/donjojohannes#play/uploads/29/6UY5sZPU32s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV0lACQdbxM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXWkIZUPmDY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hitMpM-P-Bs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiXBck3PPpU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyR-L6EZETU&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igjbXZCebxM&feature=related