I'M TOLD AT LEAST TWO PEOPLE WERE SHOT IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE BUILDING.

 I counted eight cop cars. 

GLUCOSE RULES!

 In other words, someone stole my toothpaste again.

EASTER TUESDAY

 You get the idea. 

I WISH PEOPLE WOULD QUIT SAYING HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY.

 And learn the difference between fasting and abstinence while they're at it. 

APRIL FOOL'S DAY

 Not feeling very jokey. 

THOSE COMPUTER COURSES CAME IN HANDY.

 

Palm Sunday🌴

My vet is retiring.

Saw the cherry blossoms

NORTHEAST DC IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST CATHOLIC PART OF THE CITY.

 Why don't I feel anything when I go there?

Someone took my toothpaste.

Taking the recycling out of the house is kind of like getting the toxins out of your body.

I need help thinking outside of the box.

Multifactor authentication sucks.

Was it today or yesterday I dreamt about a nuclear explosion?

WHAT WOMEN WANT:

Actually I've probably titled posts like this years before. 

A NEW LOW

Dude called me from the bathroom and flushed while he was talking to me. I want more money.

FIRST DAY OF SPRING

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF ST. JOSEPH.

My great-grandfather, grandfather, uncle and two cousins were called Joseph. 

WORKING ON MY NIGHT OFF

Not a happy camper. 

St. Pat's Day

AFTER WATCHING THE OSCARS I AM WATCHING TRAINSPOTTING TO CLEANSE MY BRAIN:

 

DUH

Saturday the 14th

Friday the 13th

BINGO

 

Lou shares the troubles of public transport (they/them only)
by u/itsvickeh in illnessfakers

Connecticut Avenue isn't what it used to be.

RAN INTO MY DOCTOR AT BUA THAI

Good thing I was just eating an appetizer and drinking a Diet Coke. 

THE MOON LOOKS LIKE A LEMON WEDGE

 

I'LL CLEAR THE ROAD, THE GRAVEL AND THE THORNBUSH IN THE PATH....

That burns a scented oil

That I'll drip into your bath

The water's there to warm you 

And the earth is warmer 

When you laugh:

No bad dreams today

Feeling better. I saw birds. 🐦‍⬛

Don't forget to spring forward.

It looks downright dystopian outside. ☁️

Had a bad dream about a robbery, trouble falling back to sleep

BACK AT WORK

 

STILL POSITIVE

 

And it snowed. 

Washing the clothes I put on Monday and took off Friday

I literally can't smell the roses.

Fever down, feeling better