HILTON #1
I almost forgot, Paris Hilton was #1 of the Lycos 50 for the week ending June 26th, a day we won't soon forget.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
WE HAD A WAKE FOR GRANDMA
It didn't work, so we buried her this morning. The mass lasted 40 minutes, the sermon was seven minutes long, and completely unmemorable, but at least it won't leave any emotional scars as some sermons have. Father Roland helped say the mass and Margie and I carried the gifts -- I was glad they gave me the wine. At the end of the service they released a flock of doves. The dove guy explained the first two doves were to represent "your parents being together." Then they released a whole flock of doves. Uncle Joe wanted a feather so they gave him one that had fallen into the dove cage. I thought "oh, boy dove shit and feathers." Maybe the dove guy didn't know my biological grandfather died 39 years ago and nine years later Grandma married a man who had also been married before. So who will be reunited with whom?
Jamie drove Aunt Irene and me to the cemetery afterwards. I showed her our great-grandparents' graves and Grandma Julia's grave. Grandma Julia was my great-great grandmother and Jamie's great-great-great grandmother. We have been in America for six generations now. Grandma Julia lived with my grandparents after they got married. When my grandmother brushed her teeth over the kitchen sink, Grandma Julia would say "it's disgraceful" or something like that in Hungarian. Never mind indoor plumbing was something foreign to her anyway.
When Aunt Irene and Uncle Jim moved into their house Uncle Jim's father disapproved of the fact that the bathroom was so close to the kitchen. He said in his thick Hungarian accent "no good, eat here, shit here." Again the man probably had no exposure to indoor plumbing before he came to America. He died June 6, 1966, or 6/6/66.
My ex sez we're too ethnic to be redneck. Thank G-d for that.
It didn't work, so we buried her this morning. The mass lasted 40 minutes, the sermon was seven minutes long, and completely unmemorable, but at least it won't leave any emotional scars as some sermons have. Father Roland helped say the mass and Margie and I carried the gifts -- I was glad they gave me the wine. At the end of the service they released a flock of doves. The dove guy explained the first two doves were to represent "your parents being together." Then they released a whole flock of doves. Uncle Joe wanted a feather so they gave him one that had fallen into the dove cage. I thought "oh, boy dove shit and feathers." Maybe the dove guy didn't know my biological grandfather died 39 years ago and nine years later Grandma married a man who had also been married before. So who will be reunited with whom?
Jamie drove Aunt Irene and me to the cemetery afterwards. I showed her our great-grandparents' graves and Grandma Julia's grave. Grandma Julia was my great-great grandmother and Jamie's great-great-great grandmother. We have been in America for six generations now. Grandma Julia lived with my grandparents after they got married. When my grandmother brushed her teeth over the kitchen sink, Grandma Julia would say "it's disgraceful" or something like that in Hungarian. Never mind indoor plumbing was something foreign to her anyway.
When Aunt Irene and Uncle Jim moved into their house Uncle Jim's father disapproved of the fact that the bathroom was so close to the kitchen. He said in his thick Hungarian accent "no good, eat here, shit here." Again the man probably had no exposure to indoor plumbing before he came to America. He died June 6, 1966, or 6/6/66.
My ex sez we're too ethnic to be redneck. Thank G-d for that.
Monday, June 28, 2004
Sunday, June 27, 2004
FROM BAD TO BAD
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the side view mirror got knocked off my car today. Rob, darling that he is, fixed it ok and has offered to fix it permanently later. I am not happy about the idea of driving the Penna Turnpike in the rain with no side view mirror, but I have driven without tail lights or windshield wipers in the past.
janedoe@seductive.com
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the side view mirror got knocked off my car today. Rob, darling that he is, fixed it ok and has offered to fix it permanently later. I am not happy about the idea of driving the Penna Turnpike in the rain with no side view mirror, but I have driven without tail lights or windshield wipers in the past.
janedoe@seductive.com
Saturday, June 26, 2004
REST IN PEACE
My grandmother, Mary Verb Bartha, nee Kozma, died today at age 96. She would have been 97 on September 23rd. We were lucky to have her as long as we did.
Eternal rest grant unto her, oh Lord, and may the perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.
My grandmother, Mary Verb Bartha, nee Kozma, died today at age 96. She would have been 97 on September 23rd. We were lucky to have her as long as we did.
Eternal rest grant unto her, oh Lord, and may the perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.
ASSHOLES BUYING BEER
It seems whenever I stop at Giant or Seven Elven on my way to work I run
into assholes buying beer. Maybe it's just sour grapes because I wish
I were drinking rather than working, but I invariably end up behind some
asshole buying beer, wine or cigarettes who holds up the line. There
is a middle-aged blond male cashier at Giant who is incredibly slow and
stupid. He can't get anything right. Then there is some younger guy
named Jarrod or Justin or something who is equally slow and stupid and
some slow, hunchbacked old lady who never smiles. No wonder they have
them on the late night shift. Tonight I stopped at Seven Eleven after
this meaningful experience at Giant. Surprisingly, no one was buying
beer, probably because there were three or four uniformed Arlington
County cops doing nothing. Anyone who tries to rob that Seven Eleven is
in for a world of hurt. There was a county canine sport ut vehicle
with the name "Russ" painted on the side. I presumed that was the dawg's
name. Our tax dollars at work! Then I went to Carvel and was greeted
by a pleasant-faced young woman who spoke perfect English and understood
the complexities of small chocolate dipped cone. I didn't care that
she had purple hair -- I left money in the tip container.
It seems whenever I stop at Giant or Seven Elven on my way to work I run
into assholes buying beer. Maybe it's just sour grapes because I wish
I were drinking rather than working, but I invariably end up behind some
asshole buying beer, wine or cigarettes who holds up the line. There
is a middle-aged blond male cashier at Giant who is incredibly slow and
stupid. He can't get anything right. Then there is some younger guy
named Jarrod or Justin or something who is equally slow and stupid and
some slow, hunchbacked old lady who never smiles. No wonder they have
them on the late night shift. Tonight I stopped at Seven Eleven after
this meaningful experience at Giant. Surprisingly, no one was buying
beer, probably because there were three or four uniformed Arlington
County cops doing nothing. Anyone who tries to rob that Seven Eleven is
in for a world of hurt. There was a county canine sport ut vehicle
with the name "Russ" painted on the side. I presumed that was the dawg's
name. Our tax dollars at work! Then I went to Carvel and was greeted
by a pleasant-faced young woman who spoke perfect English and understood
the complexities of small chocolate dipped cone. I didn't care that
she had purple hair -- I left money in the tip container.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Thursday, June 24, 2004
NAUSEA, HEARTBURN, UPSET STOMACH, INDIGESTION, DIARRHEA
Yay, Pepto-Bismol. You have to admit it's a catchy little tune. I feel
sorry for the little woman at the end of the line, yet I would be happy
to have diarrhea if I could lose about 25 lbs. As I said before, I also
feel for the weepy little oval guy in the Zoloft spot, and it's
inspiring to see him bouncing around after birds or ladybugs or whatever.
I also envy the sleeping people, flowers and puppies in the Ambien
spots. Why do they run those things in the middle of the night when I
WISH I were home in bed?
Yay, Pepto-Bismol. You have to admit it's a catchy little tune. I feel
sorry for the little woman at the end of the line, yet I would be happy
to have diarrhea if I could lose about 25 lbs. As I said before, I also
feel for the weepy little oval guy in the Zoloft spot, and it's
inspiring to see him bouncing around after birds or ladybugs or whatever.
I also envy the sleeping people, flowers and puppies in the Ambien
spots. Why do they run those things in the middle of the night when I
WISH I were home in bed?
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
SAYING OF THE DAY
Seen in the window of the Blue House on Woodmont Avenue: "Raising
children is like being pecked to death by a duck." Or something like
that. Having only raised pigs, I wouldn't know.
Seen in the window of the Blue House on Woodmont Avenue: "Raising
children is like being pecked to death by a duck." Or something like
that. Having only raised pigs, I wouldn't know.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Monday, June 21, 2004
HOME SICK
Stayed home, too wiped out to get out of bed. Probably an allergy, although I can't find the current pollen count. It figures I would spend most of the longest day of the year in bed. Bill Clinton's book goes on sale in half an hour. Book stores are staying open -- may walk to Books a Million. A good way to meet hot young Democrats.
janedoe@seductive.com
Stayed home, too wiped out to get out of bed. Probably an allergy, although I can't find the current pollen count. It figures I would spend most of the longest day of the year in bed. Bill Clinton's book goes on sale in half an hour. Book stores are staying open -- may walk to Books a Million. A good way to meet hot young Democrats.
janedoe@seductive.com
Sunday, June 20, 2004
DADDY'S ROOMMATE
Saw Daddy's Roommate in the Father's Day display at Lamda Rising. On
the first page they show Daddy packing up his suitcases and leaving. You
should see poor Mommy's face. I felt sorry for Mommy. Then you see
Frank and think "Daddy could do better." I told my friend Fran about the
title of the book and she said "Oh, Daddy has a girlfriend?" When I
said, "no, a boyfriend," she was cool about it. Then there's the sequal,
"Daddy's Wedding," in which we find out Mommy has a new husband,
Stephen.
Saw Daddy's Roommate in the Father's Day display at Lamda Rising. On
the first page they show Daddy packing up his suitcases and leaving. You
should see poor Mommy's face. I felt sorry for Mommy. Then you see
Frank and think "Daddy could do better." I told my friend Fran about the
title of the book and she said "Oh, Daddy has a girlfriend?" When I
said, "no, a boyfriend," she was cool about it. Then there's the sequal,
"Daddy's Wedding," in which we find out Mommy has a new husband,
Stephen.
FATHER'S DAY
My father's name is Edward William Hautanen. He and his twin sister,
Marjorie (Decker) were born February 17th, 1924 in Mass, Michigan. Their
birth certificate gives a different date, but the the town was so small
the town doctor was also the town drunk and my grandmother says he got
the date wrong. Dad says his mother would probably remember the date of
her oldest daughter and only son (twins at that) better than that drunk.
I figured I had better write down some of the more entertaining things
he said before I get too old and dotty to remember. Those of you who
have met him may find these amusing:
1) They were kind of like hillbillies
2) Whoever thought kids would be going to dances in bedsheets
3) I bet between the two of them they weigh a quarter of a ton
4) I just saw Dolly Parton on TV. Her breasts look like basketballs
5) You can tell which ones are the girls -- they're wearing beads
6) So that's why they call it a laptop
7) What kind of pigs are those, screwing when there are people in the
house
8) You're eating that stuff like cereal
9) Trust not in precious metals
10) Believe only half of what you see and none of what you hear.
My father's name is Edward William Hautanen. He and his twin sister,
Marjorie (Decker) were born February 17th, 1924 in Mass, Michigan. Their
birth certificate gives a different date, but the the town was so small
the town doctor was also the town drunk and my grandmother says he got
the date wrong. Dad says his mother would probably remember the date of
her oldest daughter and only son (twins at that) better than that drunk.
I figured I had better write down some of the more entertaining things
he said before I get too old and dotty to remember. Those of you who
have met him may find these amusing:
1) They were kind of like hillbillies
2) Whoever thought kids would be going to dances in bedsheets
3) I bet between the two of them they weigh a quarter of a ton
4) I just saw Dolly Parton on TV. Her breasts look like basketballs
5) You can tell which ones are the girls -- they're wearing beads
6) So that's why they call it a laptop
7) What kind of pigs are those, screwing when there are people in the
house
8) You're eating that stuff like cereal
9) Trust not in precious metals
10) Believe only half of what you see and none of what you hear.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
"AARDVARK AS VERB"
About ten years ago the members of A Delaware Party (don't know whether
they exist anymore) wanted their party to be listed first on the ballot,
as "A Delaware" comes alphabetically before "Democrat" or "Repbublican."
Someone who was a non-party member said he would not be "aardvarked"
into anything. That was the only time in my life in which I heard "aardvark"
used as a verb. "Aardvark" comes from the Dutch and means "earth pig."
Don't know why I have been thinking of this -- maybe because of my
pigs or because of the numerous Montgomery pigs cruising the streets of
Bethesda. One day I was sitting outside with one of the pigs in my lap
and a DC cop drove by. I said "look, baby, another pig."
About ten years ago the members of A Delaware Party (don't know whether
they exist anymore) wanted their party to be listed first on the ballot,
as "A Delaware" comes alphabetically before "Democrat" or "Repbublican."
Someone who was a non-party member said he would not be "aardvarked"
into anything. That was the only time in my life in which I heard "aardvark"
used as a verb. "Aardvark" comes from the Dutch and means "earth pig."
Don't know why I have been thinking of this -- maybe because of my
pigs or because of the numerous Montgomery pigs cruising the streets of
Bethesda. One day I was sitting outside with one of the pigs in my lap
and a DC cop drove by. I said "look, baby, another pig."
Friday, June 18, 2004
Thursday, June 17, 2004
POWER SHEEP
Did a web search on Boss Hogg and found this.
I asked Phil what determines the power of a sheep. He says maybe the number of cylinders.
Did a web search on Boss Hogg and found this.
I asked Phil what determines the power of a sheep. He says maybe the number of cylinders.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
WHY I HAVE TROUBLE MEETING MEN
Took both pigs to the vet. Thunder is a proud two pounds 13 ounces, Lightning is 2lbs 14 oz.
A guy in the waiting room was complaining because he had to dip his dog. I told him about how Lightning's scrotum abscessed and I had to flush it twice a day. I could see the guy turning pale in front of me and almost see his legs curl up under him. He said "my wife has never had to flush my scrotum." When I told Mom she said "poor little fellow." I said "no, Lightning's fine, it was the guy I was talking about." This is probably why I have trouble meeting men.
Took both pigs to the vet. Thunder is a proud two pounds 13 ounces, Lightning is 2lbs 14 oz.
A guy in the waiting room was complaining because he had to dip his dog. I told him about how Lightning's scrotum abscessed and I had to flush it twice a day. I could see the guy turning pale in front of me and almost see his legs curl up under him. He said "my wife has never had to flush my scrotum." When I told Mom she said "poor little fellow." I said "no, Lightning's fine, it was the guy I was talking about." This is probably why I have trouble meeting men.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
SORRY-ASSED REDNECKS
George's niece works for in customer service for Comcast. He says if she gets a promotion she won't have to deal with the sorry-assed rednecks she does now. I spent the better part of my day talking to sorry-assed rednecks.
George's niece works for in customer service for Comcast. He says if she gets a promotion she won't have to deal with the sorry-assed rednecks she does now. I spent the better part of my day talking to sorry-assed rednecks.
PAY DAY
Those of us who have accounts at Chevy Chase bank have to deal with the mean Pakistani lady or the nice Hungarian lady. The guy in line at front of me at Suntrust wasn't too bright. I told the old lady "you deal with some pretty dumb people." That explains why
I don't do well in the PR field.
Those of us who have accounts at Chevy Chase bank have to deal with the mean Pakistani lady or the nice Hungarian lady. The guy in line at front of me at Suntrust wasn't too bright. I told the old lady "you deal with some pretty dumb people." That explains why
I don't do well in the PR field.
Monday, June 14, 2004
SMALL WONDER
Went to Delaware, had my traditional lunch at the Hotel DuPont and
walk down the Market Street Mall, had soft ice cream at the Dairy
Palace. How different would my life have been if I hadn't answered
that ad in the RTNDA newsletter?
Went to Delaware, had my traditional lunch at the Hotel DuPont and
walk down the Market Street Mall, had soft ice cream at the Dairy
Palace. How different would my life have been if I hadn't answered
that ad in the RTNDA newsletter?
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Saturday, June 12, 2004
I'LL MAKE YOU DINNER
What is with these guys who say "I'll cook you dinner?" You may think "awww, that's sweet," but it's not. The first guy who did that was a control freak who made me into a sous chef and yelled at me if I spilled stuff or forgot things. I also had to set the table and help wash up afterwards. Not only that, he fed me this health shit which tasted like crap and didn't lower my cholesterol anyway.
The second one was a cheap bastard who bragged about his gourmet cooking skills and stood me up on our first date. When we went to Clyde's after that I ordered an appetizer and dessert and he acted as though I had cost him a week's wages, despite the fact that he bragged about how rich and famous he was (I had never heard of him).
The third one offered to come to my condo (uninvited) after our first date. When I declined and we went out to eat, he told me about how he needs to take his "medicine" in order to keep feeling well. Considering the fact that he acted like a total and complete asshole, as opposed to a partial and incomplete asshole, I wanted to ask him how many doses he had missed.
What is with these guys who say "I'll cook you dinner?" You may think "awww, that's sweet," but it's not. The first guy who did that was a control freak who made me into a sous chef and yelled at me if I spilled stuff or forgot things. I also had to set the table and help wash up afterwards. Not only that, he fed me this health shit which tasted like crap and didn't lower my cholesterol anyway.
The second one was a cheap bastard who bragged about his gourmet cooking skills and stood me up on our first date. When we went to Clyde's after that I ordered an appetizer and dessert and he acted as though I had cost him a week's wages, despite the fact that he bragged about how rich and famous he was (I had never heard of him).
The third one offered to come to my condo (uninvited) after our first date. When I declined and we went out to eat, he told me about how he needs to take his "medicine" in order to keep feeling well. Considering the fact that he acted like a total and complete asshole, as opposed to a partial and incomplete asshole, I wanted to ask him how many doses he had missed.
Friday, June 11, 2004
IT'S OVER
President Reagan is dead and buried. One of my good-liberal roommates credits him with the end of communism and nothing else, but I think that would have happened anyway once people realized there was no money in it.
More than twenty years of my life have passed since the 1980 election. For me the Reagan years meant having to apologize for being white and being American. When I lived in Europe some of the anti-American things said to me were as bad as anything any black or Jew has had to endure. I couldn't get into a conversation with anyone on a bus without being personally attacked for Reagan's foreign policy and in America I had to hear minorities talking about Reagan cutting special programs. Never mind these were girls with whom I went to college and were on "scholarships" meant for poor kids, not the daughters of doctors and lawyers. For years my parents did without so I could attend the college of my choice and these girls wore designer clothes and jewlery and had their own cars, their own rooms and colored TV sets in their rooms. And where did my master's degree get me? I spent my day talking to stupid hicks who were probably recruited into their jobs from special education programs.
President Reagan is dead and buried. One of my good-liberal roommates credits him with the end of communism and nothing else, but I think that would have happened anyway once people realized there was no money in it.
More than twenty years of my life have passed since the 1980 election. For me the Reagan years meant having to apologize for being white and being American. When I lived in Europe some of the anti-American things said to me were as bad as anything any black or Jew has had to endure. I couldn't get into a conversation with anyone on a bus without being personally attacked for Reagan's foreign policy and in America I had to hear minorities talking about Reagan cutting special programs. Never mind these were girls with whom I went to college and were on "scholarships" meant for poor kids, not the daughters of doctors and lawyers. For years my parents did without so I could attend the college of my choice and these girls wore designer clothes and jewlery and had their own cars, their own rooms and colored TV sets in their rooms. And where did my master's degree get me? I spent my day talking to stupid hicks who were probably recruited into their jobs from special education programs.
DEAD PRESIDENTS
Didn't take part in too many of President Reagan's funeral proceedings. It's kind of like the day he was shot (right in my neighborhood), I was so bushed I was pretty numb. At the time I was carrying 18 credits per semester and only wanted to take a nap. I remember Alexander Haig saying he was in charge and then I figured nothing was gonna happen soon, so I went to bed.
I don't remember President Kennedy's death. When I think we were on vacation when President Truman died. When President Johnson died I was home sick. I cried because I didn't make the honor roll and my mom said "this man lost the presidency of the United States -- how do you think he felt?" The day Nixon died things were pretty tense with the guy I was dating, and I don't remember there being much fanfare for him. Probably because of Watergate. When Eisenhower died, our teacher, Mrs. Davis told us he had been President Nixon's vice president, his helper. That helped put it into perspective.
My mom and dad were not much for attending public ceremonies, but they did go see Hubert Humphrey's body lying in state. I had a cold, so I was excused from attending.
Didn't take part in too many of President Reagan's funeral proceedings. It's kind of like the day he was shot (right in my neighborhood), I was so bushed I was pretty numb. At the time I was carrying 18 credits per semester and only wanted to take a nap. I remember Alexander Haig saying he was in charge and then I figured nothing was gonna happen soon, so I went to bed.
I don't remember President Kennedy's death. When I think we were on vacation when President Truman died. When President Johnson died I was home sick. I cried because I didn't make the honor roll and my mom said "this man lost the presidency of the United States -- how do you think he felt?" The day Nixon died things were pretty tense with the guy I was dating, and I don't remember there being much fanfare for him. Probably because of Watergate. When Eisenhower died, our teacher, Mrs. Davis told us he had been President Nixon's vice president, his helper. That helped put it into perspective.
My mom and dad were not much for attending public ceremonies, but they did go see Hubert Humphrey's body lying in state. I had a cold, so I was excused from attending.
CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU
Ray Charles died yesterday. My favorite song of his was I Can't Stop Loving You. Or maybe Come Rain or Come Shine. Ray went to the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind, from whence cometh the huddle, or "Florida Deaf" for short. When I lived in Gainesville, there was a terrible scandal there. A little girl, Jennifer Driggers, was scalded in the shower. Jennifer was about nine years old and had the IQ of a two-year-old, and a staff member left her with two other mentally handicapped deaf girls. They probably never heard her scream.
After that there was an investigation which revealed all kinds of abuse and neglect over the years, so the school decided to hold a pep rally to raise morale. We sent our ultra-sensitive chief reporter who said the blind cheerleaders kept bumping into each other. The deaf cheerleaders looked better and moved better, but they grunted when they signed. Someone else said that was why Ray moved back and forth all the time,as a way to keep people from hitting him.
Ray Charles died yesterday. My favorite song of his was I Can't Stop Loving You. Or maybe Come Rain or Come Shine. Ray went to the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind, from whence cometh the huddle, or "Florida Deaf" for short. When I lived in Gainesville, there was a terrible scandal there. A little girl, Jennifer Driggers, was scalded in the shower. Jennifer was about nine years old and had the IQ of a two-year-old, and a staff member left her with two other mentally handicapped deaf girls. They probably never heard her scream.
After that there was an investigation which revealed all kinds of abuse and neglect over the years, so the school decided to hold a pep rally to raise morale. We sent our ultra-sensitive chief reporter who said the blind cheerleaders kept bumping into each other. The deaf cheerleaders looked better and moved better, but they grunted when they signed. Someone else said that was why Ray moved back and forth all the time,as a way to keep people from hitting him.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
REASONS TO HATE E-BAY (OR AT LEAST PAYPAL)
Wanted some jelly bracelets and ended up on E-Bay. Wasn't sure which ones I wanted, as you can't judge from the pix, so I ended up bidding on three packages and paying almost $25.00 for $5.00 worth of plastic. As they are sold in packages of at least ten apiece, I will probably have at least 150 or 200, so I can re-sell them or donate them to some kids' fundraiser. There is the awful tension of whether you will be outbid or not (fortunately I was not working on some really demanding project) then there is the fun of dealing with Paypal. I have dealt with them three times in my life, and each time it has been horrendous. This time I ended up calling them long-distance and being put on hold interminably during peak calling hours (at least not from my own phone) To her credit, Mary, the woman I dealt with was very nice and we got the problem resolved.
Wanted some jelly bracelets and ended up on E-Bay. Wasn't sure which ones I wanted, as you can't judge from the pix, so I ended up bidding on three packages and paying almost $25.00 for $5.00 worth of plastic. As they are sold in packages of at least ten apiece, I will probably have at least 150 or 200, so I can re-sell them or donate them to some kids' fundraiser. There is the awful tension of whether you will be outbid or not (fortunately I was not working on some really demanding project) then there is the fun of dealing with Paypal. I have dealt with them three times in my life, and each time it has been horrendous. This time I ended up calling them long-distance and being put on hold interminably during peak calling hours (at least not from my own phone) To her credit, Mary, the woman I dealt with was very nice and we got the problem resolved.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
ANOTHER REASON TO HATE METRO
To prove I am not a heartless, environment-hating Republican (and also because I didn't want to look for parking) I took Metro. Big mistake. The down escalator was not working, and of the two unused farecard machines, the only working one did not take bills. Through the grace and mercy of God the train arrives soon and I get one of the two unoccupied seats and have to listen to a bunch of obnoxious white kids. Then on the return trip I have to wait forever for the train and put up with a couple obnoxious black kids. Equal opportunity, I guess.
To prove I am not a heartless, environment-hating Republican (and also because I didn't want to look for parking) I took Metro. Big mistake. The down escalator was not working, and of the two unused farecard machines, the only working one did not take bills. Through the grace and mercy of God the train arrives soon and I get one of the two unoccupied seats and have to listen to a bunch of obnoxious white kids. Then on the return trip I have to wait forever for the train and put up with a couple obnoxious black kids. Equal opportunity, I guess.
HOW DUMB DO PEOPLE THINK I AM?
Some homeless-looking guy waved an envelope at me and told me he was a courier, he locked his keys inside the van in front of me and he needed 81 cents for the subway. I wanted to ask him why he had a US Postal Service envelope and why his van had a Department of Defense sticker and a handicapped tag. It could be he was a handicapped postal worker who had to deliver something to the defense dept, but I doubt it. At least he was original -- he didn't tell me he had a sick baby in the car and needed gas because his roommate locked him out or something like that.
Some homeless-looking guy waved an envelope at me and told me he was a courier, he locked his keys inside the van in front of me and he needed 81 cents for the subway. I wanted to ask him why he had a US Postal Service envelope and why his van had a Department of Defense sticker and a handicapped tag. It could be he was a handicapped postal worker who had to deliver something to the defense dept, but I doubt it. At least he was original -- he didn't tell me he had a sick baby in the car and needed gas because his roommate locked him out or something like that.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Monday, June 07, 2004
BAD KARMA DAY
At least two horoscopes point to a bad karma day -- actually it started last night. Things are getting better -- I found out I had more money in the M and T Bank than I thought I did and the parking meter had 55 minutes on it when I got there.
At least two horoscopes point to a bad karma day -- actually it started last night. Things are getting better -- I found out I had more money in the M and T Bank than I thought I did and the parking meter had 55 minutes on it when I got there.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Saturday, June 05, 2004
STARVING ARTISTS
Decided to start painting again, so I went to Sullivan's Toy Store and Michael's for supplies. No wonder there are so many starving artists -- paying $19.00 for a paint brush you can't afford food. I went away with the basics of everything for a little over $23.00. My art teacher at Immaculata said if artists charged by the hour no one would buy their work. A lady exhibiting somewhere in Prince George's County said she wouldn't sell if if people offered to buy it.
Decided to start painting again, so I went to Sullivan's Toy Store and Michael's for supplies. No wonder there are so many starving artists -- paying $19.00 for a paint brush you can't afford food. I went away with the basics of everything for a little over $23.00. My art teacher at Immaculata said if artists charged by the hour no one would buy their work. A lady exhibiting somewhere in Prince George's County said she wouldn't sell if if people offered to buy it.
Friday, June 04, 2004
MR. HAPPY
The late Erma Bombeck referred to the kid who was "allergic to clean clothes...he's the one who applauds the 'ring around the collar commercials'." I really enjoy the Zoloft spots. What does that say about me? I love watching the weepy little oval guy bouncing around. There was a really gloomy guy I used to work with. Someone referred to him as "Mr. Happy, the Prozac Poster Boy." Singularly he was "Mr. Happy." There was another almost equally gloomy guy, and together they were "Mr. Happy I" and "Mr. Happy II" or "the "Sunshine Boys." I wanted to call them "the Joy Boys," but Sean said that was an insult to Willard Scott and Eddie Walker. Oh, by the way, don't go to joyboys.com -- it's a porno site.
The late Erma Bombeck referred to the kid who was "allergic to clean clothes...he's the one who applauds the 'ring around the collar commercials'." I really enjoy the Zoloft spots. What does that say about me? I love watching the weepy little oval guy bouncing around. There was a really gloomy guy I used to work with. Someone referred to him as "Mr. Happy, the Prozac Poster Boy." Singularly he was "Mr. Happy." There was another almost equally gloomy guy, and together they were "Mr. Happy I" and "Mr. Happy II" or "the "Sunshine Boys." I wanted to call them "the Joy Boys," but Sean said that was an insult to Willard Scott and Eddie Walker. Oh, by the way, don't go to joyboys.com -- it's a porno site.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
AUTOCHTHONOUS
The winning word in the 2004 Scripps-Howard Spelling Bee is "autochthonous." These kids are not normal. The runner-up fainted and the winner was breathing so hard I thought he had asthma or cerebral palsy. And who can forget Rebecca Sealfon's delightful performance in 1997?
The best I ever did was in a spelling bee was in eighth grade. The word I misspelled was "pizzeria." I spelled it "pizzaria." That still haunts me to today. I entered all kind of contests -- essay contests, poetry contests, speech contests, talent shows, hobby shows -- anything to bring home a ribbon or a medal or a trophy. You do that when you're told you're "not a good girl" from age three on. One of the things I'm most proud of in high school was the fact that I was nominated for Miss Christmas Spirit. It was one of the few indications that people actually liked me for what I was, not what I accomplished.
The winning word in the 2004 Scripps-Howard Spelling Bee is "autochthonous." These kids are not normal. The runner-up fainted and the winner was breathing so hard I thought he had asthma or cerebral palsy. And who can forget Rebecca Sealfon's delightful performance in 1997?
The best I ever did was in a spelling bee was in eighth grade. The word I misspelled was "pizzeria." I spelled it "pizzaria." That still haunts me to today. I entered all kind of contests -- essay contests, poetry contests, speech contests, talent shows, hobby shows -- anything to bring home a ribbon or a medal or a trophy. You do that when you're told you're "not a good girl" from age three on. One of the things I'm most proud of in high school was the fact that I was nominated for Miss Christmas Spirit. It was one of the few indications that people actually liked me for what I was, not what I accomplished.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
ADOPT A CAT
June is Adopt-a-cat Month. The Animal Welfare League of Alexandria, from whence cometh my beloved Thunder, is sponsoring its annual Feline Follies.
June is Adopt-a-cat Month. The Animal Welfare League of Alexandria, from whence cometh my beloved Thunder, is sponsoring its annual Feline Follies.