IT WAS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

 But the night was nice. 

I FEEL THE URGE TO CHOKE SOMEBODY.

 Or at least slap them. 

Got my federal refund

The Nuremberg Defense applies so often.

Inhaling grapefruit and clove oil 🌿

WHAT A NIGHT

I'M TOLD AT LEAST TWO PEOPLE WERE SHOT IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE BUILDING.

 I counted eight cop cars. 

GLUCOSE RULES!

 In other news, someone stole my toothpaste again.

EASTER TUESDAY

 You get the idea. 

EASTER MONDAY

I WISH PEOPLE WOULD QUIT SAYING HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY.

 And learn the difference between fasting and abstinence while they're at it. 

APRIL FOOL'S DAY

 Not feeling very jokey.