MY HUNGARIAN FLAG SHIRT

EU DAY:

🇪🇺🇭🇺 https://t.co/q0L8kqhURG

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) May 9, 2026

ASSHOLE IS RIGHT.

 I AM a magnet for violence:

Shooting on Wisconson Avenue in Tenleytown, 18-year-old victim is expected to be ok. My best friend is right--I AM a magnet for violence: https://t.co/qKc93kEoNO

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) May 8, 2026

RIP Ted Turner.

Cinco de Mayo

STAR WARS DAY

Golden Tempo is the winner of the 2026 Kentucky Derby. 🏇

HAPPY MAY DAY!

YAY!

IT WAS 23 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH THAT I STARTED MY FIRST BLOG AND ADOPTED MY FIRST PIG.

 As Walter Miller said, I have been writing this crap for a long time. 

King Charles and Queen Camilla are in town.

THINKING OF SOMETHING MY MOTHER SAID:

Some people's lives are so small, so dull, so limited, they have so little going on.

Back at work

If my mother were alive she'd be freaking out.

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) April 26, 2026

I wanna cry.

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) April 26, 2026

OMG, I was there about an hour before that: #correspondentsdinner #nerdprom #shooter #whcd https://t.co/JEhXeCcsE1

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) April 26, 2026

SHOOTING AT THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER

I left the hotel before it happened. Had a bad feeling before I went in. 

IT WAS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

But the night was nice. 

I FEEL THE URGE TO CHOKE SOMEBODY.

Or at least slap them. 

Got my federal refund

YEAH...

The Nuremberg Defense applies so often.

Inhaling grapefruit and clove oil 🌿

Getting a tax refund

ORTHODOX EASTER

Christ is risen.

Also, elections in Hungary. 

IN MEMORIAM

Across from the site of Thursday morning's shooting #DC #FRIENDSHIPHEIGHTS #MURDER #MURDERSUICIDE #SHOOTING #WMATA pic.twitter.com/p9vsZwgClw

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) April 11, 2026

WHAT A NIGHT

2 Metro employees dead after shooting in Friendship Heights: https://t.co/b8Vm5m29IH

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) April 9, 2026

Crime scene video on 44th St NW in Friendship Heights between Harrison and Jenifer Streets. Police confirm two dead. Video credit: Jane Hautanen pic.twitter.com/sJ08S7FI28

— Jane Hautanen (@snipercatcher) April 9, 2026

I'M TOLD AT LEAST TWO PEOPLE WERE SHOT IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE BUILDING.

 I counted eight cop cars. 

GLUCOSE RULES!

In other news, someone stole my toothpaste again.

EASTER TUESDAY

 You get the idea. 

EASTER MONDAY

 

EASTER SUNDAY

THE BUTTER LAMB

 A Southern/Eastern European tradition:

I WISH PEOPLE WOULD QUIT SAYING HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY.

And learn the difference between fasting and abstinence while they're at it. 

HOLY THURSDAY

The Last Supper:

 

APRIL FOOL'S DAY

 Not feeling very jokey. 

THOSE COMPUTER COURSES CAME IN HANDY.

 

Palm Sunday🌴

My vet is retiring.

Saw the cherry blossoms

NORTHEAST DC IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST CATHOLIC PART OF THE CITY.

 Why don't I feel anything when I go there?

Someone took my toothpaste.

Taking the recycling out of the house is kind of like getting the toxins out of your body.

I need help thinking outside of the box.

Multifactor authentication sucks.

Was it today or yesterday I dreamt about a nuclear explosion?

WHAT WOMEN WANT:

Actually I've probably titled posts like this years before. 

A NEW LOW

Dude called me from the bathroom and flushed while he was talking to me. I want more money.

FIRST DAY OF SPRING

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. JOSEPH.

My great-grandfather, grandfather, uncle and two cousins were called Joseph. 

WORKING ON MY NIGHT OFF

Not a happy camper. 

St. Pat's Day

AFTER WATCHING THE OSCARS I AM WATCHING TRAINSPOTTING TO CLEANSE MY BRAIN:

 

DUH

Saturday the 14th

Friday the 13th

BINGO

 

Lou shares the troubles of public transport (they/them only)
by u/itsvickeh in illnessfakers

Connecticut Avenue isn't what it used to be.

RAN INTO MY DOCTOR AT BUA THAI

Good thing I was just eating an appetizer and drinking a Diet Coke. 

THE MOON LOOKS LIKE A LEMON WEDGE

 

I'LL CLEAR THE ROAD, THE GRAVEL AND THE THORNBUSH IN THE PATH....

That burns a scented oil

That I'll drip into your bath

The water's there to warm you 

And the earth is warmer 

When you laugh:

No bad dreams today

Feeling better. I saw birds. 🐦‍⬛

Don't forget to spring forward.

It looks downright dystopian outside. ☁️

Had a bad dream about a robbery, trouble falling back to sleep

BACK AT WORK

 

STILL POSITIVE

 

And it snowed. 

Washing the clothes I put on Monday and took off Friday

I literally can't smell the roses.

Fever down, feeling better

TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID

 

Sick at home

WOKE UP WITH A SORE THROAT

Hoping to not go out until tonight. 

It's something when you feel to lousy to see a doctor. 

HERE COMES THE SNOW

 

We are being threatened with more snow.

SNOW HAS MELTED IN THE FRONT AND BACK YARD.

Started taking out more of the recycling.

Ash Wednesday

IT'S CHINESE NEW YEAR, SHROVE TUESDAY, A NEW MOON, MY FATHER AND AUNT MARGIE'S BIRTHDAY AND JESSE JACKSON DIED.

I saw him at least once. Not sure if I ever interviewed him.

President's Day

VALENTINE'S DAY

The Seattle Seahawks are the winners of Superbowl LX.

IT WAS ABOUT 13 DEGREES THIS MORNING.

winds are supposed to be gusting up to 60 MPH.🌬️ I went outside for about five minutes and came back in. 🙁

Sonny Jurgensen died.

Took some of the recycling out

GROUNDHOG DAY

 

DONE

 

A WINTER’S TALE

 Not a long one: 

I DID BUY A CO-OP IN 2024 SO THERE'S THAT:

 

OUR FRONT YARD

 

Went to Lidl, felt like the former Soviet Union

FEELING LIKE A PIONEER WOMAN:

 

Dragged my sorry ass into work two hours early

Why are front desk people so anal?

Back home with the pigs

 

Here comes the snow.

The beginning of my little "mini" vacation

FIVE MONTHS AGO TODAY:

 

MLK DAY

He had a dream. 

WOW

 See https://www.passiton.com/inspirational-stories-tv-spots/189-dear-me

The full version: 

 

MY "NEW" PHONE

 Had it activated it yesterday:

My new phone arrived.

I AM NOT DEAD INSIDE.

Just comatose.

Broke my phone yesterday

SHEEP QUESTION

An email from 2009: "Well, I was a farm-boy and not a shepherd, so, I don't really know the answer.

When does a lamb become a full grown sheep?"

GRIEF?

 

I guess we can grieve a lot of things. 

I don't have a concussion.

I ENDED UP DOING WHAT EMMA STONE DID

WORKS FOR ME

FELL OFF THE SCOOTER ON THE WAY BACK FROM LIDL/TACO BELL

Maybe Doordash would have been a better idea.

I would have expected better from the Swiss.

Happy New Year!