CLASSES JUST FOR MEN
Sign-up by May 25th
(Due to the complexity and difficulty level, each course will accept a
maximum of 8 participants.)
How To Fill The Ice Cube Tray
Step By Step, With Slide Presentation
Toilet Paper: Does It Grow On The Holder?
Round Table Discussion
Is It Possible To Urinate By Lifting The Seat And Avoid
Splashing The Floor, Walls And Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And The Floor
Pictures And Explanatory Graphics
Dishes And Silverware: Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Sink?
Examples On Video
Identity Crisis: Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Helpline And Support Groups
Learning How To Find Things
Looking In The Right Place Instead Of Turning
The House Upside Down While Screaming
Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics And Audio Tape
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials
(may be cancelled due to unavailability of testimonials)
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly As She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulation
Learning About Life: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife
Online Class And Role Playing
How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion
Exercises, Meditation And Breathing Techniques
How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries, Other
Important Dates
And Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions And Full Lobotomies Offer
Lest you think I'm a sexist, this was sent to me by a man.
Sunday, February 29, 2004
A VERY SPECIAL BOOK
This is a very cool website. I found the book in the Metro Center station in December, but just returned it to the wild today. It's a good way to dispose of old books and members get together for coffee once a month in some cities.
This is a very cool website. I found the book in the Metro Center station in December, but just returned it to the wild today. It's a good way to dispose of old books and members get together for coffee once a month in some cities.
LIQUID CHEESE
Ken Hunter tells me a large amount of expenditures for pizza places is cheese. I did not know that. However, if you buy cheapo cheese you will be sorry. He says a salesman talked the boss into buying some of the cheap stuff and when it was baked it ran all over the place.
Ken Hunter tells me a large amount of expenditures for pizza places is cheese. I did not know that. However, if you buy cheapo cheese you will be sorry. He says a salesman talked the boss into buying some of the cheap stuff and when it was baked it ran all over the place.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
SILVER SPRINGS (NO, NOT IN MARYLAND OR IN FLORIDA)
You could be my silver spring
Blue - green colors flashing
I would be your only dream
Your shining over ocean crashing
Don't say that she's pretty
And did you say that she loved you
Baby I don't want to know
So I begin not to love you
Turn 'round, see me running
I say I loved you years ago
But tell myself you never loved me no
And don't say that she's pretty
And did you say that she loved you
Baby I don't want to know
Oh no
And can you tell me was it worth it
Baby I don't want to know
Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
I follow you down 'till the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
(Give me just a chance)
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman who loves you
(Was I just a fool)
I follow you down 'till the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
(Give me just a chance)
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman who loves you
(Was I just a fool)
by StevieNicks
No, I will not follow you. I could have loved you, but you would not let me. Now you are making it very easy to not love you.
You could be my silver spring
Blue - green colors flashing
I would be your only dream
Your shining over ocean crashing
Don't say that she's pretty
And did you say that she loved you
Baby I don't want to know
So I begin not to love you
Turn 'round, see me running
I say I loved you years ago
But tell myself you never loved me no
And don't say that she's pretty
And did you say that she loved you
Baby I don't want to know
Oh no
And can you tell me was it worth it
Baby I don't want to know
Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
I follow you down 'till the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
(Give me just a chance)
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman who loves you
(Was I just a fool)
I follow you down 'till the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
(Give me just a chance)
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman who loves you
(Was I just a fool)
by StevieNicks
No, I will not follow you. I could have loved you, but you would not let me. Now you are making it very easy to not love you.
Friday, February 27, 2004
OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY
The WAMU fund drive is on, and they have a pretty good deal going -- if you contribute $100, you can get a whole bunch of 2-for-1 dinner offers -- a couple hundred dollars' worth. My sweat shirt was covererd with pig fur -- people were asking me whether I had a dog or cat. A real conversation-starter. I was carrying a copy of Son of the Circus, and I told a woman I had been writing crime stories for about fifteen years. She thought I meant mystery novels, and asked whether I had written Son of the Circus. I wish.
The WAMU fund drive is on, and they have a pretty good deal going -- if you contribute $100, you can get a whole bunch of 2-for-1 dinner offers -- a couple hundred dollars' worth. My sweat shirt was covererd with pig fur -- people were asking me whether I had a dog or cat. A real conversation-starter. I was carrying a copy of Son of the Circus, and I told a woman I had been writing crime stories for about fifteen years. She thought I meant mystery novels, and asked whether I had written Son of the Circus. I wish.
THE LENTEN GOURMET
Foods I will probably be eating a lot of for the next six(?) Fridays:
Shrimp Ramen
Shrimp Lo Mein
Egg and cheese muffins/croissants
Filet o'Fish Sandwiches (If I can get a good deal)
Bagels w/cream cheese (and lox if I can afford it)
Bean Burritos
Peanut butter
Nuts
Tuna
Clam Chowda
Veggie Pizzas
janedoe@catholicexchange.com
Foods I will probably be eating a lot of for the next six(?) Fridays:
Shrimp Ramen
Shrimp Lo Mein
Egg and cheese muffins/croissants
Filet o'Fish Sandwiches (If I can get a good deal)
Bagels w/cream cheese (and lox if I can afford it)
Bean Burritos
Peanut butter
Nuts
Tuna
Clam Chowda
Veggie Pizzas
janedoe@catholicexchange.com
Thursday, February 26, 2004
I HAD A DREAM
Didn't go to work yesterday, as I had worked and fasted the night before. Slept a lot (much needed) and dreamt a lot. I dreamt I had to go to the hospital and there was a doctor who looked a lot like my boss, so I gave her wide berth. I figured after the surgery, or whatever, I would need some cash, so I insisted on going to the nearest Wachovia ATM, even though I don't have a Wachovia credit card. By this time I am walking around the hospital completely naked, which I don't realize until I run into my father, who is wearing my jacket. I don't ask for it back. Then Mom insists on making up all the beds and giving gifts to the hospital staff -- she gave me at least one big shot in the ass.
I also dreamt I was in Hawaii looking for soft ice cream. Then on my way to work I discovered Carvel has opened a shop next to Mario's Pizza in Clarendon (for real). Is this dream prophetic?
Didn't go to work yesterday, as I had worked and fasted the night before. Slept a lot (much needed) and dreamt a lot. I dreamt I had to go to the hospital and there was a doctor who looked a lot like my boss, so I gave her wide berth. I figured after the surgery, or whatever, I would need some cash, so I insisted on going to the nearest Wachovia ATM, even though I don't have a Wachovia credit card. By this time I am walking around the hospital completely naked, which I don't realize until I run into my father, who is wearing my jacket. I don't ask for it back. Then Mom insists on making up all the beds and giving gifts to the hospital staff -- she gave me at least one big shot in the ass.
I also dreamt I was in Hawaii looking for soft ice cream. Then on my way to work I discovered Carvel has opened a shop next to Mario's Pizza in Clarendon (for real). Is this dream prophetic?
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
LENT SUCKS!
Fasting sucks, especially if you are hung over and already dehydrated and hypoglycemic, but that's not the case this year -- I worked Mardi Gras. A long time ago a priest told me instead of giving stuff up for Lent, you should try to do something extra, such as extra prayer or being extra nice to someone who drives you up a wall. One year I decided to be extra nice to a co-worker known as Asshole Engineer or "Asshole" for short. Unfortunately, I could not be nice to this man, the best I could do was stop insulting him, so I stopped doing that. Essentially I gave up talking to him for Lent. Unfortunately as soon as Easter was over, I was back at it -- it was Instant Bitch all over again.
Fasting sucks, especially if you are hung over and already dehydrated and hypoglycemic, but that's not the case this year -- I worked Mardi Gras. A long time ago a priest told me instead of giving stuff up for Lent, you should try to do something extra, such as extra prayer or being extra nice to someone who drives you up a wall. One year I decided to be extra nice to a co-worker known as Asshole Engineer or "Asshole" for short. Unfortunately, I could not be nice to this man, the best I could do was stop insulting him, so I stopped doing that. Essentially I gave up talking to him for Lent. Unfortunately as soon as Easter was over, I was back at it -- it was Instant Bitch all over again.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
17 WEEKS/SIX WEEKS
I thought it would be over once the kid was declared involved or not involved, but now there's the deal of victim's compensation and getting back the money which was stolen. Since I haven't blogged much recently, here's an update in a nutshell. Family is good, pigs are good, I didn't blog about my dad's birthday, which was on the 17th, or the third anniversary of my first date with my latest love interest, which was the same day. I'm sure you're all sorry about that. Healthwise I am about the same, maybe a little better, probably nothing having only one job with benefits wouldn't cure. Jobwise, when God shuts a door he opens a window, I am not gonna beat myself or my boss up over any injustices, real or perceived. Financially about the same, hopefully I will get a big tax refund this year. On the boyfriend front, no prospects, or no good ones anyway, but the pain is subsiding. Catherine says give him six weeks, then call him again, despite his directive never to call him again. I would say more like six months, if he's not undersold by the competition.
I thought it would be over once the kid was declared involved or not involved, but now there's the deal of victim's compensation and getting back the money which was stolen. Since I haven't blogged much recently, here's an update in a nutshell. Family is good, pigs are good, I didn't blog about my dad's birthday, which was on the 17th, or the third anniversary of my first date with my latest love interest, which was the same day. I'm sure you're all sorry about that. Healthwise I am about the same, maybe a little better, probably nothing having only one job with benefits wouldn't cure. Jobwise, when God shuts a door he opens a window, I am not gonna beat myself or my boss up over any injustices, real or perceived. Financially about the same, hopefully I will get a big tax refund this year. On the boyfriend front, no prospects, or no good ones anyway, but the pain is subsiding. Catherine says give him six weeks, then call him again, despite his directive never to call him again. I would say more like six months, if he's not undersold by the competition.
Monday, February 23, 2004
Quote to Note
"Being a dwarf is no secret."
From A Son the Circus by John Irving. Rumor has it Irving is working on the screenplay. Where will they find all the dwarves? Rumor also has it in the movie version of A Widow for One Year, Catherine Deneuve would play Marion. The only thing which would make it hotter would be to cast Tobey Maguire as young Eddie.
"Being a dwarf is no secret."
From A Son the Circus by John Irving. Rumor has it Irving is working on the screenplay. Where will they find all the dwarves? Rumor also has it in the movie version of A Widow for One Year, Catherine Deneuve would play Marion. The only thing which would make it hotter would be to cast Tobey Maguire as young Eddie.
FLY ME TO THE MOON
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
By Bart Howard
The guy who wrote this song died over the weekend. Funny, whenever I tell guys I love them (or am even attracted to them) it ends badly (or at least unsatisfactorily)
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
By Bart Howard
The guy who wrote this song died over the weekend. Funny, whenever I tell guys I love them (or am even attracted to them) it ends badly (or at least unsatisfactorily)
Sunday, February 22, 2004
DYING OF A BROKEN HEART
Well, not exactly, but my old senior producer died of a heart attack (or related causes) after most of us lost our jobs and he was re-hired.
Well, not exactly, but my old senior producer died of a heart attack (or related causes) after most of us lost our jobs and he was re-hired.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
NOW WHAT?
Now that it's over, now what? In the time I was not blogging, at least one Democrat dropped out of the presidential race and Janet Jackson was again #1 of the Lycos 50.
Now that it's over, now what? In the time I was not blogging, at least one Democrat dropped out of the presidential race and Janet Jackson was again #1 of the Lycos 50.
Friday, February 20, 2004
NOW THAT IT'S OVER
I had to listen to the 911 tape of the robbery twice -- it was like
living it all over again. Not only that, I had to walk past the kid
who robbed me and sit in the same room with him. The prosecutor, who's
supposed to be on my side, and the public defender both asked me whether
I'd been raped. There was an attractive woman, probably about my age,
who watched the proceedings. Don't know whether she was the kid's mom,
his aunt, his foster mother or his grandmother. She looked so sad.
I had to listen to the 911 tape of the robbery twice -- it was like
living it all over again. Not only that, I had to walk past the kid
who robbed me and sit in the same room with him. The prosecutor, who's
supposed to be on my side, and the public defender both asked me whether
I'd been raped. There was an attractive woman, probably about my age,
who watched the proceedings. Don't know whether she was the kid's mom,
his aunt, his foster mother or his grandmother. She looked so sad.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
JUST ONE LOOK
Just one look and I fell so hard
In love with you, oh-oh, oh-oh
I found out how good it feels
To have your love, oh-oh, oh-oh
Say you will, will be mine
Forever and always, oh-oh, oh-oh
Just one look and I knew
That you were my only one
Oh oh-oh oh!
I thought I was dreamin' but I was wrong, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, but-a, I'm gonna keep on schemin'
Till I can a-make you, make you my own!
So you see, I really care
Without you I'm nothin', oh-oh, oh-oh
Just one look and I know
I'll get you someday, oh-oh, oh-oh
Just one look, that's all it took
Just one look, that's all it took
Just one look, that's all it took
by G. Carroll and D. Payne
That's how I felt about my latest love interest -- just one look was all it took. Yeah, I know you're really happy to hear about him again. NPR reports Doris Troy died this week.
Just one look and I fell so hard
In love with you, oh-oh, oh-oh
I found out how good it feels
To have your love, oh-oh, oh-oh
Say you will, will be mine
Forever and always, oh-oh, oh-oh
Just one look and I knew
That you were my only one
Oh oh-oh oh!
I thought I was dreamin' but I was wrong, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, but-a, I'm gonna keep on schemin'
Till I can a-make you, make you my own!
So you see, I really care
Without you I'm nothin', oh-oh, oh-oh
Just one look and I know
I'll get you someday, oh-oh, oh-oh
Just one look, that's all it took
Just one look, that's all it took
Just one look, that's all it took
by G. Carroll and D. Payne
That's how I felt about my latest love interest -- just one look was all it took. Yeah, I know you're really happy to hear about him again. NPR reports Doris Troy died this week.
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR CONVICTION
My ex boyfriend left a message on my voicemail saying "congratulations on your conviction." Does Hallmark make a card with that sentiment? And what about the kid? do they make cards saying "sorry I stole your money and threatened to shoot you?" I have started working on my book again.
janedoe@seductive.com
My ex boyfriend left a message on my voicemail saying "congratulations on your conviction." Does Hallmark make a card with that sentiment? And what about the kid? do they make cards saying "sorry I stole your money and threatened to shoot you?" I have started working on my book again.
janedoe@seductive.com
Friday, February 13, 2004
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
JACKSON #1
Janet, not Michael, Jackson was # 1 of the latest Lycos 50. I think we should ignore the whole family until one of them does something positive.
Janet, not Michael, Jackson was # 1 of the latest Lycos 50. I think we should ignore the whole family until one of them does something positive.
Monday, February 09, 2004
POKING FUN AT CHRISTIANS
At a fund drive for a local public radio station, which shall remain nameless, a Jewish volunteer bid a fellow Jew farewell saying something like "we'll poke fun at Christians" or "let's poke fun at Christians." Can you imagine if I had told one of my fellow Christians "Let's poke fun at Jews?" Or blacks, or gays or Hispanics or people with disabilities? I'd have had the anti-defamation League, the NAACP or the ACLU on my ass so fast...And this at a public radio station, which prides itself on its tolerance and liberality.
At a fund drive for a local public radio station, which shall remain nameless, a Jewish volunteer bid a fellow Jew farewell saying something like "we'll poke fun at Christians" or "let's poke fun at Christians." Can you imagine if I had told one of my fellow Christians "Let's poke fun at Jews?" Or blacks, or gays or Hispanics or people with disabilities? I'd have had the anti-defamation League, the NAACP or the ACLU on my ass so fast...And this at a public radio station, which prides itself on its tolerance and liberality.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
WHAT TO WEAR
I go to court tomorrow. The burning question -- what to wear? This may sound frivolous, but if I dress like a bimbo, people may think I'm stupid or I "invited" the crime, even though the guy did not rape me. If I dress too elegantly, I will look like the rich white lady who has it in for the poor black kid, and If I dress too preppy or yuppy, people will think I can't possibly relate to "his world." I guess the polka-dotted dress, which is clean and has sleeves and reveals very few or no secondary sex characteristics.
I go to court tomorrow. The burning question -- what to wear? This may sound frivolous, but if I dress like a bimbo, people may think I'm stupid or I "invited" the crime, even though the guy did not rape me. If I dress too elegantly, I will look like the rich white lady who has it in for the poor black kid, and If I dress too preppy or yuppy, people will think I can't possibly relate to "his world." I guess the polka-dotted dress, which is clean and has sleeves and reveals very few or no secondary sex characteristics.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
THE MARY ELLEN CARTER
She went down last October in a pouring driving rain.
The skipper, he'd been drinking and the Mate, he felt no pain.
Too close to Three Mile Rock, and she was dealt her mortal blow,
And the Mary Ellen Carter settled low.
There were five of us aboard her when she finally was awash.
We'd worked like hell to save her, all heedless of the cost.
And the groan she gave as she went down, it caused us to proclaim
That the Mary Ellen Carter would rise again.
Well, the owners wrote her off; not a nickel would they spend.
She gave twenty years of service, boys, then met her sorry end.
But insurance paid the loss to them, they let her rest below.
Then they laughed at us and said we had to go.
But we talked of her all winter, some days around the clock,
For she's worth a quarter million, afloat and at the dock.
And with every jar that hit the bar, we swore we would remain
And make the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Rise again, rise again, that her name not be lost
To the knowledge of men.
Those who loved her best and were with her till the end
Will make the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
All spring, now, we've been with her on a barge lent by a friend.
Three dives a day in hard hat suit and twice I've had the bends.
Thank God it's only sixty feet and the currents here are slow
Or I'd never have the strength to go below.
But we've patched her rents, stopped her vents, dogged hatch and
porthole down.
Put cables to her, 'fore and aft and birded her around.
Tomorrow, noon, we hit the air and then take up the strain.
And watch the Mary Ellen Carter Rise Again.
For we couldn't leave her there, you see, to crumble into scale.
She'd saved our lives so many times, living through the gale
And the laughing, drunken rats who left her to a sorry grave
They won't be laughing in another day. . .
And you, to whom adversity has dealt the final blow
With smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go
Turn to, and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain
And like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again.
Rise again, rise again - though your heart it be broken
And life about to end
No matter what you've lost, be it a home, a love, a friend.
Like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Written and recorded by Stan Rogers on Between the Breaks ....Live.
Copyright Fogarty's Cove Music
Heard this on my car radio on WETA. One of my girlfriends used to get upset if anyone covered a Beatles song, however, the late Stan Rogers, in his infinite wisdom, invited people to improvise on his music.
She went down last October in a pouring driving rain.
The skipper, he'd been drinking and the Mate, he felt no pain.
Too close to Three Mile Rock, and she was dealt her mortal blow,
And the Mary Ellen Carter settled low.
There were five of us aboard her when she finally was awash.
We'd worked like hell to save her, all heedless of the cost.
And the groan she gave as she went down, it caused us to proclaim
That the Mary Ellen Carter would rise again.
Well, the owners wrote her off; not a nickel would they spend.
She gave twenty years of service, boys, then met her sorry end.
But insurance paid the loss to them, they let her rest below.
Then they laughed at us and said we had to go.
But we talked of her all winter, some days around the clock,
For she's worth a quarter million, afloat and at the dock.
And with every jar that hit the bar, we swore we would remain
And make the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Rise again, rise again, that her name not be lost
To the knowledge of men.
Those who loved her best and were with her till the end
Will make the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
All spring, now, we've been with her on a barge lent by a friend.
Three dives a day in hard hat suit and twice I've had the bends.
Thank God it's only sixty feet and the currents here are slow
Or I'd never have the strength to go below.
But we've patched her rents, stopped her vents, dogged hatch and
porthole down.
Put cables to her, 'fore and aft and birded her around.
Tomorrow, noon, we hit the air and then take up the strain.
And watch the Mary Ellen Carter Rise Again.
For we couldn't leave her there, you see, to crumble into scale.
She'd saved our lives so many times, living through the gale
And the laughing, drunken rats who left her to a sorry grave
They won't be laughing in another day. . .
And you, to whom adversity has dealt the final blow
With smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go
Turn to, and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain
And like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again.
Rise again, rise again - though your heart it be broken
And life about to end
No matter what you've lost, be it a home, a love, a friend.
Like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Written and recorded by Stan Rogers on Between the Breaks ....Live.
Copyright Fogarty's Cove Music
Heard this on my car radio on WETA. One of my girlfriends used to get upset if anyone covered a Beatles song, however, the late Stan Rogers, in his infinite wisdom, invited people to improvise on his music.
FALSE ALARM
The fire alarm went off in our building today. Even though I was pretty sure it was a false alarm, I packed up the pigs and took them out. It shows where my priorities are. The prosecutor called me yesterday and talked about the case. That was unnerving, too. Evidently she's also working on the Ballou High shooting case, so I'm in good company.
The fire alarm went off in our building today. Even though I was pretty sure it was a false alarm, I packed up the pigs and took them out. It shows where my priorities are. The prosecutor called me yesterday and talked about the case. That was unnerving, too. Evidently she's also working on the Ballou High shooting case, so I'm in good company.
Friday, February 06, 2004
BEAT THE BEATLES
Or be beaten by them. There is an article in today's Post about an ill-fated comedy duo called Brill and McCall who performed on the Ed Sullivan Show the same night as the Beatles. They come across as extremely bitter, but they admit they sucked and it wasn't their fault.
Or be beaten by them. There is an article in today's Post about an ill-fated comedy duo called Brill and McCall who performed on the Ed Sullivan Show the same night as the Beatles. They come across as extremely bitter, but they admit they sucked and it wasn't their fault.
THREE YEARS
Three years ago today I met the fourth love of my life. I met my first love first day of classes freshman year in high school (if I met him before, I wasn't aware of it.) It took me over a year to realize how I felt about him. He turned out to be gay. I met the second love of my life my junior year in college. It took a couple weeks, maybe a month to realize how I felt about him. When I last heard about him, he was one step away from homelessness. The first time I remember seeing my third and great love he was with another woman and I already had a boyfriend. Again, if I met him before that, I'm not aware of it. It took us at least four months to realize how we felt about each other. My fourth love I met three years ago today. I don't regret accepting his invitation to go out for coffee, I don't regret looking him up on the internet and I don't regret telling him I loved him. The only thing I regret is that he didn't love me back.
Three years ago today I met the fourth love of my life. I met my first love first day of classes freshman year in high school (if I met him before, I wasn't aware of it.) It took me over a year to realize how I felt about him. He turned out to be gay. I met the second love of my life my junior year in college. It took a couple weeks, maybe a month to realize how I felt about him. When I last heard about him, he was one step away from homelessness. The first time I remember seeing my third and great love he was with another woman and I already had a boyfriend. Again, if I met him before that, I'm not aware of it. It took us at least four months to realize how we felt about each other. My fourth love I met three years ago today. I don't regret accepting his invitation to go out for coffee, I don't regret looking him up on the internet and I don't regret telling him I loved him. The only thing I regret is that he didn't love me back.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
I DREAM OF COOKIES
Drove home from work barely able to keep my eyes open, and now I can't sleep, so I'm waiting for Nightline to come on. Last night I dreamt about some cookies I really loved, but I can't remember where I got them. I think it was either in Cologne or Munich, on or near the Schellingstraße. Not sure whether they were just available at Christmas time, but I think I served them at at least one of my birthday parties, so they must have been available all year. Now I am going crazy trying to remember where to get them.
Funny how one dream can awaken so many memories. All evening long I have been thinking about Europe -- how young and thin I was and full of promise, but June keeps telling me how pretty I have become recently. It's been like opening an envelope, or a drawer or a closet or a room and not being able to close it without examining all the contents, all the "what if's." What if I had not gone to Immaculata, majored in German, spent my junior year in Munich, won the Fulbright Fellowship etc? There are memories of hateful, hurtful things said to me, about me and by me, also of Gainesville and my hatred of Florida in general, made into a grudging tolerance by the years. I spent a total of about four and a half years in Europe, almost half the '80's. I think the '20's and '30's can be as influential on one's life as the teens or the childhood -- it's not necessarily how young or how old you are that things influence your life as what happens when. It wasn't just for financial reasons I didn't go to my junior year reunion, there are too many memories. Now I have a college reunion to worry about.
janedoe@seductive.com
Drove home from work barely able to keep my eyes open, and now I can't sleep, so I'm waiting for Nightline to come on. Last night I dreamt about some cookies I really loved, but I can't remember where I got them. I think it was either in Cologne or Munich, on or near the Schellingstraße. Not sure whether they were just available at Christmas time, but I think I served them at at least one of my birthday parties, so they must have been available all year. Now I am going crazy trying to remember where to get them.
Funny how one dream can awaken so many memories. All evening long I have been thinking about Europe -- how young and thin I was and full of promise, but June keeps telling me how pretty I have become recently. It's been like opening an envelope, or a drawer or a closet or a room and not being able to close it without examining all the contents, all the "what if's." What if I had not gone to Immaculata, majored in German, spent my junior year in Munich, won the Fulbright Fellowship etc? There are memories of hateful, hurtful things said to me, about me and by me, also of Gainesville and my hatred of Florida in general, made into a grudging tolerance by the years. I spent a total of about four and a half years in Europe, almost half the '80's. I think the '20's and '30's can be as influential on one's life as the teens or the childhood -- it's not necessarily how young or how old you are that things influence your life as what happens when. It wasn't just for financial reasons I didn't go to my junior year reunion, there are too many memories. Now I have a college reunion to worry about.
janedoe@seductive.com
GROWING OLD GRACEFULLY
Microsoft has an article on computing over 40. I would think that's kind of young to need "accessibility aids," but then with me presbyopia set in when I was about 18.
Microsoft has an article on computing over 40. I would think that's kind of young to need "accessibility aids," but then with me presbyopia set in when I was about 18.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
THE BEST AWFUL
Terry Gross had Carrie Fisher on as her guest on Fresh Air. Carrie talked about her new book, The Best Awful, how she thought her drug use made her ex-husband gay. I thought I made a kid in my neighborhood gay because I was such a bully, then about seven years later I fell in love with a gay guy. Is there a support group for people who were married to, dated or attracted to people who turned out to be gay?
Terry Gross had Carrie Fisher on as her guest on Fresh Air. Carrie talked about her new book, The Best Awful, how she thought her drug use made her ex-husband gay. I thought I made a kid in my neighborhood gay because I was such a bully, then about seven years later I fell in love with a gay guy. Is there a support group for people who were married to, dated or attracted to people who turned out to be gay?
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
FOURTEEN WEEKS/THREE WEEKS
It's been 14 weeks since the robbery. Whenever I hear someone coming up behind me on the sidewalk, I let them pass and I get behind them. Three weeks since the break-up -- it took almost three years to get to this point. Are there any rules as to how many weeks per month/year it takes to get over a relationship?
It's been 14 weeks since the robbery. Whenever I hear someone coming up behind me on the sidewalk, I let them pass and I get behind them. Three weeks since the break-up -- it took almost three years to get to this point. Are there any rules as to how many weeks per month/year it takes to get over a relationship?
Monday, February 02, 2004
AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT
Of hips and lips....
"I like big butts and I cannot lie
u other brotherz can't deny
when a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist
and a round thing in ur face u get sprung
want to pull up tough
cuz u noticed that butt was stuck
beef to the jeans shes wearing
im hooked and I can't stop staring
oh baby I wanna get wit cha
and take ur pictcha
my homeboys tryed 2 warn me
but that butt u got makes me so horny
ooooooo rumple smooth skin
u say u wanna get my benz
well use me use me cuz u ain't that average groupie
I seen her dancin
to hell with romancing
she sweat
wet
shes got it going like a turbo jet
im tired of magazines
seenin flat butts are the thing
cuz the average black man ask him that
shes got 2 pack much back
so fellas
YAH!
fellas
YAH!
cuz ur girlfriends got the butt
HELL YAH!
shake it
yah
shake it
yah
shake that healthy butt
baby got back
baby got back
I like them round and big
and when Im throwing a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm acting like an animal
now here's my scandal
I wanna get u home and
uh
double up
uh uh
I ain't talking bout playboy
those silicon parts are made for toys
I want them real thick and juicy
so find that juicy double
mix-alot seem trouble
begging for a piece of that bubble
so Im looking at rock videos
knocking these bimbos
looking like hoes
u can those bimbos
I keep my women like flo-jo
a word to the thick soled sisterz
i wanna get wit cha
i won't cus or hit cha
i gotta be straight when I say
I wanna uh to the break of dawn
baby's got it going on
a lot of sims won't like this song
cuz thoses punks like to hit and quit it
and I'd ratehr stay and play
cuz I'm long and I'm strong
and I'm down to get this frick shit on
so ladies
YAH!
ladies
YAH!
so u wanna roll my mercedes
YAH!
so turn around
stick it out
even white boys got 2 shout
baby got back
baby got back
yah baby
when it comes to females
cosmo ain't got nothing to do with my selection
36
24
36
on if she's 5'3"
so ur girlfriend owns a honda
playing workout tapes by fonda
but fonda ain't got a motor on the back of her honda
my anacoda
don't got none unless u got buns hun
you can do side bends or sit-ups
but please don't use that butt
some brotherz wanna play that hard roll
and tell ya that the butt ain't gold
so they toss and leave it
and i pull up quick to retrieve it
so cosmo says ur fat
well i ain't down wit dat
cuz ur waist is small
and ur curves are kicking
and im thinking bout sticking
to the beanpole dames and the magazines
you ain't it miss thing
give me a sista
i can't resist her
red beans and rice didn't miss her
some knuckle head tried to dis
cuz those girls are on my list
he had game
but he chose to hit em
and I pull up quick to get wit him
so ladies if da butt is round
and u wanna triple xbo down
dial 1-900-mixalot
and kick dem nasty thoughts
baby got back
baby got back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back"
Baby Got Back by Sir Mix a Lot
People say this song is sexist, but as a '''thick-soled sister," I take it as a compliment. As Rachel said to Emma on Friends, "you beautiful little weirdo." Those reading this will probably say "why doesn't that fat lardo get her big ass away from the TV and the computer already?" However, I AM proud of myself -- I've lost so much weight recently one of my rings fell off.
Of hips and lips....
"I like big butts and I cannot lie
u other brotherz can't deny
when a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist
and a round thing in ur face u get sprung
want to pull up tough
cuz u noticed that butt was stuck
beef to the jeans shes wearing
im hooked and I can't stop staring
oh baby I wanna get wit cha
and take ur pictcha
my homeboys tryed 2 warn me
but that butt u got makes me so horny
ooooooo rumple smooth skin
u say u wanna get my benz
well use me use me cuz u ain't that average groupie
I seen her dancin
to hell with romancing
she sweat
wet
shes got it going like a turbo jet
im tired of magazines
seenin flat butts are the thing
cuz the average black man ask him that
shes got 2 pack much back
so fellas
YAH!
fellas
YAH!
cuz ur girlfriends got the butt
HELL YAH!
shake it
yah
shake it
yah
shake that healthy butt
baby got back
baby got back
I like them round and big
and when Im throwing a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm acting like an animal
now here's my scandal
I wanna get u home and
uh
double up
uh uh
I ain't talking bout playboy
those silicon parts are made for toys
I want them real thick and juicy
so find that juicy double
mix-alot seem trouble
begging for a piece of that bubble
so Im looking at rock videos
knocking these bimbos
looking like hoes
u can those bimbos
I keep my women like flo-jo
a word to the thick soled sisterz
i wanna get wit cha
i won't cus or hit cha
i gotta be straight when I say
I wanna uh to the break of dawn
baby's got it going on
a lot of sims won't like this song
cuz thoses punks like to hit and quit it
and I'd ratehr stay and play
cuz I'm long and I'm strong
and I'm down to get this frick shit on
so ladies
YAH!
ladies
YAH!
so u wanna roll my mercedes
YAH!
so turn around
stick it out
even white boys got 2 shout
baby got back
baby got back
yah baby
when it comes to females
cosmo ain't got nothing to do with my selection
36
24
36
on if she's 5'3"
so ur girlfriend owns a honda
playing workout tapes by fonda
but fonda ain't got a motor on the back of her honda
my anacoda
don't got none unless u got buns hun
you can do side bends or sit-ups
but please don't use that butt
some brotherz wanna play that hard roll
and tell ya that the butt ain't gold
so they toss and leave it
and i pull up quick to retrieve it
so cosmo says ur fat
well i ain't down wit dat
cuz ur waist is small
and ur curves are kicking
and im thinking bout sticking
to the beanpole dames and the magazines
you ain't it miss thing
give me a sista
i can't resist her
red beans and rice didn't miss her
some knuckle head tried to dis
cuz those girls are on my list
he had game
but he chose to hit em
and I pull up quick to get wit him
so ladies if da butt is round
and u wanna triple xbo down
dial 1-900-mixalot
and kick dem nasty thoughts
baby got back
baby got back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back"
Baby Got Back by Sir Mix a Lot
People say this song is sexist, but as a '''thick-soled sister," I take it as a compliment. As Rachel said to Emma on Friends, "you beautiful little weirdo." Those reading this will probably say "why doesn't that fat lardo get her big ass away from the TV and the computer already?" However, I AM proud of myself -- I've lost so much weight recently one of my rings fell off.
DIVINE THING
You are the one supreme being
Just dressed to kill and fulfill
Just any dream
And you are the one heart's desire
All hips and lips to trick any fool
And I could've sworn that you were an angel
'Cause you're a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
But I should've known that you were the devil
Dressed like a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
And you lack the one thing
That is devotion
Not always there
In your hair
In a daze
Just too mixed up in your own emotions
Your vanity will always be your greatest thing
And I could've sworn that you were an angel
'Cause you're a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
But I should've known that you were the devil
Dressed like a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
by the Soup Dragons
That's me, all hips and lips....
You are the one supreme being
Just dressed to kill and fulfill
Just any dream
And you are the one heart's desire
All hips and lips to trick any fool
And I could've sworn that you were an angel
'Cause you're a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
But I should've known that you were the devil
Dressed like a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
And you lack the one thing
That is devotion
Not always there
In your hair
In a daze
Just too mixed up in your own emotions
Your vanity will always be your greatest thing
And I could've sworn that you were an angel
'Cause you're a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
But I should've known that you were the devil
Dressed like a
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet divine thing
by the Soup Dragons
That's me, all hips and lips....
GROUND HOG'S DAY
Today is Groundhog's Day. Most likely he saw his shadow. Thunder is the closest thing I have to a groundhog. Aunt Ellen wants to know whether he saw his shadow.
Today is Groundhog's Day. Most likely he saw his shadow. Thunder is the closest thing I have to a groundhog. Aunt Ellen wants to know whether he saw his shadow.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
PATS VS CATS
Sorry, I didn't make that one up, forget where I got it. Here are some Superbowl Facts.
Sorry, I didn't make that one up, forget where I got it. Here are some Superbowl Facts.
AT LAST
At last
my love has come along
my lonely days over
and life is like a song
Ooh At last
the skies above are blue
well my heart was wrapped up in clover
the night I looked at you
I found a dream
that I could speak to
a dream that I could call my own
I found a thrill
to press my cheek to
a thrill that I have never known
well
You smile
you smile
oh and then the spell was cast
and here we are in heaven
for you are mine at last
I found a dream
that I could speak to
a dream that I
could call my own
I found a thrill
to press my cheek to
a thrill that I have never known
well
You smile
you smile
oh and then the spell was cast
and here we are in heaven
for you are mine at last
ooo yea
you are mine
you are mine
at last
at last
at last
at last
By Etta James
Jaguar used this in a spot about 12 years ago and I fell in love with the song then. About two years ago I went to two weddings and they played it. I would love to have it for the first dance if I get married, but at my age, it sounds like "at last I got married. Now I can eat."
At last
my love has come along
my lonely days over
and life is like a song
Ooh At last
the skies above are blue
well my heart was wrapped up in clover
the night I looked at you
I found a dream
that I could speak to
a dream that I could call my own
I found a thrill
to press my cheek to
a thrill that I have never known
well
You smile
you smile
oh and then the spell was cast
and here we are in heaven
for you are mine at last
I found a dream
that I could speak to
a dream that I
could call my own
I found a thrill
to press my cheek to
a thrill that I have never known
well
You smile
you smile
oh and then the spell was cast
and here we are in heaven
for you are mine at last
ooo yea
you are mine
you are mine
at last
at last
at last
at last
By Etta James
Jaguar used this in a spot about 12 years ago and I fell in love with the song then. About two years ago I went to two weddings and they played it. I would love to have it for the first dance if I get married, but at my age, it sounds like "at last I got married. Now I can eat."
COLUMBIA ANNIVERSARY
The space shuttle Columbia crashed a year ago today. I first heard about it from my girlfriend, Carol, but didn't believe it -- Carol sends jokes all the time, so I just thought this was another joke. One day Carol will e-mail me telling me the Apocalypse has taken place and I won't believe her.
The space shuttle Columbia crashed a year ago today. I first heard about it from my girlfriend, Carol, but didn't believe it -- Carol sends jokes all the time, so I just thought this was another joke. One day Carol will e-mail me telling me the Apocalypse has taken place and I won't believe her.