TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR...LXII

I found two dollars on the sidewalk.

janedoe@seductive.com

WEEK 71

My last day at the shore. This time I ended up with only a minor rash. My doctor sez maybe I'm allergic to vacations. When you pay $2.00 per 15 minutes of Internet use you have to economize. This week instead of giving massages I got one. And a facial, too. And I have not gained any weight. I got more sleep than I have in weeks, but I still don’t feel totally relaxed. But then again, you can’t undo what took more than six years to accomplish in fewer than six days.

Driving up I-95 brought back a lot of memories -- of Immaculata, of Princeton, of Wilmington. Really the only regret I should have is not having enjoyed it for what it was worth more than I did.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR LXI

I am thankful for chocolate aromatherapy massages.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR LX

I am thankful for facials.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR...LIX

I am thankful for chocolate funnel cakes.

POKER #1

Poker is #1 of the latest Lycos 50.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR...LVIII

I am thankful for nice weather. And nice people. You can see this isn't very deep, but I'm on vacation.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR...LVII

I am thankful for friends.

DOWN THE SHORE

Or actually up the shore. Until Friday.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Nashville Tennessean.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR...LVI

As shallow and materialistic as it sounds, I am grateful for malls. And for roads that will get me there. And a car that will take me on them. And enough money to buy tacos and ice cream when I get there. And for friends who are there when I get there.

WEEK 70

I wouldn’t say, stop the world, I wanna get off, but I would say slow it down. Or maybe, thanks, G-d, but no need to overdo it. I am getting more work than I have in the last couple years. And I am even enjoying a lot of it. So why do I feel angry, sad and scared? Maybe because even on my days off I’m still running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Or because of some stupid scary stuff at work.

I will be happy to start my vacation.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR...LV

I am grateful for enough to drink: water, tea, coffee, tea, soda, wine. Especially since in some countries people don't even have safe water. A dilemma, if that's what it is: People are being encouraged to drink more water because it's healthy. Never mind most tap water in America is ok to drink even thought it doesn't taste all that good.

Fiji water is a popular brand. The problem: many people on the island of Fiji lack safe drinking water and other hygiene. And the production/disposal of bottles is not good for the environment. One Catholic Exchange reader suggests drinking tap water and giving the money you saved to water projects in third-world countries. I know Maryknoll does such things.

But on the other hand, how many Fijians have jobs and a better way of life thanks to bottled Fiji water?

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR...LIV

A surprise tip from a client.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...LIII

It looks as though I will keep at least three of my four regular shifts, if not all.

janedoe@seductive.com

POKER #1

Poker is #1 of the latest Lycos 50.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...LII

Made a lot of money. And had a nice evening with Dianne.

CALENDAR PIGS (AND OTHER PETS)

The Animal Welfare League of Alexandria, from whence cometh my beloved Pippin and Baby Pandora is taking entries for its 2008 Pets of Alexandria Calendar.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE DOESN'T SUCK TOO MUCH LI

Made a lot of money.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...L

Both my shifts went smoothly.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Pierre Capital-Journal.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLIX

Got my hair permed. And I am 1/800th of the way to owning that beach condo.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLVIII

Made a fair amount of money and got a birthday cake at work.

janedoe@seductive.com

WEEK 69

I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?

Zero Mostel/Nathan Lane

No, I did not try to do things wrong, it's just things are going right but not as expected. I spent almost a year in massage school and over ten thousand dollars yet I have not given a massage in weeks. And I am still earning more than I have in years, maybe more than in all my life.

Mom, of course is upset, but to me it doesn't matter where the money is coming from as long as I am earning it legally and morally. So if I earn $40-50 plus tips per hour doing massages but it's only one or two hours a day and I have to expend a lot of energy, what sense does that make? Especially since tips are not guaranteed.

On the other hand, If I earn the same amount of money in commissions doing public relations yet expend less energy and I work four to six hours, it's a more profitable work day with less energy expended.

I know some people actually believe in what they're doing, but I do both massages and public relations for the money, not because I am Florence Nightingale or Jerry Maguire. The good thing about doing what you're not passionate about for a living is your feelings don't get hurt if people criticize you. In radio or TV if people tell me I'm ugly, my voice or production skills are bad or I can't write, that hurts. However, if people refer to my massages as "average," "mediocre," "lousy" or "uninspired," I say "thank you, I'm sorry to have disappointed you," collect my money and go on to the next client.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLVII

Had a nice time at the movies and a nice time after that.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLVI

Free DVD, free T-shirt, more free movie tickets.

janedoe@seductive.com

BEYONCE #1

Beyonce is #1 of the latest Lycos 50.

TUESDAY'S CHILD

Today's my birthday. I am one year older, and somewhat wiser, if not richer. I was born on a Tuesday -- wonder if that has any astrological, numerological or kabbalistic significance. Holiday Mathis says "you're not interested in doing what you know you can do. Your quest is to do what you're not sure you can do. Backward things happen. You'll earn fantastic money while looking for the perfect way to earn money. And people you meet play brilliant roles in your life, just not the roles you thought they'd fit into. Gemini and Aries people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 20, 11, 33 and 28." Personally, I think the two things I need to concentrate most on now are my weight and my finances.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLV

I got a free cake. And free movie tickets.

MEAN GIRLS

Rented Mean Girls. What I got from it -- We have all been mean and we have all been victimized by mean people. And mean people drive even nice people to do mean things. And I am still carrying scars from high school and still feed a need to impress my high school classmates. Now, instead of getting good grades, winning awards and being put in highly visible positions, I feel the need to get more air time. And earn more money. Even though most of said classmates live in Ashburn.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLIV

I was able to say "no." And Mom is proud of me.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLIII

My mom doesn't need to live in an old folk's home.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Columbia State.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLII

I have Internet accesss. And I got an extra shift.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XLI

There were cute guys at the hospital.

janedoe@seductive.com

WEEK 68

Didn't earn as much money this week, but didn't do so badly, either. I guess it’s unrealistic to expect to undo six years of financial misfortune/mismanagement in six months.

Also, I have completed 68% of my hospital requirement. Just as when G-d closes one door, He opens a window, G sez when one door opens, the others usually do, too. I had to push a really heavy woman. Or maybe it was just her wheelchair that was heavy. I thought of Dee Dee and Jamie having to lift patients all the time.

And I am 1/1000th of the way to buying the beach condo.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XL

I am thankful that it's easier to breathe.

1) Because the temperature dropped below 100 degrees.
2) Because this is the first day off I've had in over three weeks.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XXXIX

I am grateful for elevators. Especially since I work on the 14th floor.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XXXVIII

I am grateful for ice. And water. And air conditioning. And everything that makes the 90-degree heat more bearable.

BEYONCE #1

Beyonce is #1 of the latest Lycos 50.

LEATHER ANNIVERSARY

My long-suffering supervisor and his wife are celebrating their third anniversary -- the leather one. I think #9 or 10 is wood. There is no rubber or oil anniversary. Or beeswax. At least I don't think so.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE...XXXVII

The guy at Ben and Jerry's was very generous.

janedoe@seductive.com

ONE YEAR

Hard to believe I've been selling Mary Kay for a year. Renewed my web site today.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE DOESN'T SUCK TOO MUCH XXXVI

I didn't get married just to have a meal ticket.

SUNDAY PAPER

Click here for the Providence Journal.

LIFE'S LITTLE SURPRISES

So the other day I got my mail and there was something in a plain white wrapper titled "real joy" or "true fulfillment" or something like that. Now this guy I know sends me sex toys/dirty books every birthday/Hanukkah. His gifts also come generically-wrapped. So I was expecting that, since my birthday's coming up. Instead, it was the rosary I had ordered several months ago and forgotten.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE DOESN'T SUCK TOO MUCH XXXV

I am thankful for having enough to eat, more in fact. There is nothing like gorging yourself after hardly eaten all day. Honestly.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE DOESN'T SUCK TOO MUCH XXXIV

The guy at Blockbuster gave me the better of two deals.

janedoe@seductive.com

WEEK 67

Three weeks of not doing massages. Three weeks of doing Foulsocks's shift have come to an end, and honestly, I will miss it. Even though my weight has ballooned out and the pigs are missing out on quality time. I think the weird eating/sleeping schedules have been harder on them than they have on me. I probably have said this before, but I can finally relate to stories of rich/famous people giving it all up to spend more time with family and friends. Except I am not rich or famous.

janedoe@seductive.com

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE DOESN'T SUCK TOO MUCH XXXIII

We now have enough Band-aids and White Out at work. Bossman reimbursed me for the Band-aids. The change will go into the beach condo fund.

TRYING NOT TO BE TOO UNHAPPY ABOUT IT, OR MY LIFE DOESN'T SUCK TOO MUCH XXXII

Got paid an hour early today. Didn't take as bad a hit as expected.

janedoe@seductive.com