SUNDAY PAPER
Click here for the London Times.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
CORRESPONDENT'S DINNER
Wow. This was my tenth correspondent's dinner. I was feeling sick as a dog, so I made as quick an exit as possible. Rita says she saw me doing the red carpet walk. Not sure whether she was there or whether it was on TV.
Wow. This was my tenth correspondent's dinner. I was feeling sick as a dog, so I made as quick an exit as possible. Rita says she saw me doing the red carpet walk. Not sure whether she was there or whether it was on TV.
Friday, April 28, 2006
WEEK ONE
Well, I have survived the first week of massage school. I have not killed anyone and I have not been thrown out.
janedoe@seductive.com
Well, I have survived the first week of massage school. I have not killed anyone and I have not been thrown out.
janedoe@seductive.com
Thursday, April 27, 2006
TWO COLLEAGUES DEAD
Randy Hennig tells me Kurt Henschen, formerly of Westwood One and Substandard news is dead of ALS. Tom Bell, formerly of WASH, also died of leukemia this week. He was 57. It was Tom who taught me the phrase "quarter of a turn."
Randy Hennig tells me Kurt Henschen, formerly of Westwood One and Substandard news is dead of ALS. Tom Bell, formerly of WASH, also died of leukemia this week. He was 57. It was Tom who taught me the phrase "quarter of a turn."
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
WORMWOOD
"And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters; And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter."
Revelation 8:10-11
Today marks the 20th anniversary of the Chernobyl meltdown. Ten years ago when I looked through my old diary I wondered why I hadn't noted the world's worst nuclear disaster. Then I realized it's because no one noticed it until after May Day because the Russians wanted to have their May Day parade. Mom thinks it's because of Chernobyl that I have an adrenal gland tumour.
I wore my green fairy shirt to school today. Supposed the word "Chernobyl" means "wormood" in Russian or Ukranian. You're also supposed to see a green fairy when you drink wormwood/absinthe. I never did.
janedoe@seductive.com
"And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters; And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter."
Revelation 8:10-11
Today marks the 20th anniversary of the Chernobyl meltdown. Ten years ago when I looked through my old diary I wondered why I hadn't noted the world's worst nuclear disaster. Then I realized it's because no one noticed it until after May Day because the Russians wanted to have their May Day parade. Mom thinks it's because of Chernobyl that I have an adrenal gland tumour.
I wore my green fairy shirt to school today. Supposed the word "Chernobyl" means "wormood" in Russian or Ukranian. You're also supposed to see a green fairy when you drink wormwood/absinthe. I never did.
janedoe@seductive.com
Monday, April 24, 2006
Sunday, April 23, 2006
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
MSNBC had a thing on the 100 least sexy men. Actually I find some of the men on the list rather attractive. At least neither Michael Imperioli nor Tobey Maguire made the list.
MSNBC had a thing on the 100 least sexy men. Actually I find some of the men on the list rather attractive. At least neither Michael Imperioli nor Tobey Maguire made the list.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
THEY GIVE MUSIC A BAD NAME
I spent twenty years tryin' to get outta this place
I was lookin' for somethin'
I couldn't replace
I was runnin' away from the only thing
I've ever known
Like a blind dog without a bone
I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone
I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold
I Been there, done that I ain't looking back on the seeds
I've sown , savin' dimes spendin' too much time on the telephone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go back
I Been all around the world and as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I wanna go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
I went as far as I could,
I tried to find a new face
There isn't one of these lines that
I would erase
I lived a million miles of memories on that road
With every step I take I know that I'm not alone
You take the home from the boyBut not the boy from his home
These are my streets, the only life I've ever known
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go back
Been all around the world
And as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I wanna go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
---- Instrumental Interlude ----
I been there, done that
And I ain't lookin' back
It's been a long, long road
Feels like I never left
That's how the story goes
It doesn't matter where you are
It doesn't matter where you goIf it's a million miles away
Or just ten miles up the road
Take it in, take it with you when you go
Who says you can't go homeWho says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go back
Been all around the world
And as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I wanna go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
Jon Bon Jovi/Jennifer Nettles
Apparently about their beloved Garden State. Funny, I couldn't wait to get out of Falls Church, yet I'm going to be going to school there for the next six months.
Heard this one on I-95 on the way to and from New Jersey. Heard Livin' on a Prayer on the Garden State Parkway.
Actually I don't mind Bon Jovi that much -- it's George who says they give music a bad name.
I spent twenty years tryin' to get outta this place
I was lookin' for somethin'
I couldn't replace
I was runnin' away from the only thing
I've ever known
Like a blind dog without a bone
I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone
I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold
I Been there, done that I ain't looking back on the seeds
I've sown , savin' dimes spendin' too much time on the telephone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go back
I Been all around the world and as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I wanna go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
I went as far as I could,
I tried to find a new face
There isn't one of these lines that
I would erase
I lived a million miles of memories on that road
With every step I take I know that I'm not alone
You take the home from the boyBut not the boy from his home
These are my streets, the only life I've ever known
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go back
Been all around the world
And as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I wanna go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
---- Instrumental Interlude ----
I been there, done that
And I ain't lookin' back
It's been a long, long road
Feels like I never left
That's how the story goes
It doesn't matter where you are
It doesn't matter where you goIf it's a million miles away
Or just ten miles up the road
Take it in, take it with you when you go
Who says you can't go homeWho says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rollin' stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go back
Been all around the world
And as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I wanna go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
Jon Bon Jovi/Jennifer Nettles
Apparently about their beloved Garden State. Funny, I couldn't wait to get out of Falls Church, yet I'm going to be going to school there for the next six months.
Heard this one on I-95 on the way to and from New Jersey. Heard Livin' on a Prayer on the Garden State Parkway.
Actually I don't mind Bon Jovi that much -- it's George who says they give music a bad name.
Friday, April 21, 2006
NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT
A Craigsloser e-mailed me and asked "is it possible for me to masturbate while you watch?" I responded that I'm sure it was possible in that he was physically ABLE to do it but that I wouldn't allow it. Now I wonder how much he was willing to pay me. Unlike massage it's not that physically strenuous, so I could easily do it eight hours a day.
janedoe@seductive.com
A Craigsloser e-mailed me and asked "is it possible for me to masturbate while you watch?" I responded that I'm sure it was possible in that he was physically ABLE to do it but that I wouldn't allow it. Now I wonder how much he was willing to pay me. Unlike massage it's not that physically strenuous, so I could easily do it eight hours a day.
janedoe@seductive.com
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
IT'S NOT YOUR LUNGS THIS TIME...
...it's your heart that holds your fate
Bruce Springsteen
Actually it's the other way around. Went to Kaiser Permanente. My EKG was fine but my doctor heard some abnormal lung sounds. Now I'm on Albuterol, which is like prescription crack.
Oh, and I found out my tricuspid valve is also leaking but not much.
janedoe@seductive.com
...it's your heart that holds your fate
Bruce Springsteen
Actually it's the other way around. Went to Kaiser Permanente. My EKG was fine but my doctor heard some abnormal lung sounds. Now I'm on Albuterol, which is like prescription crack.
Oh, and I found out my tricuspid valve is also leaking but not much.
janedoe@seductive.com
Monday, April 17, 2006
LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!
Today is the annual Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn. In a show of solidarity gay parents are wearing rainbow leis to make themselves more identifiable. I'm sure there have been other gay parents in attendance before, just not as visible.
Also parents involved in adulterous affairs, single parents, parents who "had to" get married, mothers who lied about their children's parentage to their husbands, parents of children who were "accidents" and parents who are involved in loveless marriages and now married in title only.
janedoe@seductive.com
Today is the annual Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn. In a show of solidarity gay parents are wearing rainbow leis to make themselves more identifiable. I'm sure there have been other gay parents in attendance before, just not as visible.
Also parents involved in adulterous affairs, single parents, parents who "had to" get married, mothers who lied about their children's parentage to their husbands, parents of children who were "accidents" and parents who are involved in loveless marriages and now married in title only.
janedoe@seductive.com
Sunday, April 16, 2006
SUNDAY PAPER
Since Jesus rose from the dead in Jerusalem, or near it, here's the link to the Jerusalem Post.
Since Jesus rose from the dead in Jerusalem, or near it, here's the link to the Jerusalem Post.
HAPPY EASTER!
My beloved Pippin is the closest thing I have to a bunny. Here is his picture: http://i1.tinypic.com/nd777k.jpg
Dallas says: "I love the hat... gives him character sorta like a John Wayne Pig."
Bohannon says: " PIPPIN WOULD BE A FINE BEGINNING FOR A CULT RELIGION... ALL HAIL PIPPIN! YOU COULD BE THE HIGH PRIESTESS.
Chris says "Pippin looks very dashing in that hat! Happy Easter!"
To see pictures of my other pigs, click here.
My beloved Pippin is the closest thing I have to a bunny. Here is his picture: http://i1.tinypic.com/nd777k.jpg
Dallas says: "I love the hat... gives him character sorta like a John Wayne Pig."
Bohannon says: " PIPPIN WOULD BE A FINE BEGINNING FOR A CULT RELIGION... ALL HAIL PIPPIN! YOU COULD BE THE HIGH PRIESTESS.
Chris says "Pippin looks very dashing in that hat! Happy Easter!"
To see pictures of my other pigs, click here.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
"I AM VILE...
I abhore myself. But I am thankful for everyone in my family"
John Irving
Went to Easter vigil. Did not stick it out. When I got out of church John Gonzales from Channel 7 was there. Fortunately I looked reasonably decent so I gave him some sound bites. He asked questions like "what was the mass like?" " What does the Easter Vigil/end of Lent mean to you?" "What did you pray for?"
I tried to say something intelligent without outrightly lying. In truth it would have been "well, John, the mass was long as hell. Way too long" and "well, I gave up booze for Lent so in less than three hours I can have my first drink since before Mardi Gras" and "I prayed for more money. I prayed for my pig. I prayed for my sex life to improve."
Mom thought it was unusual to ask people what they prayed for. I figure if they throw me out of this church I can become an Episcopalian. Or a Unitarian.
I abhore myself. But I am thankful for everyone in my family"
John Irving
Went to Easter vigil. Did not stick it out. When I got out of church John Gonzales from Channel 7 was there. Fortunately I looked reasonably decent so I gave him some sound bites. He asked questions like "what was the mass like?" " What does the Easter Vigil/end of Lent mean to you?" "What did you pray for?"
I tried to say something intelligent without outrightly lying. In truth it would have been "well, John, the mass was long as hell. Way too long" and "well, I gave up booze for Lent so in less than three hours I can have my first drink since before Mardi Gras" and "I prayed for more money. I prayed for my pig. I prayed for my sex life to improve."
Mom thought it was unusual to ask people what they prayed for. I figure if they throw me out of this church I can become an Episcopalian. Or a Unitarian.
Friday, April 14, 2006
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF
I did not give up sex for Lent. It just seems that way.
janedoe@seductive.com
I did not give up sex for Lent. It just seems that way.
janedoe@seductive.com
Thursday, April 13, 2006
EGG MOON FARTS
For those of you who worship the moon, tonight is the night of the Egg Moon. Brandilynn wants to know whether this will cause people to leave Egg Moon farts.
For those of you who worship the moon, tonight is the night of the Egg Moon. Brandilynn wants to know whether this will cause people to leave Egg Moon farts.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Monday, April 10, 2006
PUBLIC SERVANTS ANNOUNCEMENT
Federal Income taxes aren't due until April 17th, as the 15th is a Saturday and Holy Saturday at that.
I filed yesterday at the Jackson Hewitt at the intersection of Georgia Avenue and Geranium St. NW. The woman was wonderful -- it was worth going into a neighbourhood where you run a pretty high risk of getting shot. I will probably go there again next year and specifically ask for her.
janedoe@seductive.com
Federal Income taxes aren't due until April 17th, as the 15th is a Saturday and Holy Saturday at that.
I filed yesterday at the Jackson Hewitt at the intersection of Georgia Avenue and Geranium St. NW. The woman was wonderful -- it was worth going into a neighbourhood where you run a pretty high risk of getting shot. I will probably go there again next year and specifically ask for her.
janedoe@seductive.com
POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE
Well, my massage degree arrived today. As it's still Lent I can't drink. To hear Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance , click here.
janedoe@seductive.com
Well, my massage degree arrived today. As it's still Lent I can't drink. To hear Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance , click here.
janedoe@seductive.com
Sunday, April 09, 2006
A FISTFUL OF PALMS
O sacred head, surrounded
by crown of piercing thorn!
O bleeding head, so wounded,
reviled and put to scorn!
Our sins have marred the glory
of thy most holy face,
yet angel hosts adore thee
and tremble as they gaze
I see thy strength and vigor
all fading in the strife,
and death with cruel rigor,
bereaving thee of life;
O agony and dying!
O love to sinners free!
Jesus, all grace supplying,
O turn thy face on me.
In this thy bitter passion,
Good Shepherd, think of me
with thy most sweet compassion,
unworthy though I be:
beneath thy cross abiding
for ever would I rest,
in thy dear love confiding,
and with thy presence blest.
Words: Henry Williams Baker (1821-1877), 1861; after Bernard of Clairvaux (1091-1153); and Paul Gerhardt (1607-1676)
To hear the music, click here.
Today is Palm Sunday. When I was a kid mom said something about old ladies grabbing fistfuls of palms and not leaving any for anyone else. I noticed a bunch of people a walking out of church with palm crosses and other weavings. It's a long mass -- I guess you have to do something with your hands.
We learned "O Sacred Head Surrounded" in elementary school. When I was about ten years old I walked around the house singing "O agony and dying." Dad said "what a dismal song."
In German it's even worse -- "Was du fu"r uns erduldest, ist Alles meine Schuld" -- "Everything you've suffered for us is all my fault." What a guilt trip to lay on a little kid.
O sacred head, surrounded
by crown of piercing thorn!
O bleeding head, so wounded,
reviled and put to scorn!
Our sins have marred the glory
of thy most holy face,
yet angel hosts adore thee
and tremble as they gaze
I see thy strength and vigor
all fading in the strife,
and death with cruel rigor,
bereaving thee of life;
O agony and dying!
O love to sinners free!
Jesus, all grace supplying,
O turn thy face on me.
In this thy bitter passion,
Good Shepherd, think of me
with thy most sweet compassion,
unworthy though I be:
beneath thy cross abiding
for ever would I rest,
in thy dear love confiding,
and with thy presence blest.
Words: Henry Williams Baker (1821-1877), 1861; after Bernard of Clairvaux (1091-1153); and Paul Gerhardt (1607-1676)
To hear the music, click here.
Today is Palm Sunday. When I was a kid mom said something about old ladies grabbing fistfuls of palms and not leaving any for anyone else. I noticed a bunch of people a walking out of church with palm crosses and other weavings. It's a long mass -- I guess you have to do something with your hands.
We learned "O Sacred Head Surrounded" in elementary school. When I was about ten years old I walked around the house singing "O agony and dying." Dad said "what a dismal song."
In German it's even worse -- "Was du fu"r uns erduldest, ist Alles meine Schuld" -- "Everything you've suffered for us is all my fault." What a guilt trip to lay on a little kid.
Friday, April 07, 2006
ONE FRIDAY TO GO
Only one more Friday that we won't be allowed to eat meat. In a timely release, National Geographic says maybe Judas Iscariot wasn't such a bad guy after all.
Only one more Friday that we won't be allowed to eat meat. In a timely release, National Geographic says maybe Judas Iscariot wasn't such a bad guy after all.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
04-05-06
Today is April 4, 2006 or 04-05-06. I heard a psychic on WTOP say things were supposed to REALLY make sense today.
janedoe@seductive.com
Today is April 4, 2006 or 04-05-06. I heard a psychic on WTOP say things were supposed to REALLY make sense today.
janedoe@seductive.com
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
WHERE GIRLS ARE THE FAIREST
And fans aren't embarrassed. ESPN reports the Florida Gators have taken the 2006 NCAA title. As I said before, the University of Florida has proven it's good for something. It certainly wasn't a place to get an education. Or a husband.
And fans aren't embarrassed. ESPN reports the Florida Gators have taken the 2006 NCAA title. As I said before, the University of Florida has proven it's good for something. It certainly wasn't a place to get an education. Or a husband.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
FURRY LITTLE CANTALOUPES
The daughter of one of the pig people apparently didn't like the way the pigs smelled so she sprayed them with Febreze. It was the melon-scented variety. Evidently they now smell like furry little cantaloupes.
The daughter of one of the pig people apparently didn't like the way the pigs smelled so she sprayed them with Febreze. It was the melon-scented variety. Evidently they now smell like furry little cantaloupes.
MASON SADNESS
Fox News reports Mason Madness has turned to Mason Sadness. At least the University of Florida has proven it's good for something. And my loyalties won't be torn anymore. Kind of the way our Finnish friends felt when the US beat Finland in the 1980 Olympics.
Fox News reports Mason Madness has turned to Mason Sadness. At least the University of Florida has proven it's good for something. And my loyalties won't be torn anymore. Kind of the way our Finnish friends felt when the US beat Finland in the 1980 Olympics.